CONFLICT AVOIDANCE IS ESSENTIAL BUT NOT AT THE COST OF SELF–ESTEEM
Nobody can dispute that we all want peaceful existence. But there is a caveat; conflict resolution should not be at any cost including our self-esteem. It should never be forgotten that when self-esteem is lost then will to live with respect evaporates. I opine, fighting conflicting situations doggedly, when it is essential, is better than living a dog-like existence. Rather dying with respect is better after fighting like a lion is suitable than living on somebody terms? If possible, we should unite to take on a conflicting situation head-on, in order to resolve it. United we stand, divided we fall should never be forgotten.
AVOIDANCE OF CONFLICT IS SYNONIMOUS WITH PURCHASING TEMPORARY PEACE
The subject chosen by me was the question ‘IS AVOIDANCE OF CONFLICT ESSENTIAL OR NOT?’ I chose this subject since while dealing with day to day, we come across several scenarios wherein conflict of interest comes to fore. My personal experience on this aspect is; if we try to avoid conflicting situations every time, means we compromise against the wrongs against us. Alternative is to face hard realities of life resolutely while agreeing to disagree on certain aspects where some meeting ground could emerge after persuasion and discussions. Importantly, we should never be rigid in any aspect, otherwise, we would have disharmony in our relationship with others. a disrespect tag which will be harmful for our further growth and development.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION AT WORKPLACE THROUGH MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING
In the workplace, there are times when we face some piquant situation wherein we cannot easily decide whether we should face the hard realities or just avoid the conflicting situation. In the former case, we may have to experience ignominy many a time since the person concerned may get encouraged to create such situations afterwards too. The best way to avoid future conflicting situations is to nip the evil in the bud. Here avoidance of conflicting tantamount to creating more conflicts in future too. These conflicting situations may be creation of our own colleagues or sometimes our superiors due to enviousness in the former case and keep somebody under his thumb in the latter case. Although it is a bit tricky, but it is an disputed fact we have to live with. We should always face realities in our lives. Keeping away from conflicting situations is not a healthy way of conducting ourselves in workplace.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION BY MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AT HOME
In our homes too sometimes we feel pinch. It may be differences between spouses. If one of the spouses just tolerates the conflicting situation or sweeps the same under the carpet to buy momentary peace will face persistent problems. But this scenario cannot be continued indefinitely. Some line has to be drawn – this far and no further. Conflict resolution with discussions on the basis of give and take or may be through the intervention of some trustworthy individual.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION BY THE POLITICAL PARTIES
It has been observed that if simmering/festering conflict goes on in the party and not resolved within timeframe permissible, then, one day such a party will lose its credibility. Such parties will face the ire of the voters. This is happening in Indian National Congress presently. Therefore, intra-party discipline is a must and this could be done with mutual discussions on the basis of give and take. Thus avoidance of conflict in political parties and sweep difference under the carpet would be counter-productive in the long run. Internal party democracy is a must and so is the freedom of expression.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION BETWEEN COUNTRIES
It is worth its while to avoid conflict between countries otherwise peace will not be there between the concerned countries. If we want peace and tranquility between the countries, it is essential that countries concerned should resolve their differences through discussions, détente, agreements etc. and sort out differences. On the other hand, if one country remains tolerating the transgressions with impunity from the other country with the intention of avoidance of conflicting situation without realizing its long term implications, then its results would be disastrous for the tolerating country. It should always be realized that a line should be drawn; this far and no further. The maxim; ‘if you want peace, remain prepared for war’ should always be kept in mind’ and ‘nobody flogs a dead horse’ – meaning nobody respects a weak; this is true of individual or a country. The present example of one of the neighbors occupying some territory of Ladakh is a case in point. If India had accepted the occupation and not taken action of bolstering its defense capabilities, the country concerned must not have retreated from the illegally occupied areas. India positioned its defense forces with necessary weaponry which made the adversary to take recourse to discussions and a sure war was averted for sometime!? This happened because India matched its adversary’s transgression.
CONFLICTING SITUATION BETWEEN THE ANIMALS
Recently, I observed a video how the wild animals take on their prey. A wild stag (with long sharp horns) was pursued by two tigers. The stag ran hard for saving its life but could not match the fast pace of tigers. One of tigers lunged at the stag with all the fury. At first the stag was very fearful and did not defend itself. This encouraged the tigers to take on their docile prey. But surprise of all surprises, suddenly, the stag started taking on tigers with its sharp horns. Seeing the encouraging and ferocious response of the stag, both the tigers just retreated. From this, we can get a lesson; if we have a meek response in a conflicting situation, then, our adversary will take it as our weakness and may prove to be counterproductive. Therefore, best course of action is to face the situation head on.
Firstly we adopt conflict avoidance in case of certain ill-tempered and fastidious persons who habitually are prone to creating piquant situation – with such persons the best way is to agree to disagree but never be argumentive with such people. Secondly, there are the people who flow with the current, they could be easily persuaded to change their mindset.
There are three scenarios in conflicting avoidance or facing the situation head on./
- We want to avoid conflict so as to purchase momentary peace but this momentary peace will prove to be counter-productive in the long run since we have to live in accordance with others’ terms and biddings. An exercise replete with disrespectful existence.
- Facing the conflicting situation will not be easy but it paves the way for earning self-respect albeit with some bruises, physical and mental. But living with self-esteem is better than living with somebody’s mercies with attached strings.
- In a conflicting situations, when we are not able to resolve anything tangible with our adversary going hammer and tongs then agreeing to disagree is the only course of action open for us – a middle ground.
- In Bhagwad Gita the performance of duty from the point of view of gain is considered essential in any situation. Inaction is suicidal. Meeting the challenge is the glory of life. Success need not be the ultimate goal. The spirit with which we act is more important. Act, act and act. Otherwise one will be benumbed by frustration and sorrow.