While passing through a marketplace, I observed two fruit hawkers. There was a huge customer traffic with one hawker whereas there was none with other. I was curious to know the reason for this flurry of activity at one of the vends and none with other though with almost the same quality and price tag to each of fruit available for sale. I ventured to discreetly ask the idle hawker as to why no customer is coming to him. First of all, he was evasive but when pressed, his language and style of conversation gave everything out. He was very impolite, curt and disrespectful even bordering on abusive. When I started my conversation with another one, despite his business with the customers, he respectfully wished me good morning and asked me what he could give me from the fruits he was having? This spurred me in writing this blog.


In public speaking, the correct and appropriate use of language, the style or modulation in which we use that language, the right words and phrases we use count a lot. For instance, if we want to ask somebody; what does he want? it could be spoken with direct and raised voice or spoken with politeness.  Here the choice is entirely ours. We would be known for our interaction in conversation – knowing full well that nobody wants to have business with a person impulsive temperament. Our spoken words should have magnetic attraction rather than repulsion to attract more people towards us.


Essentially, it is also a fact that nobody wants the conversation with a person or group of people who effuse negative from the word go. We should always keep in mind that none has time to refine our language and the demeanor we exhibit. We are solely responsible for your own action or inaction and are constrained to suffer its consequences too.  This is so at our own home, workplace, formal and informal institutions or in business forums. The choice of words and the language to be used exclusively depends on us. It should always be borne in mind that the words are spoken from the tongue and the arrow coming out of the bow can never be retrieved. It has to hit the target and we have to be ready to face the music if we have used revolting language.

In Bible it has been emphasized: The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught.


It should also be remembered that public speaking or conversation can help us catapult to new heights of glory or pull us down to abysmally low level in any venture we put our hands on. If we are delving in business, we have to use polished and elegant language which could attract customers to us. In other words our wares and our words, both should be polished and unadulterated then only we can be the successful businessman.


It is not that every time we would be received with open hands. At times, we have to listen to unpleasant, unprintable language or at times disgusting remarks. We have to be patient, being reactive can be disastrous for us. Wait and watch attitude makes a huge difference. If this too does not work then acceptance will work but the reaction is no solution to the unpleasant situation. We can come out of the piquant situation by remaining calm and composed. We are down but not totally out. Patience always pays whereas being reactive cannot pay at all? Giving abuse in return for an abuse can bring about no solution to the gnawing problem.

In Holy Quran it has been emphasized: He (Allah) has created man from a sperm-drop; and behold this same (man) becomes an open disputer!


Positive and polished use of language in conversation can always bring positive results for us. At times, there may be some drawback or pinpricks but after sometimes positive utterances bring about positive results. This way we can save our association and connectivity with anybody and everybody. The taut and violent besides negative style of interaction is enemy number one of the relationship. It snaps our friendship with others and thus is harmful ultimately.

In Bhagwad Gita it has been mentioned that a person should remain non-violent in speech and in action, should have the purity of experience, should remain truthful ever established in knowledge and should desist from being angry while conversing or dealing with others.

­Following should be kept in mind while having conversations/interactions with others:-

  • Introspect before speaking – toll moll ke bol.
  • Never be reactive – it could break the relationship.
  • Use correct accent and cool demeanor while speaking.
  • Use of correct words and phrases suiting the time and space is a must – we have to use the language the others could understand.
  • Everybody, even a small kid, wants respect should never be forgotten. Pay and get respect should never be forgotten.
  • The suave and cool positive language can fill warmth in our relationship.
  • We want to have communication with other for our benefit therefore right use of language is a must.
  • It is up to us to take our association to new heights or abysmally at the lowest levels by the use of good or bad language. The choice is with us.
  • Angry use of words bring in its wake reprisals – never converse while in bad mood.
  • Forgive others’ mistakes God will forgive many of ours.



The way we speak or converse with others counts a lot

The choice of words or phrases we use counts a great deal

Conveying our points of view in a way we want to put across

With others for communication

For understanding others’ viewpoint

Depends on our own wisdom and those of others with whom we converse

Bad communication leads to bad relationship growth

Between the two parties having confabulation

Beating about the bush or conversing without introspection

Takes our relationship to bushes

Of uncertainty and impulsive state in relationship

Impulsive use of words and phrases

Along with condemning others at their back

Backfires on us sooner than later.

Sound conversation reflects our sound mindset

Whereas scattered mindset leads to unsound dialogue

Will sometimes, lead to dull and dreary monologue

Snapping the thin fabric of our association with others.

Where so ever and when so ever we meet someone known or unknown

We should choose the right words to be spoken

Because we would be assessed according to our conversation

Words which reflect haughtiness and egocentricity

Or malicious language will bring in its wake enmity  

Will earn us no friends in our vicinity.

Then we should always remember one sagacious claim

Never pay lip-sympathy to others

Because it will be found out sooner than later

But make use of compassion

And understanding as the basis of your conversation.

Our conversation should effuse positivity

Words which make others unhappy

And saddening should be avoided to the extent possible.

The body-language we reflect through our body postures

Also gives out our state of self-confidence and self-belief

Sagging and drooping shoulders’ demeanor is a revelation of negativity

Straight and upright postures give out positivity.

Thence we’re in the habit of distributing like we give out unwanted gifts

Advices and suggestions as if we are sharing

Stale sweets which nobody like taking

These should be given to those who are in need of these

Otherwise, all our efforts will be stonewalled with unpleasant results.

Self-important or pompous discredit others in front of others – a sigh so showy

To enhance their score of popularity

But factually they do not know that they are showcasing their vulgarity.

When somebody is condemning others unreasonably

That fellow should be heard with rapt attention even if undeservedly

There may be something positive for us to improve upon emerging

Even minor contrarian talk could produce results so encouraging.  

Our conversation should be a admix of humor and sagacity

To make the atmosphere light and conducive

But we should avoid being verbose and talkative

To make the conversation dull and boring

Also never be taciturn or too much reserve

Which may be construed as being self-centered

So as to make others turn their back on us.  

A soft talk is like a soft walk

Both could be carried on and on for a long spell

Without making the subject tired

Or to others around feeling bored

Besides touching the inner chords of our heart the most

Serene Water runs deep is a time-tested maxim

So is the discussion done with sincerity?











Published by




  1. What we speak reflects our inner mindset. We converse with others in order to establish relationships so it is a must that we use refined and polished language besides positive language in order to convey our viewpoints. Kindly appraise the blog and comment. I love your comments on my inspiration. Regards.

    1. Derrick sir thanks a ton for your appraisal and invaluable comments. An inspirational indeed, as ever. You act really my inner strength. Regards

  2. Well there is a lot to consider there. Thanks for the offering which is going to take me deep into introspection. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”- Jesus of Nazareth

  3. Good morning and thanks for this great article my dear spiritual friend across the oceans. It is funny but I’ve had a longstanding disagreement with a very nice and intelligent lady-blogger from Munich because I did resent her (and her blogging friends) not-polite, excessively casual way of addressing me in her commentaries.. She wouldn’t greet me properly as “if she were speaking to her canary in a cage.” I did relay that metaphor to her and even though she initially got angry, eventually she came around and became more civilized. She still sneers at my “touchy formality” but I couldn’t care less. We must treat people he way we like to be treated. And we must fight back the incredible rudeness and vulgarity of present day communications, which has been promoted as “the way young people talk” Let me assure that my kids never talked like that and if they did, their parents would correct them immediately. I am sure your children did not either..I like the comparison to a soft walk. Yes, you and I can keep chatting like this for a long time my friend.. But I have to get ready to go to work as I am not a privileged retiree like yourself. Not yet at least. Arrivederci!

    1. Good morning Dr. Sahib.

      My gratitude for appraising my blog and offering your invaluable commentary – a sagacious one at that. Your mention about the lady blogger and her impoliteness. The value system is learned over a period of time. There are the people who shadow their actual traits thus lead a dual lifestyle should be taken as such.

      The present day communication is lop-sided and lacks substance. The responsibility for imparting good manners and correct use of language depends on the circumstances at home in which a child is brought up and also on the environs which influence that style of use of language.

      My children are really gentle in their traits and soft in their communication.
      Dr. sahib, after my retirement from my regular service (after serving for more than 39 years), I got employment the next day of my retirement – retired on 31st Jan 2011, got meaningful employment on 1st Feb 2011 as I believe the day we consider ourselves retiree, we are just gone.

      Thanks for your most meaningful dialogue.


      1. Yes sir, that is what I like in you. I want to remain active till my last day. My father who was a 1st WW veteran remained active up to his last day when he died at the age of 95. I too want that. I consider inactivity as another death.

        A warm hug


Comments are closed.