Some of salient points on friendship.
Question is; when doubt haunts, where to go? Who could be there to fall back when all other channels of communication just fail to click? Either it is family /family friend or it is our own friend to whom we can bank on for pulling us out of such straits.
It is a fact that man is a social animal. Being so, man cannot content living in isolation. Social interaction for meeting his/her social, emotional and instinctive needs is a must. For meeting these obligations, sometimes, close physical presence is a must.
Friends are not available like market commodity – which we can pick and choose of our choice. What sort of friend we want to have, depends upon our intelligence, temperaments, cultural background, environments to which we are associated besides our financial status vis-à-vis our own position in all these factors. Although financial status is not of much value for a true friendship.
We’ve example of Lord Shri Krishna and Shri Sudama. Sudhama was one of the best friends of Krishna while Sri Krishna was at Varindavan and He showed that a true friend does not break his/her bond of friendship when circumstances are unfavourable. Lord Krishna met His old chum at Dwarka, paid him all respects – even washed his feet besides showering Sudhama with bounties on his departure. Fair weather friends are not reliable. They are your friends when you’re having everything and when your destiny is unfavourable, they conveniently turn their back.
It goes to show that a friendship require the qualities of respecting the privacy of others, helping each other whenever there is a need and also not forgetting the days spent together.
Then the much acclaimed friendship between Sri Radha Rani and Sri Krishana is based on simplicity, sincerity, truth, peace, selfless love, truth, service, and above all trust.
Internet has given us tremendous incentive to communicate with vast majority of people without physical closeness besides bridging the gap of distance involved. Here a queer sort of friendship develops; initially hesitatingly then picks up tempo depending upon case to care. This friendship also does not give credence to colour, caste, age, religion or any other consideration. While everything goes well, it is welcome. Although men are different in many ways yet none can deny oneness in each one of us. Humanity binds us together in its thread – basic human traits, instincts and emotions are fundamentally the same. These superficial bonds are broken by online net communication. For this we have facebook, skyp, wordsapps etc with whom we share or exchange or chat our ideas and communicate.
We hardly can communicate our inner conflicts, contradictions that we encounter in our day to day lives with a total stranger to whom you do not have much knowledge. Here care and caution has to be exercised that this online friendship may not cross the limit wherein we are duped by somebody unknown to us personally. If online frauds are any guide, we’ve to educate our children to keep a healthy distance from online cheats masquerading; awaiting with their sinister designs to strike. Online cheating has become a daily phenomenon. Hence it is all the more essential for us to be more cautious about choosing such friends.
According to the Bible: True friendship is characterized by love. The example of friendship between David and Jonathan is worth emulating. A true friend loves, gives sound advice, remains loyal, forgives, and promotes the other’s welfare when there is a need.
‘One who takes up a friend to please Allah, has reserved for himself a house in Paradise.’ Says the Holy Quran.
In Sri Granth Sahib friendship with women is mentioned as: “We are born of woman, we are conceived in the womb of woman, we are engaged and married to woman. We make friendship with woman” .
The Supreme Living Being is perfect in all relations with His pure devotee. Bhagwad Gita.
TRAITS OF GOOD FRIENDSHIP
Sincerity and friendship. Sincerity in friendship is one of the prime need. If we are not sincere in our words and deeds, our friendship is just a wafer-thin. To make it enduring and cementing, we have to bring in factor of sincerity as one of constituent.
- Selflessness and friendship. Selfishness and friendship do not go hand in hand. A friendship to be more enduring has to be erected on the edifice of selflessness besides and a firm belief.
- True friendship requires the qualities of head and heart. A good friend is the one who supports us instinctively and emotionally besides being intelligent to understand the needs of a friend.
- Healthy Criticism & Friendship. It is a axiomatic that we learn and improve ourselves if somebody criticizes our way of thinking, how best to adapt to a situation, failure to judge and perceive a situation. Only a selfless friend could do this.
- Does not show his/her back when we’re passing through adverse financial stringency. That friend should be all weather friend.
A true friend does not stand on ceremony on silly pretext.
- Trust and loyalty. Friendship is based on trust and loyalty. Whatever he/she does commands respect and his/her loyalty is never a suspect.
- Advisor when need be. A true friend listens our advice and whenever there is a need and takes advice from friend when required. In other words, it is not a one way traffic.
- Knows us thoroughly. A true friend is the one to whom we know thoroughly; weaknesses and strong points. If somebody tells us otherwise about that fellow, we will not believe that version of the statement since we already know ins and outs about a true friend.
- Forgiving and forgetting. A person who forgives and forgets our mistakes and help us to make amends in our way of thinking and acting.
- Friend is not Judgemental. He is the person who judges our thoughts and actions as per the importance it deserves – appreciates when appreciation is required but criticizes when healthy criticism is required for clearing the air.
Taking into account some of the factors cited above, we can have enduring and eternal friendship by adopting these points in our daily routines between:
- Friendship between Creator and creation.
- Friendship between two individuals.
- Friendship between husband and wife.
- Friendship between parents and offspring.
- Friendship between different counties.
- Friendship between strange individuals.
- Friendship between humans and animal / bird world.
- Friendship between sworn enemies based on respect and understanding for humanity sake.