In essence, it may be humans, animals, birds, or any other living world, naturally like company with whom each one could share good or not so good tidings. Here humans are different  altogether since humans have been bestowed the power of discrimination. When we have institutionalized marriages or any other types of understanding to live together, in which spouses share everything in order to lessen the effect of any untoward situation and condition in which they are placed. Sharing and caring is more in the couples who understand each other thereby making the life more congenial, worth living and above all purposeful. Life becomes a bed of roses for those couples who have compatibility, understand each other besides share good and not so good moments with each others.

When the married people have children, their lives become still more worth living, cohesive and appealing for a happy living for the couple. The life of obligation/responsibility starts more with children as they require proper growth and development/upbringing.

I got a wonderful experience how best our spouse could come to our assistance. I want to  share the episode as to how our partners can stand us in good stead when we are down and out thereby help infuse self-confidence  in us by assuaging our frayed tempers. I was disappointed hugely when I was made the butt of controversy wrongly where I had no role to play. I quickly telephoned my wife and she was very concerned about the matter. She, without mincing any words, advised me to remain calm and face the situation calmly as she trusted that I was wrongly implicated. I did so and came out unscathed. Then I realized the significance of each spouse who comes to the succor to his/her spouse at the critical juncture. Thus our spouse is always there to render us assistance in whatever way she/he can and deliver you from the piquant predicament by advising to follow the truth come what may.

The following points need consideration for a married life:-

1. When one is married, one becomes two for all intends and purposes and also the responsibilities increase for each other.
2. After marriage, the male member has to shoulder the additional responsibility of looking after the female member; although females now are taking care of families more than male counterparts, in some cases.
3. Both husband and wife should always remember the vows that they respectively take during their marriage ceremony.
4. When after marriage, they get their offspring, which imposes again more additional responsibilities.
5. Looking after the children is really not an easy task. it is in fact a full time job since both the parents have to do everything so that the children get proper care and attention.
6. It is a fact that the brain develops till the age of 5–6 years, it is therefore, necessary that the child is bestowed all the care and protection for its upbringing.
7. In some cases, when the parents are old, besides the wife and children, the male members have to take care of their parents along with grand-parents too. This calls for huge responsibilities to face.
8. Then after the child attains the age of three, the parents, have to seek the proper school for formal education.
9. The parents have the responsibility to transfer the family culture and traditions to their offspring to keep their family values in tact.
10. A family life could be a happy family if compatibility exists in the lives of the spouses.
11. Life should be on the basis of give and take. It should not be a single way traffic i.e. that only one spouse should take responsibility and the other one just becomes silent spectator.
12. If at any time, there is misunderstanding, the same should be settled amicably; on the basis of forgetting and forgiving.
13. When children are there to look after, each spouse has the responsibility to use all the resources to provide a healthy growth of their children.
14. Each comes to the succour of other as and when some incident occurs.

Thus, marriage is such an institution which prompts us to take all those responsibilities in order to run the affairs of the family. This togetherness brings about huge satisfaction that we are doing something which our parents have done for us.

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4 thoughts on “ON OUR MARRIED LIVES”

  1. Marriage as an institution is where each spouse performs his/her duties and runs the family as a cohesive unit where everything is shared and cared.

    Please appraise the blog and offer your comments. I love your comments always.


  2. My dear friend Harbans

    Thank you very much for sharing your lovely experience with your wife and how she has supported you in a difficult situation.

    This time I want to add some quotes by Sant Kirpal Singh, Dr. Harbhajan Singh and by Kabir about the meaning of marriage.

    Marriage and its meaning
    What does marriage mean? It is uniting two souls together in earthly life.
    They  should help each other in weal or woe, and both of them should try to reach God.
    Be of use to your own self and to others as well, because God resides in every heart.
    Sant Kirpal Singh
    Marriage is the holy union pledged in the name of God
    This means that we have to lead a very holy life. The meaning of marriage according to the holy scriptures is not explained to the people – one does not speak about it, not even theoretically one knows what the inner meaning is. The real meaning of marriage, as Master says, is to unite ourselves with God. Wife and husband should get together only for the very right cause. The worldly things, the worldly issues are secondary.

    First thing is to maintain the marriage in the right way. If we know how to maintain the marriage, the issues who will come out of the marriage will also lead a true life.

    Second thing: marriage is also a reaction to the past – who has been connected with whom (is a reaction oft he past). So marriage is a noble cause, but only if this union, this ´bond of trust’, remains a pledge in the name of God.
    Dr Harbhajan Singh

    Both of you should go together as equals; both united together, not as slave–I don’t mean that–but as equals, both united. So marriage means taking a companion in life who will be with us in weal or woe in our earthly sojourn, and we should help each other to meet God.
    Sant Kirpal Singh

    Two souls joined together in matrimony should feel one in two bodies. That’s all I meant. I never meant any obsession, you see. Marriage is taking a companion in life; they should have one thought, one word, one ideal to follow. They should not be clashing. They should be receptive to each other. So that is what I meant, one soul working in two bodies. It is God who unites. One is born somewhere. The other is born somewhere else. It is the flowing pen of God which unites them. When God has united them they should work together. “Whom God unites, let no earthly power disunite.” So they should work as one soul in two bodies. Live an ideal life and be of service to others also. An animal can be of service to itself but man is man who is of service to others as well as to himself.
    Sant Kirpal Singh

    Those whom God has united, should remain together through weal or woe, both make an effort to know God. One duty may be of begetting children. One duty. Not all. Anyhow, it is not a machine of enjoyment. It’s a sacred duty. It is a sacrament.
    Sant Kirpal Singh

    You see, according to give and take, reactions of the past, men are brought together to finish up their give and take. Others are brought together as sons and daughters and so on. This is just to wind up the whole give and take.
    Sant Kirpal Singh

    And our purpose of life is to get married as a soul with God (united with God without coming back in the wheel of coming and going. In this connection Kabir says:
    “I’m going away to be married with God- Oh people, I’m going away to be married with God.” Marriage of the soul with the Oversoul.”

    Thank you very much, my friend 🙂
    Warm regards

  3. Having married too early we, after 40 years apart, were granted a second chance to apply the learning you outline. That was 10 years ago. We are doing better this time

    1. Our learning could be any time to refine ourselves – to become a better person. Here self-awareness does a world of difference to us. Your remarks are always a motivation for me.

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