ON REJECTION AND ACCEPTANCE BY OTHERS
Our feelings and emotions are linked to our highs and lows of our lives. When we are not accepted or loved by our own relatives and friends, we feel let down. More the nearness of our relations, the more the emotional upsurge if we are rejected. Meaning the important desire of everybody is to feel accepted and loved and understood by those who are around us. It may be at home or at workplace. We feel let down when somebody cold-shoulders us and remains insensitive to us. In fact showing indifference is worst than any insult which a person can give us. The moment we feel we are rejected, anxiety syndrome engulfs us immeasurably. This impacts us physically and psychologically.
Factually, man is a social animal and sustains on the relations for meeting his requirement as he is not perfect in meeting his needs. No man can live in this world in isolation. In the relations, it is not merely our self-regards, receiving love and affection but also our emergent needs are met by others. For instance, when we fall sick, we require to be take care for providing us medi-care or other assistance when we are not able to move. Or may be we require some monetary assistance, then we can have the help of others in order to meet our needs.
Whenever our self-esteem gets punctured, we tend to spiral downward emotionally, get frustrated. All this impact us depending on the degree of our problem.
HEIGHT OF TOLERANCE
We as humans, can take in a lot of sufferings in the forms of diseases, death of our near ones, loss in the business, failure in our lives etc. We feel disappointed for sometimes but have to accept things and move on. This is possible only when we know how to keep balance. This balance could be acquired by traversing inside our own self. Knowing our own self. Connecting with God for thanking Him for everything that He has endowed us with. Enjoy His bounties while living a purposeful life of compassion and empathy.
REJECTION IS VERY BAD
All our failings in our lives could be tolerated and with time forgotten and ameliorated with our persistence and mental toughness but one thing that cannot be tolerated is our rejection by others or when somebody tells us that we are worthless and people are indifferent towards us; especially so by our close relatives and friends. The insensitivity towards us saps our energy and this let-down could spell poorly for us in the process.
WE WANT IT OR NOT REJECTION KNOCKS OUR DOOR
We expect it or not sometimes rejection knocks our door without asking. It could come after we are rejected for a marriage proposal, rejected for promotion despite our best efforts, our work not appreciated despite our best efforts, or when somebody feign ignorance of our acquaintance when he/she has reached to a position of importance, when our own children do not care in our oldage (which in fact is a most degrading and humiliating rejection). When somebody does not like us despite our best efforts, then it pains us. This rejection could visit us any time. We have to be very careful about these rejections. Of all the rejections, when this rejection comes from our most dear ones then it gives us more disappointment. Everyone of us must have experience of rejection from others at one time or other. But a big shock comes when our own forsake us and reject us when we require them the most.
It is worthwhile to explore our self-worth for our self-regard. For this to be a reality, we have to work hard. It gives us joy in our lives. Know the self gives us eternal joy, a satiety we shall not exchange for anything in the world. Everything does not transpire according to our liking. Sometimes we have to face opposition too.. We have to persevere to gain something tangible which is of importance for us including our self-esteem. It is not got on the platter for us. We have to earn it.
OUR IMAGE AND OTHERS
In essence, those who have grown old and seen ups and downs in their lives do form their own image and with it the image of others too because of their dealings with others. When we interact with others, we tend to behave and act based on the image we form the image of others in our heart. But does it happen so in true life. No it does not. People sometimes behave in a particular way we least expected and the image formed earlier gets just shattered or blurred. I am of the view that we should not give too much of credence to others’ change of image but we should ourselves remain steadfast in our conviction – remain true to our word and deed so that people believe us what we say and for what we stand for. We have not lower ourselves but soar out image to the extent possible – rejection or no rejection from others should not matter to us. Despite our best efforts for maintaining our image, if still somebody takes us for granted, then be it. No problem absolutely because we and our God knows the truth. We are not here to please others all the time. If some people reject us due to their own follies, it should not concern us much.
Our body feels pain and pleasure but our image does not; it is merely our shadow. But we are not even the shadows of great personalities who make huge difference with their thoughts and actions. We can emulate some of their traits and make a place for ourselves. For this to be reality, we have to work hard. When we have made a niche for ourselves then rejection or no rejection by others, we consider rejection or acceptance with the same thought. We are equipoise in rejection or in acceptance. No problem when somebody takes us indifferently or shows insensitivity towards us. We know our limitations and strength. Owning or disowning by others hardly matters since we are our own masters since our GREAT MASTER is with us for sure. This happens when we start seeking our true self by traversing in the inner recesses of our heart. The Bible says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain”. And this goodness comes when we have satisfaction by meeting others needs; joy of giving, and by living in the present moment with total belief in ourselves and on our Creator. Herein lies the strength of our character, no matter the ups and downs of lives.