It’s difficult to be anything tangible without desire
Firstly thoroughly going through
The nut-bolts for making the same realized
But with calm and joyous mentality
Because to be so we’ve to leave many things
Which all consider essential for our living
To be bereft of desires
We’ve to have detached attachment
Love your work but without setting limit
To be boundless, fearless and carefree atmospheric
Creating our own sphere of influence full of joy
For a positive outcome, which has to come anyhow
But without losing humility
With annihilation of ego
God glow increases
Even after stellar attainment
Thinking self as an instrument of change
But God being the architect of this change.
Attachment with the results of our action
Brings about distraction
Prevents focused attention
Because control button
Just gets lost some place unknown
When we focus more on our desires fulfillment than
action.
When we do not get
What we actually want
The side-effects that we get
In the process is anger
Because getting our desire fulfilled
We consider life & death
Just leaving the idea
To try again to get something we desire
Or better still having clear cut plan
To try again
But our desire so fervent
Prevents us from focused attention
On the nut-bolts of job at hand
Rather than result of our desire
When we fail to fulfill the desire
We lose inner strength to try again
Thus our power to do notable tasks gets misplaced
Which thereafter may take us to our downfall
If we’ve control over our mind
Then if our desires are not met
Then we shall not feel bad
We become bereft of any desire
A state of becoming detached
We shall earn something very incredible
Connectivity with our Creator
Thus a concrete windfall.
Then the repression of our desires
Will prove disastrous
Can create disturbance
Thus losing our balance of mind
Thus increasing the passion of our anger.
When we are desire free
We may success or fail
Will not make any difference
Then our negativity will
evaporate
And there would a return of positive mentality
With generation of unlimited
energy
With love, light and feeling
of empathy.
ON BEING WITH LESS DESIRE : DETACHED ATTACHMENT
The word desire means what we want or what we wish or what we crave or craze or long for. But when this crave or craze becomes obsession then it is too much or too bad for us.
Importantly,
it is not that we should not have any desire, we should have and we should work
sincerely in achieving the same. But when this desire takes the form of
obsession then it is too bad. Excessive desires and excessive expectations puts
extra burden on our shoulders. This burden may be, sometimes, more than what
our shoulders could handle.
It
is also important to iterate that when we have excessive desires and
expectations not only from others but also from our own self, when our expectations
are not met then result is not a rocket science to understand. In pursuit of
their fulfillment of such desires, we go all out in fructifying these desires.
When these desires do not meet our expectations then we get reactive, get angry
at the person concerned from whom you expect those desires to be fulfilled and some
of this angry reaction is also recoiled at us individually.
This
‘too much’ expectation or anticipation
creates confusion in us to get the intended desire fulfilled creating reaction in
the form of anger impacting us physically and psychologically. Here need is to keep a complete sheath on our
desires and move ahead desire free to work in free atmosphere and fearless
environment.
When
we desire more than what is needed for and from our offspring, then, sure
enough, unforeseen problem arise. We feel let down or slighted when our
expectations are not met. It is axiomatic that we should let our children grow bereft
of any fear then our children will have all round development. A case in point
is a student in our neighbourhood, she is studying in 8th standard. The
mother wants her to score 100% for which she adopts all sorts of stratagems. Instead
of having focus on the study, her focus is more on 100% marks. All this
highhandedness has robbed the peace of mind along with free flow of knowledge.
All these irrational methodology brings about physical and mental adverse affects
on the child.
We
are slave to our wishes and desires though irrational and uncalled for. This does
not ensure free flow of knowledge and information thus all round development of
the child is impeded.
For
example, we expect too much from our offspring and they do not come to our
expectations then this too much becomes too bad. Similar is the case with
expectations from our friends and well-wishers.
When
we meet all the wishes of our children – more than what they actually need.
This act of giving too much becomes too bad when we do not have much to give
them. Then these very children curse us for not meeting their demands –
unreasonable ones because by meeting their irrational demands, we’ve set a bad
precedence and now we’ve to face the music the hard way.
When
we give a long rope to our children and spoil their habits, this, in the long
run proves counterproductive.
In life we need to have concrete desire in order to get our desires fulfilled.
But this desire should not be boundless/limitless. There are set limits under which we’ve to work. Excessive
desires or desires which are only to placate our egocentric tendencies are
dangerous in nature and their end result are negative effects on our physical
and mental state in the form of anger and other negative repercussions.
We’ve to set our limits but not lose sight of love and joy while sincerely
fructifying our desires; just boundless, just desireless, just without
showcasing our prowess, free of fear, free of any coercion, free of any
distraction for the fructification of task in hand. Working in this way, we
shall work in an atmosphere of love and joy in the partnership of God. Anything
done with the partnership with God brings about compassion for others, love for
others, understanding for others thus an immense inner energy is generated
which in fact is incredible for us ultimately.
What course of action I should take when my boyfriend has left me saying I am not good enough now? (As asked).
DECEPTIVE PERSON
From the question, it is evident that you made a
grave mistake in choosing a friend who tells you that you are not ‘good enough’
now. Why did he cultivate friendship with you in the first instance? A good and
reliable boyfriend is the one who stands by you always. Not the one who just
leaves you whenever he fancies or chooses to do so at his sweet will without
taking into cognizance the emotional pain, one sided snapping ties gives. And when
the boyfriend, just point blankly, tells his girlfriend that he does not like to
continue the relationship since he finds her ‘not good enough’ which is
obviously very unfortunate.
The so called friend of yours does not want to
continue friendship with you may be due to the following reasons:-
He being a selfish and deceptive to the core, must have developed friendship with some other girl, just to dupe her too in the later stage as such people cannot be trusted at all.
Or he must have some ulterior motive or maybe you
must not have submitted to his whims and that is why he does not see you ‘good
enough’.
The words spoken by this unprincipled fellow are reprehensible and therefore saying good bye to such fellow is only alternative. Seemingly he has lost his mental balance.
Or reason may be any, which you certainly be knowing but how to come out of this is the moot point.be Difference do arise in any relation but these relationships should not spin out of control but sorted out within time and space.
The so called friend of yours does not want to continue friendship with you may be due to the following reasons:-He being a selfish to the core, must have developed friendship with some other girl, just to dupe her too in the later stage as such people cannot be trusted at all.
Now remember only the bitter moments with this unscrupulous
fellow since remembering these moments will enable you to recollect the
selfishness exhibited by this fellow.
I am of
the view that a person who can tell you on your face that ‘you are not good
enough’ can think of anything or
transact anything good or worse.
Just try forgetting all the memories of this
spineless fellow who does not know the importance of a friendship therefore
does not deserve your friendship.
Ignore this inconsiderate fellow as though he does not exist for you now.
Do not have any connectivity with this fellow. If you
are working in the same organization then maintain only working relationship
and nothing else.
The world is wide and have several choices and
opportunities and alternatives for everybody who is born here somebody is there
for him/her. With this intention just develop friendship with somebody else but
be careful; explain at the time convenient everything. If that fellow wants to
develop friendship on the basis of equal footings then go ahead.
If you can,
you can forgive this fellow and forget the whole incidence of friendship as a
bad dream. Though initially, it is a bit difficult yet a new start is called
for otherwise you would not be able to transact anything tangible in your life.
There should be dynamism in life inactivity stops
the forward march in life therefore whatever bad has happened cannot be
revisited therefore putting a strong stopper to the bottle containing the gin
is the only option.
For developing good friendship it is essential to understand each other, hence start again and that too with positive attitude. Bear in mind that end of road hardly means end of journey. It should just continue for destination you want for yourself. Establishing spiritual orientation may also help.
While others are steeped in
quagmire of difficulty
The choice remains with us
solely
The choice depends on the
our wisdom entirely
We’ve garnered for
ourselves
Over a period of time
indeed
Sometimes we’ve the choice
of silence
Other times we’ve to walk
the talk
Sometimes there is no choice
of pick and choose,
Selection of our choice
Also depends on situation
In which we’re placed willy-nilly
In emergency like
situations
We’ve limited options
Or when alternatives have
dried out immeasurably
We are constrained to
follow the available ones
With compelling reasons open
And with us available .
Thence sometimes we get
distraction
Due to our wavering mind
Which hovers from one
thought to other one
Here choices become blurred
and confusing
Here choice proper and most
appropriate
Becomes all the more
difficult.
Then there are workaholics
Their very little choice is
not anything but work
They’re sticklers for rules
To be perfectionist at all
costs
In order to earning for
themselves
In the long run stresses
and strains.
Then we’ve situations
Where we’ve no choices at
all left
Everything we take gets
boomeranged
With the situation like this
There is no alternative
But to bank on our Creator
And we sincerely pray to
Him
For granting us sagacity
With immense inner strength
To face the challenges
In which we’re placed
This inner strength
Strengthens our resolve
And give us multiple
choices
Amongst these we can choose
the best ones
For making the life
peaceful
With humbleness in
abundance blissfully
With broadening of choices
ultimately
Making us the master of our
destiny.
OUR CHOICES IN OUR LIVES
There are
so many choices in our lives which we can individually choose. In life we have
various alternatives or options but what we choose for ourselves counts, taking
into consideration the time and space we are placed. The following are the
parameters which are important for us in order to choose the right course of
action depending on the situation in which we are placed and the inner resolve
we have garnered for ourselves:-
WHEN WE HAVE MULTIPLE CHOICES
When we have different choices from which we have
to choose one, the choice depends on us individually. For example, the students
can choose their choice of course or skill they can choose from amongst the
multiple ones depending upon our own aspirations and ambition we’ve nurtured over a period of time,
availability of finance and other relevant factors. But ultimately, the choice
solely is of the individual student concerned.
SINCERITY IN FRUTIFICATION OF THE CHOICE WE ADOPT FOR OURSELVES
It should
always be kept in mind that merely making choice is not a solution, we have to
work for realizing or fructification of the choice chosen. Here sincerity for
successful completion of our choice too counts a lot.
CHOICE OF OUR LIFE PARTNER
We have
the choice of choosing our spouse with whom we want to spend our life, with
whom we want to share the happiness and sadness besides fulfilling all the
demands that family commitment demands from us. A good choice in this context
goes a long way in living a purposeful life.
CHOICE OF FRIENDSHIP
We all
are aware that we cannot make friendship with everybody; those who come across
us in life. We have to be doubly sure that the one we choose as a friend,
stands with us in thick and thin and we also do the same for our friend.
WHEN WE’VE LIMITED CHOICES
There are
occasions, when our choices are limited. We have to live with those limited
choices with us. In this sort of contingency, we have to be careful in choosing
from the limited choices. This choice should be exploited to the hilt for
getting optimum benefit. For example, if we’ve only one business opening for
us, we’ve to lap it up.
WHEN THERE NO CHOICES AT ALL THEN?
There are
times and occasions when we do not have any choice left; in that case there are
two scenarios. Firstly, we may lose ourselves in the bargain or get frustrated
and earn for ourselves stress related diseases. Secondly, the person concerned
could turn to God and pray for inner strength and resilience. True prayers are
always answered by our Creator.
WHEN OUR CHOICE IS SUSPECT
At times, our choice is suspect then what? Then our inner potential bestowed by our God comes to our rescue and we are delivered of the piquant situation in which we are places.
SHOULD ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF THE MAXIM: HASTE MAKES WASTE
At times,
we are under the dilemma of choosing from the multiple choices, here we’ve to
be careful in choosing the right choice amongst all the choices. But here we’ve
to introspect; analyze all angles and then reach to a conclusive decision. Here
the maxim, haste makes waste’ should never be lost sight of even for a moment. While choosing our profession, our life
partner or coming under the spell of lust for ‘another’ woman etc are some of
the choices. Here we’ve to be very careful, especially for ‘another’ woman or
man wherein we shall be transgressing our moral lakshamrekha (limits). Here if
we sway, we shall be losing ourselves in the bargain. This choice too is ours
own, nobody other than us can choose this.
Love does not recognize any particular day for celebrating
A love we would not like losing
A love which is all pervading
A love all sweeping
A love all-embracing
A love which is broadest in content
A love from which we get contentment
A love which is fully bloomed
A love which is full-blown
A love which is sweeping
A love where there is not even an iota of doubt
A love where losing makes no difference
A love for which any sacrifice could be given
A love where we do not demand but would like giving
A love where we get extreme joy in giving
A love which teaches us values of living
A love where suspicion has no place while giving
A love rooted in sublime and humane delicate touch
A love which broadens its base without an iota of bias
A love which is synergy giving while sharing
A love which increases by every day passing
A love which kindles trust among all creatures living
A love where we do not care for caste, creed, colour or race
A love which is magical in nature
A love which is not theatrical in its character
A love which enlightens us and is not mechanical in nature
A love where we do not care for results
A love where every skepticism melts
A love which gives is eternal peace
A love which takes us to love heights
A love which erases all lingering reservations
A love which spreads its fragrance
A love which gives happiness in taking pain of other
Like the love of Saint Valentine,
A Catholic Bishop of Terni
In Roman Empire Who for love’s sake attained martyrdom, For solemnizing marriage secretly, Of condemned soldiers, For whom marriage was a bar Under the Roman Empire’s law And marrying those forbidden once to marry, Attracted the Saint’s imprisonment, And ultimately martyrdom.
While in the condemned cell of a prison, With his miraculous touch, he cured the daughter of the jail warden, Saint Valentine sent out a farewell letter, With words so eternal in nature,
“From your Valentine”,These words have become a grand brand, Presently for us all to express to our loved one, With a huge sprinkle of pride, Mixed with a huge smile, Lasting for good in our imagination, And in real life too, we live with complete affirmation That love binds us & bestows us God’s eternal co
After
having asked for sincere pardon for their bad acts
And
understand that reaction of bad action
Cannot
be good at all by any reckoning
Thus
change the destiny
By
changing the mental attitude positively
God too
forgives our acts
If we
determine not to pass through
The
path beset with thorns
And
make ourselves candidate
For
heaven above with the grace of God.
KARMA AND HELL-HEAVEN
Hell means a
state or condition in which we feel
ourselves extremely in agony/misery, the torments of which are being
experienced. In the nightmarish condition, it is difficult to live a normal
life. Even on this earth, there are some who consciously live a life of hell. I
think, when we live a life filled with anger, jealousy for others, and
bitterness for others without rhyme or reason including all the negative traits
then that sort of life is more than hell.
SELF-CREATED HELL
In essence, facts stand out, we create our own hell and heaven
with our thoughts and Karma (Action). There is a case in point in which a
seemingly well-behaved, suave in her temperament and seemingly impeccable
reputation dug out her own hell with her lust for worldly possessions. Mrs.
Preeti (exact name changed) went on superannuation after serving an institution
for more than 30 years. She was economically sound; her own pensionary
benefits were adequate enough to take care of herself and family. Besides, her
husband too was running a hotel business in a posh locality of Delhi. They had
the responsibility of only son to look after – that is all.
A few days back, we came to know that her entire family had
siphoned off more than Hundred Crore Rupees from the gullible
depositors (Her friends and well-wishers mainly colleagues and neighbours)
which they had handed her over because she had promised them better returns –
even better than Bank’s interest rates,
for their earnest money deposited with her. The gullible
could be swayed because of her past record was unblemished. She did not keep
her word and flew out to a foreign country along with her entire family. Law
enforcement agencies caught her and now she along with her entire family facing
the music of law of the Land for her illegal acts. In the process, she has lost
what she had earned for herself – trust, belief, faith and confidence which are
important ingredients in the life of a person. She has made her life along with
her family’s life a virtual hell by her greed for more material possessions.
This should serve a lesson for us people; our greed could make
hell out of heaven due to our own KU-KARMA (Bad deed).
HELL & HEAVEN ARE OUR OWN CREATION
Some say, the hell and heavens are
the creations of our own mind, the state of our mind. When our mind and senses
are calm and composed, we feel ourselves on the Seventh Heaven and while our
mind gets disturbed, we feel in the hellish existence. There are
very many people who think their present state as destined by God. They are
theists – believers in God and His mercies/bounties/graces.
There are the people who say that we get sow in this birth
itself. If we work hard and succeed, it is fruits of our action and if despite
hard work, we are disappointed thus feel a hellish life thereafter affecting us
physically and mentally. They take life as mechanical one without
belief in God and His grace. Just getting up in the morning,
performing routinely anything which is being done like a machine. These people
do not believe in the existence of God and his graces. They consider themselves
as makers of their own destinies. Theists – non-believers in the existence of
God and His graces. Hell or heaven are their own creations they think.
SOME BAD ELEMENTS CAN MAKE OUR LIFE HELL
There are people,
who while living a life full of disappointments and disillusionments, many a
times, would make the lives of others around them also the same with their bad
behavior with them. This gives such people misplaced satisfaction which is in
fact inhuman and unethical act. To make somebody else’s life hellish because we
are not having normal life, is in fact unfair and merits condemnation. There
are people who think that if they have material possessions, they’ve heaven on
this earth itself but what about those who are having every comforts in their
lives but have debilitating diseases like cancer and other life-threatening
diseases. For them, this earth is like hell – just darkness, suffering,
blackness, all around, with no light on the sight.
There is
octogenarian couple in one of our relation, they spent their financial
resources on their three sons who are professionally well-up; two are doctors
and the third one an engineers. But unfortunately, all the three, with their
families, have gone to USA, leaving the hapless, aged and ailing parents to the
mercy of elements. Although both the spouses are financially sound yet there is
nobody of their own relations to look after old and ailing parents. Life for
them is virtual hell in real sense of terms.
The hellish life
is when you cannot pull on in life with problems confronting from every side in
relation to health, relationship between spouses, discords in the family,
deaths in the family creating a situation with unending suffering and torments
in which only one spouse is left creating hell on this earth.
OUR KARMA AND HELL
& HEAVEN
Contrarily, we are
having good health, although with less material resources, but more satisfaction in our lives will
create positive ambience.When we transact everything necessary including job we are doing
without much attachment to the fruits of action. We should enjoy the bounties
of nature, fresh air, water and sunlight and the sky above. We should enjoy the
flaks of snow falling or the breeze blowing or enjoy the moonlit night , just
appreciating and enjoying the heaven on earth bestowed on us by the Mother
Nature. If this is not heaven on earth then what it is?
Whenever we’ve cool
and peaceful existence with purposeful lifestyle with spiritual orientation
then we have the dawn of heaven on this earth in our life. Glimpses of heaven
are felt in our heart when we’ve our close connectivity with God and we
transact everything in close partnership with God. Then when we’ve compassion
for others, feel pain when somebody feels pain, have no attachment for material
possessions (Wealth), alcohol (Wine) and lust for other women outside the
institutionalized married life.
KARMA PHILOSOPHY AND HELL & HEAVEN
Based on Karma philosophy, we get everything that we give
others. Nothing goes waste. Our good deeds or actions which we transact for
others come back to us in one form or other. Good karmic deeds based on empathy
and understanding towards others’ state of situation and providing them needful
assistance give us good feeling, wellness, and a positive feeling – just out of
this world which could be termed as heavenly. Similarly, bad karmic deeds give
us bad results. It is in fact based on the action and reaction equal and
opposite. If we make others’ life miserable, our life too becomes miserable and
hellish in this life itself. We must have observed by us in real life here on
this earth. We can term it as a hell on earth.
It is also said that the consequences of our karmic deeds
(good or bad) are received by us in this birth only but if not yet received
then these could be taken to the next birth. Also, our birth is as per deeds
and misdeeds we have done in the present birth.
Then if we believe reincarnation based on our Karma then we
have to believe the existence of hell and heaven beyond this earth.
According to Hindu philosophy hell and heaven are due to our
own Karma. As per Hindi philosophy especially Puranas, there are 14 worlds in
the universe. Thus, from the viewpoint of Hinduism, heaven and hell are merely
different worlds, bound by time, space, and causality.
These are:-
UPPER WORLD:
Bhuh: The earth where we live.
Bhavah: Swah is the celestial world where we reap the reward of good karmic deeds that we have done while living on earth. Righteous actions elicit good rewards and vice versa. It is the region between the two.
Swah: Located between Brahmaloka and Bhuh
(earth).
Mahah:
It is located between Brahmaloka and Bhuh
(earth), Bhuvah
& Swah.
Janah: Constitute
Brahmaloka which is highest heave where Souls
Tapah: with most righteous deeds are located
and many attain
Satyam: Moksha
but some get back to earth and take birth.
Patala, the lowest of the seven nether worlds, is the realm
where wicked souls sojourn after death and reap the results of their
unrighteous actions on earth.
LOWER WORLS (Nether world)
Atala:
Vitala:
Sutala:
Rasatala:
Talatala:
Mahatala:
Patala:
It is the realm where souls who have done Ku-Karma reside
after death and reap the results of their bad karmic deeds, suffer for their
misdeeds.
Our next birth is determined by:-
The righteous or unrighteous karma we have done
during our lifetime on earth. It is also a fact that on earth the souls can
transform themselves by their righteous or unrighteous Karma.
Some take births as animal, birds and other lower
living beings according to karmic deeds done on earth.
Soul also assumes the body which is according to
the unfulfilled desires during our lifetime on earth but karma, good and bad
deeds are most potent reasons.
Liberation from births and deaths could only be
attained when a person concerned has not desire i.e. not attached to the fruits
of actions (Detached from the fruits of actions) with no further desires to be
fulfilled – a state of desirelessness.
This has been amply clear in Katha Upanishad; which proclaims that when all our
desires are fulfilled or disregarded then we get liberation from births and
deaths.
The following could turn our heavenly life as a virtual hell:-
Paddling lies in order to hide truth.
Greed for worldly possessions, power and pelf – may be sometimes using corrupt practices.
Committing crime or sin or acting immorally and ethically also makes us a candidate for hell because these add to our KARMICDEBTS.
Heaven could be
created by:-
Self-belief and indomitable belief on God take care of our
problems.
We should always remember that death is a great leveler. The
Gita Song is more relevant here.
Whatever has happened, happened for
the good
Whatever is happening is also for
good
Whatever shall happen, shall also
be good
What have you lost that you cry
for?
What did you bring that you have
lost?………Change is the law of Universe.
Following a life feeling compassion for others; feeling pain
when others are feeling so.
Feeling satisfied with what we have with the earnings following
earnest means.
Forgetting and forgiving gives more satisfaction than keeping
something in our heart.
Keep balance or equanimity both in good and bad days.
