Am I doing something wrong? 

Hello friends.iam 27yrs old. Iam in love with my guy (who is 28) since 5 yrs. Last year I informed my parents about him. But they refused to even meet him, just because he is from a different caste. My guy did try to meet my parents. But they didnt let him. He did not involve his parents because it would only make matters worse. My parents clearly told my guy (over the phone) that they do not wish to meet him or his parents. This eventually lead to our break up. Since my parents were so adamant, I thought it would be best to part ways. Though the guy did not want to let go.we broke the mean time my parents almost fixed my marriage. Thats when i realised my mistake. Fortunately that match was I cancelled. i patched up with my bf after 8 months. I have once again told my parents about the guy and even now they have the same caste objection. 
I dont know what to do to solve this issue. I love my guy and i want my parents too. Am i wrong? also i go out with my bf for movies and lunch. Is it wrong? Should i stop it?

Best Answer Asker’s Choice

  • Harbans answered 4 years ago
    • Edit

It is important that parents want your well being. They must not have liked your friendly simply because they think you have been brought up in different set of circumstances. It is also possible that your parents must have got investigated about your friends background etc.

Whichever thing it may be, but fact remains, you love this guy. For this, I suggest you again bring up the subject and remove all the misgivings that they may be having. Half your problems will be solved if you show sincerity in your effort. Bring that boy to your parents, despite their not meeting. Involve one of your near relations but inform that relation everything about your relationship and his background and other antecedents. Certainly, there can be a way out. If object is based only on caste based then your parents have to introspect deep and take into account your life and future. You, then, have the final right to act in whatever way you think. But, for heaven’s sake do not take any hasty steps, which may put you and your parents and your boy friends red faced in the eyes of the people at large.

You also venture to meet his parents and convince them to meet yours so as to solve this festering problem. Please think logically, act compassionately that is good for you, your boy friend and the parents at both sides. Compromise solution for your benefit could be the right solution. And, if nothing comes out of the above efforts, you have your life to spend. Act as your heart and mind tell and take the final course.*

The following never be forgotten for a relationship to be lasting:-

  1. Love to be lasting should be both sided.
  2. Compromises on both side is a must. One party compromising and the other doing nothing will not take the two parties anywhere.
  3. For marriage to be successful, it is a must that both understand each others’ viewpoints vis-à-vis parents of boy and girl.
  4. Finally, if nothing works, boys and girl should forge head and have a lasting relationship together with the idea these fellows have their own lives to live and nothing counts much otherwise. And you are not doing anything wrong.

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  1. what counts much is your relationship with the boy or girl. Every other consideration is just important but not inevitably a necessity. Couple’s compatibility is a must for a marriage to the successful.

  2. We speak a lot about caste eradication – but fact is that it is deeply rooted in Indian psyche.
    Parents bow down to bigger familial pressure; and they , in turn bow down to societal pressure.
    And Khaap panchayats , Vaidu panchayats are gaining power – it is scary.

    1. My sincere thanks for your most appropriate comments.

      Till such time mindset is changed nothing tangible will result. We’re going forward in material possessions but
      going backward in our thought precepts. Khaap a d Vaidu panchayats people have to change their thinking in sync with the ongoing knowledge revolution and a change which has been blowing in our society.

      But we feel sorry that though we have gained by way of knowhow yet we remain backward in our day to day behaviour.


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