Question: Don’t we feel a panic feeling whenever we think about our old parents? Is not it necessary to take care of parents in their old-age? What is your idea about births and deaths?
Affirmative, all of us should be concerned about our well-wishers and when the question is about the wellness of our parents, we have to be extra-cautious and all the more concerned. Naturally, we panic for their well-being as and when our thoughts go to them. It is as a result of our emotional bond which we possess since we are part of them and also we are due to them. But the word ‘panic seems to me a little hollow sort of a feeling of an offspring for their parents.
Our parents look after us from the time we are conceived and then born, The mother withstands so much pain not merely on the birth of a child but also looks after while closing her eyes to all personal comforts. The parents bring us up by meeting our requirements. These needs may be with regards to providing care and protection during childhood period, transferring of value system/traditional modes of behaviour, meet our food and clothing requirements, our schooling/educational needs, meeting all our legitimate needs within their control. For the fructification of our needs, they not only spend the energies but also their earnings collected over a period of time.
Essentially, while our parents have nothing (neither health and money nor other resources), they need our care and protection in their old-age. We, as their progenies, have to provide them care and protection. in their old-age. Given that they have grown old and infirm with not much finances left but everything they had has been spent on us only. Now it is our time as grown up offspring to pay back.
There are parents whose progenies are constrained to leave their homes and hearths because of their employment to eke out a living for their families. If the employment is within the country where parents are living, then the offspring are required to take their old parents along so that their needs could be met as and when these arise. The old parents not only require constant attention but also want love of their children. This is especially so when one of the spouse has died. The things could get compounded or spiral out of control when the employment is in the foreign lands and where due to VISA restrictions, the parents cannot be taken along or if allowed could stay only for a limited period of time as per rules and regulations of the countries concerned.
In this sort of a scenario, the following could be of help – not holistically but to a limited degree to ameliorate the predicament of the progeny outside the country:-
- Contact should be established with the parents on regular basis without any break, preferably. on Skype or any other modes of internet connectivity.
- A close relative or a trustworthy friend could be requested to visit the parents on daily basis to look after their daily needs.
- The parents should have financial security in their old-age. A fixed deposit of corpus of fund should be opened for them which may facilitate and help them in medical emergencies and other contingencies t=which may arise from time to time.
- A female maid should be employed for the parents to take care of their needs. This should be done after thorough checking her antecedents through police.
- The parents could plan their visit for a limited period of time as permitted by the countries concerned as per the rules and regulations of that country in which the offspring is staying for employment purposes.
- The employed children could pay a visit as and when leave is granted by the organization. Every employee is entitled/authorized to get some holidays in a year. This could be planned in such a manner that periodical meeting with the parents is made possible. But this could be done taking into account the schooling etc of their own children too.
- If one of the spouses could be spared for meeting the parents, it should be done on a periodical basis.
- The festivals are the occasions which call for meeting of all the relatives and well-wishers. Therefore, important festivals should be celebrated with the parents so that they also participate in the celebrations with their children and grand-children. What a treat it would be for the old-parents.
- For the offspring’s’ who is serving in foreign countries; in the event of a single spouse; male or female, the problems such as sadness or depression related to loneliness or solitude may set in. In such situations, if it is possible to take the single parent to the place of employment in the foreign land then it should be done, the quicker it is done the better.Given that the lucrative jobs cannot be acquired with ease, it is also a fact that our parents cannot be acquired again, if they are left to fend for themselves. Or otherwise, if need be, the offspring should leave the employment and seek an appropriate employment in his native country. This is the most convenient step which should be pursued especially for our parents due to which we are here on this beautiful earth. Care for old and ailing parents overrides everything else should never be forgotten.
- It is unfortunate travesty of fact that some of the offspring, leave their old parents or single surviving parent to the care of old-age homes even though it may be by payment of monthly expense? Riding rough shot to our own parents is worst to say the least.
- They should set aside some holidays to cater for unforeseen contingencies, severe illness of the parents or any other emergent situation if and when created.
- Instructions should be conveyed to keep a health-check of the parents, periodical basis so that the medical aspects of the parents are not ignored. Ensure that medical report is communication to the children concerned to be updated about the parents health state.
- The parents should be able to speak to their grand-sons or grand-daughters preferably on daily basis. This helps in bestowing a modicum of positivism in the parents.
- Finally, it is a fact that no one amonst us have seen God, therefore, God for us are our parents. Therefore, they should not be ignored. Those who do not love their parents cannot love God at all. Also, God will never forgive such offspring who ignore their parents.
While having or thinking about this ‘panic’, we should take into account the philosophy of life.
The one who is born on the earth
has to leave this beautiful earth
after his/her time of leaving comes
In fact not the proficient doctor
Or a expert Guru
Can change the course of births and deaths
It may be our closest friends
Ours most sworn enemies
Or even our parents
Due to blessings of those two
We’re here on this planet
We all have our own lives to live
And also different dates to die
Except for accidental deaths
We all have our different destinies
Hence different ‘time-lines’
To live on this earth
And depart from this earth so beautiful
That person may be me, you or everyone around us
The dye is cast already
To live and die
Care how, why and when!
This death may visit us
While still in the womb of our mother
Or after we are born
Or in any stage of journey of our life
A young offspring could lose his life
Before the parents, so old
This is all destined
And for it all
We’ve got no control at all
If still you’re having ‘panic’ attack
For your parents, the dearest ones
Just do not have this pain of panic———————–
Because this panic will become
A hurdle for further movement
For the smooth journey ahead
Impacting the future of loving parents too.
Therefore, be near them always, because it is our responsibility to render a helping hand when they require us the most. We should not ignore them at their old-age since they had not ignored us while they looked after us when we needed the same the most.
As far as I am concerned, I reckon that both births and deaths should be given the same credence since after our deaths only, we shall be getting new births. It is just like shedding our old clothes to put on the new ones. But grieving over the deaths of parents is a natural phenomenon since we cannot do anything about it because it is so ordained. But looking after our parents while they live is our duty. It should never be forgotten. We have not seen God due to whom everything has been created but we know due to whom we are here on this earth, therefore, it is our bounden duty to respect them and care them while they need it the most.