What I should do to maintain our relationship when I found my wife cheating on me in my absence but now she has realized her folly and wants to remain sincere and honest?


What I should do to maintain our relationship when I found my wife cheating on me in my absence but now she has realized her folly and wants to remain sincere and honest?

It should never be forgotten, man is a social animal and could commit mistakes anytime anywhere. These mistakes may be simple or the gravest one. But one common thing amongst these all is that we all commit mistakes in our life – these may be in mere thoughts or application of these thoughts into action. These thoughts could be good or not so good and actions may be ethical or unethical and immoral.

iN ESSENCE, one thing is sure NOBODY yes NOBODY in this world is PERFECT including myself – just i should confess though i have not touched any other females (except, of course my wife) with any ill-intention, except while performing my profession as a Homeopath, who came across me. But i cannot say that i did not have any unethical thoughts. Being human means we have to live with our imperfections and there occasions when all have their weaker moments or situations when our mind and five sense over-power us and we commit something which others thing to be immoral and unethical. It should also be kept in mind that even an unethical or immoral thought too is taboo in real sense of term.

I had the privilege of discussing the similar case with one of the male colleague who asked my opinion. He related to me two incidents about his wife going astray. First as told by his confidante and the other one seen by himself. He could forget the former one as a false one but cannot ignore the latter one as he had seen that in person. I asked my friend whether he saw his wife going astray more than two occasions to which he told that except the two occasions, he did not think his wife had done anything wrong except for two occasions. There may be cases like this in the lives of others too; some incidents were known to the husbands or wives and others just not known and could be termed as slippages which could be forgotten by the doers after some time.

In your case too your wife must have some flings or weaker moments wherein she submitted herself but after realization dawned or when her escapades came to your attention, sure enough, you must have been shattered. Anybody naturally will feel so. But if your wife has repented her fault and promised to mend her ways then you should forgot the incident(s) as a bad dream and lead a normal life – take care of your family as seriously as you can. Certainly your wife would prove to be your best spouse for the entire life-span if you forget and forgive her NOW for the sake of your bright future and concentrate on your profession and bringing peace and harmony in your FAMILY with the dictum GOOD MIND GOOD FIND.

As your wife has promised you that she would be honest and trustworthy besides remaining remaining dedicated to you, therefore, you should believe her and FORGET AND FORGIVE your wife for her faulty path and lead a life sufficing with LOVE AND AFFECTION.

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GOD is very compassionate with us in every way, need is to use those blessings which are the results of His bounties and thank Him for everything that He gives us. We should also share these bounties with our fellow-beings. I am the person who loves God and His Creations. I love my Creator and not fear Him. My children are adjusted to life, incommensurate, to their Karma and destiny. I have served as a Sr CGO for about 38 years in a Central Govt. Presently I am serving as an Adm Offer with an Engineering College. I am a spiritual person with liberal ways of thinking. I respect all the religions as I respect mine since I understand that all the religions are the pathways to a SINGLE ENTITY - paths for connecting with Him may be different but the ULTIMATE SOURCE IS ONE. I want to be a student till last day of my life. I am a homeopath also, which I pursue as a social service only. Happy moments, I take as God's Gifts, sad ones I take as His Test for me. I believe that He will surely assist me in this Test of His, come what may. Really. I have more belief in Him than I am on my own. You can comprehend my philosophy in life from my write-ups which I write while interacting with them. I firmly believe that every person has the special characteristic which other fellows cannot have and I respect that person as such. With the grace of Almighty God, a book entitled INNER THOUGHTS which could be purchased online from http://flipkart.com. This book is based on the topics which have been penned down. That is why it is rightly said if intentions are good, everything goes well with you.

15 thoughts on “What I should do to maintain our relationship when I found my wife cheating on me in my absence but now she has realized her folly and wants to remain sincere and honest?”

  1. It is good to have good relationship between spouses. We should rather maintain good relationship despite many fault lines.

    do appraise the answer and offer your comments.



  2. A very relevant topic in today’s age. People are moving around a lot more than earlier times. They are mingling with a lot of people and staying away from home due to work. Desires are at an all-time high to live a life in fast lane, get that promotion at the earliest or live for a lifestyle beyond one’s means. While trying to achieve this enigma, there are a number of chances one may go astray, be it a man or woman. One has to see the intent of a person in totality.
    Thank you so much, Harbans.

    1. Affirmative. Due to fast life, sometimes, we commit some mistakes; intentionally or just because of some other cause. We being humans, we sometimes go astray. But these should not be taken so serious that the fabric of our relations go awry. By this, I do not mean that we should go whole hog but sometimes mistakes do occur but these mistakes should not break our relationships. If female require the association of a male and the contrary to it is also necessary. Relationship is a two way traffic. Be that as it may, We are the normal people, even the seers and saints had their weaker moments but it hardly means life stopped there. It goes on. Regards.

    1. To ‘forget’ would be problem but without forgetting, we cannot go forward in our lives. It should follow in the sequence forgive and forget then only the relationship can go along. Regards.

      1. Yes sir, every experience positive or negative should give us lesson that is the truth of our existence. – sweet and sometimes not so sweet. Regards.

  3. Forgive me for saying this, but it’s refreshing to see men speaking of forgiveness! It takes love and dedication to make a marriage work! Bravo for speaking publicly about it!!

    (To answer a hidden question: no, I have never cheated in my marriages- 2, but my second husband accused me of it a few times. He died after our divorce, and now I don’t want to know if HE was unfaithful to me and projected what he was doing. I’d find it difficult to hear, even after a divorce, because it doesn’t have to do with my feelings towards him, because betrayal is difficult no matter what.)

    1. Why males cannot speak of ‘forgiveness’ if males could be forgiven by their females partners then what not men? Furthermore, are men not have their weaker moments? All have and why not?

      It is a hypocrisy to ‘accuse others without taking into consideration our own misdemeanor. When it comes to weaker moments, everybody have – then why one yardstick for males and other for females?

      In case of your ‘second husband’, he has had the result of his Karma. If we unreasonably accuse others, we shall get its results soon. What feelings you can have for a person who accuse you unreasonably. But i stand for forgiving and forgetting since in my life although i have not have any relationship with others, yet, i have done what i have professed in my answerr!!

      1. I totally agree with you Harbans! Living in the Western culture this isn’t something that is necessarily practiced or shown in the media so it is refreshing to see it spoken of! Bravo to you and to other men!

      2. We humans should not ignore anything when it comes to human relationship – positives and negatives should teach us lesson and experience to live life purposefully. Western culture or Eastern one hardly makes difference when it comes to human nature and their thoughts and actions (Karmic deeds0 or misdeeeds – Ku-karma. Thanks and regards.

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