SELF CRITICISM FOR OUR GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT

 

SELF CRITICISM

 

God’s creations are really unique

Some are the powerhouses of knowledge

While others having the just ordinary origin

With their self critical & analytical mindset

And self introspection with sincerity

Know their weaknesses and strengths aplenty

Try getting rid of their weaknesses

With self will and inner prowess

They invented things

Thus changing the lives of humans

Amongst them is Newton

The celebrated master in physics

Chemistry and astronomy – so to say

But being the son of a simple farmer!

Graham Bell the inventor of telephone

Which changed the concept of connectivity

Which today we all flaunt with pride

While Konrad Zuse invented first computer

Which could be programmed

Thomas Savery invented the steam engine

Camera by celebrated Joseph Nicephse

Sewing machine by a French – simple tailor!

But those who fret and fume at criticism

Just fail to make perceptible mark in life

And end up incognito

Such is the name of the game called self criticism.

 

 SELF CRITICISM FOR OUR GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT

More often than not whenever somebody criticises us on something or points a finger at us; we itch for paying that individual back in the same coin or may be with more ferocity and try twist somebody’s arm of that individual. It goes to show that we tend to be very touchy and think ourselves holy cow as far as our criticism is concerned.

We are aware that humans are endowed with the unique trait of differentiation. But sometimes this characteristic is not used judiciously partly due to excessive ego or entrapped / enslaved by some psychological deformities or habits like intoxicants or lust which is not easy to be ridden easily. It is through self criticism /self introspection spelling out our weak and strength dispassionately that we can get rid of these weaknesses. Here inner power will make it possible to eradicate these evils.

Self Criticism and Self Realization

Mental and physical abnormalities could be cured through self realization through self appraisal/self analysis and then attack bad characteristics which are slowly but surely eating the vitals of our body and soul besides these defects are playing havoc with our happiness and further march in spiritual life. The psychological deformities could only be cured through inner strength which could be cultivated by leading a worthwhile life bereft of negative trait like greed; anger; covetousness; deceit; etc and that is meaningfully attained through self realization. Spirituality is the answer to all the drawbacks that an individual is having. Will power is the cosmic energizer in true sense of terms. This cosmic energy is not acquired from the physical body but from the invisible source (our God). The true nature of our ‘self’ is attained if there is coordination between body and spirit. And this all could be attained if we know SELF fully. This self could be made purified by taking in all the bitter pills of criticisms from ourselves; from others with an intention that those who ctiticise us are not our enemies but our well wishers. Also those who gloss over/ignore our weaknesses are our enemies.

It should always be kept in kind that we always learn from criticism and not from appreciation. Sometimes self confession too serves the purpose. This sincere confession of a fault-line / drawback at the Altar gives a spiritual twist.

A person afflicted with self destructive bad tendencies hallow us from within us consequently sapping our inner energy in the process. Now at this critical juncture what is the solution which offers us the way out. It is merely self criticism that is to point out things or single out things which are taking us to self destructive course every second. We have to attack our own beliefs; thoughts; behaviour; actions and deeds; actions and reactions thereof; etc.

All sorts of learning could be meaningful only if we use that learning in the day to day life. A knowledge which has no applicability is no knowledge at all. If somebody points out our fault; then we should take it as a healthy criticism. Criticism may seem unwholesome initially but it has wholesome results ultimately. Subjecting the gold into fire intensively results in removing the last shred of impurity from it. It could be termed as baptized by fire. It is just like taking a bitter pill for removing the dormant disease in our body. Following a percept at hand with critical thought makes it possible for us to chaff out the ill-conceived thoughts and fill the empty portion with healthy and wholesome thoughts; which are better both for individual concerned and the people around him.

An organisation which critically appraises the status of the project at hand and tightens up the nuts and bolts loosened during the interim period that are found out could improve the chances of its success. Similarly a Government which makes mid-term appraisal of plan at hand for its execution and sees what steps are required to improve upon the performance meets with success ultimately. Policy paralysis with no control results in complete breakdown of the country. Even now there are some countries who encourage self-criticism for giving overall health/fillip of the country concerned country.

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WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR; WHAT DO YOU FEEL?

Best Answer

• Harbans answered 2 years ago

•  

 

When I see my reflection in the mirror, I feel confident that I can face this world at large. My reflection stares back at me in the mood I am presently. My image in the mirror is replica of me – no more or no less. It gives me confidence to interact with others without being even a little eccentric.*

*The image that is reflected on the face  is indicative of the state I am presently. It proves the dictum: Face is the index of mind – meaning all our thought percepts can be meaningfully be found out/read from our face itself. There are people who can just hide their inner thinking but those who are endowed with reading the facial expressions can decipher the inner conflicts that are going on. Whenever there is conflict internally then it could be shown on the face.

Those who maintain an equanimity in good or bad times know how to keep their facial expressions just cool. These people cool their burning inner being with the cool big SMILE.

 

 

FOCUSED MIND MEANS TOTAL SURRENDERING TO THE GOAL AT HAND

 

FOCUSED MIND

Our past actions keep us haunted

Making us glued to incidents – unforgotten

That we came across

Or events just happened perchance

And are treacherously sticking with our conscience

Thus focusing has become a knotty one

We’ve to wriggle out of this Gordon-knot

Cleanse ourselves of the uncertainty that prevails

So that the writ of our mind runs

And is fully charged with doses of self beliefs

When our goal is set with precision

Bereft of all sorts of confusion

Infusing a strong bouts of vision and motivation

Consequently putting more steam into action

Steadying the wobbling wheel of progress on traction

Focus helps enhance self belief and confidence

Thus inner-fire is ignited for more deliverance

Focus takes centre stage

Get to the root of stumbling blocks

And fought over with self-trusting

Then ultimate success will be ours for asking

Total focus on goal means total surrendering

Amazing things do happen with focused mind

It could give fillip to our spiritual march

And connectivity with God will become a stark reality

Thus bestowing our life with sublimity

And eternal happiness completely.

HARBANS KHAJURIA

 

FOCUSED MIND  MEANS TOTAL SURRENDERING TO THE GOAL AT HAND

It is experienced that we are not able to focus on the task at hand simply because of our mental restlessness. This restlessness is due to our pre-occupation with past unpleasant innuendos/incidents which are difficult to erase from our memories due to one reason or other. Or we may let our conscious mind wander in our own cocoon of thoughts and not let reason or rational thinking to play its part on these pre-conceived thoughts; which have made its residency in our system. At times, we resort to unreasonable wandering in our own sub-conscious plane and in the process become a psychological wreck. These psychological extremes could be in the form of unending anger, lust, gambling, jealousy, hate, greed, etc. adversely impacting peace and tranquility in our life.

How to eliminate or get rid of these past external impression(s) which are playing havoc in our day to day lives? This could conveniently be done by tuning our consciousness inward and shutting the inflow / door of external impressions  which have impacted our consciousness. Just locking inwards till the storm blows over is the answer.

In CHAPTER 12 of Bhagvad Gita the importance of focused mind has been mentioned)

One who by fixing his mind (Focusing) on ME steadfast in is extremely merged in me. I consider him the me always worships me and have supreme faith in me most devoted to me.

While we become a wanderer in our thoughts, we just lose focus and are not able to concentrate on the activity/task at hand. A person who just buries the ill-conceived baggage of unreasonable incidents can formulate new strategies to focus on task and tackle coming events with finesse.

Focus is necessary for:-

Total Focus for Finding God

It is said, God listens to our prayers when we pray Him with all our focus at our command. For this to happen, we have to put a strong lock on our conscious mind lest the senses distract us from our focus. When we remove the distractions with will and firm determination then all the waywardness that exists will not have any affect thus making our path to our Lord a pleasant and smooth journey. Mechanical prayers or a prayer bereft of focus, to please ourselves that we are also praying will have no meaning results. We have to fight out the ill-conceived tendencies which retard our forward march. It may take sometimes to focus on Him yet gradually we can focus totally. All the sense pleasing objects/undesirable traits could be flooded out from our system by His Forceful Tide – the Tide of His Love. His Light can drive out all the pich darkness. If we go all out in our convictions coupled with all the power of our soul after God then sure enough We have
to concentrate on the divine consciousness which is acquired by focusing fully just in total harmony with God. He would be ours for asking. If He is not answering us, means fault lies with us and not with Him. He is ever ready to reciprocate but we require focusing on Him. That is all! Nothing else.

Creativity & Focused mindset

If we want to create something in our life, we require focusing on the task at hand. Indifferent mindset means uncertain results. The scientists require focusing on the experiment at hand to reach to a firm conclusion. The teacher requires focusing on his/her target students to make them interested in studies through innovative and motivational methods of teaching.  Just ordinary thinking will hardly make much difference.

Beating the fear of Distractions and consequent Happiness

While we focus on the subject in hand, we remain connected with the subject matter. Our total attention is to brainstorm the subject matter and break it in simpler parts in order to tackle each one with the focal point of our total focus. Stillness of our wandering thoughts could be ensured by focus only for a optimum results. As a consequence of focus we could get better results in the form of tranquility even in stressful situations thus our happiness quotient will also increase.

While we are at it, we may encounter numerous distractions like:

1.    Thought about what others may think if our sincere efforts do not succeed.

2.    Difficulty in fighting the enemy within us in the form of procrastination / laziness etc.

3.    How to traverse on a path where you have not put your foot even? In other words deficiency of SELF BELIEF.

It should never be forgotten that we have got a huge reservoir of potential energy. If that energy is taped, we can have sufficient self belief relieving us of internal contradictions. This will also pave way for eternal happiness all the way.

 

I never thought my wife doing this, i feel help less, am I wrong? Should I keep more tracking on my wife?

 

Hi,

I posted my another question may be 2 yrs back (u may see that), she had a chat frnd younger to her, she shared her pic and lied to me, but things sattled then after. But for last few months i seen some no calling her and that number is not save list, i tried to find things again. I found they are still talking over phone, To find that one day i went to my frnds home in office hour (He was at his office and gave keys to me), which is adjacent to our house and our room can be seen. I saw she talking on phone for 30-40 min. Then she went for bath, she came out and immediately answered her phone, then she talked another 20-30 min while dressing(I seen the same number in her mobile during that time. Then while talking she starts her laptop and then dropped the phone n doing something on laptop. After 2 days i did the same and seen the same thing. This time i had a binocular, i seen she chatting on laptop. I seen both of them on cam too.

Then I planned (while my friend was out for tour) for 1 night and i said i will be with my frnds for drinks. I went out at 8 and I intentionally kept my cam on with my one ID Kept the laptop hidden place, where she won’t understand) and given full access to my another ID. I went to my frnd home and logged in from there and started seeing on home webcam, upto 10 all was normal. but after that she came to our room and called from her mobile. then she called me, we talked for 10 min or so. After our call she again initiated a call and talked around 10-15 min, then she loged into her ID while talking, then i seen her chattting and then they started there webcam. then after about an hour she got up from chair and came back wearing an very appealing dress. I noticed the boy was also not wearing the earlier dress.

I had no words after that, i m maintaining a healthy relation after tht incident too. As i really don’t know what to do. I really want to know how to handle this? Should I keep more tracking on my wife?

Best Answer

• Harbans answered 2 years ago

A relationship to be maintained and kept intact requires consideration from all sides. Both wife and husband should not have any lurking feeling for each other. They should live a life of accommodation of each others’ viewpoints. And when something untoward nags the other party then it should not be swept under the carpet. Doubt creates more doubts and ultimately takes away the peace of mind. This type of life becomes dull and monotonous leading to make life a virtual hell. A pragmatic approach by each spouse for respecting the others view and live a life pure of mind and heart.

A life has to be lived and a healthy relationship between husband and wife is a must. A patient talk with your wife is called for. Sort out the differences lest a situation is created where your life becomes
rather more complex. The sooner you do it the better for you and your wife. But be very considerate about what transpired in the past. Start with a clean slate your life with your wife. Stalking your wife is not the answer to your nagging predicament.

Just be clear about what you should do. Life is to live out and live out peacefully. Just tell your wife also. She will realize her fault and mend her ways. Just do not present all the proof you have gathered. Just passing, say that you are in the know of all the things but want to live peacefully with trust as your principle.*

*LET BY GONE BE BYGONES SHOULD BE THE GUIDING PRINCIPLE

 

CONSCIOUSNESS – MINDFULNESS IN OUR ACTIONS AND DEEDS

CONSCIOUSNESS

Whilst consciousness means
Being aware of everything
That thy think of doing
Which is laced in much ego
Because it is biased towards ‘I’
The doer of everything possessed
An awareness just gone awry
Impure in its tone & tenor.

In this state of self awareness
And what we do or do not do
We are responsible for this all
Because our mind is also associated
With everything that we transacted
This consciousness could meaningfully be altered
With sincere and one pointed meditation
And imbuing it all with spiritualization
Consequently changing tainted consciousness
Into pure consciousness
Of highest order
Bringing into its sacred fold our Creator
Thus infusing His life force/energy.

HARBANS KHAJURIA

CONSIOUSNESS – MINDFULNESS IN OUR ACTIONS AND DEEDS

Bhagvad Geeta has rightly said:

Muktir hitvanyatha rupam svarupena vyavasthitih [SB 2.10.6]. Svarupena vyavasthitih.

Liberation from the impure consciousness of this material world and to become situated in pure consciousness.

Consciousness is more loaded towards “I am.” Meaning it is biased towards ego and while it is so the individual’s consciousness is polluted/impure. Meaning ‘whatever I possess is due to me’. There is a psychological tinge in all this because one who thinks himself as ‘creator’ seemingly is psychic.

John Locke defined consciousness as “the perception of what passes in a man’s own mind”

We are conscious (mindful/awake/aware) whenever we do any function assigned to us. In this kind of self-awareness, whatever we transact, we are ourselves responsible/accountable. In other words, we have to face the music of our deeds or misdeeds. It is a deliberate effort with concomitant results the individual concerned have to be ready for. No escape route could be there; excuses like circumstances were such that an acted /not act in a manner required or being pressured by somebody to act that way or mind acted otherwise. All these petty excuses will hardly cut any ice since the individual concerned has acted with full awareness.

Consciousness is the state of mindfulness. It means our mind (with all its senses) participated in the act committed with full awareness that he/she will have to withstand the results of it all – with full control over self while performing that act.

There are times when we act in anger or in haste or in disgust or situation warranted such act then can we escape from the consequences of our action. Certainly not? Now question arises can this consciousness be quantified or can this be altered as situation demands. Or is this a mechanical process for our action or inaction. But consciousness cannot be without the participation of mind and body.

Bhagavad Gita stresses the importance of purification of consciousness.
Purified consciousness is to act according to the direction of our Creator. With purified consciousness we can imbibe all the positive qualities after having discarded all the negative ones like anger; greed; covetousness etc.

It has been experienced that we can alter/transform our self-wareness/consciousness through meditations. Right attitude and sincere efforts are the important pre-requisites of deriving optimum results from meditations. It has also been seen that we can rein in /restrain our mind by focusing on concentrated prayers. When our mind, with its five senses, work in tandem then our consciousness/awareness too gets huge fillip. Controlled mind means working of mind and body as a cohesive unit – having gradual shift awareness. Here transformation is such that which can differentiate between right and wrong. Working on the dictates of our moral high ground – according to our conscience. An act in which our inner self is also a party. An act in which there is association of heart and mind. Whenever there is symmetry between the two, the act performed cannot be unethical. When head and heart are combined in our thought percepts then the results are also positive.

Our consciousness is divided into three parts. Conscious; semi-conscious and non-conscious; which perform different functions for us.

Emotions, attitude, decisions, or thoughts in the widest sense undergo change from one stage of our life to another.

Life force or energy flows in our body through various channels at seven major points – from the bottom of our spine to the top of our head. Moving from spine upwards thus increasing the level up of consciousness which is a journey of spirit. These are termed as CHAKRAS. The movement from base chakra to another is a spiritual journey depending upon the awareness level. The seven chakras are given as under:-
1. Base Chakra. It is at the base of the spine. It is represented by blood red. Its aura could be observed by somebody with vision. Its function is to ensure basic survival of our body like breathing; hunger and thirst besides taking care of its basic needs. It is at this chakra point from where initial step in awareness starts but this awareness is merely a starting point – early childhood period. The child does know about his past and future.

2. Second Chakra. It is located around the genital area and controls our sexuality and emotions. The colour changes from red to orange. Our gut reactions like fear; anger; joy etc are controlled here. At this stage an individual child is aware that he is separate from its environs. Ego starts functioning and creates images what the world is like. Likes and dislikes besides learning of language etc are done and children start asserting themselves. Parents are the centre of attraction and especially mother takes control over the life of the child.
3. Third Chakra. It is coloured yellow and is centred in solar plexus – around the stomach. This starts at the age of six. This portion provides opportunity for higher mental growth/abilities. It is the stage when thoughts and ideas take birth besides imagining things and also start building a self awareness. The child starts recognizing others of his relatives and also language skills are also learnt thus improving it further.

4. Fourth Chakra. It is also called heart chakra. Its colour is green. This portion controls the logical thinking and also solve problem. Here the child starts to have its own identity. It is the beginning of adulthood.

5. Fifth Chakra. Fifth chakra is located at the base of the throat. Its colour is blue. Here the dormant energy gets activated still more. At this stage the individuals are known for their fairplay and justice besides taking responsibility for their action or inaction. Also the communication technology is the buzz word at this stage.

6. Sixth Chakra. This chakra is between the two eye brows and its colour is indigo. Here the individual aspires for more progress while establishing harmony with universe/nature.

7. Seventh Chakra. It is situation at the crown of head with violet colour. It has the potential of increased energy than the other chakras. Here the harmony is established between the dualities of humans behavior and nature. There are personages who have even gone beyond 7th chakra.

 

Why do my father always yell to get a point across. Why can’t he talk like a normal human being?

My father always yells to get a point across, what’s wrong with him, decides being crazy. Why can’t he talk like a normal human being?

Best Answer Asker’s Choice

• Harbans Lal answered 3 years ago

First of all, different people have different ways of conveying their feeling or the point they want to make. Sometimes it so happens that the people do not come round to their viewpoint. They then talk loudly so that they could be better understood. It hardly means these sort of people are abnormal human beings. It can be that their points are not easily understood or not taken seriously by others. “

 

“Some people are unable to convey their points of view vividly despite their best efforts. When a limit crosses and it becomes difficult to do so then they get exasperated and consequently losing themselves thereafter. Although this behavior is not good yet the children also should understand their intention too. No parent wants their ward to be lead astray except for some insane psy oriented people. Therefore the children too should not take ‘loud’ demeanor as abnormal behavior. Or else; you will have to take total control of yourself if you have acquired adequate qualifications etc i.e. you have to be a KARAM YOGI and get out of all this.

Source:

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Asker’s Rating & Comment

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My father is a monster, not human at all. Yell all the time. He is quick to anger, no human can deal with this monster.

 

 

EVIL & ITS LIMIT

EVILS & ITS LIMIT

 

What is the limit of the evil that humans can take recourse to. As things stand an evil doer just does not desist following this obnoxious course – just infinitum! The way the people are following this course now-a- days goes to prove that. Take for example the rape and murder cases of hapless girls in Badaun Village in UP state in the recent past and the response of the authorities that be – also not less criminal. And what about the criminal neglect on the part of the law enforcement agencies to hand out justice to the criminals? Just cruel – nothing else. Where has our conscience gone and whereto we are heading to?

Evil doer transforms and graduates to be a hardened criminal from petty crime. This chain of crimes just goes unhindered. That person gets a sinister satisfaction when he gives pains to others. His goal in life is to inflict pain to others by all means. In this he adopts any strategy that is possible to garner false satisfaction. His evil design goads him to go to any limit for he does not have total control over his senses and his evil acts just goes on. Such person(s) should actually be identified and punishment meted to him/them commensurate with the criminal act(s) perpetrated.

Inspite of being scorned the person concerned ought to be pitied and if possible should be coaxed and forced so that he adopts and follows correct path.

We have the example of Sant Valmiki – the writer of Ramayana who was a wicked robber – with no pity for pity for his victims. While robbing one of his victims; a man of wisdom himself; the person in question asked him two questions:

1. For whom do you commit this henious crimes?
2. Will your family members share the consequence part of the crime you commit or have committed till date?

He was very curious to know the answer from his wife. He immediately went to his home and asked his wife the two questions. She replied pointblank that to support her and his familial life was the responsibility of Valmiki as such he was himself liable to suffer the pangs of his unethical acts of omissions and commissions. If he commits thievery or robs from others to support the family it was his bad karma not their!

Hearing these answers he felt dismayed and went straight to the person concerned. Valmiki prayed him for redeeming him from the predicament/critical situation. The saint anyhow wanted to get rid of this man and told to chant maran maran….thinking that it will not be easy for criminal to concentrate on God. Straight away Valmiki started chanting these MARAN MARAN……and the mantra straightened into RAM..RAM…RAM after repeated chants and thus surrendered himself to LORD RAMA. By doing so he transformed himself to be the lovable Shri Rama’s Bhakata and then authored Ramayana which is his gift to us all! It goes to show how a wicked person could transform into pious one if intention springs from heart.

Demon King Ravana was one of the most popular Lord Shiva’s Bhakta besides being known for his mastery in Vedas. Despite all the good qualities he was possessing; Ravana had his dark side too which was amply made clear many a times. Firstly he antagonized Lord Shiva by asking for Golden Lanka (which He had got constructed for His family’s habitation) and had received boons for increasing his prowess. He wanted to be immortal and wanted to increase the powers of his demon race. He did everything to subjugate other kings and in the process his wickedness went from bad to worst so much so that he abducted Maan Sitajee! That was the saturation point of the wickedness. The battle that followed is known to us all. In this battle wicked king Ravana along with his brothers and others too lost their lives.

The wickedness of Dharyodana in Mahabharta is also a stark reality. To what limit/degree our wickedness and greed can go on is amply made clear in Mahabharta. When the evil reached its zenith there was a battle between the armies of Kauravas and Pandavas in which all the hundred sons of Dhrithrashtra met their end and also the evil with them. It also goes to show that when evil is heightened to its maximum limits God incarnates. Here Lord Krishna (incarnate of Lord Vishnu) sided with Pandavas and established truth.

Even now also there are the people who excel in evil and they take pride in following this path. In order to get their desires fructified these Adharmi perform inhuman act and could go to any length. Their evil designs do not end but take an upward movement and in the process many people get victimized for no fault of theirs.

Evils Design

 

Limitless are the acts of criminals

They graduate from petty crimes

It’s not merely their conscious mind

Their inner self is too coloured dark; we find

Their daily record of greed

Goes upwards

For name and fame

Status and attachment

Can go to any limit

God deliver us from criminal designs

From our midst so that Thy rule is held supreme.

 

HARBANS KHAJURIA