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Monthly Archives: April 2014

I WAS MOLESTED WHEN I WAS A KID BY MY COUSIN. MAYBE WHEN I WAS 3-4..?

I WAS MOLESTED WHEN I WAS A KID BY MY COUSIN. MAYBE WHEN I WAS 3-4..?

Maybe when I was 3-4..? now I’m 20..he was 19 back then so he definitely knew what he was doing. he happens to be my first cousin and we live in the same house. when I was a kid, …show more
Best Answer

• Harbans answered 3 years ago

I can really understand your predicament. The act of this guy is really immoral, condemnable, reprehensible and all those things which are associated with a worst guy. He represents people who outwardly show to be good and internally they are the worst ones. Guys of that nature go on showing that they are the good people but those who know their real picture understand how bad they are.

Now that a thing which had transpired years ago cannot be undone. That must have traumatized you and your family members when they came to know about this. Please remember one precept, ‘what cannot be cured must be endured’. If you do not do this, you are in for a trouble in your life. At that time you were merely a child, now you have grown up. I suggest, you should try forgetting this episode (but it is easy said than done) but is there any other alternative. It can be done slowly but surely by auto-suggestion to your mind that I do not care for what has happened or not happened. Let by gone be by gone. Get over by your internal strength and determination, will power. And never think you are different from others. And rightly so, you should never think that all the men are bad, but the people of ‘rakish’ mentality are there aplenty. It should hardly make you rethinking that you have to live your life as a normal human being. And you are the only one who could make a difference. Neither counselling or any other therapy can make a difference. Start now without losing much of time and you will see that your Creator will also come to your rescue.

Now, after you have closed this bad chapter of your life by your internal power, take life as a new leaf and act accordingly. Let nobody repeat about this bad thing in your life and see the difference that it will create to you.
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Posted by on April 29, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

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SPREADING SMILE

SPREADING SMILE

For some, it is a hallow expression,
For others, it is vital inner emotion,
Then some just smile on all / odd occasions,
For some, smile is inner pain reflection,
Sometimes smile shows suspicious behavior exhibition,
Other times, smile is hidden inside a smile,
Some smile with snarl, with teeth exposition,
Showing on the surface anger & confusion,
Smile shows fear and wit on certain occasions,
Then smile of a stranger is usually unfathomable,
This smile may be receptive or deceptive,
God knows for sure.

Destiny smiles on us for sure,
When we mix smile with sweat of our brows.

A mix of smile with sweat simplifies our work culture,
With oneness of purpose to go further.

With sincerity at our command
resources will be provisioned.

For God smiles on us with compassion
When we seek His attention passionately.
He bestows us everything that we aspire
Resulting in contentment and eternal smile.

God finally liberates us from the unending,
Cycle of births and deaths that we keep experiencing.

Thenceforth, He keeps us in His lovely bosom.
With no fear of delusive May.

O God implant an eternal smile
So that this smile is transferred to all
And its fragrance spreads afar
And misses non.

HARBANS KHAJURIA

SPREADING SMILE

If we observe the face of a smiling child, we can observe its innocence, just a divine feel, love oozing out of its purity and when the child weeps, it weeps for attention that feeling is also pointed one. No duality attached.
Smile is a formation of facial expressions – flexing of facial muscles on both the end of the mouth. Smile could also be there by contraction of the eye muscles. This sign could be construed as a positive sign of happiness. It could be termed as a positive emotional indicator. Smile indicates the sign of happiness, social acceptability etc. Smile is universally accepted norm for communicating our expressions. It requires no language to know meaning of a smile. A smile makes quite an impression on the people we are interacting with. A smile connotes that we are approachable or your interaction is a welcome. More appealing thing about smile is that it is transferable and we can say that it is positive sign of communication. It has been experienced that in social discourse smiling is most potent. Smiling can also be construed as a sign of friendly well wishing. It could be for friends and also for family members in addition to an indication of starting a dialogue. A welcome sign for further communication. A smile could be voluntary or involuntary/just instantaneous, prompted by some particular event or happening.

Sometimes smile could be a cover up for an embarrassing situation or to hide a hurt which an individual may have felt. Smile can also be felt in animal world. We must have observed the domestic pets like dogs and cats exhibiting their exhilaration through this sign.

The real smile is the one which is experienced by a person who is near to our Creator. A spiritual awakened soul. Smile is a permanent feature on his/her face. Smile comes to him/her from the core of the heart. No efforts made in this emotional stimulus. This smile is also termed as a divine bliss – or eternal smile. That person feels equanimity in pleasure, pain or just doing nothing (while feeling bored – which he never feels).

Smiles are the results of good emotions that are generated while we do good things in our lives like meeting others’ needs, feeling kindness or mercy or feeling pain when others are experiencing it. In other words, we experience permanent smile in us when our heart is filled with the love of our Creator – a pious love which spreads fragrance of goodwill and mercy all around. His love can engulf us only when sincere love springs from our inner self. The more we remain connected with our Creator the more we shall learn to smile. It is because no sense produced pleasure is permanent. It just evaporates after sometimes.

I realized the true meaning of smile yesterday, the one, I had not experienced in my entire life span – not even in dream or in my imagination. It just transpired. While coming out of my office, I happened to see an oldman lying on the pavement. I thought that person concerned may be hungry, purchased some chapaties (bread) and vegetable and gave those to him to eat. When I was giving eatables to him, he told me that he was thirsty. I brought a bottle of water for him to drink. After drinking some water, he gave me smile besides I saw a striking shine in his eyes. Thenceforth, I started towards my home. After my next day’s office hours, I was startled to see some gathering near that oldman. There was also a policeman doing punchnama (registering death). On enquiry, I was informed that the person on the pavement was ‘no more’! I just felt numb and reminisced with dismay that person’s ‘SMILE’ and twinkle in his eyes and also his wish for some water to drink. I also prayed to our Creator to grant that person peace in His abode. This sort of a smile remains etched in our heart and makes us introspect about impermanence of our existence. Just delusion/maya this life is! What remains is good impressions we create by our daily Karma which will grant us permanent smile.

It can, therefore, be said that a eternal smile can only dawn in us when we say good bye to the delusions of our life. Fragrance of smile can only spread if we ourselves laugh at worldly Maya and have permanent imprints of Smile in us by spreading this smile amongst the people around without bias.

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

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OUR EXPECTATIONS

OUR EXPECTATIONS

There is upbeat internal surge
When there is a birth of a solid urge
To excel with a desire to get more
Surfaces from thy inner self – to fore
And raises the pitch of thy confidence even further
Thence thee raise thyself to higher pedestal of life
For, there arises a self-fulfilling prophesy
Of touching the sky with glory
Creating a right image on the mind slate
Thee then challenge even thy unpredictable fate.

Birth of an idea – expectations that could be quantified
Could be worked and gracefully acquired
With right attitude and extra dose of sincerity
By so doing thou create positive environs directly
To tilt balance in thy favour
And raise pitch of thy expectations still further
But behold – not beyond the rules of expectations
Dare not go haywire in our assumptions
That the umbrella of hope gets shattered
Under the downpour of too much of expectations
Thus changing the meaning of coveted opinions,
Creating in its wake distrust, anger,
Ill-will and ultimate – ruins!

Expectations so fixed should be realizable
Based on our capacities and environs holding sway
Doubtlessly propelled by thy effort anyway
And bountiful blessings of our Father in the Heaven
So that our expectations succeed without friction.

Harbans Khajuria

OUT EXPECTATIONS

Today, we are living in a competitive environment. Sometimes, we go haywire in setting our expectations. There is no harm in setting high expectations (goals) but it should never be forgotten that are we having raw materials, in the form of our capacities and other influencing factor, needed for building that edifice of our expectations. If we have, then we can visualize the work to be put for achievement of the same. And on the way, if there is tangible improvement in achievement then perceived expectations could be increased/stretched. Our expectations and our performance thereof for realization of those expectations (goals) realistically determine our success or failure.
When it comes to expectations from our own self it is a bit difficult. If we know ourselves fully; our strengths and weaknesses, we can devise ways and means to work on our weak areas. This way we can plug the weak areas and influence the outcome. This way, first of all, we have to have self assessment of ours and then proceed in setting our goals (expectations).

SOME IMPONDERABLES FOR EXPECTATIONS

Anger and our Expectations. We expect much from ourselves but do not exert to control our anger which becomes an inhibiting factor for our further advancement/stretching our goal. Care ought to be exercised that sense control is of paramount importance and in that agent anger is the main mischief maker. We should be so completely absorbed in work or study or a project in hand that we become unaware of everything else, even of its results (which would be good) if the work and the intended goal is positive. To achieve the best results from what we do, we should be focused on the action with undivided attention. It should never be forgotten that in anger we are not focused to our work at hand. So the best way to control anger is to control or limit our expectations in the first instance. Too much expectations from our dears and nears just lead us nowhere if those expectations are not met.
It is synonymous to our complete surrender to our Lord – lock, stock and barrel.

We get angry if our desire is not fulfilled. (Gita 2.62)

Expectations and Self Realization. A self realized person knows his/her potentials and weakness. That person works to fill the weak areas and draws out the innate potentials with positive frame of mind. He/she knows that meaningful living is living actively, sensibly and selflessly. A self-realized person when meeting his/her goals (expectations) never forgets to meet ends with sincerity while being good to all those who come across his / her path. With positive attitude everything gets accomplished. Our expectations are not belied even if some failures may come sometimes but these could be surmounted with positive frame of mind / attributes. Fine-tuning the expectations could also help – lowering the pitch of our expectations. A self realized person is never shaken by some failures. He/she is not attached with result of his/her action. That person is peaceful and happy beyond doubt. Never feeling angry if something goes awry is his/her way of doing things.

Bhagward Gita rightly articulates a self realized person as:
A person who neither rejoices upon achieving something pleasant nor laments upon obtaining something unpleasant, who is self-intelligent, who is not wildered, and who knows the science of God, is already situated in transcendence.
Mind Control & Expectations. Our mind raises the pitch of our expectations. The best way to limit our expectations is to rein in our senses. Our mind asks for more and more. A satiety level, commensurate with the potential and other connected factors should be fixed and then efforts directed to fulfil the same.
The desire for pleasures takes one to the dark alley of sin, gets us in trouble, and prevents our progress. (Gita 2.67)
For getting our expectations fulfilled we are constrained to adopt different strategies. We even take the evil and criminal /unethical and sometimes immoral and irrational routes for getting those expectations fulfilled. It is, therefore, paramount that we have the total control of our senses and limit our expectations.

Our Expectations from others and our Attitude. In life we expect that we ought to be treated well by others. If there is any deviation in this, we feel disappointed. It should never be forgotten that for getting good treatment from others we have to treat others well, too. Then, we have high expectations from our close relatives and friends on whom we repose our trust. When trust deficit takes place, we feel disappointment. Expectations are in fact two ways traffic. Man being a social animal cannot work in isolation. If I meet somebody’s expectations/needs today then I can bank on his/her help whenever I need that person’s help. It is but natural. In other words, it is quid pro quo game. We can hardly trust people with whom we have not established any working relationships in this respect.

When our expectations are belied by our own kiths and kin, it pains us severely especially when we have invested our life’s savings including our goodwill for their advancement in life. Alast! when we need their assistance, we got thumb down. Then?

Then our Creator’s succor is the bank balance we are having. We should exploit it to the hilt! And why not, it is our Father’s treasury.

********

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

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MIRROR IS EASILY SHATTERED? HELP..?

The Mirror is easily shattered? Help.?

I always set my values, thoughts, beliefs and I walk forward trying to aim for what’s important, but every now and then I seem to look at the mirror and see a face with no …show more

Best AnswerAsker’s Choice

• Harbans answered 2 years ago

From the account you have penned down it is evident that you give too much credence to your values in life, your beliefs are quite dear to you. You also tend to follow and implement what is more important. Till this everything is too good and fine. But if you still stretch your imagination too much then there is over stressing / over pressing / over stretching yourself to a limit of not returning. This, in my view, may take to a realm of imagination and not reality. Too much everything is bad. Take one thing at a time and do your best in delving upon that in your present moment. Exert your maximum. If successful in that endeavour, it is a premium, and if not, it should not depress you. It should be a stepping stone for still more efforts and not put you in ‘depression’. Moving on in life is more important than solving one problem or the other. The result should not impact you adversely.

But make you more determined. If it still makes you unsuccessful, hardly matter. Sky will not fall down if you could not get your result. It should not affect your mindset.

As far as to know about who I am. You are specially created for a mission in life. Everyone is created for a mission. He should perform that as if this is ordained by our Creator. Please do not be hyper sensitive with anything under the sun. Everything has got time tag for its fruition. Nothing comes without honest effort. So do not be overly influenced by small things in life. These are hurdles but the result after you surmount those hurdles would be highly rewarding.
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Thank you , friend. You have put my mind at ease atleast for now.

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****

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

I NEED HELP TO GET CLOSURE, CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?

I NEED HELP TO GET CLOSURE, CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?

Recently, the famous wonderful singing sensation Whitney Houston passed away. I remember being young and listening to all her music. When she died, I couldn’t believe it, and I cried, because I was a big fan of hers. You might call me silly, but sometimes I just sit there, and listen to Whitney’s songs over and over again, because I can’t believe such a beautiful voice has left this Earth. I feel as if I need closure…

Lately I’ve been listening to:
“You Give Good Love” (I love this song <3)
"Saving All My Love" (This song soothes me)

If you're a Whitney’s fan out there, please tell me, if you're feeling the same way. I feel like there will never be a voice like Whitney's voice ever again, and it breaks my heart. My heart goes out to her family. Rest in Peace the Amazing Whitney Houston! ❤

Best AnswerAsker's Choice
• Harbans answered 2 years ago

Whitney Houston was a singing sensation. In all her singing, she has left an indelible impression on the world of singing. All, amongst them, myself too are having the same emotional upsurge. But can hardly do anything but pray to ALMIGHTY GOD to grant her peace in His abode.

The work of art gives a person the status of immortality through their work through which we remember them. In her case too it is so. So, in a sense she will not be dead till her singing or music is there in our midst. And that is really great.
Asker's Rating & Comment

*****
Ricky is retarded lmao.
I'm a guy…

 
8 Comments

Posted by on April 21, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

GOOD FRIDAY – A SOLEMN DAY

GOOD FRIDAY – A SOLEMN DAY

(ON 18th APRIL 2014)

Amongst all Fridays’, the most Holy,
Call it a Good Friday or a Great Friday,
No strings attached whatsoever for us all,
A day long penance and fasting observed without fail,
This Day is commemorated as an anniversary,
Of death of our beloved & revered Lord Christ,
This Day’s purity remains for a commoner or a priest.

A Day which we reminisce,
When our beloved Lord Jesus Christ,
Offered himself on the Cross,
Without even a slightest emotional upsurge,
Peaceful & compassionate while in real life passage,
And serene whilst embracing death by hapless.
Underwent crucification and ultimate surrender,
On this Day – to our common Creator!

Suffering for us – relentless pangs combined with humiliation,
A holy death indeed for our redemption,
His supreme sacrifice is an instrument of compensation,
For the sins of everyone of us on this earth.
AND then followed by a surprise resurrection,
Thus stunning the people at large by this revivification.
Methods may differ of observation,
But the holiness of Good Friday remains above par,
Devout kneel with utmost reverence, they pay,
Before wooden Cross kept in Churches so holy on this day.

Seven last words of Lord Christ are too repeated,
So that HIS utterances remain engraved,
In our memory lane forever and ever.
A symbolic burial of the Lord too is performed,
Differences may be in the methods,
Yet inner most springing of touching feeling is unparalleled,
For our Beloved Jesus Christ,
Who for Truth’s sake gave His everything,
So that we may be absolved of our sins.

HARBANS KHAJURIA

GOOD FRIDAY

It has been seen that the incarnations of our Creator had to endure trials and tribulations in their life time while living on this earth. They presented a living example for us humans to see how best they withstood onslaughts of those who opposed the very idea of departure from their pseudo and outdated beliefs. While reforming the masses, the messenger of our God faced umpteenth obstacles from those who opposed their ideals. These incarnations faced hurdles at every step but with their foresights and fortitude these Apostles of Peace challenged the old and hackneyed mores of behaviour and came out unscathed ultimately. After their earthy sojourns they were accepted as the Messengers of God by one and all. This is the tragedy of humans that we do not recognize His Messengers/Incarnations while they are on this planet but when they are no longer with us then we take them as their revered ones!

Lord Jesus Christ is one example amongst others like Prophet Mohammad, Lord Krishna, Lord Rama who gave new meaning and content to the philosophy of living. These Messengers of Peace fought for the common people and were able to rid the society of the evil doers and challenged the very philosophies of people at the helm of affairs during the periods on this earth. In that process these Sons of God had to face opposition. People who mattered suspected these and they had to face trials and tribulations. During the life time Jesus Christ did everything to rid the then society of the evils prevalent and wanted to change the outlook of the people.

Jesus agonized on the cross for us all. We should never forget that He suffered so that we are redeemed of our sins that we as humans do commit. There were quite a disturbances after he gave up his spirit.

Crucification of Jesus Christ gave a new meaning of life to us humans to follow. His ideals and preaching are held dear by us all and will remain so till eternity. May this Day remain etched in our memory as the day of redemption of humanity and He remain a beacon of light for all of us on this earth.
******

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

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KARMA IS OUR TRUE DHARMA

KARMA IS OUR TRUE DHARMA

Karma is our way of performing our task at hand
First by training and synergizing fully our mind
To acquire requisite expertise in the field of activity
Putting all the resources including all our faculties
For a predestined cause chosen with care and caution
Ridding off barriers like egotistic pride with full attention
Dissociating from the motion picture of the past experiences – if probable
Enjoying every act in an objective way
Enjoying the movie of our life of every day
Like an open book
With no doubt brooking.
Concentrating on the deed at hand with full sincerity
Overcoming ifs and buts with piety and purity
Putting ourselves physically; mentally and emotionally
Law of Karma : Action leads to a similar reaction
Good actions leads to good reactions
Bad ones push us to bad results imaginable
Today’s Karma (action) influences tomorrow’s life
Past good / bad karma cannot be wished away easily
For our Creator keeps its record very assiduously
Bhagwad Gita exhorts us to act justly
Caring not for the fruits of that act actually
Every deed ought to be taken as a sacred duty
With singleness and holiness of purpose that it entails
Our Karma ought to be transacted with full Dharma
Respecting all the Natural Laws that befall
Then our Karma becomes our Dharma
Our Karma becomes an active partnership with our Lord.

 

KARMA IS OUR SACRED DHARMA

Karma philosophy stresses the importance of action without giving much credence to the fruits of that action. Karma is action or deed we transact by the use of all the faculties at his/her command. The action we put in depends on our expertise on the subject matter that we have gained over a period of time besides the mindset we establish for ourselves. But one thing cannot be disputed; if we sow thorns we shall get the crop of thorns only it will not yield the crop of fragrant flowers.

Law of karma can be summed up as : Action and reaction is equal and opposite. We are persistently doing our karmas physically, mentally and emotionally. Nothing happens without a set purpose. There is always some reason for every action or reaction that it entails. In other words; it is the law of karma / cause and effect. An individual is responsible for all his / her actions. One suffers or is rewarded according to one’s good or bad actions. Our Creator rewards us for good actions and punishes for the bad actions. Nobody has ever escaped from the karma of his/her action.

Yoga: The word yoga has been originated from the root word ‘yuj’ meaning joining or putting together in order to get something accomplished. Some may also say Yoga as a breath control in order to adopt body postures for discipling our body system as have been enunciated by Patanjali. In Bhagwad Gita Yoga has been used for getting some attainment or skill or to get some expertise for a cause et al. A Yogi is one who is a performer or does something with expert knowledge or skill.

“Yogah Karmasu Kausalam” (Gita 2.50). Kausalam means a special talent, expertise or skill in doing something. So doing things with expertise is Yoga with righteous mindset.

Thus a Karma Yoga is the task in hand which is to be accomplished with singleness of purpose/concentration with a special skill or experise taking into consideration the righteousness and religious finesse with no attachment to the fruits of the action.

In Bhagavad Gita Sri Krishna advises Arjuna to do his duty most sincerely and with expertise and skill he has attained but without expectation of any returns for that activity.

While performing our karma it is necessary that we remain positive in our approach. As karma is based on action and reaction we have to have compassion and should follow the philosophy of forget and forgive. Then there is the need of forgiveness if somebody has done something bad to us.

“Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kada chana. Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani.”
In Bhagwad Gita it has rightly been said: You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of actions. This principle should always be remembered by us.

It means: We should keep on performing our duties without expecting for any reward in return by leading a selfless life.
In Bhagwad Gita Lord Krishan exhorts us to perform our duties sincerely putting our efforts to the best of ability. It is generally accepted now that the main purpose of Bhagavad Gita is to induce people to action without caring for the result of our action. The emphasis is on Karma Yoga as the suitable path for advancement of mankind.

It is necessary that we should know what is Karma Yoga?

Karma has been driven from the root word ‘kru’ meaning to do a deed or to perform or to accomplish an action or perform a task at hand etc. There are two types of karmas viz:
” Nishkama Karma (Action without expectation of results). The first way is called nishkãm karma, when actions are performed without any expectation of material gain, ego, or material desires. Nishkam karmas are performed to fulfill our duties and please. An action to be done singleness of purpose without recourse to any negative trait in order to get that task fructified. Here two things are very relevant. Firstly the action should be performed without consideration to result of that action and also that action should be performed without any recourse to negative trait.

• Sakama Karma (Work done with expectation of results). All the tasks done with an intention for an end result(s). When actions are performed with an expectation of material desire or purpose. According to this proponents the action without a result is no action at all. It may be the work in the office or at home or any religious or irreligious task that has to be done. Even the service to society is for getting some ends/results.

• Karma Yogi. One who performs action without being attached to the fruits of action with pure mindset is a Karam Yogi. Without renouncing the desire for sense gratification or without renouncing the fruits of action one cannot be termed as a Karam Yogi.

Types of Karmas

• Kriyaman Karmas. Karmas which are being done by us every moment presently. The fruits of these karmas can be attained in this life, the next, or after many births.

• Sanchit karma. An accumulation of karmas from one or more past lives. We are either reaping the rewards of the past karmas of our past.

• Prarabdha Karma. It is the past karma that is being experienced by us in this birth. What we are in the form of our physical or mental attributes or what is being experienced now is due to our own past karmas.

Good action produce happiness and bad actions lead to suffering and misery in the present or next life. A person’s past actions determine our present, and our present actions have an effect on our future. It goes to show that everyone is responsible for his/her karma and the reaction thereof. In other words we are the maker of our own destiny.

A person is free to act according to his/her free will and if results too are in consonance with the karma then nobody is held responsible for it all – except the person concerned. It is also a fact that every action of ours is being assiduously screened by our Creator and hence one is responsible for good or bad karmas.

Dharma; The righteous course of action we follow for pursuing our destined goal. This goal may be religious or otherwise. If we perform that Karm by taking into consideration the code of conduct with all inclusive principles of ethical; moralistic; religious; empathy; besides keeping ourselves disciplined in following the commandments. Also; while being karma yogi work as per the natural rules because without following these we cannot be termed as karma yogis. et al lay; compassion; religious discipline; ethical and moral and all the positivities Principles we hold dear for reaching our destined goal. Dharma means ‘that which holds’ without which it is difficult to pull on in life. In other words the methods which we hold dear while doing our duties

Karma which is done with non-violence and without any selfish motive is a real dharma. It is also seen all action done with righteousness and without any shred of ego leads to good results ultimately. This dharma also is a source of eternal bliss and equanimity in our life. Karma which is done like a dharma graces us with  worldly joys and eternal bliss. Performing our karma is akin to dharma bestows us eternal happiness, strength, and tranquility for us and converts our Karmic debit into Karmic credit.

 

 
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Posted by on April 14, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

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