ON EVIL OF CHEATING

I recently found out my boyfriend cheated on me, so I broke up with him, any advice is appreciated :-(?

(AS ASKED BY SOMEBODY)

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Answer

Best Answer:  First of all, it is rather fine to have broken up with such a person who could have not remained faithful to you. The sooner it is to leave this as a bad dream, it would be better for you. And you are fortunate to have found out about his cheating. If you could have found it after losing yourself in the bargain then what?

Advice for future:-

1. Develop friendship with the one who understands you thoroughly.

2. Confide everything with your boyfriend; to the extent possible since things can otherwise also trickle down which may cause problem.
3. Less expectations.
4. No too much of whining if some things go wrong. Think why and how things have gone to that pass. If things could be put back on rails do it. Otherwise, leave it.
5. Do not carry baggage from your past, It may cause problem for future friendship.
6. Have total belief in yourself and your new friend.

 

Asker’s rating *****

 

ON EVIL OF CHEATING

He that walketh uprightly walketh surely: but he that perverteth his ways shall be known.…….Better [is] the poor that walketh in his uprightness, than [he that is] perverse [in his] ways, though he [be] rich.

When there is cheating in marriage, the act not only violates the terms of the contract but also the law of Allah. 

A right thinking person gets exasperated even merely by the whiff of uncharitable incident to happen. The impending event when saturated with vicious attitude, exhibition of quarrelsome behavior on silliest pretexts; stage managed by individuals with self aggrandizement as the self-goal is counter productive. Such events may be fleecing others’ possessions through fraud thus acting like a leech, sucking the blood of victim – without even a second thought about ethics or moral standpoints. This is the play of KALI YUGA at its worst. Here, it is not merely the paradoxical and flawed handiwork of human behavior but also runs counter to all norms of human behavior. It also puts roadblocks in denying opportunity to the individual for refinement through repentance for not repeating such misconceived acts.

Better still are the animals who give second chance to their victims in comparison with the cheaters who seek for their potential victims for cheating for personal gains.

We humans are endowed with different sorts of tendencies. There are the ones who would go all out in assisting others even at the risk of their own lives while there are the ones who do not think two hoots  about others’ welfare; at the back of their mind is  self interest and nothing else. Such people may or may not harm others in getting their things done but sure enough they’ll get their own things done anyway. Third types are those who go all out in getting their agenda fructified even at the cost of others. For them, nothing matters  except their selfish motive. For  them even though  heaven may fall on the earth yet their agenda of high value selfish motive goes unchallenged– come what may!

Tendency to dupe others or hoodwink others by putting others in the dark and earning dividends/reward which otherwise is not theirs in real sense or terms is their religion. This unethical and unsavoury demeanour of humans cannot be considered humanlike. Such people are the cheats.

Cheating is a dishonest or incencere act by an individual  or a group of individuals in order to get undue pecuniary benefits or gain, in the process, hoodwinking others by playing hidious trick. Cheating could be of many types:-

• Cheating In the examination. Some students use unfair means in order to get through examination without burning of mid-night oil.

• Cheating while fixing marriages. It has been observed that some resort to telling lies while fixing marriage of their children. This too is a cheating because the marriages which are fixed on cheating cannot be successful. Sand foundation cannot sustain a healthy building.

• Cheating in gambling match. Cheating has been used to dupe others to garner money from gambling match. Shakuni cheated Pandavas and won everything including their wife Drophati which became the cause of the downfall of Kauravas.

• Cheating for personal gains. By defrauding or through double crossing others in order to gain – using anything or everything except honesty. He cheated his own friends of what he had got. I have seen people defrauding others for personal gains – a corrupt practice.

• Cheating by the unscrupulous Businessmen. There are the instances where the unprincipled retailers fleece their customers by promising something which fall short on their delivery. This way the customers feels cheated.

• Cheating by our close relations by misrepresenting facts. A close relation who could manipulate the home deeds or house ownership rights by ulterior motive. This sort of cheating is rampant.

• Cheated even death by escaping from the certain death! There are certain accidents in which all the passengers die expect for one lady; she could elude even the death.

• CHEAT who could swindle money by breaking some law for earning undue money.

• Getting Undue Reward By Personal Dishonesty And Trickery or misrepresentation of facts.

 

A PERSON WHEN BORN IS MORE OF LESS IS FREE FROM ALL IMPURITIES, THEN HOW THE TENDENCIES OF LAW BREAKERS OR EXTREMISTS OR TERRORISTS ARE INFUSED IN A PERSON.

Why do I keep watching gore?

 

It’s not that I enjoy it but for some reason I watch things like elevator and car accidents, executions, and suicides. It’s nasty but I always feel drawn to watching it. I don’t feel the desire to do it myself nor do it for entertainment but I do it anyways. I also think it’s despicable to enjoy gore but I watch it anyway. I don’t like SUPER gory thinks like mutilation or torture just the mild things. Is this normal?

Answer

Best Answer:  Despite the fact that you do not like the suffering inflicted yet you view the scenes of sufferings like car accidents, executions and suicide scenes. After watching these scenes, do you feel pain yourself or remain unaffected or would like to suggest others not to commit suicide or any other positive change that undergoes in your system? If such feelings do arise after watching the scenes, then there is nothing wrong in you. On the other hand, if you remain unaffected after watching such scenes, then you will have to change your mindset.

In the mean while for the purpose of utilizing your time purposefully, have some good hobbies, reading, writing, or any other which suits your temperament and put your full potential to these for diversion sake. Also, devote sometime for prayers. It purifies our baser thoughts.

INNER THOUGHTS

Harbans .· 3 months ago

Asker’s rating:****

A PERSON WHEN BORN IS MORE OF LESS IS FREE FROM ALL IMPURITIES, THEN HOW THE TENDENCIES OF LAW BREAKERS OR EXTREMISTS OR TERRORISTS ARE INFUSED IN A PERSON.

 

PURITY OF CHILD AT BIRTH

A person when born is without any negative tendencies. He is pure in every way. No ego, no heightened emotions. No feeling of highs and lows. His needs are fulfilled by mother or other members of the family as and when there is a need or when the child cries. Then how come, he becomes a criminal or a law breaking criminal or a sinner to that matter? This is a bit baffling and seemingly the question is a bit tricky. There is no particular cause for this. There are multiples of them which influence an individual to follow criminal tendencies or otherwise.

IGNORANCE IS THE  REAL CULPRIT

All impurities we usually speak of, are  caused by ignorance. And in that sense, a child is not born free of impurity, because it is born ignorant – an inherited one. We are born with a certain baggage of inherent traits, that seeks to manifest/fulfillment in the new life! Of course the surroundings in which we’re  born will have its effect on the life of a person.

SOCIAL IMPACTS ON THE CHILD

Truth is one is born with genetic and instinctive memories, which are part of life forms. Tendencies and traits are related partly to the inherited memories. In life, man faces various challenges. Some challenges are purely personal in nature but there are also the ones which are thrown by others; sometimes with negative connotations. The individual concerned either fights these or seek escape route through short cuts. It may be against the Law. To deal with such cases, social order is established based on the need of the society as a whole. Laws are formed and everybody, perforce, has to act according to those Laws governing the state. Ignorance from law hardly provides us immunity from its enforcement if we transgress it.

SHARING THE NATIONAL RESOURCES  

Then we get opportunities to share the national resources. Those who are proficient are able to garner adequate means of livelihood but those who are not knowledgeable commensurate with the demand of a particular job requirements miss the bus and thus are left to fend for themselves.

Then there are the ones who despite being knowledgeable and adequately proficient but still are left high and dry. These brackets of people being adequately knowledgeable could identify themselves as social outcastes and more often than not challenge the prevalent laws and tend to make a space by following negative oriented lifestyle; corrupt practices to keep their foothold in the society for earning power and pelf for themselves. These people, many a times, exploit the loopholes in the Law to their advantage and hoodwink the law enforcement agencies and judicial system. For every crime, a witness is required for the justice to be handed out. Then there are the ones who are mentally inclined towards crimes, to watch gore or violence is their passion. only a few grudge such life like the one mentioned in the question answer. we’ve observed how most educated ones even holding MBA degrees resort to crime to get rich soon.

Thirdly, there are some who are constrained to live in penury and lead a life of want and hunger. These sorts of people either suffer from mental infirmities or simply do not want to transact anything. They want everything on the platter simply by doing nothing at all.

VARIOUS POWER CENTRES AND THE INDIVIDUAL

Power instruments of Religion; Political; Economic too play their part. These instruments could be used for  gratification and aggrandizement which becomes a cause for wayward attitude. When these instruments of change are used one against other then there is differentiation and dissatisfaction between the masses In the present conditions, ideals are utopian and unattainable.

CRIME PERPETRATORS IN THE FAMILY

If crime runs in the family, a new born can inherit those qualities just as a child inherits the qualities of decent people. But why speak of children? Grown up young people also fall for some preaching that appeals to them which is called radicalization. Brain washing can be done any time on a person. Also, why only criminal or terrorist activities? Politically also people are made to follow certain principles of a certain party. There are many tribes whose sole profession is to loot others and eke out a living out of it. That is why we have so many leaders of so many parties with their huge numbers of followers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ON SELF LOVE

A SELFLESS LOVE

A love where we prefer losing
A love which is not demanding
A love which knows only sacrificing

A love which gives joy in giving
A love which teaches us ethical and moral values of living
A love which is beyond any suspicion

A love which paints everyone with humane touch
A love which gives a sublime attitude a gentle push
A love which has Divine grace for its success under all conditions.
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A love which dies not at all
A love which broadens its base without bias
A love which gives lasting synergy even in bad state.

A love which cares not for caste, color or creed
A love which excels in every way we feel
A love which kindles trust amongst soul-mates.

A love which is eternal and supremely magical
A love which is not theatrical
A love which is God sent and not mechanical.

A love which asks nothing in return
A love which burns all suspicions in turn
A love where differences get resolved on the basis of trust.

A love which cares not, even if the ultimate result is supreme sacrifice
A love which showers only fragrance

A love which emanates from our inner self.

A love which remains unaffected as time passes doubtlessly
A love wherein even slippery time puts its indelible stamp of its immortality
A love we would like to quote for its sacredness oftenly.

Loving  others is synonymous with cementing relationship

But loving one’s own self is easily said than done

As love is a very sensitive and unconditional

It has to be pure and sincerity attached

The person concerned should also be pure in all manifestations

Purity in thoughts, habits and actions

Person concerned has to rid dross and impurities

Cleansing all the negativities from the system

By imbibing spirituality as the way of living

Thus associating our Creator with everything done or undone

As self love has sacredness attached with it

It can make residency in the heart

Of a person who is sacred in nature.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Gautama Buddha

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” – Mother Teresa

“What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things, instead of using people and loving things.” – author unknown

ON LOVING OURSELF

Loving our own self is hard since it is easily said than done since we do no know about own self including our mistakes, weaknesses, negative outlooks, besides we are not self aware . Loving ourselves becomes reality only when we cleanse the dross that is there in our system. We can insinuate and criticise others for their faults or flaws along with give them pience of advice for overhaulting their way of thinking. Behaving and attitude but it is much difficult to do so in ones personal life.

For self loving the following steps could be assiduously followed so as to insulate ourselves from the outer influences which tarnish ourselves. If these steps are taken sincerely, we can keep ourselves away from flaws and cleanse our system.

SELF WORTH

We have to ourselves close the gaping holes in our personality in order to improve ourselves. Others may know us only through our interactions with them. The gaping holes could be plugged by our self analysis about the plus and minces that lies in us. These minces could be converted by us by following right path. We have seen how a rocket follows its assigned course if all its internal systems are functional in its enterity. A slight malfunctioning of minutest part (even nuts and bolts) means rocket deviates from its assigned trajectory and complete mission fails. On the similar lines, our body constitution functions. All systems should work in tendem and for that we’ve to make sincere effort to cure the fault and go with the life’s pulls and pressures. Self worth could only be known if all the parameters are functional to the perfection. Knowing our self worth also includes how much we can change the lives of others around us – in coming to their rescue whenever required. It hardly means one is able to influence things in our favour only.

TO BE SELF AWARE

Second step is to be sure about what we can do both for ourselves and for others despite impediments which come in our path for a forward movement. A person who is self conscious does not want to do anything which may harm others’ interests. In that if that person will have to withstand any diverse situation he/she will go to any length. A self aware person is also very spiritually awakened individual with a most compassionate outlook on life.

SPIRITUALLY INCLINED LIFE IS BEST ONE FOR OVERALL DEVELOPMENT

We should have firm belief that when nothing works, spiritual ity works wonders for us. Being spiritual signifies living a life bereft of attachment towards material possessions therebygiving more credence to religious values. Spiritual life means living in higher levels of consciousness with the usuage of meditation and other related tools like yogic practices. Spiritually inclined person connects with god, is more near to nature besides being self aware becomes double whamy. This way the person concerned establishes a balance in mind, body and soul. Spirituality leads to eternal vitality and graces us with peace, tolerance besides patience in all situations in which we are placed.  A person who leads a spiritual related life may experience hardship in the initial stages of life, but ultimately with the passage of time hardships just evaporate in the thin air and gives place to eternal peace – despite ups and downs that life brings forth.

Bhagwat Gita states: The person who remains alike in pain and pleasure and remains unaffected and does not get disturbed by sense objects becomes eligible for emancipation.

It goes to show those who are spiritual are peaceful, very quiet, gentle and have equanimity in both happiness and sadness. There may be hard times but in that situation even they will celebrate their religious functions with enthusiasm and zest. Those who live according to spiritual  ordained life will have resilience in day to day actions. Doubtlessly those who have suffered eternal misery do possess eternal  vitality.

Systematic and proactive following the spiritually rich knowledge given in different religious texts help cleanse the grey areas of inherent knowhow  and help remove the misconceptions we nurture during interaction with our fellow beings. Thus the treasure of spiritual knowledge from different sources assists us in focusing and utilizing our energies for getting eternal benefits while performing our day-to-day routine duties.   All these give fillip to our inner potentials besides giving us self belief.

 LEARNING TO SAY SORRY IF SOMETHING GOES  AMISS

In life we interact each other and during this process, we something antagonise others with our words and deeds. Other times, there is ego clash resulting in breakdown of relationship. A person of solid character does not lose himself/herself in the bargain thus does not desist even for saying sorry for the lapse. This way that person clears the air for proper relationship to flourish.

FOLLOW A POSITIVE LIFESTYLE

In our lives, we come across various types of people with different outlook in life. People who may focus more on the negative aspects or are recycling / immersed on their past events on which they hardly any control or may be unduly worried about the things to come in unforseeable future. In their quest for anticipation of future, they lose focus on the present moment which is within their reach and could be locked for action. Meaning they remain gropping in the past and future and hence are in quandary as to what to be done to restructure their state of mind and thereby their life. For this to become reality, we have to first of all be self critic – roadmap of what to be done and what to be avoided have to be devised and then followed very strictly will surely realize our dream.

NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND THEIR INFLUENCES ON US

We come across people who are filled with negativity. No amount of persuation or advice will change their mindset. They are hauty, stubborn, and above all pigheaded. Their single point agenda is to spread the spectre of negativity wheresoever they put their foot. We should maintain a healthy distance from them. Our company influences us a lot. In the company of gamblers, we cannot be called as noble souls.

SOMETIMES SAYING YES IS BETTER THAN SAYING NO

It has been observed that sometimes we do something which we do not intend to do. By doing so, instead of creating goodwill, we give hadle to others to critize us on the matters on which we are not responsible at all. Care and caution have to be exereicse in such contingencies lest somebody is taking undue advantage at our cost. We shouold stand our ground when there is need for it and not get swayed by emotions and harm our reputation.

Our karma according to our capability and not to put ourselves in too much pressure. Life should be taken as a festival and should be lived as such.

If we bite more than what we can digest, then sure enough  we would be putting ourselves in difficult situation.

OUR CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY

Evidently, we are the product of what we transact – good or not so good. We can feign to be good while it is otherwise in real sense of terms because that can be found out sooner than later. Therefore, we have to devise our character by exercising control on our mind and thereby form thoughts, habits and attitudes accordingly.

REMAINING BUSY

It has been seen that those who use their time judiciously and productively do not come to grief any time. In this respect, the adage ‘an empty brain is devil’s workshop’ sounds good. By remaining doing one thing or other keeps our mind pre-occupied and we do not get any time for negative diversions.  Iron is rusted when kept idle for sometime but a used one could last for any period of time is the another example similar is the case with us.

THANK GOD ON DAILY BASIS

We should always thanks god for everything that he has blessed us with. By doing so, we establish our link with our creator and do everything in association with him. By doing so our path for self love would be established with the ultimate indelible stamp of god.

MORE INPUT FOR SELF LOVE

Know thyself first. The first and formost thing is to know yourself before you delve into spirituality.

Have belief. Self beiief is a must. If you just recite some prayer, have belief that it is being reeived by your creator. Mind you, our creator is very benevolent, if you put one step, he will put ten to reach you. Sure enough, do it practically and see the difference.

Make your prayer very simple. Do not utter high sounding or high profile mantras / prayers. What he appreciates is your sincerity in prayer and not the complexity which may confuse you and as well as your creator.

Never doubt. Kindly do not doubt whether your prayer is being heard or not. It will certainly be heard if you believe that you are honest in your prayer.

Time. It is not that you will get result very soon. It may take sometime. Our lord wants to test us that how long and how much you can seek him and see he always is there with you while you are seeking him.

When in peace. Remember whenever you are at peace with yourself, it means our lord is with you.

Love others as you love yourself. Never hate others.

Shun ego and proceed further in life.

 be compassionate towards others.

 

 

ON OUR ATTITUDE

Where does our disposition come from?

I usually greet people with a smile. To a fault. I am. almost always respectful and try to put people at ease. The other’s self esteem is important to me so even when i need to be critical of a.m mad I try to reach for an olive branch of honey.

I know not everyone is not like that. Some are too shy or to angry. Trust me, I have been hurt so I get it on level but I can’t understand that desire to not find kinshio

Best Answer:  From The account you have given, it is evident that you have all the positive qualities that are required for a happy living and also for a purposeful living. In life if we have such a disposition, we can be adaptive to change anywhere and at any situation in which we are placed. Even if something negative happens, you are, with such disposition would be able to adjust by making amends. God bless. Therefore, our disposition partly comes from our own inner potentials and partly from the circumstances in which an person is placed.

INNER THOUGHTS

2 months ago

Asker’s rating : ****

Positive attitude as mentioned in Bible, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

OUR ATTITUDE

We are the product of our own philosophy of thoughts

Positive thoughts give us inner strength

Negative ones take away

Anything and everything that we’ve gained anyway

We form habits by repeating

A thing a number of times

Through our sweet will sometimes

Other times in moodiness in which we’re positioned

Then from time to time we agree

And other times we agree to disagree

Depending on situation in which placed

Or preference of certain arrangement

Willingness for which comes from inner recesses of mind

A very carefully crafted and executed habit

May instill confidence to the individual concerned

And may earn respect in abundance

It is also a tendency to act in a certain way

Under different sorts of circumstances

Which defines our character composition

Or mood which we habutually form

Same sort of situation may bring about

Different sorts of dispositions result

Some sunny and others not so sunny

But main thing stands out clearly

We ought to control our dispositions quite cautiously

And refine these accordingly

Feeling pain habitually when others feel so routinely

Thus desist from getting satisfaction from others’ suffering 

Which depends on our attitude mostly

Formed with our own freewill oftenly.

WE ARE THE MAKERS AND MASTER OF OUR ATTITUDE

FORMATION of our attitude takes its birth from origination of a thought. Then from thought to action to repetitive action helps in shaping our habit subsequently formation of our attitude. Thus attitude formation is partly thought oriented and partly individual oriented. Due to this, attitude differs from person to person. Importantly and undeniably, difference in attitude depends on the circumstances/situation in which a person is brought up {value system one learns from home (parents and other members at home)}, environment in which an individual lives, of course, including neighborhood in which one is brought up, type of schooling which one gets educated besides the effect of peer group along with the teachers’ having lasting impression / influence that a person is exposed to, in school, college, university or any other formal institution. Though the influence of informal institutions (Church, temple, play grounds, clubs. Community association etc) in shaping our attitudinal behavior can hardly be disputed.

POSITIVE THOUGHTS LEAD TO POSITIVE ATTITUDE

It has rightly been said that as we think so we become. Thinking is the initial spark that we generate in us for any tangible thing to be transacted. It is the one which helps in making our attitude. Our attitude to face life by unlocking our inner potentials arise out of our positive thinking only. It calls for slight shift in strategy, by changing our thoughts first, we can change our attitude. Anybody could make huge difference by changing thought processes and then our attitude towards anything that we deal under the sun. Thus, we can gain divine spark in our attitude by removing the dross that clouds our thinking.

When a child is born, it does not have any sort of attitude. His/Her attitude gets formed slowly but surely when the child gets in contact with relatives and well-wishers and also his/her surrounding in which he / she is brought up. Feeding positive thoughts forms positive behavior thus positive attitude.

On the other hand, negative thoughts results in germination of negative attitude in the child and the child grows to be an indisciplined individual.

ATTITUDE AND INHERITED TRAITS

Attitude also is developed from our natural traits or inherited traits, our reading of the life and viewing the world through the life situations and people we have encountered or come across, our level of awareness etc. Generally, behavior starts based on the lineage to which one belongs. But, in certain respects, attitudes become acquired as one grows up in age. As a result, persons tend to shape themselves on their thought process and in this regard some persons develop a positive attitude towards life and some persons develop negative thoughts – despite family influences. We’ve seen families with very good attitude towards life, their offspring grow to be negative oriented or vice versa. This seems strange but it is a fact. Therefore, the only reason for the attitudinal behaviour of a person will have to be traced to the way in which he desires to shape his life vis=a-vis family trait.

THREE TYPES OF ATTITUDES TOWARDS LIFE

There are three types of individuals, Satvik who are always positively oriented want themselves and others happy. They always have positive thoughts and thus positive behavior and attitude. People with this trait are spiritual in nature; knowledgeable in every aspects of life. Persons with Tamsik traits are reactive in nature. They want to be in grief and want others to be in grief – always negatively oriented. The persons with Rajasvik traits, have the trait of ruling others, possess prowess, are physically and mentally tough including the quality of head and heart. Generally ruling classes are of this trait.

PLANATARY POSITION AND ITS AFFECTS ON THE HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

IT is well known that the ocean’s tides are regulated in accordance with the cycles of moon and sun but the tides in human behavior could not be forecast so easily; whether their behavior without any outer influences or not cannot be scientifically explained. But there are sure links between human behavior and phases of the moon and planetary cycles – there is inseparable connection between humans and the cosmos.

Traits of a person are individualistic in nature; depending on circumstances factoring the formation of our thoughts, habits and ultimately the attitude. These are of following kinds:-

1. Introvert and extrovert attitudes.
2. Rational and irrational attitudes.
3. Reasonable and unreasonable attitudes.
4. Simple and typical attitudes.
5. Conscious and unconscious attitudes.
6. Positive and negative attitudes.
7. Fearless attitude with solid belief in God’s grace in any situation.