WHY GOOD PEOPLE ALWAYS ONLY HAVE TO FACE DIFFICULTIES?


GOOD PEOPLE

Good people transact their jobs righteously
not living in the world of dreams
away from the realities
and when reality dawns
they retreat their foot-steps
and do course correction.

Good people follow spiritual oriented life
doing with duties assigned
with right attitude
and life with positive orientation
and securing a balance
in both failure or success.

Good people believe in the law of Karma
you get what you give others
Good Karmic deeds
leads to good outcomes
bad ones lead us astray.

WHY GOOD PEOPLE FACE HARD TIMES IN THEIR LIFE TIME?

Empirically speaking, it has been observed that the good people transact everything including their daily routines remaining within the ambit of natural laws and the laws of the land. They do not want to do anything which may tarnish their image in the eyes of society of which they are part. When they do everything according to the norms set by the society it goes to show that they will not take any short-cut path to earn their daily living. While doing so, they may have to face difficulties or failures many a times but they will not adopt corrupt practices in getting their work fructified.


Good people may also face jealousies from within their workplaces and even within the society besides their own people sometimes. Occasionally, it becomes difficult to get the legitimate things done due to opposition and pinpricks from many fronts. At times, the going becomes unbearably tough for a normal human being – such person becomes fed up even to get his normal things done but he has two things and most precious ones with him which give him the will to go on despite hardship. These two positive factors are self-belief and belief on Providence. These two important factors help him steer clear of any situations or in any adverse environment in which such a person is placed.


It is also a truthful that impure gold got from gold mines gets purified after going through many stages from the time it is extracted from the gold mines. Similar is the case with the individual plane. A good person gets his job done after undergoing different situations, conditions and experiences – some are good ones while others are not so good. Good people undergo different trials and tests during his sojourns in life. Their path may be littered with thorns but they weather the storms and come out unscathed ultimately.


The following are the reasons why good people face hard times and at times extremely difficult situations during their lifetime:-


1, Good persons transact their jobs remaining within the purview of laid down rules and conventions.
2. Such people should do not follow corrupt practices in order to get their things done so it takes time and sincere efforts in order to get things done.
3. They follow righteous course and practices in order to transact anything in life.
4, Such persons follow ethical and moral standpoints in their daily routines.
5. If such people fail in their efforts, they try again after getting adequate experiences from their failures.
6. Such people keep a healthy balance – both in failure and success.
7. Good people transact their Karmic deeds taking into consideration that good Karma leads to enhancement of their Karmic Credit and bad deeds Karmic Debt.
8. Good people always follow positive ways of thinking and acting.
9. The hall-mark of good people is their traits of remaining positive despite hurdles in their path.
10. Good people believe in the philosophy of living a spiritual oriented life with empathy, compassion and wellness etc. for meeting the needs of needy.
11. Good people know when to do a course correction in their daily routines.Advertisements

PARENTAL CARE IS ALL ENCOMPASSING


PARENTAL CARE IS ALL ENCOMPASSING

OUR CHILDREN & WE AS PARENTS

Our children are our most precious gifts
which we leave here on this earth
to represent us after we’ve departed
these are the credits
of the parents’ Karmic deeds
good ones give us good returns
bad ones discredit us
even after we’re not there on this earth
we show them sound path
because any wrong step taken on the wrong path
depletes the credit points so earned
of our offspring
and comes in the path of smooth journey
and lessen the chances to live a life with dignity.

Teaching our children to follow
good thoughts and Karmic deeds thereto
with sincerity of purpose
observing all the natural laws
along with norms of society
which need to be followed
as a true human being
profusely smiles dividing
besides fragrance spreading
wherever they set their feet.
Care not to spread frowns
the unwelcome ones
which tend to divide people
thus tarnishing the image of our children
and by doing so ours left out respect too
after even we’ve left this earth so beautiful
but alas!
left imprints
with very fickle impressions
with selfishness galore
how best to get things done
for meeting their own needs
without caring two hoots
what others expect from them.
I fathom thus
if our offspring behave waywardly
fault lies not with our children really
but on us as parents
since we paid no heed
while our children required us the most
for attending to their upbringing needs
We remained busy
in our own activities
leaving our offspring to the mercies
of hostile elements.
Now blaming others is futile
since our offspring
are brought to this earth by us
and brought up by us
thus we’re responsible
what they are at the moment
and what they should not be after all
if only we had paid attention
when it was woefully needed!

EARLY CHILDHOOD AND PARENTS

In essence, it is axiomatic that every parent would like their offspring to behave appropriately, follow correct mode of behaviour, cultivate good manners, have positive attitude while interacting with others since when our love ones behave improperly with others, they bring bad name for the family as a whole. It also becomes a slur on our upbringing since we as parents or elderly members have not given quality time to our offspring. Obviously, the parents are responsible for; what our offspring do or do not do, should never be forgotten. We must have observed people appreciating and commending the behaviour of good-mannered children while denigrating the ones who are not well behaved. Here the role of the parents or elders in the family is considered paramount. Need is to take care of the children from childhood itself – from infancy itself as the child at that stage is like a wet-earth from which the parents can make anything a very beautiful toy to play or a a hard-ball to break somebody’s head.

Be that as it may, since parents are responsible for the behaviour of their children, therefore, they have to make concerted efforts so that their wards follow righteous path from the early childhood itself. At childhood stage, value system should be imparted/transferred to the children so that the traditional values are used in their lives at every stage of their lives. The stage has to be set in the childhood stage itself. If our children behave properly in the society, it generates good impression on the family as a whole and in the long it will herald a good life in their lives while they grow up.

Here comes the play of our knowledge, intelligence and wisdom to act in a manner that we exert the influence or impression we want to make on our children. It goes to show that before having any tangible effect on our children, we have to change ourselves. It cannot be attained with ease. In such a situation, what is the option left? It is the medical expert advice which is the next alternative.

PARENTS HAVE TO BE PATIENT IN EXERTING THEIR POSITIVE INFLUENCE

Now delving on the question; if the sincerest efforts of the parents to rectify the behaviour of the parents fail to give tangible results then what? It is natural that the parents will feel exasperated and a feeling of despondency may set in.


WHAT IF OUR CHILDREN HAVE CROSSED CERTAIN LIMIT, THEN WHAT?


For instance, if a child has developed the bad habits of smoking, drinking or worse still the habit of taking drug along with gambling, then what? It is also a considered fact that all these bad habits have not set in in short span of time. These have developed over a period of time only. Seemingly, proper care on the child in question was not paid and was left to the mercy of elements. Now, at this late stage, what is the option left? We cannot leave our children high and dry to the beggaries of the ‘time’ – since time too will not be able to unknot the Gordon Puzzlei n such cases. We as the parents and the elders in the family have to come forward and do something in order to undo what untold harm has been done willy-nilly. We cannot wash our hands and tell that as parents and elders in the family are not responsible for the predicament your children are presently.

REMEDIAL ACTION FOR BREAKIG A HABIT WHICH HAS GONE BERSERK

The parents and the elders in the family should leave all compunction or hesitation in taking medical help to bring in positive transmission in the child in question. Any hesitation shown may prove counterproductive since no time should be lost in seeking remedial measures for recovery as loss in time may accentuate or heighten the symptoms to a stage of ‘no recovery’.

At the stage when the habits have been developed, how best the parents and the elders in the family can chip in order to refine the behaviour pattern of their children?

if all the persuasions to rid one of these habits or combination of bad habits have failed; then what? The parents of the elder in the family will have to fend for themselves. The family as a whole will be shattered.

If the malady is to remove the negativity in the behaviour of the children then persuasion and imparting sound advice as and when required is a must but it should not be left at that, proper monitoring too is called for to ensure that our advice have brought tangible results. Here the play of reward and punishment, whenever needed will have positive ramifications.
For this, we make our best efforts to advise the children so that they do course correction/mend their ways. we naturally get irritated when despite our best efforts, they do not listen to our advice or do not pay heed to our advice. More the nearness to our relations, the more incensed we feel when our best efforts yield no results.

But if the habits have gone beyond that and graduated into habits of drinking, smoking, drugs etc. Then what? In such a scenario, we have to seek the medical intervention to come to our rescue. It has crossed the limit of parenting. It has reached to the level of medical-intervention. Therefore, the help of the expert advice is called for. It may be time consuming but things can fall into place when proper care and caution is exercised as a matter of routine. Here too the part played by the parents and the elders in the family is of paramount importance.

The following procedure should be adopted for keeping our balance or equanimity:-

• Keep cool, when the question of our own near relatives is taken into account. The children are our own, therefore, it is our responsibility to ensure that they follow the correct path.

• It is important that as parents, we should control our anger and irritability since it will do any benefit to our children but will spoil our chances of rectifying our own behaviour. It is also necessary to note that if the anger is self-directed, it will do more harm to us as a parent and thus we lose to rectify the behaviour of our children. A child in need of our assistance is just like a parched flower plant which needs water periodically.

• Besides parents, elders in the family, the informal institutions like temples, churches, mosques, play grounds and libraries can play a stellar role in mold or shaping the opinion of the young minds and keep their mind focused on positive things, away from negative influences if the impressionable minds are left free. For instance I personally witnessed how the separate section of a library in Eastleigh attracts small children venting their curiosities; drawing, creating new things with the blocks, read children books etc. which help in productively utilize their time thus enhance their intelligence.

• Experiencing anger is our personal and internal experience whereas acting out anger means when we direct this anger on somebody else due to some reason. Although both are harmful and need controlling. Children whose parents are habituated to verbal abuses, beating, bashing, punching, etc. such children grow to be violent with all the negative traits which they learn from their parents in homes.

• If we start imparting good value system in the early childhood itself then we can expect sound results when the child grows up pricing the saying: a stitch in time saves nine.

• Build bridges of communication, soothe their emotions after observing these very minutely, relate with their problems and make concerted efforts in solving those problems.

• While refining the habits of the children, it is paramount that we as parents should not humiliate them and not at all in front of others.

• It is always necessary to know the requirement of our children; their wants, needs, the traumas which they face during their schooling, the comparison they make with their group, low esteem they face when they cultivate low self-esteem while comparing with the peer group. Any adjustment related problems should be sorted out sooner these are observed lest these problems take an uncontrollable proportion. Then there is also the final standing in the class vis-à-vis other students. If we as parents have given quality time to them and met their requirement then our children will come out of the educational institutions as a confident and the ones who can walk talk both in the peer group and others with whom they interact.

• Repeat advising till such time tangible results are attained but monitoring them periodically should never be ignored.

It should always be kept in mind that nothing is acquired with ease and when it is the question of imparting positive transformation of our own love ones it is all the more important. The solutions are not easy but these are not unattained if we adopt right methods. If required, we can take the assistance of some NGOs or other groups which have the good reputation of helping such cases.

Try, try again option should never be ignored since the matter is related to our own loved ones. If now we cannot help, then when?

If one option fails, adopt the alternative one or another but do not stop trying.

Remember right approach leads to right results. Hasty shortcuts may not produce right results but may make the matters still more complex.

If sometimes our leniency fails, then adopt some mild-hard methods too to streamline the behaviour of your loved ones but in all these, care ought to be exercised that we ourselves should not be exercised or feel irritated or even show irritation. Doing so, would be counterproductive.

For bringing positive results, positive orientations have to be adopted as the question is not of some stranger but your own ones with whom you have to interact on daily basis besides on whom your own future too hinges on while they grow up and you become old!

After having acquired a modicum of success in changing the habit and attitude of your love ones, just monitor their behaviour pattern till you are sure that what you want is acquired.

A small positive change in behaviour and attitude should be appreciated till final outcome is reached.

While following the correct course of action, it is in fitness of things to remain positive, persuasive without forcing your advice, pay minutest attention to the transformation at every step and above all remain pragmatic that things will improve with the grace of Almighty God.

HOW BEST TO ADJUST WITH THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM WE HAVE ADJUSTMENT PROBLEMS INITIALLY IN AN ORGANISATION?


HOW BEST TO ADJUST WITH THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM WE HAVE ADJUSTMENT PROBLEMS INITIALLY IN AN ORGANISATION?

It should always be remembered, in life, we do not get everything we actually want. Everything is not tailor made according to suitability.  Sometimes we have to traverse a territory we do not want travelling. We are constrained to change our attitude. Then what? Do we retreat our steps as per the need of the hour, adjust according to the need? I think those who adapt themselves as occasion demands can adjust in any situation or condition. We have to face the facts by facing those with whom we have adjustment problems initially taking into account others will not change for us, we have to, in any situation.

How best we can adjust according to the demand of the situation could be put into practice by the following ways:-

  1. Pay respect to the people with whom you want to adjust. Do not be isolationist because such people will not attract others and render you any help. It should always be remembered, the horse has to go to the water body, the water body will not come to the horse to satisfy its thirst.
  • Get awareness about the  background checking but discretely, of the group of people – their educational qualifications, their experiences, their impulses, their strong and weak points etc. This information could be gleaned, if we make sincere efforts.
  • Make efforts to cultivate one of the fellow-employee with whom you emote well. This should be on the basis of give and take.
  • It is not that you will get adjustment just in day or two. It takes time. It may take months but it is possible that if we make sincere effort, nothing is impossible in this context.
  • Never ever feel low if things are not working in your favour for sometimes. May a times, you may have to face insults but have patient, things will ultimately turn out to be fine and in your favour. Everything fructifies, if we remain trying.
  • When you have got adequate experience with the group you are working, with passage of time everything will fall into place.

YOGA & ITS BENEFITS


YOGA EXERCISE

YOGA AND ITS BENEFITS

(21st June is the INTERNATIONAL YOGA DAY)

YOGA FOR THE BENEFIT OF OUR BODY, MIND & SOUL

The word Yoga

originates from the Sanskrit word Yuja

meaning to bind or to unite or align

all the organs

of our body to work as a cohesive unit

For ensuring integration

of body, mind and soul

for ensuring holistic growth

by regulation of breathing exercises

with emphasis on focused attention

to get maximum benefits

with different Yogic postures.

and instills discipline in the Yogi

along with enhancing our concentration

through focused attention

thereby controlling the function

of our body and mind

along with ensuring

the control over our emotions

which helps in self-realization

by knowing our innate potentials

regulated breathing

ensures sound metabolic process of our body

for a sound circulation in our veins

for our good health and wellbeing.

Thence we have Karma Yoga

meaning performing our functions or duties

with utmost sincerity

with no attachment of any type

with the result of our action or Karmic deeds

thus following spiritually orientation

and ensure enhancement of our Karmic credit account

and realise the purpose of our life

of connectivity with Almighty God

and ensure merger

of soul with Super Soul.

The word YOGA has originated from the Sanskrit word ‘yuja’ meaning to integrate or bind or to align to unite to act or to discipline oneself to act in a natural way to seek complete self-realization or self-awareness. It means the unity or integration  of an individual’s consciousness with that of Universal Consciousness.

The origin of Yoga is mystic. by 5th Century BC, Yoga was very popular. It is also believed that Sant Patanjali was the father of modern Yoga. It also finds its place in Vedic Scriptures. But it cannot be disputed that Lord Shiva was the father of ancient Yoga; as His posture shows Him in Yogic mode.

The ancient rishis believed that our body, mind and the soul have to join together or integrate with the environment in which a person is living. For this to happen meaningfully, it is essential that an individual’s emotions, thinking, actions and intelligence have to be work cohesively in order to realize the purpose of our life. For integration of the three (body, mind and soul) with environment in which a Yogi is living, various well-coordinated exercises with regular breathing, experienced over a period of time for their applicability; besides meditation are undertaken ultimately for deriving maximum benefits.  For deriving optimum benefit from the Yogic exercises, discipline in the conduct of various exercises, coordination with the various parts of the body especially control of mind and mind cohesiveness is of optimum importance. The Yogis who are disciplines in conduct of Yogic postures with focused attention will get maximum benefits. Yoga exercises also help a Yogi in focused meditation and other daily functions as a disciplined Yogi and lead a spiritual oriented lifestyle to realize the purpose of life – to establish  connectivity with Almighty God.

IMPORTANT FUNCTIONS OF YOGA

SOUND BODY. It is understood that our body works as a entire unit, integrating the task of various organs,  for carrying out different functions and if it is hale and hearty and possessing energy and synergy, we can transact more functions with our body. For this to happen, we’ve to have balanced diet besides proper exercises or Yoga exercises to keep it hale and hearty. It is also in sync with the saying: sound mind dwells in sound body.

SOUND MIND. We have to control our mind so that the senses (sense of sight, sense of touch, sense of smell, sense of taste and sense of hearing) which it possess coordinate all the functions of our body eloquently and works in sync with the requirement of a Yogi. Wavering of senses from one object to another just makes our task of focusing more difficult. That is why we have to mind our mind if we want to have complete benefit from Yoga exercises. This is easier said than done  since we have to take the assistance of all the organs of our body including internal resolve along with making the environment conducive, so as to make the Yogic exercise a fruitful exercise.

SOUL/SPIRIT. The soul is self which lives in the body and does its functions through it. When there is no soul in our body our body becomes lifeless and becomes a purposeless for any functions. It is just like a rudderless boat floating aimlessly in the vast ocean without destination. Or it is like a bulb without electricity to give energy to give light to us. Hence, we are living, having emotions and perceiving things intelligently or our mind is functional because we’ve got a soul which gives our body life. A soulless body is a lifeless body. When body and mind are in fine fettle then our soul too functions accordingly. It is also well said that our soul or spirit is not apart from the Super Soul (Parm Atama) who is the creator, evolution/preserver and destroyer for reproduction.

      BREATHING EXERCISES

Breathing in O2 (Oxygen) and breathing out CO2 (Carbon Dioxide) is one of the most important requirements of our body and if it is closely regimented and systematically done then it proves to be divinely provided sustenance to our body and Yoga bestows us opportunity to enhance breathing methodically which could be proved scientifically. When breathing control is ensured meticulously then we proceed with the next step focused meditation or prayer. While doing so, our mind’s quietness or stillness state is termed as passive activism.

YOGIC EXERCISES & ITS BENEFITS

In Chapter two of Bhagwad Gita, it has been very emphatically mentioned that our responsibility is only to perform our prescribed duty, but we never are entitled to its fruits. It is because our results would be in our favour if there is sincerity in our actions. We should not be motivated by results of our thoughts and actions but we should not be overly attached to the results of our actions. For performing our duty, we should remain balanced minded both in success and failure – no heightened emotions at all. Such a calm temperament and our expertness in performing our task is called YOGA.

Only detached actions (selfless actions) and performing that action with best of our capability will make our pursuit purposeful and meaningful in the long run. We can choose the various duties but it is not in our hands to choose results as we desire. But practically, it has been found that if our pursuit of action is sincere and done with cool temperament then result cannot be disappointing. In this state of mind, even if the results are not good, we shall not be disappointed.The Yogic exercises or Asnas done persistently makes it possible to regulate our breathing thus making it possible to improve the entire metabolic system of our body; in that blood circulation, abdominal organs function perfectly besides keeping all the organs of the body function wonderfully well because every limb of body is benefited with the regulated exercises. When our body is functionally healthy then we can perform various tasks cohesively.

KARMA YOGA – THE YOGA OF ACTION

Karma Yoga is relation to our action that we transact. Before any action is undertaken, it has to be based on some sound thought. The thoughts for action ought to be positive in nature besides being selfless and detachment from the fruits of that action. Karma Yoga has been amply mentioned in Bhagwad Gita stresses that we should transact our actions and detach from the fruits of those actions. Meaning when our actions are based on sound and rational thoughts then their results will have to be good.  Also by detaching ourselves from the fruits, we’re able to concentrate/focus on out actions besides offering those actions to God rather than frittering our energies by attaching ourselves with result of our action.

VARIOUS TYPES OF YOGA

HATHA YOGA (YOGA OF POSTURES)

In this branch of Yoga, the Yogis use physical pose or asana with proper breathing exercises or pranayama and subsequent meditation in a focused manner for ensuring good health besides ensuring our spiritual forward march.

BHAKTI YOGA (YOGA OF DEVOTION)

Bhakti word originated from Sanskrit word Bhaja meaning to contemplate, pray, love, worship etc. Here a Yoga meditate persistently thus integrates heart and body functions wherein body, mind and soul just combine for integrating with Super Soul. Yoga of Bhakti makes us aware of ONE DIVINE by undivided concentration and thus helps us see ONE DIVINE in everyone and everything. While  Karma-yoga becomes Bhakti-yoga,  it is done with God consciousness.
RAJA YOGA (YOGA OF SELF-CONTROL)

Raja means associated with royalty. In other words, it is KING OF YOGA. It is based on teachings of the EIGHT LIMBS OF Yoga which is based on YOGA SUTRAS. In this, A Yogi considers self as a central to all and thus considers animate and inanimate the same – no difference in living and non-living things.  If you wish to learn discipline, then Raja Yoga would perfectly suit that need.

JNANA YOGA (YOGA OF THE MIND)

Jnana Yoga is related with the mind and therefore its focus is on intelligence of a person. Here Yogis lay more emphasis on wisdom and intellect and try integrate the two so that it works for the self optimally. Also Jnana Yogis are after knowledge, they acquire the knowledge from any source or religions because they work on the principle that knowledge could be gleaned from any sources – religions and philosophies. It is universal in nature. Jnana Yoga proponents are rational in their approach for getting knowledge and thus believe that in order to get connectivity with a SINGLE ONE any path or any religion could be followed. Religion or caste or creed is not limiting factor in acquiring knowledge.

TANTRA YOGA OR YOGA OF RITUALS

Tantra yoga deals with head and heart. While pursuing tantra yoga one has to have the quality of  purity of mind, devotion, humility, love etc. Here some rituals are observed for obtaining benefit for the body, mind and spirit.


There are still a lot of misconceptions about yoga, for instance, yoga being a religion. Yoga is not a religion. It is more of a set of techniques for us to find spirituality. In fact, yoga is being practiced by a lot of people from different religions and benefiting from doing this.

Another misconception is that yoga is merely  an exercise, a way for us to keep fit. It is partly true, but if you think that yoga is just that then you are greatly mistaken. Yoga develops the body since a weak one is a hindrance to spiritual growth. It does not simply focus on the physical but on the mental and spiritual aspects as well

BENEFITS OF YOGA

Ban Ki-moon has rightly said:

“Yoga does not discriminate…all people can practise, regardless of their relative strength, age or ability.”

  • Yoga instills discipline in the Yogi.
  • Yoga is a scientific method which unites soul with the Super Soul (God) – we rise above delusion and reunite with our Creator.
  • It enhances our concentration through focus on the omniscient spiritual eye (between the two eyebrows) thereby memory.
  • It controls our stress and strain thus we can function perfectly since we learn how to keep our mind under control besides controlling our emotions which keep us adversely affected.
  • As in Yoga, we give more credence to ‘self’, we can thereby can attain self realization first and subsequently God-realization.
  • Breathing control ensures sound metabolic process of our body thus we have proper circulation of blood besides all the internal organs like heart, liver, lungs including all abdominal organs of our body function in fine fettle because of this regulated breathing and exercises.
  • Meditation in rigorous and with focused manner ensures that we move forward spiritually with a view to connect with our Lord/Creator in a disciplined way. It should always be remembered that systematic meditation makes a true Yogi.
  • Yoga helps us in facing challenges of life boldly and with equanimity.
  • Yoga helps us to imbibe the trait of love and acceptance for everything and everybody.
  • Yogic exercises through various postures enhances our self control thus self confidence because of opening the door of intuitive consciousness – sixth sense which makes it possible to anticipate the coming events!
  • While stress is on self (as is done in Raja Yoga), it enhances the Yogi’s self esteem and self control besides enhancing self reliance in everything a Yogi ventures.

HOW DO I KNOW WHETHER I AM REACTING BECAUSE OF MY SELF RESPECT OR EGO AND HOW BEST TO AVOID BEING REACTIVE?


HOW DO I KNOW WHETHER I AM REACTING BECAUSE OF MY SELF RESPECT OR EGO AND HOW BEST TO AVOID BEING REACTIVE?

It should always be remembered that there is very thin line between self-respect/self-esteem and ego. Ego comes to fore, when we consider ourselves above reproach or above criticism. When you become touchy on even slightest pretext and would like to pay back in the same coin. In other words, your tolerance level has taking a huge drubbing and have become delicate to the core. In this sort of a scenario, it becomes all the more difficult to work in any environment in which you are placed since you suspect every individual under the sun. In such a situation, wherein you consider yourself a centre of gravity where none other than you count, it become difficult to be adaptable to a change,

Contrarily, a self-respecting person is the one who respects others too and does not become reactive on slightest provocation. Sometimes such person suffers without being too much reactive or retributive. A person who is self-respecting does not get perturbed if he/she does not get due respect even since in his/her heart of hearts this person knows that the true state of affairs. This person knows how to pocket an insult, being tolerant to the core and does not believe paying in the same coin since this person knows paying back amounts to be reactive and to do so is injurious to health and wellbeing.

We can weather any storm, without being reactive, even on grave provocation when we are knowing our own self or are self-conscious. Having known ourselves fully (both our potentials and weaker areas) we can then have patience and tolerate anything, even assault on our self-esteem and would be able to adjust any situation in which we are placed, solve our own problems ourselves without being reactive on anything. In this sort of a situation, there may come occasions when our point of view is not understood by others, it hardly means that we tend to be reactive and lose our individuality in the bargain. We can analyse the situation and clear our side of the case scenario. If others understand our point of view, it is welcome, if not then introspect and do requisite course correction.

In view of the foregoing, although our self-esteem or self-respect is important but we should not go off the tangent if on certain occasions, it gets punctured. It should not matter much since our self-esteem could be gained in life if we live a non-reactive existence – free from anger or annoyance and live peacefully.

NEVER DO SUCH IN LIFE……..


NEVER DO SUCH IN LIFE..…

Never tell lies
because impressions created on falsehood
get sooner erased
by the erasing ink of time
on which impressions of truth
are codified by the indelible ink
which are inherent in nature
and create huge impression
amongst people of all hues
thereby stopping us to live in the midst
of self-deceptive world
of our own creation
which is away from realism.
.

Never follow corrupt practices
because the position
attained by such methods
loses its lustre with time
when reaction of Karma
comes into effect
and we go full circle
falling with a thud
lower the ladder.

Never allow thy offspring
to follow bad company after knowing
since thy offspring
will become
what company thy offspring
take or do not take.

Never lower the self-esteem of others
doing so
would boomerang
with a bang
Thy self-esteem would be at huge risk
and finally go bust
leaving thee high and dry
thus tasting the ill-prepared meal of thy own
making for which thee can blame none.

Never make promises
which thee can never fulfil
because not fulfilling promises
would be a huge loss of face
and self-esteem for thee
retrieving of which would be
a gigantic task for thee
after having lost thus.

Never pay lip service
to others’ advice
which thee
may not act with sincerity
because doing so
will put thee
in the list of truants
a state which will put thee in disrepute.

Never others to express their viewpoints
since doing so
would be equivalent to
supPressing others’ inner voice
the voice which could be of use to all of us.

Never ever overlook the experiences
thee get in the past
since these could teach thee
what to be done
and what to be left out
thereby not repeating
over and over again
what has been done
earlier on
but fasten the broken thread
and succeed then.

Never lose thy temper
because when thee lose temper
thee lose thyself
be in somebody’s else control
the one who makes the lose it
with it, thee lose thy own self
and try a life
whose key is with somebody else
since this life is very uncertain
so no hitch
remain calm
under any situation.

Never let the misunderstanding
in the family to

spoil the cohesion and goodwill

for a peace and prosperity in the family

Never hurt others emotions
since upsurge in emotions
with its centre of gravity
at our very delicate heart
will stretch thee to a limit
may be of no return – sometimes
putting effected ones
in dire straits
with little chances
of return back
to original self.

Never have ego
on thy worldly possessions
name and fame
since these will not last long
‘I, me and my’ will hardly help
when thee are down and out – at last
and thy ego will be mixed with dust
from where it had originated.

Never be reactive
to any situation
in which thy find thyself placed
since reaction
brings in its wake counter-reaction
making our life
a bed of thorns.

Never have more expectations
from anyone
since when these are belied
we tend to feel very distressed.

Never pick holes in others’ pockets
since there may be many more in thy pocket as well
so, exercise care
lest thee fall into the trap
of thy own making
for heaven sake.

OUR INSECURITIES


OUR INSECURITIES

Sometimes we are surrounded

By hostile environs

Of which we’re  not aware

Because we’ve not lived in such environs before

Necessitating adapting here and there

Keeping in mind ever

Nobody will adjust for us in any situation

For we’re not habituated to live

And play our part

In such environs afore

When faced with piquant state

We’ve to first of all

To be self-aware

Monitor ourselves thoroughly

Know our strengths and weaknesses

Work on our weaker areas

Then monitor the environs we’ve started living

Try adjusting with both

As adjustment with both

Will infuse self-assurance

To face any unforeseen eventuality

With full self-confidence

Whence we’re on the driving seat with our emotions

With no excitement

Or being reactive

The two negative elements

Working against in adverse situations

With our failings or successes

Which we get.

Control over our emotions

Means improvement in our skill

To control our feelings

Not being overly concerned

Over the result of thoughts and karma.

If we lack adjustment skills

We’ll fall into trap of catch 22 situations

Making us excessively insecure

Creating  hurdles so unpredictable

Immobilizing us in the bargain

In our path which we traverse

In this sort of predicament

Self-restraint and remaining calm

Along with remaining positive

Are the sure keys

Which will deliver us out

From our insecurities

We’re placed ourselves.

Our insecurities too visit us

When we fail to meet our expectations

Less expectations

Means less insecurities

Working ourselves in our lives

Free from our fears

Sometimes working so hideously

Thus working our way up tirelessly

Can secure us from our insecurities

Thence nurture the lust for being perfectionist

In this quest

We lose our individual identity

When we do not get want we want actually

And fall into the trap of insecurity

Of our own making.

.

OUR INSECURITIES IN OUR LIVES

Significantly, while we see the world of ours persistently submerged in different insecurities, there are insecurities in the society we are working with, in our families, insecurities of children and people in old-age, insecurities at the workplace and also on the individual planes too. The prompt for writing on this topic was after personally witnessing two small kids aged between 10-12  (a boy and girl) and also after seeing two old people dragging to heavy suitcases, huffing and puffing, the lady fell down and was crying for help. Seemingly they wanted to take the train which was standing at the railway station.  The male member just could not do anything but to prod her to get up – an indication of their helplessness at this age and condition of their health. Such insecurities could spell 

INSECURITIES IN THE WORLD OF OURS

While the world advances in different spheres, with some facing new challenges of man-made while others are created by Nature, there is air of insecurity in the minds of people. Some may say these insecurities are just farfetched and a figment of our imagination but we can hardly wish such insecurities away. Different countries have devised different ways to make their countries secure from other countries. It may be by production of weapons of mass destruction or having conventional weapons to work as  a deterrence in order to securing the borders from outside attacks. All these are done in order to ensure our own securities. But ultimately the insecurities persist from inside and outside. In the world of ours, all the countries are facing insecurities; it may be due to natural calamities, food related insecurities due to drought and famine-like situations in some countries, etc. All these insecurities persist through out this world of ours.

INSECURITIES ON INDIVIDUAL PLANE

There are occasions when we feel helpless despite our best efforts; self-doubts due to lack of confidence can take its toll by adversely affecting our performance. Short of confidence could spell doom not only for the individual concerned but also to the people who are dependent on that individual. There are personal familial matters such as difference between spouses leading to even separation. This separation could put the future of the offspring in jeopardy. Then there are the following family insecurities related to the following aspects:-

Insecurities arise in the community when the majority community subjugates minority community.

INSECURITIES AND OUR ATTITUDE TO HANDLE THESE

We have three kinds of people, satvic (those who are knowledgeable people who preach others to follow non-violent methods to get something), rajasvic (those whose job was to rule and defend others, their work is also to defend others against internal and external aggressions) and tamsic (those who follow non-violent means to get something). Tamsic people subjugate the other classes of people who remain fearful for their lives and properties. Then there are people of high caste subjugate the people with low caste or dalits. 

Childhood insecurities due to some trauma in the families

It has been seen those families in which there is discord between the spouses in the families, the children experience emotional upsurge of highest order and have adjustment problems with psychological and physiological implications.

EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY

 When we feel insecure in transacting our job in hand due to lack of confidence or feel vulnerable or has fear-psychosis to face any situation or condition with confidence. Due to these instabilities, we may feel our self-esteem being hit adversely. This way, whole of our self-confidence is lost and with it our resilience in performing any job with aplomb gets affected adversely. While our resilience to adjust gets affected, it will not only impact the economic condition but also social standing too.

LACK OF INNER STRENGTH AND INSECURITIES

It has also been seen that a person with strong inner strength faces all the outer adverse negative influences and challenges with confidence or has no fear in traversing an adverse territory. This self-confidence could be generated with self-awareness or self-actuation or self-realization. Such a person is not shaken by any situation in which the person concerned is placed.  On the other hand, a person who is emotionally insecure, feels unhappy on a slightest adverse situation, is always distrustful at every step,  becomes defensive on a slightest pretext, shows signs of mental instability, etc.  Conflicts at every step, triggered by adverse situation can undo the shreds of confidence a person may possess. Sometimes, these tendencies make him egocentric thus may have adjustment problems with the environs and the p. This person feels insecure in what he does or does not do.

LACK OF CONFIDENCE AND INSECURITY

An insecure person lacks confidence to face any situation. He always remains in doubt. With self-doubts lingering, every step brings with it negative feeling impacting the person mental stability. With such mental condition, fear stalks his every step. He does not make any efforts in improving in any way since he fears of failure at every step. He does not make any effort because of his fears of failure. These fears can also make this person excessive introvert; which sometimes may be construed as signs of humility but these are not the signs of humbleness but signs of fear-psychosis to face facts.

SELF-DOUBT AND INSECURITIES

A person who is skeptical, has doubts surrounding him, takes no step to objectively self-evaluate himself and do something in doing some for course-correction in order to find a way out of the adverse situation. Having little or no self-awareness through introspection and self-analysis could impair our internal mechanism to come to our rescue. Self-analysis could do a lot of good to us by knowing the exact causes of insecurity triggers and their consequent effect. After knowing the causes of our downtrend, we can take appropriate steps to rectify the inconsistencies with our self-efforts.  Factually, we are the ones who create these inconsistencies, therefore, we are constrained to removes these if we want some modicum of transformation for us. Since, if the positive transformation is not done within short period of time, it will hugely psychologically – just taking away whatever is left of our confidence and put us in irretrievable situation.  

MEDITATIONS / PRAYER CAN MAKE DIFFERENCE

With focused meditation, we can control the activities of our mind and can make it sync with our soul bringing in its wake calmness, enhancement in our self confidence, self-belief thereby self-confidence to face the world at large.

LONELINESS PROBLEMS DUE TO DEATH OF A SPOUSE

There are many insecurities in childhood and in oldage. In both of these cases, they are dependent on others physically and financially. In oldage they are not able to have much mobility because of oldage related diseases and also financially because in oldage they cannot put their efforts in earning their livelihood. Therefore, insecurities at these two stages (early childhood and oldage) are more pronounced.

SOCIAL ANXIETIES DUE TO ADJUSTMENT IN THE NEW LOCATION

AT times, we are constrained to change the place of our residence due to transfer on promotion to other location or on fresh appointment etc. In such a situation, we have to adjust not merely with the new organization and the staff but also the people where we have to live with or without our families. These insecurities remain the matter of concern to us till such time we adjust with everything by changing our work ethics and new procedures and methods that we have to learn and then follow up for making our journey in the office and outside smooth one.

FINANCIAL INSECURITIES

Whenever we are financially secure, we feel hugely insecure. If we are having sufficient money, we can at least meet our needs but without anything to fall back, we become totally helpless and dependent on others; then our insecurities become still more compounded when nobody of our own is there to provided us any assistance to fulfill our needs. With financial security, we can have our own home for habitation, can meet our family’s needs besides can render health related problems by providing insurance cover to the whole family members. This way the entire family is insulated from inner and outer insecurities.

OUR PRESENT FAILURES AND REJECTIONS

To overcome the negative feeling on being rejected in any venture it is advisable to be aware about ourselves; know our potentials and weak areas. Then work hard in order to lessen the weaker spots. Here perseverance and patience are required. It is not possible acquired in short span of time. This is possible when we turn inward to explore our inner potentials. Apart from this, we can also take the help of some of our experienced friends to whom we trust the most for a positive outcome. Those we transact their karmic deeds can overcome any problem whatsoever. The present failures and rejections could only worsen our present position if do not devise appropriate wherewithal or means 

Below are some tools to combat insecurity in social situations:

There are inherent deficiencies which bedevil us- the inner contradictions which remain pestering us and do not allow us to have familiarity with others around us or pick up conversations with us for knowing each other. We should cultivate habits to converse with others. Initially, we can start with one friend and subsequently we can increase our social group. It is a fact that each interaction can give us self-confidence. There may be the ones which prevent us from meeting people around. \it should never be forgotten that we are recognised only by the society of which we are a part.

INSECURITIES DUE TO PERFECTIONIST ATTITUDE

There are people who put in their best to be perfect in their thinking and job perfection where there is no place for mediocre or imperfect jobs. In everything they want perfection.  Such persons do not like inefficacy of any sort. They put self-focus in order improve the performance to perfection. They evaluate themselves under different set of conditions and make endeavour to rectify their outcome.

EFFECTS OF EMOTIONAL INSECURITIES

  • Social withdrawal.
  • Any guilt of youth causing psychological problems.
  • Fear in facing challenges
  • Turning excessive introvert or feeling shy
  • Becoming distrustful
  • Turning arrogant, bullying,
  • Vulnerable at every step
  • Have limited tolerance
  • Capacity to displease others or hurt others
  • Isolationist to the core
  • Bitterness towards others
  • Pre-disposed to be less happy.

HOW BEST TO COPE UP OUR INSECURITIES

  • Monitor yourself and the environs besides the people residing there so that we can adjust with both.

    enhancing the emotional intelligence.

  • Control/manage your emotions as undue excitement or reaction could mar your chances of success.
  • Emotional improvement just the same way as we improve our skill in any field.
  • Remaining positive despite hurdles which bedevil our steps for further movement.
  • Steer clear of all the confusions which makes our path difficult to traverse.
  • We have to use the power of restraints whenever needed to retrieve our steps ii we have taken any wrong step.
  • Divide smiles in order to spread positivism.
  • Always remember that you have not to prove yourself to anybody but to yourself – compete with yourself.
  • Know your own self- potential and weaker points – try removing the weaker points. Then know your true-self.
  • Self-doubts create depletion of energy therefore remove doubts through sincere self-efforts.
  • A seeds of good thoughts we sow can produce a yield of a huge dividends.
  • When we are weighed down by our own expectations, we tend to feel insecure.
  • More the expectations more the insecurities if the same are not realized, expecting nothing but act more could solve our problem.
  • Never ever have the lust for becoming perfectionist because it has the hidden element of contracting physical and psychological problems.