Q. I need to know why my life is like that I need to change plz help me? No funny answers pl z? Since my childhood, I usually depend on others. I just longing to be cared.
Explanatory note: But unfortunately in my childhood, I left little uncared even i have a family. but only god grace only now i am in good position. But during those lonesome time i just develop imaginary one person who cares me very well and love me like no one ever did.just i created according to my desire and expectation. I really thought he is real and i am going to meet him one day so i longing to see him. but after i find out he is not true and just my imagination. i was broke and get up by the hands of god.his mercy only i am living.after i wake up from my delusion, may it seems like easy in words but really really hard. even i am aware of my imaginary person. i mistakenly match that imaginary person with the one i met officially he was not look like the one who i used to imagine but some of it resemble like smile and gentleness, but i was wrong he is not good. By god grace only now i am alright. but after hard time why i still am expecting one to be care me. Whenever i heard any song i started to cry like that i missing someone (plz don’t tell that the one who i met officially i never loved him and he also never loved me. thats over). someone like that i used to have before but i never have anyone like that.since childhood onwards i had feeling that i miss someone. i just want to get rid of it. because i am in good position. may be this will affect it. i dont like to be depended on someone esply some one who doesn’t exist. i had enough
From the account you have mentioned it is clear that you have not met anybody who could care you and provide you help when you need it so desperately.
Also, now that you have attained some position in your life are in a positive frame of – a sign for your forward march in your life. But still, you are having a nagging feeling of neglect and discontent in your life.
For the purpose of ridding yourself of the feeling/predicament in which you find yourself, I suggest the following for imbibing self confidence.
1. Know yourself. First and foremost thing in life is to know your capabilities and deficiencies. Make endeavour to make good those deficiencies the best way you can – exploiting the chances you are given and improving upon the chances of your success. Also, make endeavour to turn your incapacities into capacities by hard efforts – not forgetting that nothing is acquired without pain – no pains, no gains should always be kept in mind. After having known yourself fully, we can improve.
2. Traits. We have positive traits and negative ones. Pin point the negative ones and try removing them. These include anger, greed, jealousy, etc. Having conquered these we can add to our potentialities.
3. Trust / Belief in God. Having known your own self, is the most important one and then comes total belief in our Lord who is ever ready to render us any help if we care to take that help. But we shall have to have total trust in Him – not wavering one and see the difference it could make to your life! Spiritual life enhances equanimity. We can face any situation with the grace of our Lord.
4. Have a good company. Make concerted efforts to have good company. There are the people who could transform your life and make your life pleasant and there are the people who rather than giving you good advice and save you from the impending situations will pull you further down the hill. Just choose your friends judiciously.
5. Hobby. Cultivate a hobby which may keep you absorbed – reading o/ writing or any other creative one which may help you exploit your inner potentialities.
6. Write your plan of action and try sticking to them.
7. Always remain positive. Never be disappointed on failures. Challenge the failures.
8. Remain Busy/Utilizing time in positive pursuits.. it has been seen that those people who remain without any work remain thinking about the coming events – which may or may not be there. Keeping busy or absorbed in some pursuit means not frittering away our time.
Remember everything starts with you and ends with you. If you want to have a positive change you will have to change yourself positively. Otherwise mere wishful thinking will not suffice. *
The ‘neglect’ one has experienced / undergone in our childhood or thereabouts (this neglect may be due to some extraneous situations beyond our control) is difficult to be wished away easily even if we want to. We keep imagining about this ‘neglect’ even after we come out of this problem. This is like a unwanted blanket which one wants to dispense with but it is difficult to throw away. Though this enforced feeling has to be cast out of our system; if we want to live a meaningful life. For this to be fructified, it is important that we train our imagination to face the challenges in life with a sense of purpose. The ghost of imagined leaning that we have befriended since our childhood, has to be removed come what may, if we want to live a peaceful life.
When we’ve got rid of inherent negative traits and negative mindset then is the time for keeping ourselves abreast of reality and try not to live a life based on imagining’ things – inventing adverse situations where none exist.
It should always be kept in mind that nobody who is born here on this earth is without problems or adverse situations. If one has sufficient material resources, he might be having health problems, if that fellow is having both (money and health) he might have adjustment problems with his relations etc. But one thing is certain those who weather all sorts of storms with a positive frame of mind and keep themselves afloat are people who count and worth emulation.
We should never forget: Change when change is hugely required.
Thanks and God bless.