SOCIAL ANXIETIES & THEIR ADVERSE IMPLICATIONS ON US


SOCIAL ANXIETIES & THEIR EFFECTS ON US


Social anxieties include many negative thoughts which agonize some of us while interacting or dealing with others in the society. These are actually pre-conceived and inherent anxieties which have made residency in our mind, depleting our will to go on and fight the existing problem. These anxieties are individualistic in nature and vary from person to person – depending on the propensity of an individual to take in the challenges that the society throws while dealing or interacting with others to clarify his/her standpoint(s). Also, fear of failure looming large in the mind before even facing the situation and condition because of a particular thinking. In other words, we think that our thoughts may not be in sync with the thoughts of other members in the society.

Then there are times when we are in deep trouble due to mounting debts and the people from whom we have taken loan are after us for payment. the business we are running does not give the dividends we expect despite our best efforts. This anxiety sometimes pushes some over the edge.

In essence, there are occasions when the business empire we have raised due to our enterprise and hard work fails miserably due to which we fear for social drubbing and disrespect in the society resulting in unbearable stress. The down-ward slump in business impacts us physiologically and physiologically.  Those who have internal strength and resolve to withstand the pressure weather the storm but those who cannot are pushed over the edge and commit suicides. This is what happened to the  creator of one of the India’s best known retail brands founder and chairman  of Rs. 4200 Crore Café Coffee Day (CCD) in Bengaluru yesterday. He could not take the huge pressure from lenders and society at large and ended his life. This is what the social anxiety could lead when our chips are down. In the letter he had penned down for his lender and others ‘I’ve railed as an entrepreneur, forgive and pardon me’. This is what SOCIAL ANXIETY COULD LEAD TO if we are not able to absorb or withstand the pressure.

CAUSES OF OUR ANXIETIES ARE IMMENSE
In life, we have so many causes for being disappointed, despondent, worrisome occasions, which we manifest in our work culture or sometimes in our public dealings. These worrisome factors arise because of our hidden fears; what others may be thinking about us; why others think in a particular way, what changes we have to undertake so that we may not think like that? In these irritating scenarios, many a times, we get distracted from our main mission in our lives. These distractions also lead to confusion. This bewilderment results in anxiety and this anxiety leads to distractions from the work in hand. The consequences of it all are not far to seek.

The persistent social anxiety is recipe for the following consequences:-


LACK OF CONCENTRATION


While we are thinking about what others may be thinking about us then we are not able to focus on the job at hand. No having focus means we shall not be able to complete the job we are performing. Non-performance will lead to our failure. This is the result of our worrying factor only.


LACK OF CONFIDENCE


Thinking about what others may be thinking about us, we tend to have multiple thoughts on postponing important decisions, failing to even start the set goal thereby not able to fructify the set goal, etc. Non-confidence also leads to not take initiatives in anything. Non-initiative leads to our immobility. Non-immobility leads to stoppage of further growth and development in our lives. It should never be forgotten that stoppage of growth in our thoughts leads to drying of our knowledge acquiring efficacy. When this happens, you can well fathom, we are neither here nor there. In other words, we would be loser physiologically and psychologically too.


THINKING MORE ON WHAT WENT WRONG IN THE PAST RATHER THAN ACTING PRESENTLY TO RECTIFY THE SITUATION


It has been observed that we remain stuck with the past – past happenings never leave us. Remaining glued to the past events prevents us to take action at the present time, the present moment which brings about our downfall.


CREATION OF CONFUSION (WORKS GETTING MIXED)


In an effort to acquire perfection, we tend to overdo something, thus making a mockery of ourselves in the eyes of the general public. This may be due to the emphasis on getting too much scenario but too little result.


MIND GETTING BLANK


When we have social anxiety; what others will think if i do things like this or that may lead to putting pressure on our faculties resulting in mind getting bogged down on details thus our propensity of mind think any further gets reduced or in some cases gets blank response.


NOT TAKING CONFIDENT DECISIONS HAVING LURKING FEARS


In our zeal to care more about the people around, we tend to take decisions not according to our efficacy but what others may be thinking about ourselves. By giving more emphasis on others, we lose our own moorings. This way, we are neither here nor there.


KEEPING AWAY FROM OTHERS FEARING UNPLEASANT SITUATION


In our enthusiasm to avoid unpleasant situation developing in case of meeting others, and to avoid taking any unlikable situation emerging due to our meeting, we tend to not to meet others.


REMAINING ALOOF


Fearing others for interaction lest we are exposed we tend to remain aloof away from the public glare. This makes the situation still more untenable for us. Nobody trusts us and nobody wants to deal with us since they take us in the category of suspect. Remaining aloof means we are cut off from the outside influences. It is also a fact, what we are presently is due to our society in which we live. Living aloof is, I opine, a slow death, an existence not in the interest of any person to live a normal life.


FEAR PSYCHOSIS AT ITS PEAK


With fear psychosis prevailing, we fail to transact anything tangible or anything of substance. This is sure shot case for our downfall because whatever is done under the shadow of fear will not be a successful endeavor. Fear produces anxiety, anger, stress, mental agony and depletion in our confidence.

The following thoughts are to be kept in mind for allaying the fear of social anxieties.


• Development of confidence. Confidence cannot be inculcated as quickly as we think. It is acquired by adapting ourselves to the environs in which we are living besides dealing with the imminent challenges with confidence by keeping ourselves ready for any eventualities.


• Failure or success should not imbalance us. We should always endeavour to concentrate on the work in hand and keep balance; failure should not imbalance us but should spur us for still more effort for fructification of our effort.


• Karma is our Prime Dharma. We should think and act taking into account that Karma is our prime Dharma. In this exercise, there may come many hurdles, some hidden fears and anxieties but these should not prevent us from doing our action with determination and with full commitment without overly concerned about the results. This Karmic deeds should be without anxiety about the result of our Karma – Nish-Kam Karma pays.


• Overly concerned what others may think put breaks to our holistic development. I am not saying that we should ignore others in the scheme of things, but being overly concerned too is not a solution to the problem of social anxieties.


• Living a positive oriented life pays. Our main thrust should be to think positively and take action accordingly. No anxiety can stop our further moment if we let these anxieties take residency in our mind.

We have to have enough courage and resilience to absorb sudden shocks which come in our lives in various forms. Those who wilt under pressure are doom and those who keep their head cool despite bad patch or slump – weather the storm, of course with the grace of ALMIGHTY GOD.

DHARMA & DUTY


DHARMA AND DUTY

OUR DHARMA

Dharma is holistic concept
Looking into all the responsibilities
Which we transact righteously
Encompassing the entire course of our existence
Including all abiding canvas of our entire life
By following spiritual path
It includes duties which is personal at micro level
Duty is integral component of Dharma
Adopting all ethical and moral standpoints attached to it all

Dharma is the divine charter of life

To which we are all associated
It is the perfect commitment of our existence
Dharma is intrinsic in nature

Which is personal at micro plane.
Duty is performance of our duties
Being an integral part of Dharma
By surrendering completely to the will of the God
Thus living a spiritual oriented life through out
In performance of our duties
There is no need of applying ethical and moralistic standpoints
Duty is to perform job assigned
Which can change from time to time
Depending on the situations and conditions
Since it has external connotations.

Dharma means performing right karmic deeds/duty and practices by following righteous path. The best Dharma is surrender to the will of God.  Dharma is a holistic concept, encompassing the entire course of our life and existence. It is all inclusive, broadest, all abiding duties which we transact in the canvas of our life. Dharma includes duty which is individualistic at micro level. Duty is an integral component of Dharma, the divine charter of life to which we are all associated. In other words, Dharma is our pristine commitment to life and humanity.


Duty could be described as performance of responsibilities related to external life’s activities. The duties and responsibilities keep on changing according to the change in situation and condition. For instance, Arjuna was the disciple of Droacharya, then it was his duty to respect and obey his orders thus learn the lessons for the attainment of knowledge. On the other hand, when in the battlefield, he had to fight his own Guru. Duty could change but Dharma is all encompassing and unchanging besides Dharma is living in realization that truth is all encompassing and all the external realities are illusions.


Dharma is performance of our sense of righteousness and duty stands for performance of our job/work with a sense of responsibility here ethics and morality may not be associated.


Dharma is the performance of particular action resulting in positive nourishment of the soul. Even the smallest of action has its own dharma which goes for all life form and also for non-life forms. Duty is an action which we all are expected to perform as a routine. It may or may not be according to the principles of Dharma.


Dharma has spiritual connotation in which a person is expected to perform his sacred duty taking into account the ethical and moral aspects too. In Dharma, it is our sacred duty to remain honest and sincere besides righteous/truthful in words and deeds. On the other hand, in duties we do not have set boundaries.

Bhagwad Gita refers Dharma as a sacred duty in order to ensure spiritual growth and development in progressively deeper ways. It is a total devotion based on our intelligent decisions in the performance of our duty not an ordinary piety which an individual could follow in life while rendering our service to God while maintaining close relationship with Him; to surrender to Him and bestow a complete devotion, for our spiritual growth thus enrich the eternal Soul.


Importantly, the battle of Kurukshtra was fought in the ‘dharma-Kshetra’ since Pandava were doing their sacred duty to eliminate their evil opponents Kauravas. When Lord Krishna told Arjuna was it was his dharma or sacred duty to fight in the battle of Kurukshtra, at first, he was wary as he could not comprehend how fighting could be termed as Dharma. He considered killing as adharma as he would be fighting his own kiths and kins including his Gurus. O Janardana, that those men who devastate family dharmas have their residence fixed in hell.


While discussing the role of Dharma with mother Devki and father Vasudeva after having killed Kamsa (who personified evil), Deviki reminded Krishna to perform his sacred duty of performing the last rites of his brother Kamsa which he readily agreed. Here rules of Dharma takes into consideration the ethics, social order and tradition including religious rites.


• The real purpose of Dharma is to understand eternal soul and its relationship with our God; while practicing Dharma.
• Lord Krishna mention Dharma as the personal duty of a Bhakta.
• If we are not able to perform our duty as assigned to us then we are not able to perform our personal dharma – then we shall be earning Kukarma of Adharma.
• By letting evil to flourish, we are actually giving fillip to adharma forces. Krishan tells Arjuna to fight evil personified by Kaurava which is his personal duty and dharma in real sense of term. Otherwise he would be doing a sinful karma.
• Lord Krishna mentions Dharma as the ordinary religion and moral practices or spiritual duties which an individual performs.

Having explained the soul as different from the material body, Lord Krishna now states that what He has just taught Arjuna is “real intelligence or understanding”(buddhi), and that He has taught it “in a philosophical sense” (sankhye).


One’s Own Duties


• An individual should perform his duties born of his nature.
• Krishna also mentions that it is better to perform his duties imperfectly rather than doing some others duties perfectly. This is also termed as destruction of one’s Dharma. It leads to dangers.
• When the occurrence of adharma happens God incarnates to kill evil-doers (duskrit) and to re-establish the prevalence of dharma in real sense of terms and ensure progress, prestige and power of society according to the will of God.
• Lord Krishna advises Arjuna “And I am the strength of the strong, devoid of lust and attachment.”


Dharma and Spiritual knowledge


Lord Krishna mentions that if we follow the lives of Dharma, we are doing everything based on the principles which are in sync with ethical and moral standpoints – free of envy or any other negativity, the supreme purifier, full of piety, the confidential knowledge (following a life of truth, empathy and fairplay) with realized discernment besides free from inauspiciousness. This knowledge is conducive to dharma. These principles are easier to perform and understand since it is based on pure devotional in nature. This dharma is very easy to perform, purifies of soul besides enlightening it) which helps us in live in total bliss and peace.


• Those who possess faith, consider God as the Supreme one are dear to our God. They follow eternal dharma.
• Lord Krishna mentions three times of Dharma in the final chapter of Bhagwad Gita.

First being reaffirmation of all the principles of Dharma – performance of his own dharma rather than other’s dharma. “It is better to engage in one’s own occupation, even though one may perform it imperfectly, than to accept another’s occupation and perform it perfectly.”

Secondly, we should always surrender to the will of God above the entire range of sacred duties generally known as dharma.

Thirdly, we should always surrender to God who will deliver of all sins. It is the highest duty of the soul and hence the supreme dharma. All other dharmas are the preliminary duties leading to spiritual understanding for Krishna Conscious

GURU HAR KRISHAN JI (THE PRAKASH DIVAS OF GURU HAR KRISHAN JI IS ON 26TH JUL – TODAY) HEARTIEST FELICITATIONS TO ALL


GURU HAR KRISHAN JI (THE PRAKASH DIVAS OF GURUJI HAR KRISHAN IS ON 26TH JUL – TODAY ): HEARTIEST FELICITATIONS TO ALL

God Almighty/Akalpurakh  is very compassionate indeed
He sends His messengers to this planet

Who are filled with benevolence

And huge treasure of wisdom
With which they enlighten the general masses

And remove their ignorance
For such Gurus services to humanity is their prime motive

In the process, without carrying for their own wellbeing.

This messenger of God was born on 23 July 1656
To Sri Guru Har Rai & mother Sulakni ji
He was Eighth of Ten Sikh Gurus Jis’
Succeeding his illustrious father Sri Guru Rai Ji
Surprisingly being only of five years!

The youngest amongst all the Guru Sahibans
Being most gracious and softest at heart

Which beats for the general public.
Leaving his elder brother
Due to his collision with Mughal empire

There was an incredible incident in Gurdwara
Near Ambala at Panjokhra
A Sanskrit learnt person challenged the Guruji
To explicitly explain the Sanstrit verses from Bhagwad Gita
Lo & behold, Guruji just pointed a stick at Gangu Jheevar
An illiterate with no literacy to bank on – a total blank
Surprised everyone present
By speaking out sermons of Bhagwad Gita to the perfection.

Thence Guruji came to Delhi at Gurudwara Balaji
Where large populace came to have dharshan of Guruji
But as ill luck would have it
There was, in and around Delhi, smallpox epidemics
Guruji with his soft emotional feelings
Brimming with love for hapless populace
Took upon himself their ailment happily!

In the process became too weak to move
Refused taking any treatment for cure!
Called for five coins and a coconut for a purpose
Waved his hand three times in the air
And told that his successor be found in Bakala in Punjab
Thence he left his body at the age of seven!

He lived for others and left his mortal body for others
He advised his disciples/sangat
To respect the will of Almighty God
And praise Him and do not feel disappointed
At his untimely demise which was for hapless masses
Examples of which we find rare in the annals of history.

Gurudwara Bangla Sahib is built
Place of which was gifted by Raja of Rajesthan
After Sri Guruji, with his mystic power
Fulfilled Raja’s litmus test of recognizing
His queen amongst several ladies lining
Surprise of surprises, Guruji did this without even a moment losing

Where Guruji provided succor to epidemic stricken
And left for his ultimate journey
Though less in age as year count
Yet mature in sagacity which are reckoned
Bestowed by our Creator
May Guruji’s legacy continue inspiring us humans
Generations after generations.

GURU is a Sanskrit word meaning teacher or master or a preacher. One who is most proficient in religious gyan or the one who transmits wisdom to the general masses and they get influenced by such knowledge. The Guru removes darkness (shadow) or ignorance by the light of knowledge. The Spiritual Guru or self realized master,  who is powerhouse of spiritual knowledge and enlightens the people in general and makes their lives sublime, meaningful besides connecting us to our Akalpurakh/Creator/Bhagwan Ji. In other words, the Guru is a saintly person who enlightens the disciples with knowledge which is absolute and changes their lives with the enlightenment attained over a period of time with penance.

Guru Har Krishan Ji was born on 23 July 1656 at Kiratpur Sahib. He was born in Kirtpur to Krisen Devi (Mata Sulakhni) and Guru Har Rai. He was the second son of Guru Har Rai and mother Krishan Rai. The name of the first son being Ram Rai who was disinherited due to his anti-Guru Ghar activities. He was the Eighth Guru of ten Gurus of Sikhism. He was made eighth Sikh Guru on 20th October 1664 by his father Guru Har Raiji before his death. Harkrishan ji followed the principles dear to his father Guru Har Raiji. His father Guru Har Rai supported Sufi influenced Dara Shikoh rather than Suni influenced Aurangzeb.

Pandit Lal Chand challenged Guruji for Gita’s philosophy. With Guruji’s blessings an illiterate person named Chhaju Ram expounded the philosophy of G ita with ease. Due to this miracle, Pandit Lal Chand got influenced and became a true sikh.


Guru Harkrishan was of tender age of only FIVE years when he attained Guruship which is obviously a huge achievement in spirituality which very few attained taking into consideration the human history and attainments in spirituality and connectivity with Akalpurakh. These attainments helped the Guru to deliver them of their ailment.


The decision of Guru Har Rai made his elder son angry so much so that he complained to Emperior Aurangzeb about this decision. A message was consequently delivered to the young Guru to meet him (Aurangzeb). In the first instant, Guruji was reluctant to meet the emperor but finally decided to meet him at Delhi. Emperor wanted to test the acumen and wisdom of Guruji. He had two large trays; in one some precious ornaments, clothes and toys were kept and in other holy man’s cloak and other things were kept. These two trays were presented to Guru Harkrishan for choosing one of these. He chose the latter thus proving his holiness/pious credentials.


While Guru Harkrishanji was staying at Delhi, (a Gurdwara named Bangla Sahib was built where he stayed serving common masses relentlessly) at that time there spread an epidemic of smallpox and cholera due to which many died. Guruji attended these epidemic stricken people thus exposing himself to these dreaded diseases. In this way, he served the mankind without any discrimination of caste and creed and without caring for his own life – that is rarest of rare selfless service found in the annals of history.


Guru Har Rai ji passed away on 20th October 1661, thereupon, despondency engulfed amongst the disciples. But Guru Harkrishan consoled his disciples and advised them to abide by the wishes of the Almighty God. He also told his disciples to sing the praises of God and not to weep or feel despair.


Guru Harkrishan exhorted his disciples to keep virtue of patience despite adverse situation in which he was placed. He had an extraordinary ability to explain from the passages of Granth Sahib. In this way, Guru Harkrishan kept the legacy of Gurus intact. So much so he was immersed in humanitarian task that he himself was seized with high fever which turned into an attack of smallpox which resulted him to be confined to bed for many days.

While serving the suffering people from the epidemic day and night,  suddenly one day Guru Har Krishan, due to incessant assistance of the people suffering from epidemics of smallpox and cholera, he was taken ill with a fever. The fever turned out to be the beginning of an attack of smallpox symptoms, due to which he was perforce confined to bed for several days. The Guru’s tender body was deteriorated by the disease and thereafter Akalpurakh called him for fulfilling some other mission.

Guru Harkrishan Ji was 8th Guru amongs the 10 Gurus in Sikhism, GURU is the source of knowledge – the Temporal Lord. Sikh Gurus are very important for the Sikh religion. Here there is a strong relationship between Shishya (disciple) or student and master. The central belief of Sikhism is ONE GOD besides TEN GURUS which have been given in GURU GRANTH SAHIB (Sikh Holy Book) .

The following are the Ten Gurus of Sikhs:-

Guru Nanak Devji (1469-1539).

Guru Angadji (1504-52).

Guru Amardasji (1552-74).

Guru Ramdasji ( 1574-81).

Guru Arjan Devji (1581-1606).

Guru Har Gobindji (1606-45)

Guru Har Raiji (1630-61).

Guru Har Krishanji (1661-64).

Guru Teg Bahadurji (1675-1708).

Guru Gobind Singhji (1675-1708).

KNOW YOUR OWN SELF


KNOWING YOUR OWN SELF

Before venturing to know other’s failings
And passing judgment on their supposed shortcomings
It is in the fitness of things
To know yours first
For there is a possibility
You may find in you many.

We’ve to know our own self
With it our potentials and pitfalls
If we condemn others
Without filling our pitfalls
We’ll surely fall into self-created pits
Without even a trace of our existence.
Without self-knowledge
We are living mechanical existence
Whose control is with somebody else
We can undo the wrongs
Thus adopt new do’s based on situation.
Knowing self is to know others too
Observing everything around us
Including the Nature we’re living in
Observing a variety of its songs so melodious
In the form of sweet fragrance so enchanting
Hear the brook’s water so gracefully flowing
Listening the twitters of birds so heart-touching
Observe the rain drops falling
In the process quenching
The thirst of the earthlings
Observe the sprouting
Of the seed from the earth
And thence the growing
Of the plant with juicy fruits
So sweet to taste
Meaning we can learn much
From the plant and animal kingdom
If we care to observe them
Thus strengthening our mental power
To conceive new thoughts so creative
Thus enrich our mind and its working
As mind influences our thoughts
And to implement the same for our life’s journey ahead
With ease and in peace with the grace of God.

Compare With Yourself Only With The Person You Were Yesterday: Bhagwad Gita.

COMPARISON WITH OTHERS IS DECEPTIVE WHILE WE TRY KNOWING OUR OWN SELF

Knowing self means self-understanding fully. This means to understand who we actually are. In Bhagwad Gita, it has been made abundantly clear that our identity extends beyond our material body and we are having our existence due to our souls and can contribute our mite and attain satisfaction. We cannot be same as other person in the present form. Every individual is different and has independent identity. We have our good traits and not so good ones. We should never think ourselves perfect but our learning process should continue – learning curve should continue for self-improvement and thus for enrichment of our soul. Comparison-centric thinking can lead us astray in the long run because when we are not able to satisfy our desires, we fall are depressed thus forget the very purpose of our existence.

There are occasions when we feel pleased and other times when we feel let down. Uplifting thoughts arise when we get some good news and down when we receive some unpleasant one. All these things happen in our lives from time to time; how best of how worst we receive the news emanating from various sources depends on our own mental sturdiness or fickleness.
WHEN WE ARE BORN WE HAVE PURITY AND INNOCENCE
In the early childhood, we have pure innocence and simplicity and this purity of innocence and simplicity keep the children glued to the people who are with him without any influence of world beyond. This purity of innocence has its own significance which gets diluted when our children are exposed to outside world – with peer group, with friends on the playground, in the formal and informal institutions etc.
THOSE WHO WANT TO KNOW SELF SHOULD KNOW THE PLAY OF MOTHER NATURE
This divine songs which the Mother Nature graces us with could only be observed minutely by willing observers. It is the Song of God which the Nature as a medium graces us like falling drops of rain, falling of soft snow, soothing breeze of air and with it the fluttering of leaves of trees majestically, fragrance of flowers – the whiff of which makes the environs refreshing, running of rivulets and the sound created with it like song of nature, sight of flying of birds in a group and their twitters, observance of clouds in the sky and the shapes which makes when it moves from one place to other.
Those who observe nature in its various manifestations minutely are hugely influenced by it. They are the ones who love freedom of thoughts and expression like the Nature and its constituents. Are we listening to this song or are we lost in the demands of the age? Can the effort to listen to this divine song (rain) be our prayer? Prayer, not demanding but to cultivate the ability to receive the blessings of existence. All these bounties of the Mother Nature are there to be seen but requirement of a Pure Soul as a observer should also be there. The same things are being happening in our inner self too. Only those who know the self can know its significance and can get eternal joy out of all these.
VARIOUS ASPECTS OF OUR SELF
The question as to ‘who I am’ could only be known if we delve deep into our own self. It is said what we think we become but in real life it is not so. There are so many aspects of our self. There is our body, mind, our thinking self, functioning self, and above all the one which controls our self or fundamental self. We have, therefore, to observe all these selves which are there in our own self. This includes how we conduct ourselves, how we interact, how we deal with others, how we feel or react in different sorts of situations and conditions. Without being judgmental about ourselves, we have to dispassionately observe all our behavior pattern, habits, talks with others etc.
Then there are the things which we have to observe:-

• Do we become angry when we react on something against us.
• When we see somebody’s good fortunate, do we feel jealousy or envious about it although it is of no use rather it would be bad for us.
• When we see somebody’s worldly possessions, do we start comparing ourselves with them. This too will not do us any good.
• How we reciprocate others; our own loved ones and rank strangers.
• When we see somebody in pain, observe, do we feel the same pain or do we try alleviating the pain of somebody by personal involvement without any expectation.
• Keep a keen eye that we do not get perturbed and keep a healthy balance both in good and not so good situations/conditions.
When equanimity or balance in life gets crystallized we do not react to any fear, anger, envy or jealousy, ill-will or rancor does not affect us, we do not compare ourselves with others, we develops the positive traits like compassion, kindness, empathy, sympathy, truthful, etc. Further, we do not get carried away by any sort of negative thoughts or we do not over-react when we get success in our endeavour nor failure disappoints us.

For this to be reality, we have to observe all the activities that we transact or see in our life – be it at home, workplace, formal and informal institutions. After having done this, we get insight of it all through our inner contradiction, we remove any smut or darkness which is left in us gets enlightened when we know our own self.

Subsequently, we will start observing everything and everybody; your own self, your relations, the general public who come to you for succor. You then feel joy in rendering whatever assistance you can provide without any expectation in return. When we are not judgmental or do not identify with anything but your own self then we have got inner freedom which will influence our outer life too.
Subsequently, when we increase the sharpness of our observation, then, sure enough, we have known our self fully. Here ends all the contradiction, ego, ‘I and me’ only a pure observation and nothing else without any attachment. This happens only when we dispel the darkness which prevails inside us and shed this darkness through self-observation minutely.
ONE WHO KNOWS SELF CAN MANAGE THINGS PROPERLY
Having known out own self – when our body, mind and intellect are attuned properly so as to manage all the functions properly without feeling stressed/harassed and totally focused. That person can take tough decisions by taking all the pros and cons into consideration.

The following needs to be taken into consideration while we have known our own self:-

• Mind, body and intellect should work in sync so that there is no stress and strain felt even after performing an arduous job.
• Our body is one of the foremost functionaries which has to kept fit and fine. It could be through persistent exercises or through Yogic postures. It helps focus our mind.
• Mind to be in total control. It should not waver when meeting emergent situation. Focused meditation pays huge dividends.
• The idea that positive attitude always pays should never be forgotten.
• We are prone to compare ourselves with others in a variety of ways – in relation to our worldly possession, in relation to our knowledge etc. In this comparison we forget that we have to make concerted efforts for self-improvement. In Bhagwad Gita it has been made amply clear – Compare Yourself Only With The Person You Were Yesterday; then things will improve.

You can manage others better if you know how best to manage your own self.

OUR BODY, MIND AND SOUL/SPIRIT


OUR BODY, MIND AND SOUL/SPIRIT

LISTENING OUR HEART

Heart is the ocean of soft feelings
Where all tides of emotions
For a moment are like high tides
While other times these are very low
Low and high emotions
Emanating from our heart
May hurt the person concerned
But never others’ sensitive emotions
Since our Creator resides here
And wherein our Creator lives
There cannot be animosity
Prejudice and Anxiety
There is purity in thinking
There is purity in dealing
Where authority of truth prevails
Liars, judgementals and people with baser ideas & jealousy
Have restrictive entry
For all the negative traits really..
.


We are well aware that man is made up of body, mind, soul or spirit and heart. Our soul evolves with every good experience we have in life – all the activities we are performing bestow us opportunity to learn something through those experiences we garner from activities. Our body is the medium through which we perform these activities and get experiences. These are controlled by our mind and heart based purely on our thought precepts.


FUNCTIONS OF OUR SOUL


The soul is on a journey on this earth and provides life to our body. As long as soul resides in the body, our body has life, bereft of soul in the body, the body becomes inert, lifeless thus cannot perform any function. Thus our soul is just like fuel in a vehicle. As long as there is fuel in the vehicle, it works or else it does not run at all.


MORE RELIANCE ON MIND AND SENSES


We must have experienced that we mostly are controlled by our mind; which means our senses control us. We get attracted by the outer attractions without seeing the inherent qualities. Therefore, we have more outer influences. By so doing, we live in the world of outer shows and glitters and ignore our inner potentials. By giving more credence to our mind, we tend to ignore our heart. When we have less reliance on our heart, then, sure enough, we are living in the world of our own making, a mirage which is not based on truth.


The work of our heart is reduced but our mind takes major decisions. We are controlled by our mind through our ego; based on the thinking that whatever has been happening happens due to ‘I, me’ etc. . In order to listen more to our mind, we tend to narrow the function of our heart. By narrowing the influence of our heart, we tend to narrow ourselves in knowledge and wisdom. Most of our sufferings are due to more reliance on our mind and senses resulting in physiological and psychological disorders. The overbearing influence of our senses generate stress and strain, ego-centric tendencies, greed, fear, envy, jealousy, anxieties and above all ignorance of highest order pervading. When we give more credence to our mind and senses then we may get momentary satiety but ultimately we are unsatisfied. We sleep and get some solace, eat and drink just to fulfil the need of our body, but after sometimes again we feel hungry. If it is not provided, we feel dismayed.


CONDITIONING OF OUR MIND


As we grow up, our mind gets conditioned, we become judgmental due to the influence of our parents, and other members of the society. The use of our heart starts narrowing down. This way, our egocentric tendencies start increasing. Instead of doing everything freely, we start to be restrictive or protective, we adopt clever means to get something based on our mind’s dictates, act smart to showcase ourselves to the society, rather than becoming non-judgmental, free, possess harmony, empathy or kindness toward others as per the demands of our heart.


TRAITS OF OUR HEART


The trait of heart is positive in nature, which include: understanding, forgiveness, patience, tolerance, assistance to the needy, kindness, empathy, sympathy, altruism, balance and harmony and above all spreading love and smiles amongst the fellow beings without discrimination. If we listen more to our heart, we tend to adopt all the good qualities and change our habits and behavior as such. The heart does not care for negative things which are of little value as far as sagacity or wisdom is concerned. Such a person remains balance in all the experiences – good or not so good. If we work according to our heart yearning, there would be joy of giving, joy of sharing and joy in doing everything. Then winning or losing will not matter at all. When winning or losing does not affect us in the least, we tend to act without attaching with the fruits of our action. Only the job would be to accomplish our task truthfully without too much reliance on the result of our Karma. There would not be any thought about what others would think about us. We shall be doing our job without any attachment to the fruits of our action – with joy abandon. This way, we shall not be having social anxieties; what others may be thinking about our thoughts and Karma based on those Karmic deeds. As a child, we used to do or think without any encumbrance or attachment. But as we age, influence of the peer group, formal and informal institutions and society in general changed our outlook thus orienting our habits and attitudes.


We must have seen the physical and mental suffering of the world at large. For these solutions are not far to seek. These are available within us only. If we delve inside us, a sea change can happen which will make us realize that we have ocean of opportunities to refine ourselves but for this to become reality, we have to work as our heart bids us to do. Since the messages originating from our hearts are pure, simple and based on truth, we can ensure our growth spiritually by following these messages. A pure desire comes to our mind whenever there is a need of this. We tend to be exercised whenever we see somebody in pain as per the bids of our heart. But when the ego-mind just jumps into the fray and stops us doing something which is good and subsequently uses its instruments of anger, jealousy, pride, coercion etc. Our mind will give thousands of reasons for not doing a good thing. Suppose when we see an accident victim, our heart tells us to render requisite assistance but the mind overcomes this thought and we tend not to render any help citing some reason for not doing so.


HEART DEALS WITH SOFT EMOTIONS


Essentially, we are sometimes duped by the suggestions or reasons given by the mind which takes into consideration the extraneous perspectives into consideration thus leaving our soft emotions. We’ve self motives in whatever we do and mind is the architect of these. We always behave with others in the manner so that we get maximum benefit from whatever we do or do not do. We have become selfish in everything we transact. The heart does not deal with profit or loss but with soft emotions.. It thrives on love and compassion, in sharing and caring. It tells us how best we can do good to others. Due to our policy of discarding the heart and its voice, we tend to listen more our mind.


Conclusively, if we want to be selfless with positive attitude, we have to listen more to our heart than mind. For this, we have to delve inside us. It may be difficult initially, but after some practice, it will give us joy and happiness. We have to expand our heart and contract the mind, listen more to our heart and less to our mind and its senses. Then we shall feel more relaxed, more joyful. Our body, mind and soul will work in tandem and we shall be smiling more, there would be earnest dealings with others based on give and take, forgetting and forgiving, and finally a purposeful life with the active participation of God.

ON OUR MARRIED LIVES


ON OUR MARRIED LIVES

In essence, it may be humans, animals, birds, or any other living world, naturally like company with whom each one could share good or not so good tidings. Here humans are different  altogether since humans have been bestowed the power of discrimination. When we have institutionalized marriages or any other types of understanding to live together, in which spouses share everything in order to lessen the effect of any untoward situation and condition in which they are placed. Sharing and caring is more in the couples who understand each other thereby making the life more congenial, worth living and above all purposeful. Life becomes a bed of roses for those couples who have compatibility, understand each other besides share good and not so good moments with each others.

When the married people have children, their lives become still more worth living, cohesive and appealing for a happy living for the couple. The life of obligation/responsibility starts more with children as they require proper growth and development/upbringing.

I got a wonderful experience how best our spouse could come to our assistance. I want to  share the episode as to how our partners can stand us in good stead when we are down and out thereby help infuse self-confidence  in us by assuaging our frayed tempers. I was disappointed hugely when I was made the butt of controversy wrongly where I had no role to play. I quickly telephoned my wife and she was very concerned about the matter. She, without mincing any words, advised me to remain calm and face the situation calmly as she trusted that I was wrongly implicated. I did so and came out unscathed. Then I realized the significance of each spouse who comes to the succor to his/her spouse at the critical juncture. Thus our spouse is always there to render us assistance in whatever way she/he can and deliver you from the piquant predicament by advising to follow the truth come what may.

The following points need consideration for a married life:-

1. When one is married, one becomes two for all intends and purposes and also the responsibilities increase for each other.
2. After marriage, the male member has to shoulder the additional responsibility of looking after the female member; although females now are taking care of families more than male counterparts, in some cases.
3. Both husband and wife should always remember the vows that they respectively take during their marriage ceremony.
4. When after marriage, they get their offspring, which imposes again more additional responsibilities.
5. Looking after the children is really not an easy task. it is in fact a full time job since both the parents have to do everything so that the children get proper care and attention.
6. It is a fact that the brain develops till the age of 5–6 years, it is therefore, necessary that the child is bestowed all the care and protection for its upbringing.
7. In some cases, when the parents are old, besides the wife and children, the male members have to take care of their parents along with grand-parents too. This calls for huge responsibilities to face.
8. Then after the child attains the age of three, the parents, have to seek the proper school for formal education.
9. The parents have the responsibility to transfer the family culture and traditions to their offspring to keep their family values in tact.
10. A family life could be a happy family if compatibility exists in the lives of the spouses.
11. Life should be on the basis of give and take. It should not be a single way traffic i.e. that only one spouse should take responsibility and the other one just becomes silent spectator.
12. If at any time, there is misunderstanding, the same should be settled amicably; on the basis of forgetting and forgiving.
13. When children are there to look after, each spouse has the responsibility to use all the resources to provide a healthy growth of their children.
14. Each comes to the succour of other as and when some incident occurs.

Thus, marriage is such an institution which prompts us to take all those responsibilities in order to run the affairs of the family. This togetherness brings about huge satisfaction that we are doing something which our parents have done for us.

FELICITATIONS ON GURU PURNIMA TODAY


OUR REVERED GURU

GURU PURNIMA

When we are utterly confused
When there is no way out
When everywhere we see dark clouds
When we’re in the state of immobility
When we need somebody
Who could provide us mobility
And thus remove the inertia
From our midst
And help us
Acquire self-realisation
Who can this personage be
Other than our Guru.
It is the day dedicated
To the Gurus or teachers or preachers
In Sankrit the two syllables
Gu amd Ru
Gu stands for darkness or ignorance
Ru means remover of darkness which prevails
Hence Guru is the one
Who removes ignorance or darkness from our midst
Thus bestowing enlightenment
Which enlivens our life
Guru thus could be termed as a spiritual preacher
Who possess knowledge (Gyan)
Acquired with penance
Thru a lot of perseverance
Over a period of time
Guru is a true Karma Yogi
Based and got purely on the principles of Karma Yoga
Thus earned for themselves the category of evolved
And enlightened soul
The Guru transfer the knowhow
Either through Yogic postures
Of through spiritual teachings
Provide us guidance
While we are engulfed
In sorrow and discontent
By infusing spiritual longings
Along with making their disciples aware
About eternal reality or truth about God.

On this day Lord Shiva
Termed as the Adiyogi or First Guru
The first Guru of great repute
Who transferred the Mantra
To Saptarishis – the seven Rishis
Which became the seven basic forms of Yoga of a Yogi.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji is most revered one

Who transformed the thoughts and actions

Of the multitudes by His preaching

His beliefs and teachings

Given in Sri Granth Sahib Ji obviously

Touch our heart, mind and soul immensely.

GURU NANAK DEV JI

The Sage Ved Vyasa
Was the greatest of all Gurus
Who had penned the great epic Mahabharta
Was not only born on this day
But also started writing Brahma Sutra on this day
Recitation of which is also done on this day
That is the why
This day is also called as Vyasa Purnima too.

The Buddhists celebrate this day
And remember Lord Buddha
For his teachings.
The Jains celebrate this day
And remember Lord Mahavira
For enlightening them
With his teachings.
This festival is celebrated
On the full moon day (Purnima)
In the month of June-July (Ashadha)
On this day we offer special prayers to our Guru Ji
And thank him
For enriching our life
By making us aware about the essence of life
By whispering in our ears the Mantra
The most appropriate one
Reciting of which
Makes us turn inwards.
On this day, people celebrate this day as teacher’s day
The students thank them for removing ignorance from their midst
This helps in consolidating their bond of relationship.
On this day the students organize
Various competitions by reciting poetry and hold debates
Finally show their sincere gratitude to their teachers.

We know Acharya Chanakya
The all encompassing Guru of King Chandergupt Mauriya
The renowned author of Arthashastra
Who with his wisdom changed the rulers so tyrannical
With his philosophy and sagacity.

As the parents are the first Gurus
For the children
Because of their guidance
Thus they show their special respect
And thank them for what they have done for them
Without which they could not have moved any further