BALANCE IN LIFE
Whence every act we put our hand on, falters
Whence there is no insight
In what we really intend
And what is being actually done
Means there sure is some imbalance
Either in our thoughts
Or in execution of those thoughts
Or we are just confused in both
Weaving a web of doubts
Resulting in utter perplexity
A perfect balance is under the realm of possibility
When our thinking is in sync with our sincere deed
Setting a goal for every day without fail
If effort result in failure
A relook on effort could stimulate us to go ahead
Providing us a chance to succeed
Balance in thought & action thus is mystic key
Which could steer our tossing boat of life forward
Of course with ample graces of our Lord.
Is it possible to have perfect balance in our life and how?
Life is a web of contradictions. But who is the architecture of this web? We ourselves, are not we? These contradictions keep pestering us. We want to move in a particular direction but the situations keep pulling us in the opposite direction. With no balance, we move as the flow of situation take us. Having no control means facing hurdles at every step besides being directionless makes us fatalistic and ultimately bereft of any balance.
Truly speaking, life of ours is like a big zoo, different people, different traits and behaving differently and that too under a similar circumstance! There are the ones who have learnt to face the realities of life and there are the ones who hardly learn from mistakes. There are the people who take extreme right course and the others who take extreme left. But which one is suitable for a particular person depends on that person’s circumstances and intelligence to cope.
Some people fly off the tangent when they face hard realities of life while others just keep cool and make another sincere effort. Jesus Christ did not lose his composure when he was about to be crucified. He merely uttered: ‘Father forgive them, for they know what they do.’ Fact stands out all of us cannot be like Lord Jesus Christ but we’ve to have some semblance of self composure while amidst adverse situations.
But one thing is sure, we can seek the perfect balance by following a spiritual oriented life. At the altar of God, we can have a healthy balance. This spiritual oriented life should also be balanced between good deeds and prayers, meditations, contemplations. This could be meaningfully done through keeping balance between our duties (both towards our family and also for the society of which we are a part) and our rights. Prayers are right but we should make life our prayer in every way and every day. That balance will take us forward in every way – morally, ethically, physically and ultimately make us spiritually awakened individual.
Good deeds are the measure of our being compassionate to others – fulfilling the needs of others without an iota of mention about this. We should make our life as a prayer in every way – a most healthy balance between the thoughts, spirituality and good deeds. In doing so, we can spread the message of love, compassion, brotherhood while performing our duties variously.
Every individual may have different sets of circumstances to cope but common thread in each one of them is the God who could come to our rescue if we maintain a balance in life. This balance could be attained by observance of the following aspects.-
- By earning our self Esteem. Self esteem is not acquired merely through tall talk. It has to be earned through persistent efforts. It is not through self patting but through proving our worth in thoughts and deeds with notion that we have to lose totally for gaining something in return. Here losing would be in the form of negative traits, in the form of anger, self-indulgence, bitterness towards others et al which we have acquired over a period of time and gaining the positive traits like empathy, selfless service, spreading the message of peace, forgetting and forgiving et al. Losing in could also be in material possession for others who need it more. Besides, if anything is to be lost truly, it is our ego. It is through the light of knowledge that we can destroy our baser thoughts and hence our ego. When we lose our ego, there is everything to gain and nothing to lose. Having rid ourselves from the ego, surrender is easiest and it is an easiest way to gain balance in our lives.
- Knowing and spreading Love. We all want to be loved. Who doesn’t want that? It is a panacea for all ills which are afflicting our societies. Lack of love for others is bedeviling our society. Even animals show more of love than humans do. I saw in this morning, example of true love; a female dog was feeding its four puppies besides protecting them from other dogs and naughty kids. Herd protective mentality of animals is another example of love and care for each one of them. But is it so in humans? We erect pointless boundaries around us based on petty considerations of religion, colour, caste etc. This too is against acquiring balance in our life.
- Balance between rights and duties. We talk much for our rights and less and less about our duties. We want to exercise the power of self expression but do we care if our self expression proves counterproductive for others? We’ve the right to keep our houses clean but it must not be by throwing the dirt outside our houses. Our rights stop when somebody privacy starts. Meaning our rights has some limit. A balance has to be acquired on this account.
- Balance between our Rhetoric and Actual Action (Karma). We’ve to have a a thorough balance what we tell others to follow and what we actually deliver. In whatever capacity we are functioning, if we perform the assigned task(s) sincerely and set an example for others to follow means we’ve achieved maximum. Our sermons would be of no consequence if we ourselves do not follow those practically.
- Setting goals. It is important that we set goals in our life. In that goal setting every day just counts. Disappointment arises when we fail to achieve goal during that day. We can reorient those goals. Having set those in different spheres, we can sub-divide these goals and allot time for each one according to their importance. In this too a balance works – to take success and failure in the same spirit.
- To be nice is good but to be sincere is the best quality. Sincerity in our day to day life can make a huge difference to us and to the people with who are dealing.
- Coming out of the defeatist attitude. Those who make effort do face failure sometimes but it is not that we may burn all our boats before any further try. Defeatist attitude have to be obliterated from our system. Here too balance in our efforts works.
- Good company. We’ve to keep good company in order to imbibe their positive habits and attitudes. Inspiration from our friends could give fillip to our efforts and even fuel synergy to these efforts for better results. A balance between give and take is required here for a sound relationship.
- Flexibility and adjustment to change. It has been experienced that those who are flexible in their day to day dealing and attitude can adjust in any environment whereas a person with pre-conceived mindset will face hurdle in every step. Balance in our dealings is thus a must.
- Our contribution at home and work place etc. We’ve to ponder about various roles we play, as a member of the family, as a responsible member of the community in which a person is living, or our interaction in formal and informal institutions. There has to be a healthy balance in all the activities. It means over-stretching our roles will put unreasonable pressure on us and too much restricting ourselves will jeopardize our position with social implications. Having defined our role, we can act accordingly and also if we find that there is something lacking, we can improve upon that role and go ahead in life. It means just flexibility in roles is the crux.
- Knowledge base. We’ve to enhance our knowledge base for personal development. This should be development physically, mentally, socially, aesthetically, morally and above all financially. The last one is also important since it has got linkage with other roles. But a healthy balance in our efforts for acquiring tangible results will help.
- Meeting Requirements. We’ve myriads of needs which we’ve to meet in our life. These are to be mentioned in chronologically in the order of their importance and action from us to fulfill these. Here proper balance between our sincere effort besides meeting our social obligations is a must.
Finally, I am of the firm opinion that a healthy balance could be acquired in our life if there is convergence in our thinking and action provided that thinking and action thereof is beneficial for all; of course inclusive of the person concerned.
Spreading doses of light and love should be our main thrust rest all is a shadow boxing. This could be attained if we’re having perfect balance in life in all facets of lifes.
You would have noticed that at the end of every Mantra, Pooja and at temples Om Shanti Mantra Om Shanti is chanted thrice.
Om Shanti means May There Be Peace.
One witnesses disturbances in the world and in one’s Mind body.
Some are due to factors within one’s control and some beyond one.
It is the Hindus way of pacifying these my chanting and thereby attempting to appease them.
Disturbances/Calamities come from,
Through one’s body,
Through the forces of Nature and
due to past actions and the Will of God.(Stains on the soul as Jains put it)
These three are classified as.
Adi Daivikam and
Adhi-daivikam literally means “mental disturbances that come from God”—i.e. things that are utterly beyond our control: hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, tsunamis, etc. We have no control over these types of disturbances. So when we say the first shanti…
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NAVRATRI FESTIVAL – FESTIVAL WHICH PURIFIES BODY AND MIND
MAY THIS NINE DAYS’ WONDER OF NAVRATRI BRINGS HAPPINESS AND PEACE FOR ALL
NAVRATRI / NAVRATRA STARTS FROM TODAY
Undoubtedly, India is a land of festivals, with diverse history besides diverse cultural mores. All festivals are occasioned on change of certain seasons or based on certain historical events. People call the same festival differently in different regions but spirit behind all these remains just vibrant. Enthusiasm and gaiety remain the guiding force behind all the celebrations. It may be dussehra; diwali; holi; lohri; Eid; Good Friday; Guru Purabhs or any other festival of any religion the spirit of celebration remain the binding force.
Literally, the word, NAVRATRI; NAV means NINE and RATRI means NIGHTS. Strict fasting is observed by devotees with lighter refreshments to keep themselves light and pure in body and mind like mountain air. This also provides the devotees a freedom from adulteration and contamination both in body and mind besides purifying soul along with making it taint-free. All these traits enhance the honesty and credibility of the individual devotee who observes the fasts and also offers sincere prayers these days with utmost devotion. This lightness in body and mind provides us an opportunity to devote our mind in our prayer to Goddess Durga maan, an embodiment of power ‘shakti’.
Besides observing fasts, devotees organize congregations in the form of melas and also enact programmes and cultural functions in the form of group dances and devotional songs. For example famous ‘garva dance’ is organized in the state of Gujarat and devotional songs and dance competitions are organized in West Bengal besides prayers in the specially erected and decorated pandals. People visit the famous temples of Vaishno Devi in Katra (in Jammu province) besides all the temples of Goddess Durga in its different forms / manifestations attract devotees in these nine days.
The main driving force of the Navratri is to purify our thoughts and deeds thereof. In these nine days devout observe strict fasts; remain chaste and desist from telling lies. Wish that people always behave like this all the days!
The first three days are celebrated on the name of Durga mata – Goddess with immense power
For next three days she is worshipped as spiritual wealth – Mata Lakshmi.
Subsequently for next three days, she is Goddess of wisdom – the Goddess Saraswati. It bestows spiritual enlightenment besides showering an individual with all round success.
It is useful for our benefit to know the importance of each day.
- First Day. On the first day, Mata Durga is termed as Shailputri – the daughter of Himalaya and the consort of Lord Shiva.
- Second Day. Mata Durga on the second day is called as Brahmacharini which represents worship. She is the embodiment of huge reserve of power – Shakti.
- Third Day. On the third day, the Goddess is venerated as Chandraghanta. She is the embodiment of power and beauty.
- Fourth Day. On the fourth day, Maan Durga is worshipped in the form of Kushmanda – the creator of whole universe by the power of her laughter.
- Fifth Day. Here on this day, Eskandha – the main warrior of Gods’ army.
- Sixth Day. On the sixth day, Mataji takes the form of Katyayani with three eyes and four hands – all powerful and with immense grace.
- Seventh Day. On this day, Maan Durga takes the form of Kalratri – she is shown as black as dark night with four hands and makes the evil doers fearless.
- Eighth Day. On the eighth day, the Mata Durga takes the form of Maha Gauri – with beauty besides having calmness and exhibits immense wisdom.
- Nineth Day. On the nineth day, Maan Durga is worshipped as Siddidatri – with all the eight sidhis. In this form, she is worshipped by all.
Benefits of Navratri:-
- Fasts keep our digestive system in fine and helps maintain our body healthy.
- It purifies our mind because we pray Goddess continuously for nine days/nights in the way it is done by Muslims in RAMZAN FASTING.
- Purification of body and mind means spiritually directed conscious mind thus a shift from negativity to positivity
- Congregations in melas etc help in people to people contacts thus animosity, if any, gets obliterated and a feeling of fellow feeling and cooperation sprout.
- Group dances and spiritual song competitions enhance competitive spirits in the youth and also help them direct their latent energies to productive use.
- Devotees, in their zeal to show earnest desire to have total connectivity with Goddess Durgaji, offer singular devotion to Her during these auspicious days, reap the harvest of answering their problems faced and get PEACE OF MIND in their lives as a reward of this worship.
I recite mantras like: OM GURUJI SARV MANGAL MANGLE SHIVE SARVARTH SADKE SHARANUM JAI AMKE GAURI NARAINI NAMON SHIVEYE. Also: AUM EHN HERIN KALIN NAMON SHIVAYE. OR ELSE SIMPLY JAI AMBKE JAI JAGDAMBKE. It gives me immense peace and connectivity with my Goddess.
With this intention in view, I have penned down a poem titled : NAVRATRI kindly appraise and comment. I love your comments immensely.
Fact stands out India is a land rich in cultural mores
Here the festivals are galore
Commemorated on certain seasons or occasions
Amongst the venerated festivals in Hindu traditions
Navratri attracts all shades of people for celebrations
Celebrated two times in a year
March-April – as Chaitra Navratri,
October-November – as the Shradha Navratri.
Nav-ratri is the created from two Hindi expressions
‘Nav’ meaning nine
And ‘ratri’ meaning night
Related to Goddess Durga – the Warrior
Attired in mesmerizing dress in red colour
Mounted on the lion so ferocious
Navratri too is linked with fertility of land
Folks observe the fitness of earth
By testing seeds germination in pots earthen
Folks also observe fasting rigidly
And keep themselves chaste
In words and in deeds indeed.
Legends abound about Navratri.
Meheshsura the demon king worshipped Lord Shiva
Who grants him the boon of invincibility even from Gods
Starts killing people most innocent
And even acquired the Seven Lokas by force
Including the thrown of Indra.
To annihilate the powerful Maheshsura
The Trinity & other Gods confabulated
For creating a power supreme for defeating the demon
Created Ma Shakti – Mother the most powerful one
Or Durga, the Warrior Goddess.
The war between Maheshasur and Mother Divine
Lasted for days nine
On day tenth She killed him
Navratri thus symbolizes the victory of good over evil
On (9th day) Mahanavami nine young girls are worshiped
As Nine Forms of Durga Goddess
And gifted food and new dresses.
Another legend has it
King Daksha the King of Himalayan Kingdom
Was blessed with a daughter
He named her Uma – a most beautiful one
She worshipped Lord Shiva immeasurably
So that He may accept her in marriage easily
Having pleased Lord Shiva
Thus marries Uma
Against the wishes of King Dhaksha
One day King Dhaksha held a grand Yagna
All Gods except Shiva were invited
Uma wanted to attend
Yagna with Lord Shiva’s reservation even
And against His wishes
King Daksha reprimanded her for coming uninvited
In rage she jumps into Agni Kund (Fire-grate) and perished
And was termed as Sati
Madev as Virbadhara took King Daksha task for this
On rebirth (as Parbati) she marries Lord Shiva again
She comes to Her parents to stay for Nine Days
And thus we celebrate these Nine Days as Navratri.
Legend also has it that Lord Rama
Worshipped Goddess Durga’s
Nine Forms for nine days
On day tenth He was able to kill powerful demon king Ravana
Thus day tenth is celebrated as Vijaydakshmi or Dussehra
First three days are dedicated to Goddess Durga
In the form of child; young girl and mature woman
The three varied stages of womanhood
Symbolizing victory of evil over falsehood
Next three days are dedicated to Goddess of Wealth & Prosperity
Her name is Goddess Lakshmi
She symbolizes wealth; peace and prosperity
Last three days are commemorated in the name of Goddess Saraswati
The Goddess of knowledge
In snowy white dress
Mounted on a white swan
Thus Navratri is termed as the sign
Of purity and well-being.
Why we blame others for our own faults – many a times knowingly?
PASSING ON OUR FAULTS
Accept it or reject it
Is our decision in the end
We humans commit mistakes
Other times intentional
Blemish about it all is
That we just pass blame
On others for our own faults
As though it were our customary pastime
A move bordering on sham
Enacted and played on a routine basis
Thus creating a thin covering
Between reality and falsehood
Which totters our brotherhood
Proving to be a wet blanket
Thus messing up warmth in rapport.
Too often, in our zeal for escaping from adverse repercussion of our deliberate action, many a times, we blame others knowingly. By so doing, we do disservice not to ourselves but also to the person to whom we are insinuating. There are myriads of happenings which transpire in our lives consistently. Sometimes we take those things in our stride but on some, we become so touchy or even hyper that we pass the buck on others unreasonably and unnecessarily and dish out many unpalatable causes for the same.
Tragedy is, we do not accept our faults. We consider ourselves ‘holier than thou’ attitude. Also, who does not commit fault? At one time or other all do but considering others responsible for our own faults, I think is sinful? It has also been seen that even for our own failures we hold others around us responsible! When nothing works, we even hold our luck responsible or say it was destined without realizing our own part played in creating an ugly scenario – like putting our best efforts etc. These people have the tendency of whining or lamenting or conveniently pass on the blame on others rather than doing a course correction ourselves or change our attitude. Accepting mistake is a graceful act rather than putting blame on others for our faults deliberately or otherwise. Other times, we have the feeling of self-victimization, a feeling – why with me only, without realizing that others may have the same sort of emotional upsurge like we are experiencing.
In our family lives too there are some innocuous incidents which are blown out of proportion causing ill-will and disharmony in the family. For example, a spouse forgetting a family anniversary, the other party taking it very seriously, in the process spoiling the atmospheric in the family. These petty incidents could have been forgotten due to any cause – due to our pressing engagements or just skipping from the memory-lane due to any other reason but not intentional yet it is blown out of proportion. These like incidents could result in our relations falling part. This has been observed many a times.
We must have experienced such shade of behavior of putting blame on others anywhere anytime by us in our daily dealings. Yesterday, I observed how the life of a hapless wife could turn to a virtual hell, she was insinuated / accused by somebody else in her neighborhood on a silly pretext. She wanted to clarify her standpoint and bring out what actually transpired. She contacted the concerned neighbor and explained her point of view. This made her own family member including her husband incensed and agitated to such an extent that they abused the poor girl for no fault of hers and even accused her of going against the values of the family! Such is the limit to which some people could go in transferring blame on others, without rhyme or reason. We can imagine the predicament of that unfortunate girl. Just a case of harassment by transferring fault.
Then there are the people who are unable to adapt to the environs where they’ve sought employment. They’ve the similar problem at any place they go, even then they blame others for the predicament, without realizing that fault lies squarely in them. Change according to the need of the hour is a necessity for all of us. Those who do not change just perish or cannot go ahead in their lives in any venture they put their hands on.
We accept it or not, all must have faced adverse situations. How we tackle those situations solely depends on us. It is either you can shift blame or tackle the situation on the spot.
No dispute that everybody commits mistakes or faults but having escapist attitude and not facing music for our faults by transferring blame is no solution at all. In such situation, following course of action is suggested:-
- If something adverse is going on in our family life, just discuss with the person concerned. It may be that a little acceptance or rejection of faults here and there could straighten up a knotty matter. We prestige loss in accepting our faults contrarily, we’ll earn goodwill and create congenial atmosphere in the family.
- If some job adjustment problem is there, it means that that particular job is not suitable for us. There are two courses open for us. Either to change according to the job requirement(s) or leave the job for a more suiting job. Self blaming or blaming others will hardly make difference rather self analysis is the only solution in this sort of a situation.
- If we are unable to adjust in the peer group due to one reason or other, it is paramount to introspect as to why it is happening and resort to appropriate course correction. If even then nothing works, it means we’ve to give a fresh look on our friends’ circle. It should never be forgotten that tolerating beyond a certain limit becomes a cause of turning us a ‘split personality’ / Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) – a mental disorder which we’ve to put up with till our entire life. Why to bring this on us?
- Need of the hour is self realization. When nothing works for us, blame game is not the solution. Why to put ourselves in such a predicament. We’ve to be realistic. If nothing works, we’ve to explore the vast reservoir of inner potential in all of us. Be practical and accept the reality. Whether or not we act thus depends solely on us. If still nothing works, surrender to our CREATOR, who is ever ready to shower His eternal love on us all. Then why this shifting of blame? Tangible results could happen only by accepting our faults and seeking course correction. Then a total belief in Him could make a huge difference in all of us.
IF SOUL IS IMMORTAL THEN WHY WORRY ABOUT SMALL HICCUPS IN OUR LIVES?
SOUL – A PERMANENT GIFT OF OUR CREATOR
We remain worrying for tomorrow, so uncertain
Tomorrow is a elusive twist of time,
Which none has and will catch-up
It eluded even the mightiest
Who conquered the unconquerable
May have made a mark in the annals of history
Yet alas! Burnt fingers severely
Whence got beating by the time
Which is hard to pin down
Thus this ‘time’ taught humans a lesson, so sweet
Treasure and rely on the present moment
Thence this moment will transform onto next one
Worry not what has been lost till now
There is still more enduring than what we’ve lost
Blessed are we with a gift of our Super Being
A Soul, so permanent in all living beings
To which elements cannot destroy
But our task is to keep it immune
From bad influences that may keep luring
It’ll outshine if we keep communing
With our Creator for keeping it unsullied
For our ultimate deliverance.
There is no dispute about our death. The person who is born has to die one day, nobody knows for sure when and how. Then there are two constituents of our body of which we are certain; our body and mind. The purpose of the body is to perform all the motor functions of our body under the dictates of our mind through its five senses. During our lifetime, we give more credence to the body of ours thinking that this body of ours is so real and keep pampering it in various ways. But in actual practice, this is really a mirage, a cosmic illusion. We do not know when this body of ours on which we spend so much time and energy becomes lifeless; as and when its driver soul leaves the body. After soul leaves the body, then this body of ours is lifeless and worthless to be burnt or buried. The soul (Ruh) or spirit is permanent and counts; everything other than it, in our body is temporary.
Immortality of soul has been revealed by prophets, saints, seers, mystics and enlightened souls in different periods. It has also been revealed in various researches in recent times which tell us about the journey of soul and also about its immortality.
Soul lasts eternally and leaves the physical body after it has performed its variety of functions. It is not physical. It has not got any shape or size. Our body functions because it has a soul. It is different from mind or heart. Anyhow, if soul loses sight of its true nature or wavers from its assigned task/path then it could be atoned. The souls which do not act according to the commandments are condemned.
Almost all the religions of the world believe in the immortality of soul although there may be difference as to how soul completes its journey after death of the body. Skepticism on this theory still exists despite some accounts of death-like situations/conditions and the descriptions after their revival have also made it evident about the journey of soul after leaving the body.
In Holy Quran it has been very clearly mentioned: we know that the spirit is a quality of God that He sends to the humans He has created in order to support, strengthen, and give life to them. Thus, humans have some of God’s spirit.
Great Greek philosophers like Socrates and Plato believe the immortality of soul. Socrates was accused of corrupting his students and hence awarded death penalty. At the time of drinking the poison he sarcastically mentioned that he would be with the ones who had ordered him to gulp the poisonous drink but after that he would be departing to his heavenly abode. It is because he believed in the immortality of soul.
Then our next birth depends on how we live the present life. It should never be forgotten that as long as soul remains in the body we are alive and kicking. Sooner it leaves, we are no more. Spiritual evolution can take place in the life of an individual with personal determined effort firstly through self analysis and then plugging the weak areas through guidance of true guru/preacher. This will also help us eliminate our bad tendencies and imbibe good ones – not only presently but for next incarnation(s) too. Our past associations help us to adjust with the present quickly without much effort. For our life to be spiritually rewarding, it is necessary that we commune with our Creator besides remaining pure in thoughts and actions.
Sikhs believe in permanence or immortality of soul. They believe that if we do not purify our soul by getting rid of bad traits like lust, anger, greed, rancor etc we would be reincarnated till we get rid of these bad deeds. This cycle of births and deaths in various species just continues till we purify ourselves fully. Death in Sikhism is defined as the end of life in one species and birth as entering in another species. Salvation is possible only when we meditate on God and purify ourselves totally.
Hindus too believe in the immortality of soul and believe that soul travels from one life to another according to Karmic credit or debit which one earns during the lifetime. While talking about the immortality of soul, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna that our soul does not die with the body. We were before our birth on this earth and we will remain even after our death. And further mentions that our body continuously passes from childhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body after death. The physical change in the body does not affect the soul.
The soul never takes birth and never dies at any time nor does it come into being again when the body is created. The soul is eternal, imperishable and timeless and is never terminated when the body is terminated. Similar is the case with Budhism.
Sant Kabir has also mentioned the various planes in which the soul goes through after the death of an individual and hence a transmigration from one species to another.
Christianity also believes in the permanence of the spirit or soul. Jesus Christ is a great soul and that is why he got resurrection after crucification. We humans cannot. That is difference between ordinary humans like us and Jesus.
If soul is immortal and our next incarnation depends on the fruits of present and previous births then why to fret and fume when something amiss happens with us or when somebody takes us for a ride without rhyme or reason. That incident or happening should be construed as a passing phase and in fact we should learn lesson out of that incident.
If somebody ill-treats us then sure enough that person will get the punishment for his bad karmic deeds. Then why do we take law in our hands and take cudgels against that person? We’ve to come out of taking revenge mode. Let that person suffer the pangs of his actions because nothing escapes from the gaze of the Omnipotent and Omniscient. Hence forgetting and forgiving is the key.
Of course, if that person has committed some crime then that person will get punishment according to gravity of crime committed. Every civil society, which wants that the rule of law should prevail wants that.
It could be conclusively be said that we’ve one thing that we’ve to care for and that is the purity of our ‘self’ / soul then the graces of our Creator would be aplenty; every other thing just is impermanent.
Q. I need to know why my life is like that I need to change plz help me? No funny answers pl z? Since my childhood, I usually depend on others. I just longing to be cared.
Explanatory note: But unfortunately in my childhood, I left little uncared even i have a family. but only god grace only now i am in good position. But during those lonesome time i just develop imaginary one person who cares me very well and love me like no one ever did.just i created according to my desire and expectation. I really thought he is real and i am going to meet him one day so i longing to see him. but after i find out he is not true and just my imagination. i was broke and get up by the hands of god.his mercy only i am living.after i wake up from my delusion, may it seems like easy in words but really really hard. even i am aware of my imaginary person. i mistakenly match that imaginary person with the one i met officially he was not look like the one who i used to imagine but some of it resemble like smile and gentleness, but i was wrong he is not good. By god grace only now i am alright. but after hard time why i still am expecting one to be care me. Whenever i heard any song i started to cry like that i missing someone (plz don’t tell that the one who i met officially i never loved him and he also never loved me. thats over). someone like that i used to have before but i never have anyone like that.since childhood onwards i had feeling that i miss someone. i just want to get rid of it. because i am in good position. may be this will affect it. i dont like to be depended on someone esply some one who doesn’t exist. i had enough
From the account you have mentioned it is clear that you have not met anybody who could care you and provide you help when you need it so desperately.
Also, now that you have attained some position in your life are in a positive frame of – a sign for your forward march in your life. But still, you are having a nagging feeling of neglect and discontent in your life.
For the purpose of ridding yourself of the feeling/predicament in which you find yourself, I suggest the following for imbibing self confidence.
1. Know yourself. First and foremost thing in life is to know your capabilities and deficiencies. Make endeavour to make good those deficiencies the best way you can – exploiting the chances you are given and improving upon the chances of your success. Also, make endeavour to turn your incapacities into capacities by hard efforts – not forgetting that nothing is acquired without pain – no pains, no gains should always be kept in mind. After having known yourself fully, we can improve.
2. Traits. We have positive traits and negative ones. Pin point the negative ones and try removing them. These include anger, greed, jealousy, etc. Having conquered these we can add to our potentialities.
3. Trust / Belief in God. Having known your own self, is the most important one and then comes total belief in our Lord who is ever ready to render us any help if we care to take that help. But we shall have to have total trust in Him – not wavering one and see the difference it could make to your life! Spiritual life enhances equanimity. We can face any situation with the grace of our Lord.
4. Have a good company. Make concerted efforts to have good company. There are the people who could transform your life and make your life pleasant and there are the people who rather than giving you good advice and save you from the impending situations will pull you further down the hill. Just choose your friends judiciously.
5. Hobby. Cultivate a hobby which may keep you absorbed – reading o/ writing or any other creative one which may help you exploit your inner potentialities.
6. Write your plan of action and try sticking to them.
7. Always remain positive. Never be disappointed on failures. Challenge the failures.
8. Remain Busy/Utilizing time in positive pursuits.. it has been seen that those people who remain without any work remain thinking about the coming events – which may or may not be there. Keeping busy or absorbed in some pursuit means not frittering away our time.
Remember everything starts with you and ends with you. If you want to have a positive change you will have to change yourself positively. Otherwise mere wishful thinking will not suffice. *
The ‘neglect’ one has experienced / undergone in our childhood or thereabouts (this neglect may be due to some extraneous situations beyond our control) is difficult to be wished away easily even if we want to. We keep imagining about this ‘neglect’ even after we come out of this problem. This is like a unwanted blanket which one wants to dispense with but it is difficult to throw away. Though this enforced feeling has to be cast out of our system; if we want to live a meaningful life. For this to be fructified, it is important that we train our imagination to face the challenges in life with a sense of purpose. The ghost of imagined leaning that we have befriended since our childhood, has to be removed come what may, if we want to live a peaceful life.
When we’ve got rid of inherent negative traits and negative mindset then is the time for keeping ourselves abreast of reality and try not to live a life based on imagining’ things – inventing adverse situations where none exist.
It should always be kept in mind that nobody who is born here on this earth is without problems or adverse situations. If one has sufficient material resources, he might be having health problems, if that fellow is having both (money and health) he might have adjustment problems with his relations etc. But one thing is certain those who weather all sorts of storms with a positive frame of mind and keep themselves afloat are people who count and worth emulation.
We should never forget: Change when change is hugely required.
Thanks and God bless.