SOCIAL ANXIETIES & THEIR EFFECTS ON US
Social anxieties include many negative thoughts which agonize some of us while interacting or dealing with others in the society. These are actually pre-conceived and inherent anxieties which have made residency in our mind, depleting our will to go on and fight the existing problem. These anxieties are individualistic in nature and vary from person to person – depending on the propensity of an individual to take in the challenges that the society throws while dealing or interacting with others to clarify his/her standpoint(s). Also, fear of failure looming large in the mind before even facing the situation and condition because of a particular thinking. In other words, we think that our thoughts may not be in sync with the thoughts of other members in the society.
Then there are times when we are in deep trouble due to mounting debts and the people from whom we have taken loan are after us for payment. the business we are running does not give the dividends we expect despite our best efforts. This anxiety sometimes pushes some over the edge.
In essence, there are occasions when the business empire we have raised due to our enterprise and hard work fails miserably due to which we fear for social drubbing and disrespect in the society resulting in unbearable stress. The down-ward slump in business impacts us physiologically and physiologically. Those who have internal strength and resolve to withstand the pressure weather the storm but those who cannot are pushed over the edge and commit suicides. This is what happened to the creator of one of the India’s best known retail brands founder and chairman of Rs. 4200 Crore Café Coffee Day (CCD) in Bengaluru yesterday. He could not take the huge pressure from lenders and society at large and ended his life. This is what the social anxiety could lead when our chips are down. In the letter he had penned down for his lender and others ‘I’ve railed as an entrepreneur, forgive and pardon me’. This is what SOCIAL ANXIETY COULD LEAD TO if we are not able to absorb or withstand the pressure.
CAUSES OF OUR ANXIETIES ARE IMMENSE
In life, we have so many causes for being disappointed, despondent, worrisome occasions, which we manifest in our work culture or sometimes in our public dealings. These worrisome factors arise because of our hidden fears; what others may be thinking about us; why others think in a particular way, what changes we have to undertake so that we may not think like that? In these irritating scenarios, many a times, we get distracted from our main mission in our lives. These distractions also lead to confusion. This bewilderment results in anxiety and this anxiety leads to distractions from the work in hand. The consequences of it all are not far to seek.
The persistent social anxiety is recipe for the following consequences:-
LACK OF CONCENTRATION
While we are thinking about what others may be thinking about us then we are not able to focus on the job at hand. No having focus means we shall not be able to complete the job we are performing. Non-performance will lead to our failure. This is the result of our worrying factor only.
LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Thinking about what others may be thinking about us, we tend to have multiple thoughts on postponing important decisions, failing to even start the set goal thereby not able to fructify the set goal, etc. Non-confidence also leads to not take initiatives in anything. Non-initiative leads to our immobility. Non-immobility leads to stoppage of further growth and development in our lives. It should never be forgotten that stoppage of growth in our thoughts leads to drying of our knowledge acquiring efficacy. When this happens, you can well fathom, we are neither here nor there. In other words, we would be loser physiologically and psychologically too.
THINKING MORE ON WHAT WENT WRONG IN THE PAST RATHER THAN ACTING PRESENTLY TO RECTIFY THE SITUATION
It has been observed that we remain stuck with the past – past happenings never leave us. Remaining glued to the past events prevents us to take action at the present time, the present moment which brings about our downfall.
CREATION OF CONFUSION (WORKS GETTING MIXED)
In an effort to acquire perfection, we tend to overdo something, thus making a mockery of ourselves in the eyes of the general public. This may be due to the emphasis on getting too much scenario but too little result.
MIND GETTING BLANK
When we have social anxiety; what others will think if i do things like this or that may lead to putting pressure on our faculties resulting in mind getting bogged down on details thus our propensity of mind think any further gets reduced or in some cases gets blank response.
NOT TAKING CONFIDENT DECISIONS HAVING LURKING FEARS
In our zeal to care more about the people around, we tend to take decisions not according to our efficacy but what others may be thinking about ourselves. By giving more emphasis on others, we lose our own moorings. This way, we are neither here nor there.
KEEPING AWAY FROM OTHERS FEARING UNPLEASANT SITUATION
In our enthusiasm to avoid unpleasant situation developing in case of meeting others, and to avoid taking any unlikable situation emerging due to our meeting, we tend to not to meet others.
Fearing others for interaction lest we are exposed we tend to remain aloof away from the public glare. This makes the situation still more untenable for us. Nobody trusts us and nobody wants to deal with us since they take us in the category of suspect. Remaining aloof means we are cut off from the outside influences. It is also a fact, what we are presently is due to our society in which we live. Living aloof is, I opine, a slow death, an existence not in the interest of any person to live a normal life.
FEAR PSYCHOSIS AT ITS PEAK
With fear psychosis prevailing, we fail to transact anything tangible or anything of substance. This is sure shot case for our downfall because whatever is done under the shadow of fear will not be a successful endeavor. Fear produces anxiety, anger, stress, mental agony and depletion in our confidence.
The following thoughts are to be kept in mind for allaying the fear of social anxieties.
• Development of confidence. Confidence cannot be inculcated as quickly as we think. It is acquired by adapting ourselves to the environs in which we are living besides dealing with the imminent challenges with confidence by keeping ourselves ready for any eventualities.
• Failure or success should not imbalance us. We should always endeavour to concentrate on the work in hand and keep balance; failure should not imbalance us but should spur us for still more effort for fructification of our effort.
• Karma is our Prime Dharma. We should think and act taking into account that Karma is our prime Dharma. In this exercise, there may come many hurdles, some hidden fears and anxieties but these should not prevent us from doing our action with determination and with full commitment without overly concerned about the results. This Karmic deeds should be without anxiety about the result of our Karma – Nish-Kam Karma pays.
• Overly concerned what others may think put breaks to our holistic development. I am not saying that we should ignore others in the scheme of things, but being overly concerned too is not a solution to the problem of social anxieties.
• Living a positive oriented life pays. Our main thrust should be to think positively and take action accordingly. No anxiety can stop our further moment if we let these anxieties take residency in our mind.
We have to have enough courage and resilience to absorb sudden shocks which come in our lives in various forms. Those who wilt under pressure are doom and those who keep their head cool despite bad patch or slump – weather the storm, of course with the grace of ALMIGHTY GOD.