What we learn from our parents
We become ultimately
If quality time is given to our offspring
They will mirror that attitude outside their homes
Ignore them when paying attention is needed
They’ll themselves be spoiled
And will embroil in pointless turmoil
Negatively impacting the harmony at home.
Whence the spouses have differences aplenty
These ought to be sorted out amicably.
When the grown-ups progenies
Do not care their old-aged parents
And leave them at the mercies of elements
They are not the candidates
For the blessings of our Creator
And ultimately, they’ll meet
The same fate
When they themselves grow old
As Karma always haunts us finally
We reap what we sow ultimately
Establishing deep rapport between all concerned is a must
For a relationship for the win-win situation.
THE MEANING OF RELATIONSHIP
Essentially, first of all, it is important to know what a relationship means. A relationship means having an association, affinity, liaison, a correlation for a purpose. In order to have cordiality and harmony in our relationship, we have to have trust with each other, compatibility, understanding, positive attitude, appreciation of others’ viewpoints et also that the relationship gets solidified and sanctified no extraneous force can influence that relationship. The extraneous factors could be in the form of bad-mouthing, misunderstanding due to some unfortunate incident, etc.
RELATION BEYOND BLOOD RELATION IS POSSIBLE BY THE GRACE OF GOD
It is beyond doubt that human blood holds no narrow sectarian divisions. The human blood holds the key for knitting a bond between the communities. Humans are the best creations of our God. Here blood relation or otherwise hardly matters. The following instance holds good.
A Hindu and a Muslim husband had kidney ailments and required immediate transplants. Respective wives agreed to donate their kidneys for their husbands. But there was the problem of blood group compatibility. The problem could only be resolved if each woman donated her kidney to the other’s husband. This was only the only possible way to save the lives of respective husbands.
After hectic consultations with doctors and husbands, it was decided to transplant the kidneys of each others’ donors. Thus the successful exchange of kidneys to both the patients (belonging to Hindu and Muslim) saved the lives of both the men. This proves that there is no difference created by our Creator. The differences are created by humans only – our own creation. Only the human mind holds the key. We all humans are linked with each other with a common thread with our Almighty God as the final arbiter and not based on any sectarian standpoint.
WHAT WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN AT HOME THEY WILL REFLECT THOSE TRAITS OUTSIDE
A few days back, I was witness to two incidents wherein I came to know how much the parents could influence their children positively or negatively. A revelation or manifestation, how their wards display their general behavior outside their homes. It has been observed that our children imbibe those qualities which we teach them. Yesterday,
A student of 8th class was hit by another student on the forehead due to which blood started oozing from the wound. Necessary medicare was provided instantly. Both the parents were called to the school along with their respective wards. While deciding on the quantum of punishment to be awarded, as a deterrence, the head of the institute asked the student who was hit on the forehead a question; ‘Should we expel the student from the class for hitting you’? The boy respectfully replied, ‘No sir, I do not want the student to be expelled from the school since he will not be able to appear for the ongoing unit tests’ and continued, ‘this will also put a stop to his studies’. All of us were surprised after hearing the reply from the student. His parents too did not want the student to be rusticated. They wanted the concerned student to be forgiven and allowed to rectify his behavior and nothing else. The parents of the unruly student were influenced immensely. They repented for not giving right value system to their ward and promised to do so in future.
In the second case in point, it so happened that a student was caught red-handed taking money from other student’s bag. The concerned teacher asked the mother of the child if she had given her the money which was found in his pocket. The mother flatly refused having given the money! That is the example others too should set. Later on, the child confessed to having taken the money from other student’s bag and he promised not to repeat this in future. If only the mother had told the teacher that she had given money to her son in order to save him then it would have set a bad example. The boy would have been reckless in his demeanor because of protection by the parents. Even the father did not hide his discomfiture and wanted to refine his son. A relationship between the parents and offspring is, therefore, based on mutual trust and the parents should make concerted efforts to noticeably improve the behavior of their children.
From the two incidents, it is evident that what we teach our children at home is reflected outside. If we teach them the traits of tolerance, patience, persistence and above all forgiveness, they will follow those traits and behave accordingly.
PAST SHOULD NOT HAUNT OUR PRESENT RELATIONSHIP
There are times when we come to know some past event, which has the recipe of adversely affecting the relationship, just try to forget that past event. Or make it a habit to clear the air between the two parties so that that ‘event’ may not tarnish the relationship so assiduously nurtured and established. It should always be remembered that doubts and skepticism are the enemies of relationship.
EFFECT OF HIDING ANYTHING FROM OUR PARTNER
Never ever hide anything from your partner because if the reality comes to the fore after sometimes, it may come in the way of establishing cordially in the relationship. A chasm may be created by this thing even though seemingly so innocuous.
WARMNESS IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Lip sympathy will not help a relationship to flourish. A healthy relationship could be established only when there is sincerity of purpose in everything we are undertaking.
IN RELATIONSHIP DIFFERENCES ARE SURE TO BE THERE
It should always be remembered that in the relationship, there will not be rosy days always. Some differences may also creep up on silly pretexts, do not allow those differences to simmer on but let those differences be solved peacefully on the principle of giving and take.
DIFFERENCES SHOULD BE SETTLED AMICABLY
There are times when we come to know about things from others about your partner, then, the same thing should be discussed with your partner and confidence established for a healthy living.
It should also be kept in mind that relationship is not a one-sided traffic, both sides have to wear the brunt of the situation in which they are placed. It is not that one partner may put up everything and the other one is not caring. The relationship can flourish when both partners are enthused to live life with complete understanding and comes to each others’ succor/assistance whenever there is a need.
SMALL THINGS SHOULD NOT BE STRETCHED UNNECESSARILY
Sometimes we let ourselves swayed by small things which could otherwise be forgotten thereby spoiling the peace and tranquility of the household.
NO TRIBUTION IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Never ever pay back in the same coin. The relationship will run smoothly when you let go sometimes. It should always be remembered that peaceful co-existence is the key to the success of any relationship. The alacrity with which a difference is settled peacefully cannot be settled in anger or through emotional perturbation.
If and when some important matters which has got implications on the entire family, should be discussed and the final decision has taken so that no party feels let down by the final decision reached.
NO IMPOSITION OF OPINION
Never impose your opinion on your partner. It will boomerang ultimately. Both the partners should grow together holistically.
Surrender control, let the natural process come to play – total control may take the relationship stiffing/suffocating.
Let the opinion be exchanged in a congenial atmosphere – the opinions of other partners should be respected.
The sincerity of purpose should always be there in whatever is being transacted which has bearing on another partner.
There are times when controlling emotions and highly reactive situations have to be done, if the situation goes off the tangent, due to one pretext or other, it is bad for the healthy relationship. There should be a limit to this. This far and no further should always be there. One of the big spoilers of relationship is emotional perturbation. Never ever let it go off-tangent.
LOVE is a binding force in any relationship, let the fragrance of LOVE flourish in the entire household. It is a panacea for any relationship to be successful.
Learn to be tolerant and have the principle of let-go always. These two are essential for any successful relationship.
We should always see the life as a unit and not in a compartmentalized segment.
Develop the relationship slowly but surely – brick by brick and cementing it with the potion of LOVE, TRUST, APATHY, FAITH, BELIEF, TOLERANCE, LET GO ETC.
ADDICTS SEEK PLEASURE IN INTOXICANT WHEN THEIR RELATION DO NOT CLICK
There are occasions when we do not get our relationship in order, we seek recompense in drugs and other intoxicants to forget our state of the relationship. These, instead of making the relationship click more roadblocks are created in the relationship.
THE EDIFICE OF RELATIONSHIP ARE CREATED BY MUTUAL TRUST
It should never be forgotten that relationship amongst blood relations, in the society or in the international sphere could be developed through our understanding by the instinctive connect without any discrimination of any kind. It could be the relationship as readers of others’ write-ups or exchanging ideas spreading wellness amongst all.