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How can I control this feeling.?
please help me. i had sex with my boyfriend before. the problem is i always keep remembering and thinking about past thing with him. i think this is a desire. but why only to him? i now this thing is blocking my future, but its really hard to stop. i confuse what is happening to me. i thinks it getting worst because i’m being like this for 3 years now. what if it will be 4 and 6 and forever?? I don’t know this is wrong or no. what am i gonna do?
• 2 years ago
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27 April 2011
2,676 (Level 4)
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters
It is better for you to forget everything which transpired. This is a past happening and should be taken as such. It should not affect your today. We incidentally do so many things but do you think we should remain sticking to these. Whatever happened, it should be forgotten as a bad dream. If we remain stuck to that bad dream, it will adversely affect your today. And that would be a miserable thing. And by the same token is your bf remembering that incident. I doubt he is. Then why you. Just leave it and live a peaceful life, non-challantly.
• 2 years ago
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Dear, Problem is that You Really love him, it happens that you cant forget anyone whom you love but life never stops for anyone, best way is to keep yourself busy, it will help you lot, me too facing this situation.. and I had find this best…
You can control your feelings by doing meditation everyday…you can involve in some extra curricular activities too…
o 2 years ago
INDIA HAS CEMENTED ITS DEMOCRATIC CREDENTIALS
The recent concluded elections and its results are indicative of a good augury for further cementing democratic credentials of our country. It has also shown to the world at large that India’s institution of democracy is strengthening day by day. This has been established beyond doubt by following ground realities:-
- Govern Well or Face Being Voted out. The voters without exception have made it clear to the contesting parties to show good results in governance or face being voted out.
- General Awareness of People about their Democratic Rights. People in general are now aware about how they can tilt the power indices from non-performers or those who do not deliver their promises made to the electorates.
- Deliverance of the Goals by the Political Parties. Now the parties also have realized that if they do not realize the promises made to the electorates they are sure to be voted out of power by the awakened people.
- Secular Credentials are Cemented. This is one of the best outcomes of current elections. Now the people without any consideration to caste etc have voted for the person who is eligible in every way rather than any other considerations – like muscle power / money power /caste factor etc.
- Corrupts are voted out. People have shown their zero tolerance for corruption and now use their democratic rights in the best possible manner. Corrupts and unscrupulous are being voted out. Now the parties are giving tickets to the people with clean image. This is really a good achievement of our democratic institution.
- Inflationary Pressure / Policy Paralysis & Voting Pattern . The inflationary pressure on the people has also made people vote against the ruling parties and tilted the balance. Policy paralysis resulting in non-implementation of major decisions with regard to monetary control; keep a tab on imports / export; enhancement in agricultural and industrial sectors and other sectors of economy too has impacted voting pattern.
- A Word of Praise for Election Commission of India. Election Commission has transacted its task commendably well. This has given a further boost to our democratic institutions.
The result in three States of Madhya Pradesh; Chhatisgarh and Rajasthan is quite laudable. It is not which party has won or lost but how the people voted that matters. They were influenced more by ground realities and not merely by promises which the parties concerned made to the electorates.
Unfortunately the results for Delhi have thrown a real challenge to parties BJP; AAM ADMI and Congress. No party has won 36 seats to form Government. BJP has expressed its inability to form Government because they are 4 seats short. The Congress has only 8 which cannot even think of forming a Government. The invitation to AAM ADMI with 28 members by Lt. Governor has also not been taken in right spirit by this party. Though Congress has given assurance that they will support them in forming Government and BJP has assured their constructive support yet of no consequence.
Now ball is in the court of AAM ADMI party. But instead of giving positive response its convener has written letters to BJP and Congress putting forth their 18 point agenda as a pre-condition for forming their Government. This is really baffling. If Congress with 8 members agrees to support AAM ADMI party with 28 members; it will have more than required number of members (36) to form the Government and if at any point of time Congress withdraws their support it will not be taken kindly by the people. Also AAM ADMI party has flatly refused to support BJP to form Government. BJP is not able to cobble home the required number. Now onus remains on AAM ADMI party.
In the present scenario the re-election is the other possible option. In this sort of situation what about the financial burden on the tax payers? What about the promises made by the AAM ADMI party in its manifesto to the AAM LOGS? They should explore possibilities of forming Government otherwise they will lose the goodwill they have earned so assiduously. By running away from forming Government the party will lose chance of delivering goods when it was given a golden chance. And who knows what happens in the re-election if it were held! People cannot be hoodwinked now. They are now more awakened than before. Mere promises with no deliverables will earn them their wrath rather than goodwill.
God may bestow them sagacity to act now and govern when they are called to do so.
Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?
Ans: While future is unpredictable cannot be disputed at all. Though we plan properly to meet these unpredictable eventualities yet result may not be to our liking. Life brings in its wake multifarious events which we least expect. It is thus advisable that we should always be ready to meet any unforeseeable contingencies head on – getting less nervous but more courageous in handling handling emergencies.
I was studying in college. My 12th standard result was out. Now was the time when I had to think about joining some professional colleges for a meaningful career. Just then there was a huge turn of events. Lost my father suddenly with a heart attack – had lost my mother a few years back. Such was my predicament that I could not make any perceptible decision as to what I should follow as my profession. I could not join any professional institution because of financial stringency because there was none to bank on for monetary help – required anyhow for following some vocation or avocation. This was a situation which caused heart-pounding belly-twisting nervousness naturally the cause of huge dose of adrenaline. I could not take independent decisions on further course to be followed. No light was visible at the end of the tunnel.
it is well said that when nothing works in your favour something from somewhere happens you do not fathom where from it’s come about but just happens which changes the course of action for you. This mystic experiment though is highly surprising but it happens in everybody’s life and remind us one thing: WHEN NOTHING WORKS OUR LORD WORKS FOR US.
Then suddenly; from somewhere I got the required funds for my further education consequently all the dark clouds enveloping me just evaporated in thin air without even a slightest adverse implications on me. Completed the education pursuits; got everything from life with His participation and He bestowed me with everything which is required for life to live a meaningful life.
Now my final prayer to my Creator is that just as Thee have come to my succor; kindly come to the succor of others too when they strongly need Thy help!
OUR BELOVED NELSON MENDALA
There are some people
Who come here on our earth
To live and l live life
For their own self.
There are others
Who live for themselves
And those related to them
And nothing less.
But there are very few
Who are born
With a mission
Having a exceptional vision
Not for themselves
But for people
Lock; stock & barrel
Into the pressing problems
Of common gentry
Do everything for them
Even get imprisoned
Suffer untold miseries
Finally people at the helms
Realise their follies
Remove apartheid policies
Break to old orders
And bring in changes
Beneficial for the general masses.
Thus these a few ones
Not only change histories
But become histories
In the process.
Even when they are no more
They are forgotten not
For they never lived
But lived and died
Even God too require
Personages of this nature
That is why
They are taken there in His domain
With honor utmost
to Make difference
Even in Heaven.
Such people never die
For they remain in the hearts
Of people of this planet.
PRAYER – A MIND GAME PLAY IT NICELY
Prayers are admixture of pious thoughts and love directed towards God. Highest form of prayer provides us equanimity both in happy and unhappy occasions. Prayer done contemplatively or intensively sets the stage for experience which is the invaluable gift of Absolute Power. We learn detachment from worldly attachments and also purification of our inner self which are of prime importance. Though experience of all this is obviously mystic in nature yet bestows us bliss. This also gives us power to get rid of or lack of interest in negative traits like lust; covetousness; anger etc. The prayer also gives us identification / unity with our Creator – liberation (moksh). For this to happen and to make our prayers result oriented it is important that we take care of the following:-
• Get Rid of Arrogance. When we have excessive attachment towards material possessions we have the impudence of thinking that it is all due to our efforts. The prevalence of distorted ego can rightly be perceived by the presence of arrogance of highest order bordering on ignorance in true sense of terms. We should remove lack of knowledge or ignorance by taking shelter at the lotus feet of a Guru – well versed in Holy scriptures who could give us the transcendental Divine message and thus could dispel our doubts and remove every trace of arrogance of having the idea that everything is due to ‘me/I’ and give us eternal benefit.
• Choosing Guru. For getting eternal benefit it is of utmost importance that we take the guidance from a Guru who is well versed and knows the cause of our malady and worldly afflictions and can prescribe the right divine message; spiritually fundamental principle like an expert doctor who could diagnose the disease that afflicts us and prescribe the right medicine for complete cure. This cure ought to be the cure of the system as a whole and not only to suppress the disease. The purpose is to get emancipation from worldly bondage through theological inquiry. But the disciple should also search for truth and enquire into discrimination between eternal and non-eternal. It should never be forgotten that real self of a sentient being (jiva) – being the marginal potency is the creation of our benevolent Lord the controller of potency of highest order.
A personage of vision
With whom we connect with our emotions
He pin points our blemishes
Removes these with surgical precision
Like a surgical specialist
Who removes a part which dysfunctions
Fortunate are those who get Guru
Brimming with Braham Gyan
Transfer this to us without bias
And transports us from ignorance (Agyanta)
To the world of knowledge (Gyan).
O God grant us the gift of a Guru
Who purifies us thoroughly
So that immense piety & pity
Ooze from us eternally.
Guru is next to our mother
Who after giving birth
Mothers us with care
Showers her Godly love and concern of highest order
Sleeps on the wet stuff
So that we remain safe
Mothers cannot be chosen
These are God given
So is the Guru
• Know thyself. First and foremost thing that is essential for us is to know our ‘self’ fully – all the negative and positive traits – complete identification. When this identification is done we can then devise ways and means to get rid of the particular negativity that afflicts us. If identification is wrong then effort to put it into proper perspective will amount to a try with no futility. If one thinks subtle body to be the ‘self’ then it is the duty of the individual concerned for its mental and development. But real self is neither subtle body (mind; intelligence and ego) nor physical body. It is particle (anusaccidananda) of eternity – developed through spiritual enlightenment. The conscious entity which can feel and think is the real self. This conscious particle is designated as soul (Atma) – is eternal in nature does not die on the demise of body.
• Our Karma. Our present life is as per our karma in the previous lives. We reap what we have sown. We have got a golden chance in improving our karma qualitatively and quantitatively. Its affect is ever lasting. It is like a good medicine to cure our body system. What actions or thought percepts we should undertake to achieve our goal in life. It is not that we have to be attracted towards material possessions or indulgence in sensuality within and sometimes outside the socially recognized norms. Our negative karmas could be diluted or eradicated through sublime actions and thoughts – through compassion; helping needy and removing all negative instincts and karmas. We should do our action without thinking about the fruits of our action.
• Discrimination between Good & Bad. We tend to indulge in self appreciation through our various actions and reactions. This is through picking holes in others’ pockets without regard to know our own defects. In fact we are the prisoners of our own thinking. We actually misuse or take advantage our relative independence / free will. We fail to discriminate between good and bad eternal and non-eternal. God is the prime mover of this discriminating power. We being conditioned souls cannot see the difference between good and bad. Our bad impressions could be removed through our one pointed devotion to our Creator. A bad person indulges in negative actions and reactions but never accepting that he is at fault – that is his misfortune. But fact remains no conditioned soul is without any defects. But a good person recognises his defects and works hard to remove those defects. It can also be inferred that no human being is perfect in a sense of term. There is always scope for improvement. Only Our Creator is only perfect in every respect.
• Our Creator is a Strong Magnet. Our Creator loves us immensely. If we take one step towards Him; He takes ten to alleviate our hardships. It is a fact that our Infinite Absolute is our saver and manifests in variety of forms/incarnations (avtars) in this world of ours whenever there is demonic writ or the people in general are fearful in every way. It may be in the form of Lord Krishna or Lord Rama or Prophet Mohammad or Lord Jesus Christ or in many other forms.
In fact our Lord attracts us humans with His magnetism and spreads wellness by protecting righteousness and irreligiousty in the society by annihilating the evil / demoniac forces. He removes darkness of ignorance with His all-knowledge; all-existence and all-bliss and therefore these incarnations are all eternal.
It can be said that Bhakti or Prayer is the mind game. One who juggles well with five senses and reins these is bestowed the best results imaginable. And one who intensively does action and does not care for results of action is winner in all the games of life. So play the mind game well by controlling the senses and everything would be accomplished by our Bhagwan / Lord / Creator / Allaha for us. We need not even ask what we require. He is All-Knowing Being. AMEN
DETERMINATION MAKES DIFFERENCE
Today I was immensely surprised on seeing the indomitable spirit of a small ant. It was carrying a piece of grain and trudging on relentlessly. The weight of grain seemingly was more than its own weight. Every time the grain fell it picked it up and this continued for sometime till finally she was able to reach its destination. I was really surprised on seeing its determination. There were quite a number of grains collected at the destined place where it was collecting the grains for future use. May be it and its mates had kept for tiding over the coming winter.
It gave me a very sweet lesson. With strong will power / determination we can surmount any hurdle and transact even the most daunting tasks imaginable.
When we talk of self confidence; it is a balanced self confidence and not an exaggerated sense bordering on audaciousness. For infusion of self confidence our vision and mission and how these are to be attained is a must.Determination is byproduct of self confidence and for self confidence we have to have the following:-
- Self Worth. When we have chosen our goal with care and caution – taking into consideration all the relevant but legitimate points that we have to surmount on our onward journey to attain our mission / goal. We have also to carefully chalk out pluses and minuses. Make honest efforts how to enhance credit account of our pluses and reduce the shortfall in debit account of our minuses. Overdraft has to be avoided. These pluses may be in the form of augmentation of personal skills and be in sync with the advancement / strides made in managerial and technological fields. By being on the same page as technological advances and other fields of significance, one can confront any challenge that may come on our forward journey for reaching our goal. In this we have to take into cognizance the following:-
- Solid Belief on our Lord. First and foremost thing that we have to have in sufficient measure is rock solid belief that we are working in 100% partnership with our Lord nothing less may be more. Possess forbearance like a tree and have inner peace weathering strong storms and sunny days. Never bending its head after weathering elements without subjecting itself into vanity!
- Self Belief. On our forward march to our journey, we ought to have self-belief that what we are doing is the only course and should not tarry by the way by ‘what others’ say’ about you.
- Staying Power. When goal is set / fixed, be ready to take calculated risks and sometimes just taking unexpected risks believing that He is there with us to bank on.
- Challenge the Challenges. If challenges are on the path to the destined destination just challenge these taking into consideration that your path is righteous one hence no hurdle can stop our march ahead.
- Hurry Results in worry Ultimately. It should never be forgotten that attaining goal set is a must. Having set the goal we should endeavour to make our strides with care and caution. Every stride should be a confident one that the step we take should not entangle us in quagmire of our own making. Hasty steps result in unpredictable results should never be forgotten.
- Self-esteem. On our march ahead, we have to acknowledge the appreciations of concerned people and also thank our Lord for removing all the hurdles without giving air to our EGO. It should never be forgotten that there is a very thin border line between SELF ESTEEM and EGO.
- Positive Attitude. While traversing our path to journey ahead, we have to adopt positive attitude only analyzing before hand everything and not groping in the dark. This positivity in attitude includes: kindness, pity, piety, righteousness, et al. If we are engulfed with negativity in any form like; corrupt practices, anger, covetousness et al we have to remove this dirt from our midst and move on with the notion that negativity leads to negative results. These are also enemies of our self belief and self confidence.
Child is born with a cleanest slate
Knows not where the fate will take
Tender love of mother
Who shows us the light
And caressing of our father with care
Gives us the inkling that we are dearly cared.
Thence our Guru’s wisest sermons
Make us realize our own self justly
Organizes our inner instincts decisively.
Thus starts our efforts to follow the right direction
For realization of our true intentions
Without falling into the trap of unreasonable temptations
Apathy at work place
Laziness at house
Be very revengeful to these
Remove these enemies with thy efforts
Before these put brakes on thy further march
And further obliterate the feel of success
If pressure gives thee the backward pull
Motivation bestows thee forward push
And enthuses thee for march ahead
Just start it now and do the right
Procratinate and it’ll be thy undoing
The ones who start earnestly
They only make marry
The goal they set for themselves
Remember the ones who start now
Will face certain hurdles on the way
And not defeatists
Who never ventured at all
When thee start forward movement
These movements are watched by our Lord
He will pull us out of hurdles
If any thee face.