My best friend’s boyfriend misbehaved with me….

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My best friend’s boyfriend misbehaved with me….

I recently went to a party which a lot of my friends including my best friend and her boyfriend were.
They have been together for about a year and a half and really love each other and are a great couple, or so it seemed to me. I have become pretty good friends with her boyfriend and we have always gotten along like a house on fire, but in a completely platonic way.
Well at this party everyone was fairly drunk, my friend went to bed around 2 or 3am and I stayed up the whole night with the rest of the people who were awake. Eventually her boyfriend and I were the last ones still up as everyone else had crashed at like 5am.
We were just talking about random stuff as usual and looking at things on my phone when he started to become very flirtatious. I guess its weird but he is really friendly to me all the time and its not unusual to hug goodbye etc. so when we were sitting with his arm around me it wasn’t altogether weird to me at first. Then he started complimenting me a lot and I could tell he was hitting on me.
Ok this is where things come in to confusing territory for me.
He started being really touchy, like stroking my arm and touching my hand and stuff. Then he sort of put his hand just at the top of my top I was wearing and like really slowly and sneakily touched my boob like really gently (just the top nothing inside my bra).
I didn’t say anything and I let this go on for like a good 10 seconds and then I just gently guided his hand out of my top. His hand was only like just under my collar sort of thing not fully up my top. I didn’t say anything but I think he received the message because he didn’t try anything more.
Then I noticed he had a hard on in his jeans o_O which I guess just confirmed it was definitely sexual for him (if that wasn’t already obvious).
So after I had basically wordlessly removed his hand we sat there in silence still with his arm around my shoulder for a few minutes. Then he got up said goodnight and covered me in a blanket and went upstairs to where my friend was sleeping.
So thats what happened, basically not much physical really happened but there was a moment of attraction between us. I have always had a bit of a crush on this guy just in the way that I would like to meet someone like him. I would never in a million years EVER try and steal him away from my friend I value her friendship far more than any else.
Where do you think I stand morally, have I done the wrong thing by my friends? I honestly don’t know but I feel really guilty about this whole thing.
I don’t think I should tell her because I think it would destroy their relationship and I honestly think he is a good honest guy who just had a lapse of judgement as I did. They are happy together and I don’t want that ruined so I can feel better or less guilty or whatever.
Please give me your take on the situation, I’m desperate for some advice.
Thankyou 🙂
Harbans Lalby Harbans Lal

Member since:
27 April 2011
Total points:
2,388 (Level 3)

Best Answer – Chosen by Asker

From the acount you have penned down, it is clear that the guy was upto something which would have created a sligtly different situation vis-a-vis your friend. I can honestly say that you should avoid him in future. You have been morally correct in stopping him from going any further. I fully appreciate your predicament and the way you came out of the situation.
If the two are happy together then just leave it at that and forget the incident like a bad dream and live on hereafter happily like nothing has transpired.
  • 6 hours ago
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4 out of 5
Asker’s Comment:
Thanks for your help. I think you are right I should just forget it ever happened and try to avoid being alone with him in the future. They seem happy together and I want it to stay that way for my friends’ sake.


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  • Skootaby Skoota

    Member since:
    26 July 2009
    Total points:
    7,599 (Level 5)
    You definitely did nothing wrong but i would have a serious talk with your friends boyfriend.
    Tell him it was not cool and if it happens again you will tell your friend.
    just remember alcohol lowers your inhibitions and lets

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7 thoughts on “My best friend’s boyfriend misbehaved with me….”

  1. You acted like a caring friend who values a good friendship. You are a Lady .Be happy ,jalal

  2. He had a ten second lapse of judgment. I wonder how many more he might have with other friends not quite as true as you are?
    I remember years ago, i was just married. We lived in the kind of neighborhood where we all were friends. We were in a friend’s Jacuzzi along with another couple. Right with my husband sitting there, my friend’s husband put his foot on my crotch. We were all kind of drinking etc and I thought maybe it was an accident until he grabbed my foot and placed it on his. I grabbed it away.
    I also never told her, though heard later that they divorced. No wonder. I always wondered if I could have spared her some pain by clue-ing her in earlier.

    1. From your account it is clear that the person in question was a habitual transgressor. Such people do not respect relationships and their sanctity. Fact remains such people are not trustworthy at all and they dig their own pit in which they themselves fall.

      The person concerned you are talking about is such a fellow who does not have self control and when it comes to sexual norms such people do not have even an iota of sensitivity. Neither have self respect nor for others with whom such people behave.

      You’ve acted right in not informed that person’s wife because ultimately it has proved that every bad acts ends with bad results as you’ve told the pair have divorced. It had to happen one day!

      Thanks for your straight forward assertion.

  3. Harbans, It has been more years than I could or can count since i have been in a situation (from the guys view) that you were in. I am touchie feelie myself, but even back then if I slipped my hand or fingers tips under the blouse of my intentions were to go as far as I could. And I believe your girl friends boyfriend was trying to put a move on you, and had you allowed it to go on more than 10 seconds he would have taken that as approval and proceeded as far as he could. I would give him a very wide berth, and maybe even keep an eye on him, and if you catch him trying to feel up someone else, I would tell your girlfriend as soon as you can. Take care, Bill

    Also, you decided to follow me and for that I appreciate it greatly. I hope you continue to find my blog interesting and enjoyable. Again take care,

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