HOW DO I KNOW WHETHER I AM REACTING BECAUSE OF MY SELF RESPECT OR EGO AND HOW BEST TO AVOID BEING REACTIVE?
It should always be remembered that there is very thin line between self-respect/self-esteem and ego. Ego comes to fore, when we consider ourselves above reproach or above criticism. When you become touchy on even slightest pretext and would like to pay back in the same coin. In other words, your tolerance level has taking a huge drubbing and have become delicate to the core. In this sort of a scenario, it becomes all the more difficult to work in any environment in which you are placed since you suspect every individual under the sun. In such a situation, wherein you consider yourself a centre of gravity where none other than you count, it become difficult to be adaptable to a change,
Contrarily, a self-respecting person is the one who respects others too and does not become reactive on slightest provocation. Sometimes such person suffers without being too much reactive or retributive. A person who is self-respecting does not get perturbed if he/she does not get due respect even since in his/her heart of hearts this person knows that the true state of affairs. This person knows how to pocket an insult, being tolerant to the core and does not believe paying in the same coin since this person knows paying back amounts to be reactive and to do so is injurious to health and wellbeing.
We can weather any storm, without being reactive, even on grave provocation when we are knowing our own self or are self-conscious. Having known ourselves fully (both our potentials and weaker areas) we can then have patience and tolerate anything, even assault on our self-esteem and would be able to adjust any situation in which we are placed, solve our own problems ourselves without being reactive on anything. In this sort of a situation, there may come occasions when our point of view is not understood by others, it hardly means that we tend to be reactive and lose our individuality in the bargain. We can analyse the situation and clear our side of the case scenario. If others understand our point of view, it is welcome, if not then introspect and do requisite course correction.
In view of the foregoing, although our self-esteem or self-respect is important but we should not go off the tangent if on certain occasions, it gets punctured. It should not matter much since our self-esteem could be gained in life if we live a non-reactive existence – free from anger or annoyance and live peacefully.