WHAT WHEN SOMEBODY BELIES OUR CONFIDENCE?
BREACH OF CONFIDENCE/TRUST
It is important to note that breach of trust is personal or subjective in nature. Some may feel when their confidence is broken others may partly feel while many others may not feel its pinch at all. Expectations from anybody to a limit are tolerable but when it goes on the tangent then we have to change ourselves and try not to take everything seriously which comes our way otherwise this may impact us physiologically and psychologically.
Great epic Mahabharata clearly gives us a wonderful insight into the fact as to how deception, deceit and belying of confidence of others could bring about deaths and destructions. The Pandavas, the sons of King Pandu, lost their every bit of possessions, jewelry, race horses, including everything which they possessed.
Shakuni had such a magical dices, by the playing of which every bit of wager went in his favor. After having won every bit of possessions, Shakuni promised to return back everything lost if they wagered their consort Draupadi. At this late stage, the Pandava brothers could not retrieve their steps as it was the custom of the Kshatriyas, they were constrained to continue till the end. All these acts were transacted by belying the confidence of Pandavas.
Having lost everything including their consort Duryodhana, the elder son of Kaurava King Dhritarashtra wanted to teach a lesson to Draupadi for insulting him once. He wanted her to be disrobed publically in front of elders of the family including Beeshma, Drona, and Kripa but Lord Krishna delivered her of this misfortunate but as a result had sown the seeds of war between the armies of Kauravas (who were known for their treachery and deception).
LOPSIDED VIEW OF OUR LIFE
There are the people who do not know the real purpose of their life on this planet. They placate their ego by amassing riches without realizing that this life of ours is an impermanent one thus they live in self-deceptive stance. In Bhagavad Gita it has amply been made clear by Lord Krishna as to what is impermanent and what is eternal. Those who know these realities attain knowledge of immense importance. Our body is destructible but the soul which dwells in this soul cannot be destroyed. Those who do not act on this reality live in the unreal and deceptive world. Harming others by design or to intent to harm others for personal gain is self-destructive.
NECESSITY OF HAVING CONFIDENCE
It is truthful that the affairs of any household, neighborhood, community or country cannot run smoothly without confidence or faith on others. We simply trust others that is why we feel confident to deal with others. Nothing could be transacted without mutual confidence and trust. Confidence in others is one of the important constituents of our dealings with others. It is a two-way traffic – based on quid pro quo. In other words, if we trust others, it is natural that others too will trust us.
It has been ordained in Bible: God seeks those that will stand in the gap and repair the breach between God and man as well as between men. These are men and women that continue to move forward no matter what. These are men and women that know how to rescue opportunities out of adversities. These are men and women that are committed to making each other whole. These are men and women that are like God.
We have the confidence on the driver of the bus we ride for a safe journey to our destination. If that driver breaches our trust and suddenly jumps out of the bus fearing loss of balance by the bus and let the passengers plunge into the deep gorge. He saves himself from death or otherwise but has surely breached the trust of the passengers and those people who witnessed that accident. Similar is the case with a drowning warship whose commander himself to drowns with everything that is in the ship including its crews.There are several examples where a warship, in active action, is hit and all its occupants took watery graves in the ocean. That is the saga of the true heroism.
BELIEF ON OUR TEACHER OR GURU
The Guru or teachers or preacher should have our confidence. One of the best known Gur Mantra is Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu, Guru Devo Maheshwara. It is in the praise of Lord Brahma (Lord of Creation or procreation), Lord Vishnu (Lord responsible for evolution what has been created) and Lord Shiva (Lord responsible for destruction for further procreation). We trust our Guru, teachers or preachers simply because they mold our destinies by imparting knowledge thereby we take up various vocations or avocations or innovation apart from the inculcation of spiritual understanding. If the Guru or the teacher, to whom we send our children, breach our trust or confidence then what happens? When our expectations are belied, we feel let down. It goes to show that we should not blindly follow somebody until such time we know his/her background and conduct so that we may not have to be disappointed besides being painted when we find ourselves ditched. We should actually experience life by living ups and downs/vicissitudes of life. This way, we can be our own teacher.
PARENTS’ CONFIDENCE ON SCHOOLS THEY ARE SENDING THEIR WARDS
The life of seven years old named Praduman was cut short by a bus conductor in one of the schools in Gurugram recently. This is largely due to a breach of trust or confidence of enormous proportion which the parents had in the school as a whole. Nothing can assuage the emotional disturbance of the parents who had lost their loved one but it is the fitness of things if a thorough investigation by a reputed agency is done so that such grievous incidents do not recur and in each case guilty is held accountable and punished. A thorough audit of the security aspects of the school should also be conducted so as to avoid recurrence.
Be that as it may, it is evident that we trust others simply because it is for our own benefit, but sometimes, we have not to seek or aspire for benefits in order to gain others’ confidence. If we have to suffer to win others trust, that is up to us after going through all imponderables under the prevailing circumstances.
In Holy Quran, the essence of life has been written: ‘and fulfill the promise, surely (every) promise shall be questioned about.’ O you who believe! Fulfill the obligations…..and the performers of their promise when they make a promise…
There are some conditions which are necessarily very important while we have faith on others. These conditions are:-
- Why we should trust some. There are cases where we are constrained to have confidence on others otherwise this world of ours cannot be run smoothly.
- Confidence on our Bhagwanji/Creator. It is well said that when nothing moves there is the mystic spirit which comes to our succor when every other person ditches us.
- Why we should not trust some. Experience is the guide when we trust others but still, they belie our trust. This is applicable in our relationships in the family, in the neighborhood and between members of a community or even between countries or in the workplace too. When a country believes one country and that country stabs us in the back by breaching our trust.
- Track record of the person concerned. It is paramount that we see the track record of the person concerned and then form an opinion whether to trust or otherwise. It is certainly not one-way trail.
- Trust impinging on our life. We have to trust others when it comes to our personal relationship such as we’ve to believe our offspring, our parents, our blood relations etc.
- Trust others whether one trusts us or not. There are times when we have to maintain our confidence even though others may or may not trust us. Others may give the lie to our confidence but we’ve to teach a lesson to the concerned person that truth always wins in the long run; deception does not.
- Expectations on others. It is paramount that we should not have much expectation from others since if these are belied then we feel very suspicious on the human psyche.
- The choice is on us whether we want to believe or trust others. It is also a truth that if we do not want to trust others, nobody can force us. But there is a caveat, we can hardly transact anything tangible by remaining detached from others?
Conclusively, it could be construed that when our faith or belief or confidence reposed on others is breached, it hurts us immensely physically and emotionally. Therefore, it is the fitness of things that we keep our mental balance despite provocations. This is a reality of life, we all have to experience and live with. If somebody trusts us, it is all right, if does not, it is also all right but we’ve to continue doing our right Karma with detachment. But if still somebody belies our trust then only way left is to leave everything in the hands of Creator who will certainly deliver us from everything negative.