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ON BEING LIKED BY OTHERS

03 May

OUR LIKINGS FOR OTHERS

Still water of stream makes friendship with its banks
Its banks enjoy every gentle kiss of water that daily flows
There is then peaceful coexistence & liking between all
Two banks, surface and above all the flowing water.

But when there is violent-floods, due to torrential rains
Gentle kisses of water thus then changes
Into violent beating giving severe pains
Resulting into bleeding of banks
Poor ground surface too gets bruises
Without its fault, in the process!

Likeable qualities dawn with our internal churning
In the way, impure thoughts we remain shunning
And imbibing likeable transcendental qualities so beneficial
And make this a life’s mission so crucial.

ON BEING LIKED BY OTHERS

It is the loving aspiration of every human being to be liked by others but for this to happen in real sense, one has to imbue oneself in such traits which have magnetic pull. This change has to come about not in outer appearance but reflected from within ourselves – all because things which are coming from our heart are never negatively oriented. Doubtlessly, positive orientations have charm of their own. In our day to day life, if we care to know about spiritually awakened personages like Guru Nanak Dev, Lord Budha, Mother Taresa, Mohtama Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, Sri Vivekananda, Sri Ramakrishna amongst so many others who had magnetic pull in them that even their adversaries, if any, hated to hate them! They had their inner potentials flowing from their beings. Outer appearance hardly made any dent on their charisma. Can we possess a modicum of likeable qualities, yes, we can (may be we cannot be like them) but we can at least tread the path shown to us and make ourselves sublime. May be, we should, at least try.

We are the makers of our destiny is an undisputed reality. We can make or unmake ourselves. In the same way, we are also responsible for being liked or disliked by others – be it in our family, workplace or in formal or informal institutions. We shape our character ourselves thus making ourselves likeable or dislikeable with our action and reaction thereof. There are some people who are of the view that God is accountable for our bad tendencies but I slightly differ. Some of our worst tendencies may be due to our previous Karma but these could be rectified through disciplined self effort. When gold is hammered, then only, it is transformed into glittering and priceless ornaments. We also think that our bad qualities are due to the environment in which we are brought up. But we should not forget the growth of a Lotus plant which gives charming flowers while being in mud / slush and these lotus flowers are offered at the Lotus Feet of Lord Vishnu as a mark of immense reverence! We should, therefore, never think about our lowly births or not born with silver spoon in our mouth, etc. These are petty considerations. It should never be forgotten that material prosperity is a momentary phenomenon. Alexander the Great is the best example for this. What remains eternal is good deeds– even after death. Our actions coupled with the grace of God make huge difference.

Nothing in the universe is accidental. As Qur’an tells us: “… He doth regulate all affairs, explaining the signs in detail,…” (AL-RAD 2).

In another verse: “… Not a leaf doth fall but with His knowledge:…” (AL-ANAAM, 59).

We face multifarious challenges in our lives. These challenges bestow us opportunities as to how we should face these and realize our potentials besides learning varied lessons for future use. Reincarnation affects of present behavior too are important pointers to our current behaviour. Law of Karma determines our present state even our reincarnation is dependent on the past deeds or misdeeds.

There was the true Light which, coming into the world, enlightens every man (John 1:9)

By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God; (John 4:2) proves our contention on reincarnation and its affects.

ATTRACTIVENESS COMES FROM WITHIN

It has rightly been said; outer appearance is deceptive. Wrong actions are reflected in our facial expressions/demeanor. How hard we may endeavour to hide this, it cannot totally be hidden. One who is internally chaste attracts more of people around him/her. Just happy for a moment and sad the other moment will also not attract people towards us. Our good or bad qualities besides our adjustment with the environment and the people around too determine our likeableness or otherwise.

OUR GOOD BEHAVIOUR HAS A MAGNETIC PULL

Every individual is unique creation of our Creator – meaning every individual is having exclusive trait which others of his/her ilk does not possess. We have to experience this and imbibe this unique quality from that person ourselves. For this, co-operative attitude is needed. Also, how we conduct ourselves determines our relationship with the people around. If we are interested in the interests of others then they would likewise be interested in our interests. Absent mindedness or being disinterested solves nothing and attracts nothing. Raw earth containing too little or too much of water will not help making earthen pots! Right proportion of water and earth is needed for this. In the similar way, right attitude and sincerity (which is soul quality) are the principles on which our attractiveness toward others stands. Humbleness will pay in the long run really. I have found this in my life at least.

Bhagwad Gita enunciates in Chapter 16, about the good behavior as:
Fearlessness, purification of one’s existence, cultivation of spiritual knowledge, charity, self-control, performance of sacrifice, study of the Vedas, austerity and simplicity; nonviolence, truthfulness, freedom from anger; renunciation, tranquility……………..freedom from covetousness; gentleness, modesty and steady determination; vigor, forgiveness, fortitude, cleanliness, freedom from envy and the passion for honor–these transcendental qualities which a person should possess in make him/her likeable by others.

It is, therefore, necessary that we should charm others with our inner strength in order to attract others. We should have internal magnetism to attract others. Self-centredness hardly is answer to this. Being compassionate towards others first too attracts others towards us. Wonderful feelings create wonderful atmosphere around us an aura of goodness – just soothing and peaceful feel. Kindness generates kindness from our Lord. Also, a wonderful feeling emanates from our inner being when we act with kindness with others.

‘Be kind to each other, sympathetic, forgiving each other as God has forgiven you through Christ.’

OUR THOUGHTFUL ATTITUDE

Thoughtful attitude brings in its wake reward from our Creator. Even if we lose much for following this path yet we should not leave this parth of righteousness. It is because while following this path, we have to come across some pitfalls. We have to surmount these and keep our journey ahead. Right behavior and attitude are the best qualities which make us likeable. It is best that in speech and action we show calmness and patience. If any truth has to be spoken, it should be done tactfully which do not puncture others’ self esteem. While dealing with others, it is paramount that we do not show our shallowness but broad mindedness. Even when a truth has to be spoken, it has to be spoken with calmness and composture. No excited demeanour. That makes difference.

SEEKING GOD

Many a times, we face opposition from our own people. A time comes when one feels totally isolated which may lead to frustration and losing confidence in one’s life. This happens. Then only our dearest God is the One on which we can bank on. There is no alternative but to seek Him at that moment. Doubts about His existence will generate the feeling of more doubts about our own existence. When His grace is there, we need not fear anything, no doubt can engulf us, no enigmas of our existence can overpower us, in other words, there is nothing which can impact our being in the forward march of our journey of life.

We should always be thankful to our CREATOR for everything that He has given us and for future too that He will surely bestow us but we have to keep our intentions pure and honest. Just above board. His ineffable bliss will prevail in us always and that is the fortune which cannot be bargained for anything in this world and beyond.

When we seek God with fullest sincerity, He will surely connect with us and provide answers to our vexing problems. In the similar vein, we shall be open to others’ needs and thus liked by the people we come across in our day to day activities. AMEN

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12 Comments

Posted by on May 3, 2014 in Inner Thoughts

 

12 responses to “ON BEING LIKED BY OTHERS

  1. Priya Mohan Sud

    May 3, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    Sir—The most beautiful and the excellent views—-

     
    • Harbans

      May 4, 2014 at 5:32 am

      Thanks a lot for appraising the writeup and offering your most inspiring comments.

      Thanks and regards

       
    • Harbans

      May 17, 2014 at 11:45 am

      Thanks a lot.

       
  2. Shakti Ghosal

    May 6, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Hi Harbans,

    That was a powerful verse. What provoked a new array of thoughts in me were these lines:

    “Likeable qualities dawn with our internal churning
    In the way, impure thoughts we remain shunning.”

    Would this imply that we need to maintain a facade of ‘likeability’ outside even when we carry contrary thoughts inside? Would that not make us inauthentic? Would that not stop us from further development?

    Shakti

     
    • Harbans

      May 6, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      Fist of all thanks a lot for your comments. The lines are really outstanding.

      When one is donning the facade of likeableness the same could be found after sometime. Reality just comes out. Our innate thoughts are the only ones which make a lasting impression. Lasting one because these are the potential strengths.

      A truth is a truth which could be experienced any time anywhere.

      Thanks and regards

       
    • Harbans

      May 7, 2014 at 3:46 am

      Thanks for your most appropriate comment.

      Mere facade of likeableness will not help. Our real self should come forth and play its part then only liking will emanate from our inner being.

       
  3. Lana: Living with Post Concussion Syndrome

    May 7, 2014 at 12:31 am

    This is such a truth. As humans, we want to be liked and even accepted to some degree. The ends that some will go through to do so such has changing who they are or pretending to be someone else.

     
    • Harbans

      May 7, 2014 at 3:45 am

      It is a truthful. Everyone would like to be liked by others. But for this to happen in true sense, we have to peel off the facade of liking but come out from our innate true self. Just showing likeableness will hardly make difference. It is the inner purity which counts. Pretending has not ever solved by problem. It has actually made the problem more complex.

       
      • Lana: Living with Post Concussion Syndrome

        May 7, 2014 at 4:15 am

        Very true. I never understand those that pretend.

         
      • Harbans

        May 7, 2014 at 1:01 pm

        Those who pretend
        Hide their intend
        Behind the iron curtain
        Of untruths
        And falsehood.

         
      • Lana: Living with Post Concussion Syndrome

        May 7, 2014 at 2:52 pm

        Yes, they do

         
      • Harbans

        May 7, 2014 at 4:06 pm

        The best way to deal with pretenders either to lift their veils or facade and expose them
        OR
        Just to forget these pretenders just like a bad dream and be with it all. They need not come in our way in any way.
        Such people should not exist at all.

         
 
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