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FORGIVING SOMEONE WHO DID WRONG TO YOU NEEDS A LOT OF COURAGE.?

20 May

FORGIVING SOMEONE WHO DID WRONG TO YOU NEEDS A LOT OF COURAGE.?

 

HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT ? DID IT SATISFY YOU?

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Best Answer:  One of the best qualities of a person is to forget and forgive the person who has done wrong to  us.Though it is difficult to put in practice.

When a person has done wrong to us intentionally and with ulterior motive then it is all the more difficult to forgive that person and forget his/her misdeed. In this case, we would like to pay that person in the same coin but men with large /warmheartedness do otherwise. They would like to forgive this sort of a person and forget everything done. It requires courage indeed.

This is our common experience, more the intensity of the wrong done, the more severe feeling for revenge it generates. Notwithstanding the severity of the offense, a sincere feeling of forgiveness puts a person in the category of ‘compassionate one’. A humane consideration and empathy make much difference. The feeling of forgiveness and forgetting result when we have taken ourselves away from the feeling of reason (for reason tells us to teach a person lesson who has done wrong to us) or rationality and placed ourselves on the higher moral pedestal vis-a-vis the person who has wronged us.

While forgetting somebody’s faults, we’ve to either just forgive that person point blank or afford that person opportunity so that that person refines so as not to repeat that fault. The former course of action is a bit knotty and hard to put to practice yet if it is done then one takes himself/herself away from the mundane reasons and in case of later one confines himself/herself within reason and rationality or ifs and buts of it all.

But I am of the view that forgiveness should not be without making the wrong doer to realise his folly to avoid recurrence. It is with an intention to refine that person.

But for doing so, it requires sanity, courage and all other positive qualities mixed together. *

Forgiving (let go attitude) others wrong doings to us and forgetting their faults has been expounded in all the religious texts. These traits are the hallmark of a person who knows how to be adaptive to a positive change besides living a life without ill-will towards others. It is also a fact that forgiving others also affords us an opportunity that somebody else will also forgive us whenever we tend to commit something wrong.

As far as the question on: Have I ever forgotten somebody? Though while delving on this, I have to be out rightly frank and fair so that others believe what I say. Yes, I have done so. This happened after the marriage of my daughter. It was an arranged marriage as is a custom in our part of the world where girls though educated depend and accept the decisions of their parents.

Just on the day of the marriage itself (after the sacred rituals around the fire) and vows etc, the boy eloped with his girlfriend. A bolt from the blues for my entire family. We felt inconsolable. What about my daughter? She was really shattered. The journey of her married life had ended before even starting! That boy had not only deceived our entire family but also left a scar which was difficult to be filled. He had taken us all for a cruel ride – morally, ethically or even financially!

The best thing that one learns from the cruel incidences is that it makes us aware who is our true friend and who is our fair-weather-friend. We learned that amply. All this brought my entire family nearer to our CREATOR. Very near. He became our succour and helped changed our lives ultimately.  It is well said; it is only in adversities that we learn our lessons under the able guidance of our LORD!.  IT IS A TRUTH AND EVERYBODY SHOULD BELIEVE IN THIS TRUTH.

I determined to find the boy. He had taken his girlfriend to Mumbai; which I found from the mother of that boy – under the threat that I will be constrained to take the matter to the police. I went there brought both to our home place. Just asked him the following questions:-

If you had to do this with my daughter then why in the first place you agreed to marry her and ruined her life thus and in the process adversely impacting my entire family?

The boy and the mother had no answers. Thenceforth, we took the matter to the court for annulment of the marriage which was done with mutual consent. I forgave the boy and mother.

Now my daughter is happily married and has been graced with a daughter and enjoying everything which a married girl does with the grace of our Creator.

It may sound curious to know about the boy and his family. The girl with whom that boy had fled / eloped has left him with somebody else! Due to his escapades, the entire family business got ruined. His mother is bedridden. That is the result of a bad karma one has to endure. It also goes to show that in our Creator’s domain nothing is forgotten or forgiven if humans forget and forgive in true sense of term.

Thus forgiving others needs a lot of courage but when it is done its results are always beneficial for the forgiver.

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14 Comments

Posted by on May 20, 2015 in Inner Thoughts

 

14 responses to “FORGIVING SOMEONE WHO DID WRONG TO YOU NEEDS A LOT OF COURAGE.?

  1. Yoshiko

    May 20, 2015 at 5:09 am

    Indeed beneficial for the forgiver. It does not mean for the forgiver to be cheated again. It is good to be prudent and wise.

     
    • Harbans

      May 20, 2015 at 7:04 am

      Mam thanks a lot for your prompt and wholesome response.

      ‘ It is good to be prudent and wise.’ is really a good piece of advice and worth following.

      Thanks again.

      :))

       
      • Yoshiko

        May 20, 2015 at 8:05 am

        🙂

         
      • Harbans

        May 20, 2015 at 11:35 am

        :))

         
  2. bettylouise31

    May 20, 2015 at 5:40 am

    Place your the problem in GOD’S HANDS and it help or go away.The only person who is is hatmed is the person who hates.

     
    • Harbans

      May 20, 2015 at 7:07 am

      Forgiving is in our hand being humans. Whether our Creator forgives and forgets is in His hands and I’ve experienced He never forgives a cruel person.

      My sincere thanks for your most appropriate comments.

      :))

       
      • bettylouise31

        May 20, 2015 at 2:13 pm

        You are welcome

         
      • Harbans

        May 22, 2015 at 7:15 am

        My gratitude. :))

         
  3. derrickjknight

    May 20, 2015 at 6:15 am

    Thank you for these thoughts Harbans. I’m all for forgiving, but I have a problem with forgetting. To me it is important to remember so that you know who you are dealing with. You certainly didn’y forget what that boy had done. You did what you had to do. You didn’t forget.
    Forgiveness when you do remember seems more generous.

     
    • Harbans

      May 20, 2015 at 7:13 am

      My sincere thanks for your most appropriate and inspiring comments.

      You are absolutely correct in saying that forgiving is in our hands but forgetting; we hardly can, if the incident is so daunting and impinging on our very existence. But leaving these two to our CREATOR just makes huge difference. The Cosmic Power of Spirit is more dangerous that the danger created by the wrong doer. In His domain nothing goes unnoticed. Good or bad.

      My sincere thanks for your most sagacious comments. Inspiring indeed.

      :))

      Regards

       
  4. Sharmishtha

    May 21, 2015 at 5:31 am

    I really am not very fond of runaway grooms or brides, especially those who all of a sudden remember their love after marriage, marriage is not a game to play, it is two lives (sometimes more) you are playing with!

    jerk! I am sorry for your daughter, glad that she found someone understanding! I am glad that you, she both forgave that idiot romeo.

     
    • Harbans

      May 21, 2015 at 6:57 am

      Thanks a lot for your kind comments.

      My intention was to convey that whenever we forgive somebody their faults GOD gives us everything in return; INCLUDING HIMSELF to accompany us and guide us till eternity!

      :))

       
  5. Ashish kumar

    May 22, 2015 at 6:43 am

    A nice post… I have also experienced in the past while forgiving to the mistakes…
    Yes its better to forget and forgive and move forward so that there should not be any kind of discomfort among us… But i would also like to say that forgiving should be done based on the mistakes which can be forgivable and not always… i mean the intensity of mistakes because few sins cannot be absolved…

    A very nice post Harbans which compell’s the reader to think while going through it… 🙂

     
    • Harbans

      May 22, 2015 at 7:14 am

      Ashish sahib thanks a lot for going through the question/answer explanatory note.

      The forgetting and forgiving may be small or a bigger one no problems. If you do so, GOD will certainly pay back. It will never be forgotten by GOD – OUR CREATOR.

      God give us everything without us even wanting, if we forget and forgive others. This is my personal experience. Not only in the instance case but many more experiences which I have had during my lifetime.

      My grateful thanks for your kind words.

      :))

       
 
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