How we speak makes difference? To know a language, and how best to use while interacting with others are two different aspects. Whenever we are addressing somebody, we have to be self aware that the use of words ought not offend others. Just introspection for a while will save many a blushes afterwards and help avoid ripples in our relationships. It is mere jugglery with the words. If the words and phrases could be combined judiciously, refined, civilized and sometimes polished words spoken could be of help.  Many of the peculiar saved if we just think before speak.


          For keeping healthy relationships, speaking politely, selecting the right words, never forgetting the sensitivities of others, et al are important. Just thinking, if vulgar words / language is directed at us, what impact the same may cause to us?


Two case histories are given below:- 


                 In the first instance, while purchasing the ticket from the ticket collector in DTC bus, I was appalled when the conductor of the bus curtly asked me ‘o tu ticket le’ (O there you, take ticket). What a sweeping use of language. When inquired, why he was using this rude language he simply retorted, without reservation: ‘men ne esi hi language seekhi hey aur esi hi istemal karta hun pasant karo ya na muje keya (‘I have learnt this sort of language, use this type of language, like it or not, I do not care’) . May be his behavior pattern is due to his parents stringent financial condition due to which he could not get right education and consequently not civilized manner of use of language.


            In the second instance, there is another case history of a person in our office. Due to his close proximity, I can vividly relate his case:

  • Who has attained formal education due to his well-off family background,
  • He has attended training courses in public speaking.
  • Who has attained good position and standing in the office due adequate education and a bit of luck. 

               His style of functioning in the office is worst to say the least. He abuses his subordinates, colleagues and sometimes his seniors, picks up quarrels at flimsy pretext, is past master at back biting / back stabbing but in presence of the person concerned, he uses all sorts of refined language! I ventured to ask him about peculiar behavior pattern, while he was in good mood. He shot back: ‘Why I should tell?’. These four words speak volumes about his state of mindset. He was helped financially by his parents but not given their quality time for the refinement of his innate tendencies. This is the reason why he remains boiling from inside, resulting in debilitating diseases like high blood pressure, obesity, heart ailments and what not and remains busy in popping one medicine after another.


                   The above two instances go to show that if we want that our children behave well with others; it is paramount that we, as parents or older members give our children quality time:

  • Assist them imbibe positive mindset with traits such as compassion, pity, piety, kindness.
  • Help them remove from their system negative traits such as anger, greed, rancor, backbiting.
  • Help our children as to how to conduct themselves while interacting with others. Public speaking calls for use of appropriate words at appropriate time for maximum result. Better remain silent rather than make others offensive.

                    The above is instance of use of language used by the uncouthed worker who did not get right education from the parents as they themselves were illiterate. Also, he did not get opportunity to get formal or informal instructions because of his family background.


                   We may come across such and many glaring examples of misuse or disuse of language. Be that as it may, we have to go deep into it and see that use of the language is used with discretion.

It is not merely use of language but the modulation in the use of language is also counted.


We have to see that our children use correct and civilized words and win goodwill and respect in return not only for themselves but also  for us as parents. People certainly appreciate one who uses right words at right places and make impact on others.  

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10 thoughts on “USE OF REFINED LANGUAGE”

  1. What I have noticed recently is that the use of vulgar language has become more of style and part of modernity. You are right, for it has to come from childhood.

    1. You are right, the first lesson in right use of lanaguage and style is learnt from the parents and the nears and dears and if they fail to impart this, the child learn this from the environs they come in contact with. That environ may or may not be conducive to good learning including language and communication, etc.

      If the parents fail to give the children their quality time, then sure enough this huge opportunity in fulfilling their responsibility/duty is missed by them which may be they will have to repent later on.

  2. It is a fact that the language learning and modulation in use of language is learnt from MOTHER who is the GURU of the children. Those mothers who do not give the quality time to their children are not performing their sacred duty.

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