FORGIVING SOMEONE WHO DID WRONG TO YOU NEEDS A LOT OF COURAGE.?
HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT ? DID IT SATISFY YOU?
Best Answer: One of the best qualities of a person is to forget and forgive the person who has done wrong to us.Though it is difficult to put in practice.
When a person has done wrong to us intentionally and with ulterior motive then it is all the more difficult to forgive that person and forget his/her misdeed. In this case, we would like to pay that person in the same coin but men with large /warmheartedness do otherwise. They would like to forgive this sort of a person and forget everything done. It requires courage indeed.
This is our common experience, more the intensity of the wrong done, the more severe feeling for revenge it generates. Notwithstanding the severity of the offense, a sincere feeling of forgiveness puts a person in the category of ‘compassionate one’. A humane consideration and empathy make much difference. The feeling of forgiveness and forgetting result when we have taken ourselves away from the feeling of reason (for reason tells us to teach a person lesson who has done wrong to us) or rationality and placed ourselves on the higher moral pedestal vis-a-vis the person who has wronged us.
While forgetting somebody’s faults, we’ve to either just forgive that person point blank or afford that person opportunity so that that person refines so as not to repeat that fault. The former course of action is a bit knotty and hard to put to practice yet if it is done then one takes himself/herself away from the mundane reasons and in case of later one confines himself/herself within reason and rationality or ifs and buts of it all.
But I am of the view that forgiveness should not be without making the wrong doer to realise his folly to avoid recurrence. It is with an intention to refine that person.
But for doing so, it requires sanity, courage and all other positive qualities mixed together. *
Forgiving (let go attitude) others wrong doings to us and forgetting their faults has been expounded in all the religious texts. These traits are the hallmark of a person who knows how to be adaptive to a positive change besides living a life without ill-will towards others. It is also a fact that forgiving others also affords us an opportunity that somebody else will also forgive us whenever we tend to commit something wrong.
As far as the question on: Have I ever forgotten somebody? Though while delving on this, I have to be out rightly frank and fair so that others believe what I say. Yes, I have done so. This happened after the marriage of my daughter. It was an arranged marriage as is a custom in our part of the world where girls though educated depend and accept the decisions of their parents.
Just on the day of the marriage itself (after the sacred rituals around the fire) and vows etc, the boy eloped with his girlfriend. A bolt from the blues for my entire family. We felt inconsolable. What about my daughter? She was really shattered. The journey of her married life had ended before even starting! That boy had not only deceived our entire family but also left a scar which was difficult to be filled. He had taken us all for a cruel ride – morally, ethically or even financially!
The best thing that one learns from the cruel incidences is that it makes us aware who is our true friend and who is our fair-weather-friend. We learned that amply. All this brought my entire family nearer to our CREATOR. Very near. He became our succour and helped changed our lives ultimately. It is well said; it is only in adversities that we learn our lessons under the able guidance of our LORD!. IT IS A TRUTH AND EVERYBODY SHOULD BELIEVE IN THIS TRUTH.
I determined to find the boy. He had taken his girlfriend to Mumbai; which I found from the mother of that boy – under the threat that I will be constrained to take the matter to the police. I went there brought both to our home place. Just asked him the following questions:-
If you had to do this with my daughter then why in the first place you agreed to marry her and ruined her life thus and in the process adversely impacting my entire family?
The boy and the mother had no answers. Thenceforth, we took the matter to the court for annulment of the marriage which was done with mutual consent. I forgave the boy and mother.
Now my daughter is happily married and has been graced with a daughter and enjoying everything which a married girl does with the grace of our Creator.
It may sound curious to know about the boy and his family. The girl with whom that boy had fled / eloped has left him with somebody else! Due to his escapades, the entire family business got ruined. His mother is bedridden. That is the result of a bad karma one has to endure. It also goes to show that in our Creator’s domain nothing is forgotten or forgiven if humans forget and forgive in true sense of term.
Thus forgiving others needs a lot of courage but when it is done its results are always beneficial for the forgiver.