Sometimes we are surrounded
By hostile environs
Of which we’re not aware
Because we’ve not lived in such environs before
Necessitating adapting here and there
Keeping in mind ever
Nobody will adjust for us in any situation
For we’re not habituated to live
And play our part
In such environs afore
When faced with piquant state
We’ve to first of all
To be self-aware
Monitor ourselves thoroughly
Know our strengths and weaknesses
Work on our weaker areas
Then monitor the environs we’ve started living
Try adjusting with both
As adjustment with both
Will infuse self-assurance
To face any unforeseen eventuality
With full self-confidence
Whence we’re on the driving seat with our emotions
With no excitement
Or being reactive
The two negative elements
Working against in adverse situations
With our failings or successes
Which we get.
Control over our emotions
Means improvement in our skill
To control our feelings
Not being overly concerned
Over the result of thoughts and karma.
If we lack adjustment skills
We’ll fall into trap of catch 22 situations
Making us excessively insecure
Creating hurdles so unpredictable
Immobilizing us in the bargain
In our path which we traverse
In this sort of predicament
Self-restraint and remaining calm
Along with remaining positive
Are the sure keys
Which will deliver us out
From our insecurities
We’re placed ourselves.
Our insecurities too visit us
When we fail to meet our expectations
Means less insecurities
Working ourselves in our lives
Free from our fears
Sometimes working so hideously
Thus working our way up tirelessly
Can secure us from our insecurities
Thence nurture the lust for being perfectionist
In this quest
We lose our individual identity
When we do not get want we want actually
And fall into the trap of insecurity
Of our own making.
OUR INSECURITIES IN OUR LIVES
Significantly, while we see the world of ours persistently submerged in different insecurities, there are insecurities in the society we are working with, in our families, insecurities of children and people in old-age, insecurities at the workplace and also on the individual planes too. The prompt for writing on this topic was after personally witnessing two small kids aged between 10-12 (a boy and girl) and also after seeing two old people dragging to heavy suitcases, huffing and puffing, the lady fell down and was crying for help. Seemingly they wanted to take the train which was standing at the railway station. The male member just could not do anything but to prod her to get up – an indication of their helplessness at this age and condition of their health. Such insecurities could spell
INSECURITIES IN THE WORLD OF OURS
While the world advances in different spheres, with some facing new challenges of man-made while others are created by Nature, there is air of insecurity in the minds of people. Some may say these insecurities are just farfetched and a figment of our imagination but we can hardly wish such insecurities away. Different countries have devised different ways to make their countries secure from other countries. It may be by production of weapons of mass destruction or having conventional weapons to work as a deterrence in order to securing the borders from outside attacks. All these are done in order to ensure our own securities. But ultimately the insecurities persist from inside and outside. In the world of ours, all the countries are facing insecurities; it may be due to natural calamities, food related insecurities due to drought and famine-like situations in some countries, etc. All these insecurities persist through out this world of ours.
INSECURITIES ON INDIVIDUAL PLANE
There are occasions when we feel helpless despite our best efforts; self-doubts due to lack of confidence can take its toll by adversely affecting our performance. Short of confidence could spell doom not only for the individual concerned but also to the people who are dependent on that individual. There are personal familial matters such as difference between spouses leading to even separation. This separation could put the future of the offspring in jeopardy. Then there are the following family insecurities related to the following aspects:-
Insecurities arise in the community when the majority community subjugates minority community.
INSECURITIES AND OUR ATTITUDE TO HANDLE THESE
We have three kinds of people, satvic (those who are knowledgeable people who preach others to follow non-violent methods to get something), rajasvic (those whose job was to rule and defend others, their work is also to defend others against internal and external aggressions) and tamsic (those who follow non-violent means to get something). Tamsic people subjugate the other classes of people who remain fearful for their lives and properties. Then there are people of high caste subjugate the people with low caste or dalits.
Childhood insecurities due to some trauma in the families
It has been seen those families in which there is discord between the spouses in the families, the children experience emotional upsurge of highest order and have adjustment problems with psychological and physiological implications.
When we feel insecure in transacting our job in hand due to lack of confidence or feel vulnerable or has fear-psychosis to face any situation or condition with confidence. Due to these instabilities, we may feel our self-esteem being hit adversely. This way, whole of our self-confidence is lost and with it our resilience in performing any job with aplomb gets affected adversely. While our resilience to adjust gets affected, it will not only impact the economic condition but also social standing too.
LACK OF INNER STRENGTH AND INSECURITIES
It has also been seen that a person with strong inner strength faces all the outer adverse negative influences and challenges with confidence or has no fear in traversing an adverse territory. This self-confidence could be generated with self-awareness or self-actuation or self-realization. Such a person is not shaken by any situation in which the person concerned is placed. On the other hand, a person who is emotionally insecure, feels unhappy on a slightest adverse situation, is always distrustful at every step, becomes defensive on a slightest pretext, shows signs of mental instability, etc. Conflicts at every step, triggered by adverse situation can undo the shreds of confidence a person may possess. Sometimes, these tendencies make him egocentric thus may have adjustment problems with the environs and the p. This person feels insecure in what he does or does not do.
LACK OF CONFIDENCE AND INSECURITY
An insecure person lacks confidence to face any situation. He always remains in doubt. With self-doubts lingering, every step brings with it negative feeling impacting the person mental stability. With such mental condition, fear stalks his every step. He does not make any efforts in improving in any way since he fears of failure at every step. He does not make any effort because of his fears of failure. These fears can also make this person excessive introvert; which sometimes may be construed as signs of humility but these are not the signs of humbleness but signs of fear-psychosis to face facts.
SELF-DOUBT AND INSECURITIES
A person who is skeptical, has doubts surrounding him, takes no step to objectively self-evaluate himself and do something in doing some for course-correction in order to find a way out of the adverse situation. Having little or no self-awareness through introspection and self-analysis could impair our internal mechanism to come to our rescue. Self-analysis could do a lot of good to us by knowing the exact causes of insecurity triggers and their consequent effect. After knowing the causes of our downtrend, we can take appropriate steps to rectify the inconsistencies with our self-efforts. Factually, we are the ones who create these inconsistencies, therefore, we are constrained to removes these if we want some modicum of transformation for us. Since, if the positive transformation is not done within short period of time, it will hugely psychologically – just taking away whatever is left of our confidence and put us in irretrievable situation.
MEDITATIONS / PRAYER CAN MAKE DIFFERENCE
With focused meditation, we can control the activities of our mind and can make it sync with our soul bringing in its wake calmness, enhancement in our self confidence, self-belief thereby self-confidence to face the world at large.
LONELINESS PROBLEMS DUE TO DEATH OF A SPOUSE
There are many insecurities in childhood and in oldage. In both of these cases, they are dependent on others physically and financially. In oldage they are not able to have much mobility because of oldage related diseases and also financially because in oldage they cannot put their efforts in earning their livelihood. Therefore, insecurities at these two stages (early childhood and oldage) are more pronounced.
SOCIAL ANXIETIES DUE TO ADJUSTMENT IN THE NEW LOCATION
AT times, we are constrained to change the place of our residence due to transfer on promotion to other location or on fresh appointment etc. In such a situation, we have to adjust not merely with the new organization and the staff but also the people where we have to live with or without our families. These insecurities remain the matter of concern to us till such time we adjust with everything by changing our work ethics and new procedures and methods that we have to learn and then follow up for making our journey in the office and outside smooth one.
Whenever we are financially secure, we feel hugely insecure. If we are having sufficient money, we can at least meet our needs but without anything to fall back, we become totally helpless and dependent on others; then our insecurities become still more compounded when nobody of our own is there to provided us any assistance to fulfill our needs. With financial security, we can have our own home for habitation, can meet our family’s needs besides can render health related problems by providing insurance cover to the whole family members. This way the entire family is insulated from inner and outer insecurities.
OUR PRESENT FAILURES AND REJECTIONS
To overcome the negative feeling on being rejected in any venture it is advisable to be aware about ourselves; know our potentials and weak areas. Then work hard in order to lessen the weaker spots. Here perseverance and patience are required. It is not possible acquired in short span of time. This is possible when we turn inward to explore our inner potentials. Apart from this, we can also take the help of some of our experienced friends to whom we trust the most for a positive outcome. Those we transact their karmic deeds can overcome any problem whatsoever. The present failures and rejections could only worsen our present position if do not devise appropriate wherewithal or means
Below are some tools to combat insecurity in social situations:
There are inherent deficiencies which bedevil us- the inner contradictions which remain pestering us and do not allow us to have familiarity with others around us or pick up conversations with us for knowing each other. We should cultivate habits to converse with others. Initially, we can start with one friend and subsequently we can increase our social group. It is a fact that each interaction can give us self-confidence. There may be the ones which prevent us from meeting people around. \it should never be forgotten that we are recognised only by the society of which we are a part.
INSECURITIES DUE TO PERFECTIONIST ATTITUDE
There are people who put in their best to be perfect in their thinking and job perfection where there is no place for mediocre or imperfect jobs. In everything they want perfection. Such persons do not like inefficacy of any sort. They put self-focus in order improve the performance to perfection. They evaluate themselves under different set of conditions and make endeavour to rectify their outcome.
EFFECTS OF EMOTIONAL INSECURITIES
- Social withdrawal.
- Any guilt of youth causing psychological problems.
- Fear in facing challenges
- Turning excessive introvert or feeling shy
- Becoming distrustful
- Turning arrogant, bullying,
- Vulnerable at every step
- Have limited tolerance
- Capacity to displease others or hurt others
- Isolationist to the core
- Bitterness towards others
- Pre-disposed to be less happy.
HOW BEST TO COPE UP OUR INSECURITIES
- Monitor yourself and the environs besides the people residing there so that we can adjust with both.
enhancing the emotional intelligence.
- Control/manage your emotions as undue excitement or reaction could mar your chances of success.
- Emotional improvement just the same way as we improve our skill in any field.
- Remaining positive despite hurdles which bedevil our steps for further movement.
- Steer clear of all the confusions which makes our path difficult to traverse.
- We have to use the power of restraints whenever needed to retrieve our steps ii we have taken any wrong step.
- Divide smiles in order to spread positivism.
- Always remember that you have not to prove yourself to anybody but to yourself – compete with yourself.
- Know your own self- potential and weaker points – try removing the weaker points. Then know your true-self.
- Self-doubts create depletion of energy therefore remove doubts through sincere self-efforts.
- A seeds of good thoughts we sow can produce a yield of a huge dividends.
- When we are weighed down by our own expectations, we tend to feel insecure.
- More the expectations more the insecurities if the same are not realized, expecting nothing but act more could solve our problem.
- Never ever have the lust for becoming perfectionist because it has the hidden element of contracting physical and psychological problems.