Importantly, essential prerequisites of a relationship is how best we can correlate / adjust with our fellow beings with change of internal and external situations. For this to happen in a smooth manner, we have to look into ourselves and ask what do we except from our fellow partner. Are our expectations falling within the purview of possibility? Or are these expectations asking for a ‘moon’? Do these expectations pass litmus test posed by creeping change(s) due to unforeseen situations / changed scenario; which we least expected but have crept in, anyhow?
Relation of spouses is predominantly based on the principle of give and take. It cannot be established in isolation – it is a two way traffic. Both have to work in tandem / cooperation so that the family fabric is not loosened. If some untoward situation comes, it has to be sorted out/attended to, then and there. Otherwise, the petty matter may snowball into ruination of an established relationship. If something goes wrong, it will have adverse implications not only on couples concerned but also their offspring, who are anyhow dependent upon them. It should always be kept in mind that both the spouses should not sleep over a pestering wound lest that wound may become cancerous/ have ruinous effect on the family as a whole. Many a lives have been ruined when small matters, not taken care on time have spiralled out of control with disastrous consequences.
Secondly, in the joint family system, we have to respect the sensibilities of each members. In this, parents, grand-parents and sometimes brothers and sisters too may be part of the unit. It should also be kept in mind that temperament of each being different, care have to be exercised that each one’s needs are attended to, each one’s self respect protected besides edifice / principles on which the joint family works have to be respected. Here the small ones and old ones are to be bestowed with special care and protection. Here jointmanship code works better.
In the workplace, we have to be formal in our dealings with others. Due respect to our seniors and respecting the sensitivities of juniors have to be the binding factor for the official work to be transacted in right earnest and in a systematic manner. Sometimes, some emergent needs may call for our undivided attention to assigned task(s) in hand. The assigned targets have to be religiously met. Otherwise, there may be differences in the office. Here too, there are the people, like in the family, who have to be guided or sometimes goaded to go ahead and show performance. Rewards for the go-getters and sometimes punishment for the truants (if persuasion fails) have to be a norm. But humane touch by the management should never be lost sight of.
Then, more important than anything else is your moral high ground, which you espoused for quite sometimes, coming in the way of your relationship? Or other times, your physical endurance may come in the way of holding on to the relationship. This is so when one is old, when he / she has little to show by way of independent opinion. That is the time when the offspring time comes for repayment.
Finally, the relationship that we have cultivated with our CREATOR is one of the basic factors, important for our SELF REALIZATION. If we are self realized ones, we shall be able to exhibit sufficient patience, tolerance, equanimity both in pleasure and pain and thus be immune to internal and external pulls and pressures. A self realized one will not have negativities like ego, greed, anger, ill-will and all the ill-conceived notions for others too. That person being near to our LORD, can never be led astray by anything under the sun.
With this intention in view, I have penned down a poem titled, RELATIONSHIP. Kindly go through and comment.
Our connection with our Creative Lord,
Indeed defies logic,
He showers His love,
Whether thee reciprocate it or not,
Makes difference naught,
Provides with His bounties to one and all,
And if thou reciprocate His love with prayer and good deeds,
He cleanses thy misdeeds (nishkarma),
And gives a permanent abode,
In His warmest heart for all times to come (Moksha).
Relationship that we enjoy with our parents,
Too is too close to make mention in words,
Due to them we open our eyes & see this enchanting world,
Due to them we enjoy the bounties of Mother Nature.
Mother tends us in her womb till birth,
Suffering pangs without even a demur,
And after birth that you become worth,
She gives her everything she held dear,
So that you earn name and fame in future.
Relationship of husband and wife ought to be on rock solid base,
Bumps on the road in life are to be jumped over with ease,
Lest these bumps take a tardy turn for the worst,
A relation based on concrete connectivity has concrete life span,
And can hold-up any blitz from enemy within between the two,
Creeping differences ought to be nipped in the bud with mutual agreement.
With equal respect to each at stake,
Sliding other can slide the train of relationship,
And not kept simmering till becoming uncontrollable,
Attend the hair-line-crack from becoming a hole gaping,
A soft but firm hug can debug bugging relation,
And make serviceable the bad connection.
Then bad-mouthing by the duo,
And standing on formal ceremony by the two,
Can have an unkind end result,
And put a final peg on the casket,
Of relationship that exists.
Consider, nobody has ever won argument,
For a win-win situation keep your head clear,
And sometimes agree to disagree in a soft manner,
To iron out differences if those bedevil ever
Here ‘Time’ will certainly be thy rescuer.
Forget not winking each other to make the life bit a silky route,
But not hoodwinking and make it a slippery road to nowhere.
Self conscious but not unconscious of the emotions of other,
Creeping problems not to be slept over,
Lest these spin out of control,
And embitter the sweet relation.