How do I tell my parents that I have bad anxiety thoughts about them Like killings thoughts need help?

How do I tell my parents that I have bad anxiety thoughts about them Like killings thoughts need help? (A question asked by somebody).


6 answers



Accepting your bad thoughts means you want to refine these thoughts. It is really a good sign of your refinement. Only the resolute will from your inner recesses of your mind should come and show you the path for your overall benefit.

Having killing thoughts too is a sign that you were not fortunate to have good childhood – may be you could not get quality time from your parents due to their pre-occupation with their jobs etc or may be due to bad influence of your environment. Or still more, you may not have got good peer group. All these may have influenced your thoughts.

Now as you are very clear about your thoughts, you are the only one who could help yourself. First of all just tell your parents, they will be more than happy to pull you out of this predicament. No parents wants their children to be in anxiety and that too with ‘killing thoughts’.They will try every means at their disposal to help you including the help of some medical experts in the field but one thing should not be lost sight of that there is a solution of every problem, if and when we want to have those solutions!

I think, nothing is amiss as on today. You have positive views on life. God is great. He comes to the rescue of those who seek Him most sincerely. With His presence and association, we can solve any problem. Have sincere belief in Him and you will out unscathed. God bless you. You should also have a firm belief that ‘TIME’ is a great healer. *

*It has been observed that those who can decipher their thoughts, may be at times negative ones, can certainly mend their ways, follow the right path by shunning those negatively oriented ideas which are playing in his/her mindset. This could only be done through self analysis and introspection. This path though is strewn with thorn but once we follow this path with right earnest, the destination is not that far – a destination of self awakening and clarity of vision with God’s grace.

Harbans  · 6 days ago


Asker’s rating




Sincere word originated from Latin ‘sincerus’  meaning – pure, genuine, honest, upright, whole-souled etc. While transacting our duties, we adopt various methods in fructifying various tasks to be undertaken by us. There could be ethical or sincere mannerism and there could be corrupt practices adopted for doing these tasks. Although, in both, our assigned tasks  would  see the light of the day yet in former instance, we have adopted sincere methods (which gives us innate satiety) and in latter ones we have cheated or adopted insincere or dishonest methods (which  are unethical in nature) for success.

Sincere methods connote what we transact wholeheartedly with transparency, with genuine internal emotions and without any reservations. Not only internal emotions, our external impressions should be above board or sincere. These feelings could be tested and attested in any space and time. The earnest devotion bereft of any hypocrisy or feigning of any kind. Besides, requisite conditionality about sincerity is absence of any sort of misgiving in fulfilling a promise or the principle espoused is fulfilled without any deviation from the principles to be followed most sincerely.

While talking about sincerity, it  is pertinent to mention that the attitude  reflected ought to be beyond  any  shred of doubt. For example,  principle held dear by Aydhya rulers through ages were: RAGHKUL REET SADA CHALI AAYI PARAN JAYE PAR VACHAN NA JAYE’ (It has been the eternal tradition of the lineage of Lord Ram (Raghu Kul) To honor one’s word most sincerely, even at the cost of one’s life).

Sincere person could adjust in any  person and environment in which he/she is placed without much complication. There are people who remain sincere and steadfast to upkeep the integriry and honour of the motherland with sincerity and without any reservation even they could make supreme sacrifice for its cause.




Humans and the traits

Which we possess

Are due to the umpteenth

Experiences we gain

From childhood onwards

The upbringing we’re given

Impacts later part of our life

What we want to acquire

What we want to leave untouched

Solely depends on our value system

That we’ve gained from our parents,

Our friends and our environs

Formulate our sub-conscious attitude

Besides our behavior patterns

And enrich our inner voice

And become high in pure conscious

Related to inner and outer consciousness

Which enhances our sixth sense

Which is the result of our cumulative

Experiences that we undergo during our lifetime

Are etched in our subconscious

And proves its worth to us

When crunch time comes

Wards off the negative thoughts

Which stops maligning our character

And prevents a person from falling

Into the path of self destruction

And help maintain self esteem.

Self analysis also helps

To prevent us from playing victim on every failure

That we face in our life

Due to lack of confidence

And experience.

Self analysis also helps us optimally

Unravel our feelings factually

And devise measures

To bridge the gaps which prevail.

It is a tool to provide us sufficient willpower

To tap our inner potentials

To face the challenges of our lives

With head held high with our Lords graces.


Self analysis is a systematic attempt by an individual to understand his or her own personality without the aid of another person. We have to set a time table for self reflection or self assessment and devise measures so that corrective steps are initiated for rectification of the loopholes found.  This exercise could be done everyday, every week or every month suiting the individual concerned.

Self appraisal is also an honest attempt to know as to what sort of a personality an individual is presently and what ought to be in real sense of terms in the light of given situation and requirements. It ought condition being, it should be done without others’ assistance.  As we march ahead in time and space, there should always be change in our outlook and this could only be possible if we know as to what is lacking in us and what are our strong points. Pertinent to mention here that while doing so, we should leave all the confines of egocentric tendencies dormant in us which are becoming impediment in our all round progress and adding to our karma credit account.

Factually, we have to make systematic efforts  so that we enrich our body, mind and soul in whatever positive way we can.  Actually while  doing  analysis of ourselves, we should endeavour that show off for material prosperity and other ego giving parameters should not impede our furher march on spiritual plane and other aspects. Self appraisal should be done with utmost sincerity because purpose of this exercise is to ensure cleanse ourselve holistically – body, mind and soul and not be construed as a ritual and become a formality.

While doing this exercise, true purpose of our existence should never be forgotten.  From childhood onwards, each day spent  should provide us experience and we should learn lessons to be made applicable for us.  All the experiences that we undergo in our lives (good and not so good) provide us immense help in guiding us. The experiences also help us to gain impetus in our sixth sense – a silent power or extrasensory perception. This way our inner voice becomes stronger than what we hear from outside.

The sixth sense could do wonderful things in our lives. This was proved right by yesterday’s incident. In the morning hours, as i was going for my duties, i found a boy of about 5 years crying and runnig. He was about to reach the main road where there was too much of vehiular traffic, i ran after him, caught him and asked him about his parents. He simply pointed his fingers towards the opposite building – presently being used as a public toilet cum bathing place.  I picked up the boy, took him to the building he had pointed out. I contacted the incharge and enquired whether somebody had come there for the nature’s call. He checked and told me that nobody had come there. After waiting for about 15 minutes, i rang up the police so that the boy could be restored to the parents. I thought, there was also a school opposite. The boy could be from this school. I called the teachers and found to my surprise that that boy was the student of the school – just adjoining the place i was with that boy.  The boy’s parents were called and matter was also settled with the assistance of police. Question now arises, i had left the boy, as others around me had done then what would have happened? God knows what could have happened. Anybody could make intelligent guess – may be that boy must have lost for good. It was merely an inner voice which promted me to act the way i did. God is really great. The joy it gave me was obviously cannot be explained in words – really.

Not making sincere analysis of ourselves means living a robotic or mechanical life. Just pre-occupied with nitty-gritty of daily chores  which are transacted from morning to evening just automatically – eating drinking, making merry and nothing else. The way of eternal happiness or permanent joy and how to seek it never crosses our mind.  Due to lack of self analysis, we just start behaving like machines.

We ought to anayse what we have achieved and what is to be achieved in the days to come. What we have missed and how to retrieve all these for our overall progress bereft of any stress on our system.  Besides we become judgemental about others and become self righteous.  How best to eradicate these negative thoughts and make efforts to live god oriented life depends on us only. Nobody else can contribute much for us.

It should never be forgotten that we are the product of our  heredity and the environmet we are living.  Not only the present life and the environment in which we are brought up the past life’s karma too play their part in our lives.  Apart from this, we have observed that one of the child in the family may not like the profession being followed by others or the line the family want him/her to follow because of past karmic credit or due to reincarnation affect. It should never be forgotten that every individual in the family is distinct and have distinct traits despite biological  similarities.

Self appraisal helps to undo whatever transgressions we have intentionally or unintentionally. It should always be remembered that we sometimes do un unintestinally or still worse sometimes intentionally. Can this be undone? With determination and with resolute will, this could be done. We know how saint valmiki  (the author of epic Ramayana) changed himself. He pursued a sinful life. He looted people and fed his family from the loot he accumulated. Once he met Rishi Naradhji who asked Valmiki whether his family would partake the sin he was committing. He went to his home; asked his parents and his wife, who, without minecing any words told him that being a son and a husband it was his duty to feed them. They are not responsible for the sins he was doing.

When we analyse ourselves, we  surely will have a desire to change ourselves. Our shortcomings should not deter us from pursuing the course correction.  Being humans, we are having shortcomings and those shortcomings should be removed.

To conclude, it could be surmised that self analysis is a tool which straightens our resolve in solving the problems of our life by analyzing our weaknesses and strength and work towards eradicating the weaknesses slowly but surely. God may help us remove the obstacles and make our journey of our life smooth.





What had happened in the days gone by
Whatever is happenning right now, presently
What would happen in the choppy waters of future, so uncertain
Belief that what would happen would happen for our good indeed
Will finally bring about positivity to our frame of mind
Whence results are unfavourable
We put in still more effort
To make ourselves competitive and ready to act
To pass any impending test that life puts
If success kisses our footsteps
We feel hugely elated
If otherwise despite best of our efforts
Thence we feel excessively perplexed
Introspecting to whom to bank on in the situation presented.

Knowing well, we have exhausted all the evenues available
Persevered, worked hard thereby leaving no stones unturned
Now only option left with us finally
Is to decypher the inner voice correctly
And leave everything on the god’s bounties
And just introspect with cool headedly
That outcome was not in our favour basically
Because it was not destined to be so
May be negative outcome is appropriate for us
Success may have brought in its wake
More misfortunes than we could anticipate
Thus leaving everything on creator’s grace
Will pull us out of the predicaments we are presently placed.


It is a fact that the experiences that we acquire in our lives (good or not so good) makes us cautious about how to deal with them. If somebody criticises us unreasonably, we should actually take it as a blessing in disguise, with an idea that there may be some leeway to improve; that is why the criticism. This ought to be taken as a bounty from God for our improvement. Be it as it may, i consider it double whammy since it will afford us opportunity to improve our calibre and also a strong belief that our Bhagwan Ji too is with us in this endeavour.

There may be cynicism involved that when something happens, we have to withstand the consequences / outcomes,  favourable  or unfavourable. They think that whatever happens has to be borne without any demur by the concerned person.  They do not think that sometimes mystic hands too can play a part in rendering us succour and saves us from the impending predicament. This way, our belief in our Creator just gets soldified – that he can pull us up when need be with a belief that whatever happens, happens for our good.

If something appropriate happens in our life, we take it as the result of our hard work or still more, we think the good results were partly due to our efforts and apt situations under which we were placed. But when it comes to inappropriate results, then, we heap faultline on destiny or more so, on providence. We never realize that what has happened good or bad or what would happen would be good for us. It has also been experienced that if we put our best and sincere efforts and have total belief in god, then everything turn out to be in our favour but with a caveat, destiny can provide us things we want which surprises us many a times, but we have to make an effort to get it. For instance, if we are provided a plateful of pudding, we have to make an effort to eat it. It will not come to our mouth without  us making an effort. 

Even our creation, evolution and destruction are in our favour. When a child is born, it follows a fixed pattern of growth – childhood, adolescence, adulthood, youth, middle-age, oldage and subsequently death. Our soul (atma) being eternal, gets transferred and takes new carrier in its next birth. Every living beings, without exception,  follows this outline. Then according to theory of reincarnation, we die for a new beginning – meaning whatever chain has been created by our creator is good for us, proving that his writ runs large. We want it or not , just does not matter.

Having conviction, that whatever happens (success or failure) happens for our good. If we are having this belief, then failure will not be as daunting and pain giving as we think it would be otherwise.

Some of real-life incidences i would like to relate which happened in my life which has soldified my belief that the hand of god is real.

  • It so happened that i had cleaned up the flower pots, removing some of the earth from each of these so that these pots could be watered with ease and some of the water remains in the flower pots to maintain its moisture level for some more time. Due to my busy schedule, i did not get time to remove the bagful of earth for some days. Two days back, as i was busy writing something on my laptop, i heard a commotion outside my home. When i opened my main gate, i saw smoke emanating from inside the room where the electric meters and electric connections for six units of houses are installed. I saw people shouting, fire, fire, but nobody was doing anything to extinguish the fire that had engulfed the entire units of the meter boxes connecting main lines etc. To throw water on the live power supply was out, throwing sand or earth was the only option.

Suddenly i realized that we had a bagfull of earth. I runningly picked up the bag and started throwing the dry earth on the power units on fire.. Low and behold, the fire started dousing and dimming on the portion i was throwing the dry earth. A further furtive effort extinguished the fire in next eight minutes. What a relief we all got when the engulfing fire was put off. What if the fire could have remained for next ten more miutes? It could have spread to the entire units of houses and the plastic wires could have given boost to the spread of fire. 

Then i introspected that if i would have disposed off the bag full of earth what would have been the fate of the houses in my neighbourhood, only option was to wait for the fire brigade or the people from the power department who, anyhow, reached after 20 minutes! And in 20 minutes, the the fire must have engulfed the entire buildings. I also must have been helpless spectator like others who were only crying hoarse but doing nothing tangible for dousing the rampaging fire. I reached to the conclusion that whatever happens or done or undone is good for us ultimately with the grace of god.

  • While waiting for a bus ride, i missed an opportunity to avail the bus to go to my destination because it was full to the capacity but i could have adjusted, if I wanted, but I decided against it – may be due to some internal cues. I had to wait for next half an hour for next bus ride.  On the way, when our bus stopped, we could know that something amiss had happened. There was a tragic accident in which all the 60 passengers died. To my utter horror, it was the same bus which I skipped about an hour before.  I would have been amongst the dead if I would have taken a ride an hour before. I was fortunate but not the others who were there on the fateful bus. What it proves
  • My four years grandson had a sudden small cut while playing with his toy. When i asked him what had happened, he most innocently replied. God has punished him for his fault – meaning doing something untoward brings in its bad results. His simple reply surprised me immensely. Even a small kid believes that if he does something bad God will punish him. Meaning there is a lesson in this small incident – good or not so good. Besides whatever happens is due to Him. It is for our refinement. Nothing else.




Strange is the mystery of relations indeed
Some relations are by birth – a gene connect
some are firmed up with sound rapport
Others just develop love at first sight, paheli nazar par
  These  relations prove unique in long run
More enduring than genic one.

All relations in the household
Guarantee cohesive hold
Whenever there is sudden calamity
All equally share the pangs of that adversity

Also protecting the more vulnerable deftly

                                                 While challenging the challenges befallen

Thus all come out of the blues with the grace of Lord.

Of all the relations that we consider much-loved
Mother’s is the most sacred of all
  A child may act sometimes deceitfully
  Amata cannot act as a kumata, anyways
will have always a soft corner for her progeny
  Achild may treat her mother badly

Due to one pretext or another surreptuously
May be it is due to greed for property
Or any other reason whatsoever
Mother being number two in the family
Has important part to play for all the relatives
Just imagine a situation that emerges
When her role as a homemaker is not recognised
Whole the family members feel its pinch
Also families where mothers are not respected
It surely cannot be a god’s abode.

Father is the important component of the household
He is a privy to all the important decisions
impinging on the family’s future
This way, he becomes the leader of the family as a whole
He is the custodian of the family’s wealth, too
He is responsible for all the things
Which a family does or does not do due to some reasons
Whence his writ is not acceted
Or somebody else usurps it
Family as a whole suffers immensely
When he is discouraged by anyone in the family

Then there is all pervasive negativity in the family.

Offspring make the family proud
By shouldering responsibilities the parents assign
Firstly by learning the value systems
Thence finishing schooling as a good learner
In the process be disciplined pupil
Thenceforth go amidst the people
To serve as a professional

For which he/she is competent
Thus serving in the best traditions
Learned during studentship
The traits of maintaining a healthy
Balance in the work-life thoroughly
Thus becoming the beacon of light
For the family and the community
Thus earning name & fame not only for the family
But also for the community of which he/she is a part
And cannot be disassociated
As there cannot be any disconnect
Between nails and the flesh and blood
Doubtlessly two relations are the most important
One which gives birth – the mother
And the other one who comes to our lives afterwards

That other one is our consort – our life partner
Thus completing a full circle of our reltionship
Which binds us together with a common thread
Whose strength and cohesiveness is determined
By the unity an integrity of all the units of family combined.

The worldly relationship that we’ve in the material world

Are only temporal in nature and impermanent

The eternal relationship is between the creator and the created

Which is established when we dutifully

Fulfill all our worldly duties most sincerely

And in the process earn his love eternally.

HOLY QURAN emphsises : God has created laws and rules that govern our relationships in order to maintain balance and proper functioning. As far as human relationships, we should follow the model of the universe.

Bhagwad Gita asserts: So just ignore the negative traits of a person & Love that person unconditionally; just like a mother Loves her children, ignoring the negative traits & tantrums of her children.

THE BIBLE’S goal is to guide you up the path of Selfless Love. God is Selfless Love, and our goal is to become like him.

ਦੇਖਿ ਪਰਾਈਆਂ ਚੰਗੀਆਂ ਮਾਵਾਂ ਭੈਣਾਂ ਧੀਆਂ ਜਾਣੈ
“Men should look at the opposite gender as mothers, sisters and daughters, (women should look at the opposite gender as fathers, brothers and sons).”



It has been observed that it is most tedious job to develop relationship but easier to break the same. The relation is developed slowly, taking into account all the details which are considered important for life. The relationship is cemented with a lot of efforts taking a lot of time and sincere efforts but is broken very easily just instantly – sometimes without even a second thought.

The factors which assist our relationship to be more enduring are annotated below:

  • Having total confidence on each other.
  • If difference creep in, the same are to be sorted out amicably.
  • Relations are developed with ‘giving’ and not ‘taking’.
  • Be reasonably prepared for making amends in personal behaviour, when needed.
  • Helping others when in need,
  • Meeting other’s demands,
  • Feeling pain when other feel pain,
  • Being compassionate,
  • Having helpful disposition.
  • Be flexible always.
  • Forgetting and forgiving when required.
  • Trusting or having belief in others.
  • Love is a cementing factor which should spring from our inner self for others.

The break in relationship is due to the following factors:-

  • Single most enemy of the friendship is egocentric tendencies.
  • Skepticism on a drop of a hat.
  • Not forgiving others’ indiscretions.
  • When we rely more on our mind thereby use of our senses and less on our heart.
  • Distrust is the enemy of our relationship.
  • When selfishness takes predence in our life.
  • Greed for worldly possessions disregarding any other considerations.
  • Anger divides us.

The relationship could between the family members or friendship developed with others in the community could be lasting when there is solid and sincere belief in that relationship and could withstand all sorts of storms. This relationship could be that of grand parents, parents (mother and father), offspring, friends, etc.

Whereas a fragile relationship cannot withstand the onslaughts of adverse ‘time’.