Habits of our mind deliver immensely,

When we’re holding its strings tightly,

It fully obeys our commands,

And helps tide over diverse situations,

Or else, in the dire strait we’ll find ourselves,

Then it becomes our notorious master,

And behaves like a wild dog,

Dogging our path,

Thus retarding our march ahead,

From where no return would be in sight.


If our senses, so important, are not controlled,

And left unbridled

Becomes the cause of negative habits of our mind

And gives us depleted self esteem,

A stumbling block in our self realization,

Thus erecting a wall for getting our sixth-sense – intuition.

Our intuition is in sync with innate demands,

A welcome sign for us, all around,

Ought to train habits of mind,

With heavy dose of perseverance, at times.

If our mind goes berserk,

Then Creator becomes our savior!

He bestows us all graces,

And His graces are panacea,

For all the deficiencies,

And helps humans for deliverance.


Whatever is done without faith—whether it is sacrifice, charity, auster­ity, or any other act—is useless. It has no value here or hereafter, O Arjuna. (17.28)




It is customary that whenever we repeat something a number of times, it becomes our habit. It may be good or a bad habit. The more focused our attention, the more enduring the effect but it ought to be without fear about the results. This habit of ours may be for doing our routine / day to day jobs or our spiritual journey. focused mind predetermines results.


When theYogi disciplines his mental activities, when his subdued mind is fixed on the self, free from all desires, then the person is said to be achiever of yoga. (Chapter 10)


In great epic Mahabharata, Guru Drona’s pupils were  Pandavas and Kaurava brothers besides his own son named Ashwattthama. All learned the use of different weapons from him. Arjuna became the most favourite and immutable disciple due to his undivided and unwavering focus on the assigned target while using bow and arrow. When other pupils complained to Guru Drona why he (Guru Drona) always appreciated Arjuna to which he, without mincing any word interjected that he will give its proof at an appropriate time.


One day, he took all his pupils to a jungle, placed a toy bird at the vantage point on the tree,  and told each of his pupils to pierce the eye of the toy bird. None but Arjuna could do so. Even his own son Ashwatthama failed. Such was the focus of attention of Arjuna.


In second instance, Drona showcased why Arjuna was the favourite student when he used crocodile as a ruse to test all his pupils. None but Arjuna could rise to the occasion because of severity of focus and perfection of his initiative coupled with intense intuitive power.


Now, having said that, we have to understand the meaning of habits of our mind and how it works including intuitive power of an individual. We are our own masters. On the other hand, if we take life as a challenge and face the same with equanimity then we remain happy despite failures.


If experience is any guide, failures should be construed as wake up calls. Sri Ramakrishna Parmahansa had rightly asserted: When worrying becomes our habit we remain unhappy. There are the people who get bogged down by a slightest failure while they’re executing a plan of action. These people remain doubtful. Ups and downs should be taken as challenges and ought to be tackled as such. An unflagging persistence should be the buzz word in order to train our mind and its senses. Losing focus means, half the battle is lost before starting it. This is true in all the spheres of our activities, be it office or at home. This is also true in our forward march in spirituality.


Spirituality to be beneficial for us, it is essential that we understand it threadbare meaning of spirituality etc. Spirituality has been derived from the Latin word ‘spiritus’ meaning ‘soul, vigour, breath’ and cannot be dissociated from word ‘spirit’.  It goes to show that there exists a solid relationship between our Karma (action) and the persistence (spirit, force with which we do our karmic deeds). When we aspire for personal transformation based on religious ideal  karmic deeds or subjective experiences for emotional maturity  for our  total  personal involvement.  This could help us in anticipating the accuracy of our action – through mental calculations, adding the finer points and eliminating the ones which may prove counterproductive/impediments.  


Arjun-like burning desire to fulfill chosen target(s) could be attained only when all our faculties perform to the optimum for a assigned task. In that, consciously calm disposition, control over our emotions could come into play only by reining in our senses. In such scenario, our intuitive (sixth sense) will play an active role in our forward movement for the attainment of our goal. Here it would be pertinent to mention the difference between experience that we perceive daily (gross) and the world that has subtle perceptive ability or unseen one or it could be termed as spiritual experiences. Here, we have the slight inkling about the cause and effect of the things to come about. For instance, if we have the fragrance of a flower without a flower near us. This could be the result of perceiving through sixth sense.  


We can make use of this sixth sense by perceiving others’ needs, others point of views, mindset of others by working with them thus knowing their aspirations etc and thus exploring ways and means to provide succor to them. Interdependency in thoughts in getting things done will help to tide over the situation easily. This will help in two ways, firstly, multiple opinions when put to use eliminate the chances of failure, second, if a job is done single handedly, there are chances of getting stressed while meeting emergencies; may be with diminishing returns in accomplishment.


It should never be forgotten that we should take pride in learning new things from others. Even the innocent smile of a baby at us even while being in the custody of her mother should be a lesson for us. Secondly, being human, we are prone to make mistakes. Accepting our mistakes and make amends and proceed further is the best course in human relationship and self learning process.


 Following should always be kept in mind while pursuing our tasks:-


From the above it is essential that we ought to train our mind to have positive habits, eliminate those which prove to be roadblock for our further movement. On the way to the finishing line, whenever we get some success, we should celebrate it and if we get failure try another time, one more time till success is achieved but with full focus at our command. We should always be thankful to our Ishwar/Allaha/Lord and also everybody who come in contact with us and help us reach our goalpost. It should also be remembered that ingratitude to nature, parents, teachers, older members of the society or to anybody is a sign of ignorance. That is the finer point of the HABITS OF OUR MIND.




What are the causes for memory loss ?


Does too much computer usage and online chatting help to reduce memory ?

Best Answer

Harbans   answered 3 years ago
Anything done excessively is bad for our system. But use of computers is not the only reason for memory loss/reduction. Excessive use of computer for chatting excessively and relying more on computers rather than  through practical experiences affects our memory.  For example, we do not memorize spellings of difficult words thinking that we shall find those online. Exercise your senses, so that these are trained to act in a manner which are not harmful for our body. Try memorizing things, make it a daily habit to use your memory. Anything left unattended reduces its sheen and memory is no different. Never ever think that you have memory loss because what you think just happens. If you think excessively that you have memory impairment then sure slowly but surely you will lose in the process that which you possess.  On the other hand, just live with moderate habits; in eating, in lifestyle etc. Give auto suggestions to your mind that you are gaining memory and see the difference.  *

* Memory loss is also due to the following factors:-
Intake of drug usage for example anti-depressants, sleeping pills etc. Then alcoholism including smoking which reduces the quality and quantity of Oxygen to brain thus impairing our memory.
More often than not, we do not concentrate and want anything or everything just in hurry without thinking about result of our hurried actions. 

It has been rightly said that what we eat we become. If we take diet poor in nutrition and protein then it will certainly affect our body functionally   including our memory.
Then when we are stressed due to one reason or another due to one reason or another, occasionally, we get less sleep which too adversely affects our memory.



Sweet lessons on life

Breath of Joy

Howdy folk Howdy folk

In my Texas neighborhood, I always looked in wonder at the carefree cute little squirrels flitting about playfully enjoying their acorn meal 🙂 Light on their feet and mischievous taking a photo was always an exciting challenge. This lovely poem (by AB) brings out my true feelings of those moments.  🙂

As I walked, my head bowed down,
With the weight of all worldly matters,
I saw this squirrel merrily running around as if the world belonged to him,
But it did belong to him.

I saw him going about his task joyfully without a care in the world.
He was performing the most mundane task of searching for something to eat, or perhaps playing around after he had his fill,
But he, just like me is God’s creature. I marveled at the difference between him and me.
He lived on trust, knowing he will be taken…

View original post 111 more words

How do I handle feeling produced by my snobby relatives?

How do I handle feeling produced by my snobby relatives?

Ever since my Dad married my step-mom he avoids me and my brother’s and we’re his children. He goes and visits my cousins and treats them as his own. It’s hurtful to me and my brothers and anytime I come near my aunts and uncles they treat me like I’m nothing. I work as a teacher’s aide and just started college because I thought my family would accept me again if I had a higher education and better career. It’s not working. And I didn’t see this change until after my father married. I avoid telling my father how I feel because, I want him to be happy and I don’t want to cause problems between myself and my step mom.

Best Answer

  • Harbans answered 3 years ago
    • Edit

Due to change in equation in the family, your father, in order to keep peace with your stepmother is constrained to act the way he is doing that. Just understand his predicament. Be in his shoes and then think rationally. You will also act like that in his state of situation, if you want peace and tranquility with your wife.

After sometimes, broach this subject with your father. Be honest, sincere and forthright with your father and enquire why the change in attitude towards you people. Touch his emotional chord. Do not be brash in your assertion but have emotional tinge in your statement of fact. Sure enough, your father will respond positively and all will be squared out in due course of time. But do this while he is alone and in peace with himself. By His grace everything will be fine. *


Factually, goes well with you despite slight hurdles, it is essential that we:

·       Be adaptive to the change.

·       Try acquiring adequate qualification in order to get meaningful job so as to become economical  secure.

·       Understand others situations and introspect that if you yourself are placed in the similar situation what you should have done.

·       Do not over-react when patient could help solve problems.

·       While one is financially secure, he/she is not dependent on others. This financial security also gives confidence to face any challenge that may bedevil.

·       Have total faith in God that He’ll come to your succor.


What career oriented girls aspect from their spouse ?

What career oriented girls aspect from their spouse ?

Marriage problem

4 answers



Best Answer:  A career oriented girl expects that her spouse understands her thoroughly as that girl has to devote most of her time and energy at her work place. He should help her in her domestic chores, support her emotionally whenever there is emotional upsurge at time or work pressure, provide her financial support whenever there is a need, enhance her social status by respecting her place amongst the people you are living, and provide her sufficient space for improvement / advancement in her career ladder. And whenever there is divergent of views due to some misunderstanding (which is normal) come out with solution based on equal respect for each other with no lingering doubt for each other. And with love everything is possible should never be forgotten. *


*Additionally, if, sometimes a misunderstanding creeps up due to one reason or anther, that should not be swept under the carpet but discussed and solution sought out as with love and understanding anything falls in place. We are living in fast age, difficulties do visit us in one form or other, these have to be surmounted by both. And finally, having belief that our LORD is always there in their endeavours; then, nothing will go amiss.


Harbans · 3 years ago

Source(s): Plz visit


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Intentions are the anticipated aims or opinions or predicted results, or the intended action that we desire to perform in order to execute that for tangible results. Intended intentions may or may not turn into substantial results, howsoever honorable our intentions may be. The good intentions should herald good actions to fructify those intentions into perceptible results.

Mere having good intentions hardly means much, person’s track record should also be a guide; how in the past that person has translated good intentions into intended results. There are the ones who follow immoralists’ approach, adopt any means with an intention to get worldly possessions – deception and insincerity, whatever without qualms. An honest person will always have good intentions and does his acts and he does not care about the results of his intended and transacted actions. It has also been experienced that sometimes our intentions are pure yet the results are not appropriate due to reasons not under his/her control then we ought to admit sincerely and should not repeat the same.

To give a case in point is the good intentions of the doctors who performed sterilization operations, a few days back on the women in Chhattisgarh (Raipur) revealed as to how good intentions could turn into unfortunate tragedies/nightmares due to the sterilization turning botched. It also goes to show how a few unscrupulous people. I will call them parasites in the garb of humans. In order to accumulate money, they went the extents of giving contaminated medicines to operated women which resulted in deaths of 13 and 122 are still suffering ailments!  This also shows the worst intentions of the profiteers who could go to any limit to earn for themselves money with blood marks on every penny they have deceptively possessed. This is an unholy instance of ulterior intention for amassing money on the corpses of fellow humans.

Importantly, there are occasions when our intentions are pure but we are hesitant in transmuting those intentions into concrete results partly due to change in situation or change in mindset due to unpredictable reasons. For instance, the intentions of Arjuna (the great archer in Mahabharta) were honorable for he wanted to rid evil represented in the form of greedy Dharyodhana and his brothers including Shakuni and others but as he saw the armies of Karuvas amongst them his own blood relations, Bhishma, maternal uncles, grandsons, elders besides his guru his resolve to fight wavered. He expressed his inability to kill his own kinsmen and told to Lord Krishna that he does not desire for a victory nor has an intention to have kingdom nor pleasure or anything in the world or beyond after killing his own close relations. He further repeated that with the destruction of a dynasty, all the spiritual traditions will also end which will generate impiety in the society. This intention of not fighting was due to emotional upsurge that Arjuna felt after seeing his own relatives arrayed in the battle against him.

Lord Krishna, while appreciating the intention of Arjuna, exhorted him to kill those who represented evil and will help perpetuate the same if they are allowed to live in the society. Also, delusion of not eradicating sin from the society is a timidity and told that the person who remains alike in pain and pleasure and is not disturbed by sense objects becomes eligible for emancipation. He also counselled him not to grieve and change his intentions and fight since fighting and killing them will end the evil from the society. He enlightened Arjuna that by killing those arrayed against him, he would be liberating those killed from evil they personified because of immorality of soul.  

Significance of intention

·     A conclusive goal could be earmarked through our intention and then sincerely followed up.


·     Logical conclusions could be reached by morality/ethical based intentions.

·     Points to be included and excluded could be delved beforehand through thorough understanding.


·     Care ought to be exercised that bad intentions are not cloaked or laced in good intentions to hoodwink others.


·     Isolation of bad intentions with expertise.


·     When the intention is with an aim for reform the individual concerned may have to face opposition initially from the traditionalists due to their ignorance etc. Sabachch Bharat Abhyan (Clean India Campaign) which is going on is a case in point.  


Conclusively, I opine that if the intentions are pure, honest, sincere and simple, then, everything intended would be in partnership with our Lord /Allaha/ Ishwar / Akalpurakh and while His partnership is there, we need not to worry about the results.





During the life time of an individual,   a person cultivates attachment with his/her close relatives or friends or the ones who come in contact with him/her besides fondness for worldly possessions. The attachment is partly due to impact these things have on us during our lifetime and partly because we are swayed by hunger for ‘more’ as demonstrative posturing. We should never forget that much of attachment towards sense objects become a burden ultimately.

In Bhagwad Gita, it has been mentioned that as our body continuously passes from one body to another it is termed as death. The physical change in the body doesn’t affect the soul. Wise men do not get bemused by such a change.

Death, in fact is not the end of life, it is the beginning of a new life and this cycle of births and deaths goes on; if the theory of incarnation is taken into consideration. Having a common bond of love and affection between love ones, we tend to feel concerned when we have a death in the household or we feel pained if somebody meets his/her unfortunate end accidently. That is the reality of death we have to live with.

Shiva spent time in the cremation ground seeing the ultimate truth of life; body to end, knowing fully well that leaving the body inert was not the end of life owing to immortality of soul (Atma). Real thing happens at the cremation ground/grave yard.  It also goes to show that both the body and possessions earned by any method and attachments are left here only. Therefore, we have to remember that death is imminent, now or any other times, then why ASPIRE AND CONSPIRE FOR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS through ulterior means.

In Psalm 23.4, it has been mentioned: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort.

While transacting any action which has got ethical or moralistic values attached or any action that we transact, we should never forget the truth of death vis-a-vis ramifications of our karma – good or bad one and also, we should never fear death since our Creator is there to take us in His bosom.

A person is dead when he/she stops the biological functions and mixes in the elements from which he / she originated. The organism which once born lives a life from birth, passes through different stages of life; till such time there is energy in that organism in the form of soul; which is life giving spirit. Thus, death of an organism is due to biological ageing or may be due to natural disaster or man-made accidents or on other times due to self destruction of body termed as suicide – which I consider as a weakness of person concerned. When a person is dead, it means the body is clinically dead; when consciousness ceases to exist – dysfunction of the vital organs of the body.

We have not to forget the certainty of death. Sometimes, there is a dire ‘need of death’ for a particular individual suffering from terminal nature of ailment then why prolong his/her sufferings still further which could be stopped if that individual is gifted quick clinical ‘death’ which anyhow will be there soon. We have to be compassionate even while awarding death in such cases.


So whoever desires to meet his Lord, he should do good deeds and not associate anyone in the worship of his Lord. (Holy Quran – 18:110)

Right Karmic Deeds. While living, we should act according to the norms dear to the society as a whole. The individual should do such karmic acts which are creditable for individual besides not discredit him/her; with the realization that every Karma of his/her are being assiduously noted by Omnipotent and Omniscient God, therefore, he/she has to distance himself/herself from negativism, realizing that he/she cannot escape the consequence of his/her karma. It is thus counted what we do in this life.

Reality of Death should Never be Forgotten. If we make it a point to visit a cremation ground or graveyard or a burial ground, and see for ourselves how the dead body is consigned to flames or the body is buried deep inside the earth and left to decompose. This makes us realize the futility of having egocentric life during lifetime and having worldly possessions through greed or deception, There are two options for us, either we can seek survival by any means or seek limitless satiety through self realization – just having the eternal thinking that our body is bound to be destroyed but our soul is eternal.

Thoughts on death while living. While going through the different epitaphs on the graves of different people, we may get suitable lessons.. Here we can learn from the epitaphs that those buried there were so powerful while they were living but are now dead just inert, actionless. Truth has been written on these.

For example:

The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.

Henry David Thoreau.

Attitude towards life. Nobody can escape death. It is imminent. Highs and lows cannot escape this reality. Having this aspect in view, one should always do his/her karma in conformity with natural laws. Humans should behave with their fellow beings with respect considering him/her related with common Creator.

While living a pious life, one should always remain committed to not to encroach upon others rights. Leading a moralistic life is the need of the hour. Nature of life we live counts. One should always remember that death is an existential phenomenon and while one is alive, one should exist with grace, helping those who need our help, leading a life of piety and be compassionate with the fellow beings and when dying, one should die with grace!

After death Philosophy. In Hindu philosophy, we get our next birth according to our past karmic deeds or misdeeds. With good karmic credit, we get birth commensurate with that. Self realized individuals get moksh – liberation from births and deaths.


Those who know that man is mortal, tries to remain within the confines of his/her rights and duties. He never forgets that when he was born, he had not brought anything and when he will depart from this earth, he will not be able to take away anything at all. We will have to have our appointment with death, now or sometimes afterwards. If we remember the imminence of death then we shall not do bad karma.

We take much care to our body as if it were our property for good. I shall compare this body with a vehicle which runs on fuel. As long as fuel is there, this vehicle functions and when it is exhausted, this vehicle becomes useless. This body of ours lasts till our soul is there in it. When it is not there in the body, this body is just like a vehicle without fuel’s energy.

A person who knows this truth will not commit any sin because that person knows fully well that doing sin is another type of death only besides being a spiritual death. During our lifetime, if we achieve something, we consider it as our achievement. This feeling goes deeper into our psyche and makes us egotistic. The person with ego is neither here nor there. He remains glued to himself only, just gloating over what he has attained in life.

Kindly go through a poem:



After our earthy sojourn,

We mortals traverse to a world unknown,

Where to – guesswork abounds,

Some think, few are welcomed to enchanting Heaven,

And the others to burning ‘ghats’ of hell are thrown,

Depending solely on earthy deeds or misdeeds,

Ledger of which are assiduously maintained and screened.

Death is inevitable, then why gets afraid?

Death  is a stark-reality, then why get sad?

When parting with our kins so dear, finally,

During life too, we experience death in small ways routinely,

The one who has seen the dawn of the day,

Will surely see the dusk of the day.

A mistaken sense of pride,

Egged on by mistaken sense of permanence of life,

Spurs us to cling to this life so tight,

That sometimes, we forget the imminence of our end.

Which is so near but seemingly so far away from sight.

Earthy inning is quite alluring,

Parting with worldly possessions so paining,

Yet, in life, we ought to adopt righteous course,

Why fear, accept the change of garb with courage and without remorse,

A life filled with inner freedom is helpful,

Engrave this idea, eternal sleep is sacred and peaceful

Welcome the eternal sleep when it comes naturally with

open hands,

For this end is not the end of cycle of life and earth,

But a continuity of a play played by earthlings,

And supervised from His Heavenly abode by Supreme-being;

the one and the only one by whatever name you mention him.


Harbans Khajuria



Is it worth bathing Hindu Gods w/ milk, honey, yoghurt while in other part of world people are starving?

Is it worth bathing Hindu Gods w/ milk, honey, yoghurt while in other part of world people are starving?

Best Answer

  • Harbans answered 3 years ago
    • Edit

Religion is a matter of faith and loves to follow a ritual held dear. It may be bathing or cleaning the idols of their deities with milk, honey or yoghurt. It could be for keeping the idols cleansed. This is my honest opinion that it should be left to the individual concerned to propagate a person’s line of thinking or understanding. While doing so, It gives that person maximum satisfaction which is above everything else.

Hindus do Idol worshiping. These idols are to be kept neat and clean as we shower and use soap etc to keep ourselves neat minus germs. In the same way, we bath our Deities clean by bathing those Idols with milk, honey, yogurt to cleanse. In the process of doing so, see the amount of emotional upsurge one gets – only a person who does this act with enthusiasm can fathom the amount of satiety he/she gets. I think this is a sort of showering LOVE to the deity. Just do it yourself and see – but you’ll have to do it with sincere love.

People are starving not because of that fact that Hindu bath their Idols of Gods with milk etc but by their own shortcomings. And you may knowing as to who starve. Those do not work. There is everything for those who work. There is enough of work to eke out a living – and honorable at that. Also it has got no relevance with worship and the way to do it.

Honestly, religion should be left to the people concerned and not linked with any extraneous things. All religions have the practices which particular and dear to them. We all should respect them. *

*Belief is such a thing which attaches us with an object of our belief and when it comes to deities, the answers to our problems just come from the inner recesses of our mind. And whenever it is from our inner-self, the results are really astounding.







Guru Nanak Gurpurab, also called Guru Nanak Prakash Utsav or Guru Nanak Jayanti is celebrated with gaiety and enthusiasm. Guru Nanak was the founder of Sikhism. He was born on 15th April 1469 at Rai Bhoi-di Talwandi of Shekhopura of Pakistan. This is the holiest day in the history of Sikhism. It is celebrated not only by Sikhs but also by all those who believe in His beliefs. Akhand Path, non-stop recitation from Guru Granth Sahib, before the birthday is also observed in the Gurdwaras. Devout pay respectful  tributes to Sri Guru Nanak Devji and remember His contributions for  the spiritual upliftment of the common masses and rid them from unnecessary rituals that prevailed.

On this day Prabhat Pheris are taken from the Gurdwaras in the early morning itself. People sing hymns in His glory.

With this intention in mind, I have penned down a poem giving the complete description:-



Guru changes our lives to perfection

And Purb / Parva – a Sanskrit word meaning celebration

Life is a festival (Purb) of highest order

It may be on the eve of some festivals

Or on the anniversary of supreme sacrifices

To uphold commoners’ causes

Or Prakash Divas

A Day of Enlightenment held high in esteem by us.


On the most auspicious full moon day – Pooranmashi

At a village named Rai-Bhoi-Di-Talwandi

Now known as Nanakana Sahib

In the month of Kartik

15th day of April in the year 1469

When our most revered Nanak was born

To father Baba Kalu & Mother Tripta

No one but our beloved

Akalpurakh (Lord) knew with sureness

His observable agenda for this Special Messenger

To spread ‘IK NAAM’S’  Message

And that such a person will make huge difference

For causes most dear to society in general

Indeed a Shining Star on the horizon!


Observance and celebration of anniversaries

Linkage of which is an important feature

Of the Sikhs & the ones who believe in (Khalas) purity

Way of living now or in future with certainty 

Gurupurb lasts for three days

A pious Akhand Path in Gurudwaras

With organization of Nagarkirtans

Procession (Kirtni Jatha) is led by Pious Fives (Panj Piyaras)

With Holiest Shri Guru Granth Sahib on the Palanquin

Hymns from It purifies the environ

Spreading Its  Message – the most fragrant

Far and wide making the gentry mesmerized

Gatka Parties displaying their artistry

With their traditional weapons. 

On the Gurupurb Day Diwan

Starts early in the morn

With Asa-di-var

And hymns from Guru Granth Sahib are sung

Followed by discourses and Ardas

And finally Prashadha in Pangat (line)

Called langar served to all alike

People share it with great reverence

And make this day; a day to reminisce.


O! our Babaji – the most benevolent of all

Our earnest prayer to Thee my Lord

Let the spirit of this day

Remain etched in our memory

Spreading Thy Universal Message

Of Uniting the Humans without bias

And ridding them of the unnecessary rituals.

For wellbeing of all.