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Is my husband refusing to take responsibility or am I just being insensitive? (As asked by somebody)

Is my husband refusing to take responsibility or am I just being insensitive? (As asked by somebody)

 

Every time something goes wrong in my husband’s day, he tends to blame his circumstances on a traumatic job experience from his past. He will sit and talk for hours about the same situation, how he was victimized, and how others should have helped him; he sounds as if others owe him loyalty. However, I see the situation as being partly his fault. While I am trying to be sensitive to his needs, I think he’s obsessing and needs to move on. For example, he keeps up with who is hired and fired at his former job and he constantly reads negative former employee reviews. When he sleeps, he has nightmares about the situation or talks about them in his sleep. He’ll sometimes stay up for hours writing about what others should have done differently. It’s like he’s living in the past, and is trying to alter the past situation in his favor. He has developed a negative attitude towards trusting people, even me; he says that the only person he can trust is himself and it’s just a matter of time before I betray him. He no longer wants to go in public in our town because he says that he might run into former coworkers; he drives to the next town to shop. Is this reasonable?

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Best Answer:  From the quandary which you have given, it is evident that fault lies with your husband. Question is; who can help him now? You are the only one who is suffering being near to him and you can only help him come out of this predicament since one who is near the burning fire would be affected by its heat. You have some options which are given below:-


(a) As far as possible, divert his attention from his current state of mind to something productive in the household. If you’ve got your offspring tell him about his/her little little prattles, his/her performance in the school or something positive which has transpired in the household.


(b) Try to take him to temple/church or any other worshipping place which may help him change his outlook and he turns to spirituality. It is a fact that spirituality is a great binding and changing force. Nothing will happen in jiffy. Much water has flown down the drain and spoilt his mind but things could be soothed if you become a stabilizing force. With God’s grace everything could change. This should actually be made known to him by you only. Practical spirituality helps.


(c) He ought to be told in clear terms, whatsoever has happened cannot be retrieved – may it be his prestige or position. He should not delve more in the past which is dead and unpredictable future but try living in the present moment. This moment is right now.


(d) A lot of negativity has cluttered in the mindscale of your husband. Whatever he observes consciously, he pens that down, takes it to sub-conscious mind and subsequently it comes in his dream thus there is possibility of hallucinations’ and talking in the dreams. All of these events go to his non-conscious mind which lead to critical problems. Just be sure that he does not repeat what happens in the office. Official incidents should be left in the corridors of office only. If these are brought to ‘home’ then that home would become house and subsequently a ‘quarrelling house’ – dissensions and breaking point.


(e) If possible, take him for some counseling session, if things do not stabilize soon.


(f) If his parents could chip in for rectification of his state of mind then it may have sound affect on him.

INNER THOUGHTS

Harbans

Askers rating: *****

*********

Family is an institution wherein both the couples should understand each other, have compatibility, possess  the traits of forget and forgive including, sometimes, follow the dictum: Silence is golden. It does not create animosity and differences.

Seemingly, in our quest for smooth relationship, sometimes, we become too much concerned, a concern bordering on inconsiderateness to our partner; which the other partner may think to be insincerity in continuing relationship. For example, if a person has a bad patch in home and office, he/she feels very low mentally. The other partner should listen to his/her problem very minutely, suggest probable solution(s) and if nothing changes through joint efforts then take the help of the elders in the home who would be more than willing to chip in for rendering help since compatibility between the spouses brings in peace and tranquility in the family. If even then solution is not found then professional help could be sought. Above all these, sincere and solid belief on our Creator  solves most of our problem.

Try to cobble home intractable solutions through consultation and persuasion rather than resorting to blame-game in order to score points which may create suspicion and knots which could make the matters worst for the family..


All the above cited should be pursued soon or otherwise it may have negative effective effect on the entire family. The sooner some solution is sought the better for you too.

In our life, we tend to face moments which are not of our liking but wisdom is to withstand and remain cool customer despite hurdles. It should be kept in mind that ‘time’ factor contributes much in our life. It removes much of our skepticism, confusions and misunderstandings.  Those who stick to old-rut and do not learn their lesson from the past experiences are doomed to get more gloom.

 

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Posted by on October 6, 2017 in Inner Thoughts

 

HAPPY VIJAYADASHAMI / DUSSEHRA (30TH SEPTEMBER 2017)

HAPPY VIJAYADASHAMI / DUSSEHRA (30TH SEPTEMBER 2017)

Happy-Dussehra-Quotes-2016.jpg

Vijayadashami or Dushehra or Dushara or Dashara is one of the most prominent Hindu festivals and is celebrated at the end of Navratri. It is an annual feature – on the 10th day of the Hindu month of Ashvin which falls in the month of September – October. Vijayadashami personifies victory of goodness or righteousness over evil or wickedness. Vijay connotes victory and dashmi means falling on the tenth day.

Similarly, Dushara is derived from two syllables: Dus means evil or bad and hara means to destroy or to remove – by its combination, we deduce Dushara as a day which we observe as a sign of removal of evil from our midst. There is, in fact, a lesson for us all – the forces representing evil will ultimately.

Reasons for its celebration in the eastern and northern states of India:-

  • Marks the end of Durga Puja wherein the devout remember Goddess Durga Maa over Demon king Maheshasur thereby restoring the law of Dharma. Maheshasura wanted to establish the rule of demons; for this, he killed many sages/sadhus and even defiled their Yajna fires besides killing general populace.
  • It also marks the end of Navratri, represented by Nine Devis with different traits.
  • In many parts of India Ramlila is enacted wherein different artists play various roles (Lord Rama, Lakshman, Bharat, Shatrugun, Sita Maa, Demon King Ravana, brother Kumbhkarna and Babishna, son Meghnadh etc) from beginning i.e. births of Rama and his brothers, Sita Devi is described as the daughter of Prithvi (the Earth) because she was found in a pot by Mithla King Janaka while ploughing the fields and was brought up by the king.. All the situations are enacted as though it was happening in real life till, of course, on a ninth day on the death of demon king Ravana who is symbolized as the personification of evil.  On the tenth day, the effigies of Ravana, his brother Kumbhkarna and son Meghnadh are burnt to show to the masses at large that the evil ends ultimately.
  •  People also take out processions, carrying the statues of Durga, Lakshmi, Saraswati, Ganesha etc accompanied with the chants of songs and dances and immersed in the water. After immersion of statues, the devotees pray to Maa Durga for blessing them with her bounties for the entire year.
  • After Dusheshra people start preparation for Dipawali – another festival in connection with reception of Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana by the Ajodhya gentry. They illuminated their homes and street for welcoming their beloved Lord Rama.
  • In Northern India, Dashara (ten days) is celebrated to pay respects to Lord Rama. The plays based on the life of Lord Rama and his humble and benevolent rule too Is also depicted in the form of plays and dramas with light and sound accompanied by music and dance. Finally, the effigies of Ravana, Kumbkarna, and Meghnatha are burnt for depicting the end of evil and supremacy of the goodness. In Kullu Valley, there is a big fair and people come to witness this fair with gaiety and enthusiasm to enjoy it.
  • In South India (Karnataka) also Dashehra is celebrated with the worship of Durga Maa. In the south, the festival is dedicated to Lordess of Knowledge Saraswati and worship the books and musical instruments. Children are initiated to studies, it is considered auspicious to start new business ventures and new houses, cars and other properties are purchased.
  • In western regions (In Maharashtra, Rajasthan, and Gujarat), people install their deities and immerse the same on Vijaydashmi. Lord Rama and Goddess Durga are worshipped. The famous dandia dance known as Garba in traditional dresses is one of the wonderful attractions in Gujarat.
  • In eastern regions, the Durga Maa statues are immersed in rivers. Vijayadashami has special significance in West Bengal. Besides worshipping Maa Durga they have singing and dance competitions besides competitions on other literary features.

 

DUSSEHRA/VIJAYADASHAMI   

 

A most sacred festival – an annual event,

Devout rejoice this day as win of goodness over evil,

And take enduring lesson that evil cannot have its sway forever,

It meets its end one day is certain, however, powerful may be the perpetrator.

Lord Shri Ram, the embodiment of righteousness

With most adorable traits with immense prowess

A reservoir of humility with simplicity in abundance

Tolerance, harmony and elderly reverence

That an offspring should  profusely be having

For the parents most adoring.

Lord Rama left for exile, leaving everything in Ayodhya,

When his father Shri Dashratha

Is constrained to act on the promises made in he past

To his wife Kakai – mother of Shri Bharata

And step-mother of Lord Shri Rama,

Who had saved Shri Dashratha’s life once,

By putting her own life in danger,

Consequently, extracting two promises for fulfilling  

At a time and occasion of her own choosing,

Manthra – the courtier of Kakai too showed her true color,

In making Queen Kakai realize the promises,

Crown for her son Shri Bharata

And 14 years in exile for Shri Rama.

Shri Ramji, as expected,  accepted exile for fourteen long years.

And that too without slightest demur,

He embraced the life simplest in the forest,

Subsisting on the fruits and herbs that existed there,

Truly speaking, that is the crux of a lesson for today’s younger generation,

Maa Sitaji the consort of Shri Rama

With brother Lakshmana too accompanied Shri Rama.

The Ravana, the king of Sri Lanka,

With evil intent

And with deception, abducted Sita Maa,

The loving consort of Shri Rama,

Kept her in his garden called Ashok Vatika,

Exhorting Sitaji to marry him,

Sita Mata, being an ideal wife,

Of an ideal husband,

Spurned his a proposal so unethical with disdain it deserved

Who despite his knowledge of Vedas and being the fondest Bhaktas of Lord Shiva

Ruined his name and fame along with the knowledge he had had thus attained

With his acts so highly wicked

An immorality of highest order – by any imaginable yardsticks

A battle between the two armies ensued,

Due to  which Ravana lost his everything dear to him,

His nears and dears and his forces perished

Including his brother Kumbkarna and dear son Methnada

And finally himself – the so called invincible Ravana!

By the sharp arrows of Lord Rama

There is eternal lesson for all of us from this epic,

Remove the evil from our midst,

Burn it out, the sooner it is done the better for us,

As we burn the effigies of Ravana along with Kumbkarna and Meghnada…

Being a religious and yearly ritual,

Vijaydashmi should establish a kingdom of love,

Overflowing with peace, full of tolerance, a feeling of goodwill for all,

A kingdom of love for everybody, leaving none

For it is a celebration for destruction of evil

And a win for TRUTH an ultimate ONE

 

 
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Posted by on September 27, 2017 in Inner Thoughts

 

  HAPPY NAVRATRI FESTIVAL TO ALL. MAY THIS NAVRATRI FESTIVAL BRING ABOUT PEACE AND PROSPERITY FOR ALL OF US.

 

HAPPY NAVRATRI FESTIVAL TO ALL. MAY THIS NAVRATRI FESTIVAL BRING ABOUT PEACE AND PROSPERITY FOR ALL OF US.

NAVRATRI FESTIVAL

Navratri is one of the most sacred festivals that the devout celebrate. It is not merely celebrated by observing some particular rituals but the devotees live a spiritually oriented life in all manifestations. The purpose is to follow the way of life which puts more stress on the subjective experience of sacred dimension. We undertake those karmic deeds during Navratri which transform some of the debit-karmic-deeds to credit-karmic-deeds which helps in personal growth and development individually and also collectively who celebrate it with religious fervor and enthusiasm. Moral and ethical values when followed sincerely could be imbibed as permanent habits to be followed in future too thus Navratri could prove to be a life-changer.

The word NAVRATRI is composed of two syllabuses; NAVwhich means NINE and RATRI mean NIGHTS. Meditation/prayers and fasting are observed by devout during these nine days. A lighter refreshment of milk made products besides fruits, if taken at all, to keep light and pure in body and mind thus helping an individual to keep the body and mind pure. This also provides the devotees’ freedom from adulteration and contamination both in body and mind besides purifying still more the eternal soul along with keeping it taint-free.

A lighter refreshment consisting of milk made product, fruits, and nuts, keeps the body light and the digestive system gets improved thus there is a spread of fragrance of Satoguna and alleviation of Tamoguna and Rajoguna traits. Freedom from contaminated thoughts purifies our mind. Thus observance of fast or vrat (also means resolve) continuously for nine days brings about the stability of our mind and helps in enhancement of our concentration. Besides these, we exercise maximum restraints in our thoughts and deeds and behave in a dignified manner by remaining within confines of decency. All these facilitate generation of the feeling of love and affection for others, enhances peace and tranquility, a feeling of compassion for others and above all a Godly feeling. 

The Navratri are the forerunners for Dushera festival wherein the effigies of demon king Ravana, his brother Kumbhkaran and Meghnath (Ravana’s son) are consigned to flames to showcase to the general public as a lesson that evil, in all its dimension comes to an end ultimately.

All these traits enhance the credibility of an individual devotee who observes the fasts and also offers sincere prayers during these nine days with utmost devotion. The fasts help us to purify our mind, provides lightness to our body provides us an opportunity to devotees for prayers to Goddess Durga Maa – an embodiment of SHAKTI or reservoir of energy.

Mention of Lordess Durga has been found in Vedas and Puranas. Durg was a ferocious demon and Durga, the invincible warrior who killed Durg with her immense prowess. She is the warrior Goddess since she fought evil and forces which spread death and destruction. She works for demolishing demonic forces who want to establish their writ and establish the reign of terror and mayhem amongst the society besides spreading prosperity and goodwill in general masses. She defeats mythical buffalo demon – Meheshasura who had obtained a boon of invincibility from Lord Maheshwara. She is Goddess Parvati, also termed as Durga Saptashati – the consort of Lord Shiva. With her prowess, she proved herself to be unbeatable with limitless mystical powers.

Besides observing fasts, devotees organize congregations in the form of fairs and also enact programs and cultural functions in the form of group dances and devotional songs in praise of Goddess Durga and beseech her blessings.and she being such a benevolent Mother comes to their succor.

Different states celebrate Navratri differently but the spirit of all the celebrations is similar in nature. For example, famous ‘garva dance’ is organized in the state of Gujarat and devotional songs and dance competitions are organized in West Bengal besides prayers in the specially erected and decorated pandals is a usual phone. People visit the famous temples of Vaishno Devi in Katra (in Jammu province) besides all the temples of Goddess Durga in its different forms/manifestations attract devotees in these nine days.

The main driving force of the Navratri is to purify our thoughts and deeds thereof. In these nine days devout observe strict fasts; remain chaste and desist from telling lies. Wish that people always behave like this all the days!

The first three days are celebrated on the name of Durga Mata – Goddess with immense power. For next three days she is worshipped as spiritual wealth – Mata Lakshmi.

Subsequently, for next three days, she is Goddess of wisdom – the Goddess Saraswati. It bestows spiritual enlightenment besides showering an individual with all-around success.

It is useful for our benefit to know the importance of each day.

  1. First Day. On the first day, Mata Durga is termed as Shailputri – the daughter of Himalaya and the consort of Lord Shiva.
  2. Second Day. Mata Durga on the second day is called as Brahmacharini which represents worship. She is the embodiment of huge reserve of power – Shakti.
  3. Third Day. On the third day, the Goddess is venerated as Chandraghanta. She is the embodiment of power and beauty.
  4. Fourth Day. On the fourth day, Maan Durga is worshipped in the form of Kushmanda – the creator of the whole universe by the power of her laughter.
  5. Fifth Day. Here on this day, Skandha – the main warrior of Gods’ army.
  6. Sixth Day. On the sixth day, Mataji takes the form of Katyayani with three eyes and four hands – all powerful and with immense grace.
  7. Seventh Day. On this day, Maan Durga takes the form of Kalratri – she is shown as black as dark night with four hands and makes the evil doers fearless.
  8. Eighth Day. On the eighth day, the Mata Durga takes the form of Maha Gauri – with beauty besides having calmness and exhibits immense wisdom.
  9. Ninth Day. On a ninth day, Maan Durga is worshipped as Siddidatri – with all the eight siddhis. In this form, she is worshiped by all.

Benefits of Navratri:-

  • Strict observance of fasts keep our digestive system in order and helps maintain our body healthy.
  • Fasts help in purifying our mind because we pray Goddess continuously for nine days/nights. It also enhances our focus on the subject we contemplate for completion.
  • Purification of body and mind means spiritually directed conscious mind thus a shift from negativity to positivity
  • Congregations in melas and group processions help the people to people contacts thus animosity, if any, gets obliterated and a feeling of fellow feeling and cooperation sprouts. Contact with each other enhances our outreach in the society.
  • Group dances and spiritual song competitions enhance competitive spirits in the youth and also help them direct their latent energies to productive use.
  • Devotees, in their zeal to show earnest desire to have total connectivity with Goddess Durgaji, offer singular devotion to Her during these auspicious days, reap the harvest of getting their problems solved and get ETERNAL PEACE  in their lives as a reward of this worship.

NAVRATRI FESTIVAL

Truly speaking, Nav means nine

Ratri stands for night

Navratri is the festival of repute

Wherein the devoted disciples

Of all shades celebrate this festival

Twice in a calendar year

First, it is in the March – April, as Chaitra Navratri

Thence October – November as the Shradha Navratri

This festival is related to  Durga Goddess

This ‘Shakti’  with her immense prowess

Overpowered  the ferocious 

Demons that maimed the hapless Sadhus

Even while performing their sacred Yajunas

And in the process defiled the sacredness of Yajna fires.

Goddess Durga in her red attires

Mounted on the lion so fierce

With all the weapons in her custody

Which could inflict havoc on the adversary

Legends abound about Navratri

Demon king Maheshasura worships Lord Shiva

The penance was so severest

That Lord Maheshwara had to grant him a boon of invincibility

That nobody, not even the Gods could kill him

Thence he starts killing innocents with impunity

Then he with forcefully

Conquered the Seven Lokas

Including the throne of Indra.

To eliminate demon Maheshasura

Then there was confabulation between the Trinity

Along with others God too in the company

To defeat and kill this demon turned killer and usurper 

Created Maa Shakti

The Mother with a boundless energy

Or Durga, the Warrior Goddess

The war between Maheshasur and Mother Divine

Which lasted for Nine Day

On day 9th  she killed this evil demon

Navratri symbolizes the victory of good over wickedness

On day ninth which is termed as Mahanavami

Nine young girls are worshipped

Personifying Nine Forms of Durga Goddess

                                   These venerated young girls’ feet are washed

With fresh water and given clothes and food

Navratri too is linked with fertility of land
Folks observe the fitness of earth
By testing seeds germination in pots earthen
Folks also observe fasting rigidly
And keep them chaste
In words and in deeds indeed.

Another legend has makes it known
King Daksha the King of Himalayan Kingdom
Was blessed with a daughter
He named her Uma – a most beautiful one
She worshipped Lord Shiva immeasurably
So that He may accept her in marriage easily
Having pleased Lord Shiva
Thus marries Uma
Against the wishes of King Dhaksha
One day King Dhaksha held a grand Yagna
All Gods except Shiva were invited
Uma wanted to attend Yagna
With Lord Shiva’s reservation
And against His wishes even
King Daksha reprimanded her for coming uninvited
In rage, she jumps into Agni Kund (Fire-grate) and perished
And was termed as Sati
Madev as Virbadhara took King Daksha to task for this
On rebirth (as Parvati) she marries Lord Shiva again
She comes to Her parents to stay for Nine Days
And thus we celebrate these Nine Days as Navratri.
Legend also has it that Lord Rama
Worshipped Goddess Durga’s
Nine Forms for nine days
On day tenth He was able to kill powerful demon king Ravana
Thus day tenth is celebrated as Vijayadashami or Dussehra
First three days are dedicated to Goddess Durga
In the form of child; young girl and mature woman
The three varied stages of womanhood
Symbolizing victory of evil over falsehood
Next three days are dedicated to Goddess of Wealth & Prosperity
Her name is Goddess Lakshmi
She symbolizes wealth; peace and prosperity
Last three days are commemorated in the name of Goddess Saraswati
The Goddess of knowledge
In snowy white dress
Mounted on a white swan
Thus Navratri is termed as the sign
Of purity and well-being

Let this Nine Days wonder 

Be the game-changer 

And engenders peace and prosperity

And enough Wellness for all and sundry 

This is my the most sincere prayer to thee, my Mother Divine

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2017 in Inner Thoughts

 

WHAT WHEN SOMEBODY BELIES OUR CONFIDENCE?

 

 

WHAT WHEN SOMEBODY BELIES OUR CONFIDENCE?

BREACH OF CONFIDENCE/TRUST

It is important to note that breach of trust is personal or subjective in nature. Some may feel when their confidence is broken others may partly feel while many others may not feel its pinch at all.  Expectations from anybody to a limit are tolerable but when it goes on the tangent then we have to change ourselves and try not to take everything seriously which comes our way otherwise this may impact us physiologically and psychologically.

Great epic Mahabharata clearly gives us a wonderful insight into the fact as to how deception, deceit and belying of confidence of others could bring about deaths and destructions. The Pandavas, the sons of King Pandu, lost their every bit of possessions, jewelry, race horses, including everything which they possessed.

Shakuni had such a magical dices, by the playing of which every bit of wager went in his favor. After having won every bit of possessions, Shakuni promised to return back everything lost if they wagered their consort Draupadi. At this late stage, the Pandava brothers could not retrieve their steps as it was the custom of the Kshatriyas, they were constrained to continue till the end. All these acts were transacted by belying the confidence of Pandavas.

Having lost everything including their consort Duryodhana, the elder son of Kaurava King Dhritarashtra wanted to teach a lesson to Draupadi for insulting him once. He wanted her to be disrobed publically in front of elders of the family including Beeshma, Drona, and Kripa but Lord Krishna delivered her of this misfortunate but as a result had sown the seeds of war between the armies of Kauravas (who were known for their treachery and deception).

LOPSIDED VIEW OF OUR LIFE

There are the people who do not know the real purpose of their life on this planet. They placate their ego by amassing riches without realizing that this life of ours is an impermanent one thus they live in self-deceptive stance. In Bhagavad Gita it has amply been made clear by Lord Krishna as to what is impermanent and what is eternal. Those who know these realities attain knowledge of immense importance. Our body is destructible but the soul which dwells in this soul cannot be destroyed. Those who do not act on this reality live in the unreal and deceptive world. Harming others by design or to intent to harm others for personal gain is self-destructive.

NECESSITY OF HAVING CONFIDENCE

 

It is truthful that the affairs of any household, neighborhood, community or country cannot run smoothly without confidence or faith on others. We simply trust others that is why we feel confident to deal with others. Nothing could be transacted without mutual confidence and trust. Confidence in others is one of the important constituents of our dealings with others. It is a two-way traffic – based on quid pro quo. In other words, if we trust others, it is natural that others too will trust us.

It has been ordained in Bible: God seeks those that will stand in the gap and repair the breach between God and man as well as between men. These are men and women that continue to move forward no matter what. These are men and women that know how to rescue opportunities out of adversities. These are men and women that are committed to making each other whole. These are men and women that are like God.

We have the confidence on the driver of the bus we ride for a safe journey to our destination. If that driver breaches our trust and suddenly jumps out of the bus fearing loss of balance by the bus and let the passengers plunge into the deep gorge. He saves himself from death or otherwise but has surely breached the trust of the passengers and those people who witnessed that accident. Similar is the case with a drowning warship whose commander himself to drowns with everything that is in the ship including its crews.There are several examples where a warship, in active action, is hit and all its occupants took watery graves in the ocean. That is the saga of the true heroism.

BELIEF ON OUR TEACHER OR GURU

The Guru or teachers or preacher should have our confidence. One of the best known Gur Mantra is Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu, Guru Devo Maheshwara. It is in the praise of Lord Brahma (Lord of Creation or procreation), Lord Vishnu (Lord responsible for evolution what has been created) and Lord Shiva (Lord responsible for destruction for further procreation). We trust our Guru, teachers or preachers simply because they mold our destinies by imparting knowledge thereby we take up various vocations or avocations or innovation apart from the inculcation of spiritual understanding. If the Guru or the teacher, to whom we send our children, breach our trust or confidence then what happens? When our expectations are belied, we feel let down. It goes to show that we should not blindly follow somebody until such time we know his/her background and conduct so that we may not have to be disappointed besides being painted when we find ourselves ditched. We should actually experience life by living ups and downs/vicissitudes of life. This way, we can be our own teacher.

PARENTS’ CONFIDENCE ON SCHOOLS THEY ARE SENDING THEIR WARDS

The life of seven years old named Praduman was cut short by a bus conductor in one of the schools in Gurugram recently. This is largely due to a breach of trust or confidence of enormous proportion which the parents had in the school as a whole. Nothing can assuage the emotional disturbance of the parents who had lost their loved one but it is the fitness of things if a thorough investigation by a reputed agency is done so that such grievous incidents do not recur and in each case guilty is held accountable and punished. A thorough audit of the security aspects of the school should also be conducted so as to avoid recurrence.

 Be that as it may, it is evident that we trust others simply because it is for our own benefit, but sometimes, we have not to seek or aspire for benefits in order to gain others’ confidence. If we have to suffer to win others trust, that is up to us after going through all imponderables under the prevailing circumstances.

In Holy Quran, the essence of life has been written: ‘and fulfill the promise, surely (every) promise shall be questioned about.’ O you who believe! Fulfill the obligations…..and the performers of their promise when they make a promise…

There are some conditions which are necessarily very important while we have faith on others. These conditions are:-

  • Why we should trust some. There are cases where we are constrained to have confidence on others otherwise this world of ours cannot be run smoothly.
  • Confidence on our Bhagwanji/Creator. It is well said that when nothing moves there is the mystic spirit which comes to our succor when every other person ditches us.
  • Why we should not trust some. Experience is the guide when we trust others but still, they belie our trust. This is applicable in our relationships in the family, in the neighborhood and between members of a community or even between countries or in the workplace too. When a country believes one country and that country stabs us in the back by breaching our trust.
  • Track record of the person concerned. It is paramount that we see the track record of the person concerned and then form an opinion whether to trust or otherwise. It is certainly not one-way trail.
  • Trust impinging on our life. We have to trust others when it comes to our personal relationship such as we’ve to believe our offspring, our parents, our blood relations etc.
  • Trust others whether one trusts us or not. There are times when we have to maintain our confidence even though others may or may not trust us. Others may give the lie to our confidence but we’ve to teach a lesson to the concerned person that truth always wins in the long run; deception does not.
  • Expectations on others. It is paramount that we should not have much expectation from others since if these are belied then we feel very suspicious on the human psyche.
  • The choice is on us whether we want to believe or trust others. It is also a truth that if we do not want to trust others, nobody can force us. But there is a caveat, we can hardly transact anything tangible by remaining detached from others?

Conclusively, it could be construed that when our faith or belief or confidence reposed on others is breached, it hurts us immensely physically and emotionally. Therefore, it is the fitness of things that we keep our mental balance despite provocations. This is a reality of life, we all have to experience and live with. If somebody trusts us, it is all right, if does not, it is also all right but we’ve to continue doing our right Karma with detachment. But if still somebody belies our trust then only way left is to leave everything in the hands of Creator who will certainly deliver us from everything negative.

 
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Posted by on September 15, 2017 in Inner Thoughts

 

ON OUR RELIGIOUS GODMEN /RELIGIOUS PREACHERS

ON OUR RELIGIOUS GODMEN / RELIGIOUS PREACHERS

MEANING OF RELIGION

The religion is famously called as the one which transforms the mind of its proponents; changes negative mindset into the positive one. It is one of the most revered institutions which serve its purpose when it becomes a medium or a vehicle of change in the thinking and mindset of the concerned individuals for the overall good of the humanity. Religion, in fact, is run on the basis of laid down norms and principles enshrined in various scriptures. Truth is the hallmark or cornerstone/foundation on which a religion stands. Different religions have different scriptures; which could be construed as different paths in order to reach a single SOURCE. This Source is omnipotent and omniscient which adores us without any discrimination. We’ve to seek Him sincerely and He is there for our assistance.

SCRIPTURAL KNOWLEDGE

The scriptural knowledge contained in different Holy Books requires somebody knowledgeable person to spread the respective messages contained in these. This ‘knowledgeable’ person should spread the message in right earnest. His earnestness is revealed when he/she transforms the ill-informed or ignorant people into knowledgeable thus removing the rampant ‘darkness’ that prevails in them. How best he/she does this depends solely on his/her Initiative and method adopted including the sincerity in which one spreads the message. When this message is spread with a motive to garner riches for enhancing power and pelf then it is bad. Here the intention is to lubricate the ego which is enemy number one for spiritual march ahead. Such people neither are connected with God nor know the truth about God and His existence.

GURU FOR SPREAD OF SCRIPTURAL TRUTH       

The Guru originates from the Sanskrit which means a ‘teacher or a preacher’ but in real term, it is more significant than a teacher or a preacher. As per Bhagwad Gita, Guru is the one who eradicates ignorance or darkness from us. Guru or acts as spiritual teacher. The Guru Mantra whispered in our ear transforms us if we follow this Mantra sincerely.

Essentially, there are some reasonable posers which we should take into account while choosing an appropriate Guru Deva Ji. These question are; firstly, to whom to make a spiritual Guru secondly, when to make a spiritual Guru and thirdly how easily and sincerely we endeavour to pursue his discourses and sermons to the best of our ability and belief for our spiritual forward march. But for this, we’ve to be very cautious in our selection because if that spiritual Guru chosen gets embroiled in some illegal, immoral or unethical activities. We can easily imagine the predicament in which we may fall when we come to know that one to whom we believe not only belied our belief but also our Bhagwanji too. All this will surely, later on, disappoint us immeasurably after coming to know about the dark-side of our Guru. A Guru is venerable but not vulnerable to negative attributes.

A Guruji could be a living one or may be in his heavenly abode but his spiritual knowledge should still influence us not only spiritually but also become a guiding light in our day to day activities. Gurus should be like: Shri Paramhansa Ji whose various books on spiritualism including AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A GURU are the guiding lights for different people round the globe. These written works could guide us and influence our Karma. Guru Mantra given to us by our Guru as per own capacity and spiritual inclination can work wonders in our life

It is relevant to mention about my own Guru Ji, Late Shri Sarupananda of Nangli Sahib (UP) whispered a Guru Mantra in my ear which I recite in my prayers thus helping me in maintaining God’s connectivity and becomes a guiding light in whatever I transact. Although he is not with me in person yet he remain influencing me in variety of ways. That is the secret of a Guru or a Godman.

If and when that spiritual leader or a Guru is found to have indulged in morally flawed and ethically  wrong misdeeds / kukaramas then we can well image the state of our disappointment. For such a so called Guru, the phrase ‘A wolf in sheep’s clothing’ or  a wolf masquerading in sheep’s clothing stands good for such a person. Fact stands out that conviction of Gurmeet Ram Rahim’s conviction in two rape cases has proved that we should not be taken in by the outward platitudes and high sounding deceptive rhetoric’s. The decision of Hon’ble Court was eye-opener not only for the supporters consisting of unlettered populace of this misleading individual called GURMEET RAM RAHIM. He is not fit for calling himself as ‘Insan’ human even.

GREED BRINGS ABOUT OUR DOOM

It is observed that people in general give more credence to material possessions than any other consideration such as spiritual orientation etc which is in fact a curse. Thus we can infer that more desire for worldly possessions bring in its wake more desire for more possessions and this chain reaction for ‘more – still more’ remain unending consequently we are engulfed in the web of negativism of our own making. This highest stage of ignorance or lack of knowledge goes on unabated putting the concerned proponent into the quicksand of ‘no return’ situation. This is similar to the condition with the Godmen of today who aspire for riches and reach to the situation of ‘no return’ because it is too late when realization dawns on them. Such is the condition with some of our so called Godmen who have thrust into the allurement of external shine. They live for wealth, accumulate more and more of it by hoodwinking the gullible or easy to fool masses by resorting to any means whatsoever. Similar is the case with our Godmen such as Gurmit Ram Rahim etc.

Those who advice others to follow a disciplined life should first of all follow disciplined life themselves. Mere advising others and giving them spirit boosting talk will not serve any purpose. A spiritual preacher should understand fully what actually spiritualism stands for. Tall talk will neither be good for the followers nor the preacher himself/herself. I am giving some of so called spiritual preachers whose Kukarma came in the glare/domain of general public which not only has lowered them in the eyes of their followers but also their standing for good.

GURMEET RAM RAHIM

It is pertinent to mention that so called Godman Gurmeet Ram Rahim controlled his empire with more than 1,000 acres of land at one place and even more in other places, vast expanse of campus, with multi-specialty hospital, luxury resort, schools, palatial abode with cave like structure, hospitality and hotel businesses, with MSG brand ayuvedic products and cosmetics, business in clothes, animal care products and a battery making factory etc. he should have been called a businessman rather than a Godman. This modern Godman should be termed as a business tycoon of highest repute if he wanted so. His adopted daughter and he had produced films which were being screened in his own cinema hall known as Mahi. To top it all, he had armed guards to defend his empire and to protect his ill-gotten wealth and also with an ulterior intention that nobody should know his ulterior activities.

A compassionate and humanitarian / philanthropic related work should not carry the tag of ‘commercial activities’. If we perform some humanitarian service, it should never ever be done after giving wide publicity or drumming about it. For charity or empathy, our left hand should not know what our right hand is doing. That is the well established norm for a good work done and if that work is done in order to garner profit, then that work loses its significance in the eyes of our Creator. Being compassionate is so good but to be compassionate with huge reservoir of humbleness gives us eternal satisfaction.

As a result of his conviction by the court for rapping two Sadhvis, he was awarded 20 years imprisonment for the heinous crime perpetrated by him. Gurmeet Ram Rahim started weeping in the court room. His crime was more monstrous since he belied the beliefs of lacks of his followers who believed him immensely. He did not leave his own female disciples and finger is also being pointed that he had affair with his adopted daughter. In fact a shameful act for a so called godman.

In the prison cell, the godman cries, why i had done this? This lamentation is just a façade. He did not take any food for two days after his imprisonment. He pretented that he was the patient of hypertension and other diseases. His rependence, at this stage, when all the sex cases against this godman have been proved beyond any stretch of doubt.

RADHEY MAA

It is not the men folks who fool the common people with their tricks to have spiritual knowhow but there are some women too in this. There is the case of Radhey Maa, a so called spiritual preacher but known for her controversial issues like harassing her devotees etc. Born in Gurdaspur (Punjab), she was drawn towards spirituality from her early childhood. She moved to Mumbai and hoodwinked the gullible masses but she kept her connection with Punjab and participate in religious congregations. She too has substantial followers. Subsequently a police case was filed against her for physical assaults and other cases attributed to her. Such is the state of our religious preachers. They could go to any limit for getting money and publicity.

ASARAM BAPU

I had the opportunity of attending his discourses four times. In each of his congregation, he had a special mantra to maintain connectivity with our Bhagwanji. His motivational anecdotes, words and phrases for his followers were obviously very impressive. Seemed as though he can do no harm to anyone. He mesmerized his audience with his oratory on spirituality. Never in our dreams, we could fathom that such a person with lacs of followers / devotees could do anything which is attributed to him.

He too have several acres of land attached with his various ashrams, running schools in the Ashrams, have factories to manufacture Ayurvedic products, a monthly bi-lingual magazine published besides a host of spiritual activities performed by his followers. But a complaint by the parents of a teenaged girl against Asaram for sexually assaulting her, opened a Pandora Box against him and his son named Narayan Sai. Both were imprisoned and case registered against father and son duo. All this goes to show ‘When wealth is lost nothing is lost, when health is lost , something is lost, but when character is lost, all is lost’.

SWAMI FROM THE SOUTH

Another so called Guru from South India too vanished in the thin air when he was convicted of sexual abuse in the USA. The Barsana Dham where he conducted his spiritual lectures was also famous for having all sorts of activities like yoga classes, concerts, discourses including interfaith ones besides doing humanitarian work of rendering help to refugees adversely affected by Hurricane Katrina.

A true preacher of a Dharma Guru should have the following traits:-

(a)    He should know fully what is spiritualism and relevant belief system.

(b)   He should not preach others something which he cannot follow himself.

(c)    He should command respect from not only his followers but also the general public.

(d)   Worldly possessions should not be his weakness.

(e)    He should preach others in a language which is understood by his audience.

(f)      He should rather be humble and compassionate to the core.

(g) Finally he should know the true import of Guru Dharma and influence which he could exercise on his devotees for their overall good.

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 8, 2017 in Inner Thoughts

 

ACCEPTANCE – ITS SIGNIFICANCE IN OUR LIFE  

ACCEPTANCE – ITS SIGNIFICANCE IN OUR LIFE

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Acceptance means an acknowledgment that something has been agreed upon. It may be taking responsibility for any conduct or behavior or attitude that we display. It may also be the ultimate agreement between parties that a particular course of action has to be pursued. Sometimes our expectations are belied, we feel disheartened when our course of action becomes all the more blurred.

Literally, acceptance means the action of putting an affirmative stamp on our thoughts and actions. It may mean ‘That which cannot be cured must be endured’ despite our best efforts. Truly speaking, the actual meaning of acceptance is not as simple as it seems to be. It hardly means an escape route in order to turn our face away from answerability. Acceptance may also mean harmony under protest when nothing works.

When our acceptance or agreement reached bilaterally are disproved, due to the enormity of problem at hand, we feel displeased to an extent that further course of action becomes blurred in confusion and hopelessness. It could be construed as the only course left open for us or it could be a short time pull back to understand the nitty gritty of the problem at hand. We are constrained for an acceptance, something which is handed over to us by somebody – it may be as a gift or a return gift.

ACCEPTANCE OF TRUTH ONLY ALTERNATIVE

There is no option but to accept the natural truth – the Natural Laws are independent of interpretations or understandings. These are real and we’ve no option but to give our acceptance, anywhere anytime. as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the earth revolves around the sun, everything that exists is part of nature and cannot be disputed. Mathematical calculations could be tested and attested anywhere anytime with the similar results.

In Granth Sahib Ji, it has been said: Acceptance that everybody is the manifestations of God, and everybody has His reflection within us and our life has been gifted by Him only and we should sing his virtues.

HOLY QURAN has very succinctly made known that nothing but righteousness is dear to Allah – not even most important or most valuable thing to an individual: ‘Not their flesh, nor their blood reaches Allah, but what reaches Him is your righteousness.’

HOLY BIBLE gives too much credence to righteousness than anything else. It is more than sacrifice that we give: O do righteousness and justice Is desired by the LORD more than sacrifice.

ACCEPTANCE OF TRUTH. It is axiomatic that we have no alternative but to accept the Ultimate Truth. It has been right proclaimed by Lord Krishna in his interlude with Arjuna while stressing upon him that he has no option but to perform his duty as a fighter to actively take part in the battle with his own kit h and kin. : By Me, in My unmanifested form, this entire universe is pervaded. All beings are in Me, but I am not in them.

ACCEPTANCE COULD BE COMPULSIVE

Acceptance when undertaken compulsively or with unfounded intention brings about unpredictable consequences in future. For example acceptance of a person to be God – connected or spiritually aware without reasonable proof or without checking the background of that person brings about misery in the long run. On 25th August 2017, there is a disturbing case of Gurmit Ram Rahim who had several thousand followers has been convicted of rape charges.  What followed thereafter is really pathetic – violence and mayhem taken toll of precious lives!

WHEN REASON OR RATIONALITY FAILS, ACCEPTANCE IS THE ONLY COURSE

In essence, when reason or rationality fails to click, then, we are constrained to, perforce; take a course of action which is appropriate in the given condition or situation which may have emerged. There are two options; either we fight the adverse situation or there is another window of opportunity, condition ourselves for application of sagacity or wisdom gleaned from our past reservoir of experiences and also with the plentiful graces of our Bhagwanji. 

Alternatively,  when our experience and reason fail to meet the test of enormity of problem, it goes to prove that we are without the graces of God hence only way left for us is acceptance; doubtlessly, a solitary way left out for us. For instance, Vasudev and Devki had no alternative but to accept their fate when Kamsa imprisoned them with a promise that they will give their newborn babies to him so that they are killed by him till, of course, eighth issue who was none other than God’s (Lord Vishnu) incarnation.

WHEN ACCEPTANCE IS ONLY ALTERNATIVE

In order to reach to a firm decision of acceptance of our fait accompli, it is pragmatic that we welcome such acceptance with an open mind without compunction forgetting the pinpricks that we experienced during our tortuous journey of life.  During that journey of life, we may have gone through worse situations but when we have decided to accept a situation or condition, we should be steadfast because in this acceptance our self esteem is involved.

WHEN ACCEPTANCE IS THE MIDDLE COURSE

In this sort of a unforeseen event, our acceptance which is taking a middle path with our own freewill is the only option. In other words, acceptance is our compulsion because seemingly there is no indelible stamp of God affixed.

Following are some of the imponderables which need to be understood for understanding the meaning of acceptance in its entirety:-

(a) Acceptance of our fate or whatever is destined to us. One thing possibly that is in our hand is to sincerely work hard and then the God’s graces would be showered on us. But if we fail  to deliver despite our best efforts, then what? That is the moot point we have to ponder. Meaning something is missing that is why we have not been successful. In this case, therefore, acceptance is only a plausible way. Otherwise the negative result will keep haunting us.

(b) Bargaining for acceptance. Sometimes, we feel disheartened by  sudden change in scenario or situation or condition that we are left with no alternative but to bargain with our adversary for a way out. We agree or disagree, but many a times, we could face such predicaments.

(c) Risk in acceptance. Acceptance should be the last resort, when every other options just fail to tick. Hasty decision in accepting due to sudden change is situation could be risky sometimes, too. We should, therefore, be careful and wait for pros and cons and reach to a plausible decision based on situational changes and our defence mechanism. Let it be understood that nobody should dictate terms to us.

(d) Being grateful for anybody for coming to our assistance. When we are placed in a piquant situation and our well wisher may come to our rescue, then we have to accept our situation and express our gratefulness to the person concerned.

(e) Negative Orientation in Acceptance. There are people who accept bribe or gratification for getting particular job done. Lure of inducement can taint and tarnish our character should never be forgotten thus acceptance of bribe should be shunned.

(f) Accetance of Regrets. Accepting regrets or denial, apology for a thing done accidently. Morality or good manners or gentlemanly behavior expects us for acceptance of our mistake(s) which we must be committed knowingly or unknowingly.  

(d)   Acceptance of resignation. When somebody does not want to serve in an organization, or when a person at the position of power is not able to discharge his/her duties as per laid down norms then we can understand that that person is told to tender resignation either voluntarily or is forced to do so. 

(e)   Acceptance of witness by the court. Acceptance of a witness in the court of law could be considered as an important requirement to avoid miscarriage of justice.

(f)     Acceptance in a community or social acceptance. To adjust in the society we want to live, we have to follow some norms of behavior and conventions besides, of course, social customs and traditions which are dear to the community concerned. If we do not follow those norms we are not bestowed with the acceptance by that society or community.

(g)    Acceptance of a bride in the family. The fact of being accepted by a family depends partly by the efforts of a bride to assimilate the changed situations and conditions at new home.

(h)   Acceptance at our workplace. Our acceptance at the workplace in any organization is sequel to our traits of adaptability / adjustability and how best we understand  the rules that an organization has codified. Here acceptance of duties and responsibilities are  considered sacrosanct. .

A fond acceptance that we have come here for a purpose and that purpose is to know our strength and weaknesses, improve our weaknesses to the extent possible with God’s grace and those ones which cannot be done even after our sincerest efforts, then acceptance is the only way out. Accept it, since humans have weaknesses only our God is perfect in every way.

We can convert our passing happiness to enduring happiness by accepting that our Soul does not perish with the perishing of our body. This acceptance could help us live life purposefully.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2017 in Inner Thoughts

 

Ganesha Chaturthi – The Birth Day Of Veghana-Harta (Obstacle-Averter) & Vegana-Karta (Obstacle-Creator For Evil Doers) – Celebrations from 25th August 2017 (Friday) to 5th September 2017 (Tuesday).

 

Ganesha Chaturthi – The Birth Day Of Veghana-Harta (Obstacle-Averter) & Vegana-Karta (Obstacle-Creator For Evil Doers) – Celebrations from 25th August 2017 (Friday) to 5th September 2017 (Tuesday).

Before delving on as to why we celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi, it is essential that we should know the circumstances and how life was infused in a lifeless creation by Lordess Parvati.

Ganesh Chaturthi or Vinayak Chaturthi is celebrated on the birthday of Lord Ganesha, which falls between 25th August 2017 (Friday) to 5th September 2017 (Tuesday). He is the most loved son of Lord Shiva and Lordess Parvati. The devotees’ firm belief is that on this day, he bestows his supreme blessings on us with his presence and showers his bounties (shuvta) on us as he is the Lord of prosperity, unlimited wisdom, and a troubleshooter to the core.

The Ganesha’s birthday is celebrated according to the Hindu Calendar month of Bhaadrapada starting with the Shukla Chaturthi – 4th day of the waxing moon period till 14th day of waxing of the moon. There is a celebration of ten days for which exhaustive preparations are made before hand. This includes; procuring of the lovely idol of Lord Ganesha, preparation of eatable, especially modaks for friends and relatives, some install Ganesha Idol on this day. This festival is celebrated in almost all the parts of India. Even in foreign countries like Canada, USA, UK etc where Indians are there, this festival is celebrated with gaiety and enthusiasm. It has special relevance in Maharashtra.

How the Birthday of Lord Ganesha came about?

Legend has it that Lordess Parvati created Ganesha out of sandalwood paste which was applied to Her body before taking bath. She was impressed by her own creation which ignited her curiosity of breathing / infusing life into that creation. Low and behold, the creation of Maan Parvati came to life!

Subsequently, She told him to guard the entrance to the bathroom and ordered him not to allow anybody enter it while she took bath. All this transpired when Shiva had gone somewhere. When He returned back, Ganesha, standing guard, did not allow Him to enter. On asking who he was. Ganesha replied that he was Ganesha the son of Maa Parvati.

Lord Shiva sent His Ganas to teach the child first lesson in mannerism. As Ganesha was created by Shakti, he was very powerful besides being obedient to the core. Indira and his army of demigods too used their power to overpower Ganesha but in vain.

Now it was the turn of Narda with Saptarishis came for persuading the child for allowing Lord Shiva but it was also a futile exercise. All this infuriated Lord Shiva still further. Out of anger, He severed the head of Ganesha. When Maan Parvati came out after Her bath, she found the severed head from the body of her creation. This scene enraged her immensely. Observing her state, Lord Shiva promised to bring back to life their son. For this purpose, the demigods went in search of the person facing north. They could not find any humans. They could find only bring the elephant’s head which was fixed on the headless body. Ganesha came back to life instantly through the supernatural powers of Lord Shiva.

LORD GANESHA

 

Known as Ganapati or Vinayaka

One who is powerful deities of all

He is most easily identified

With elephant head

Ganesha is born out of the dirt

Rubbed out of the being of Adi Shakti

Goes to show that what comes out of

Even from dirt has boundless power

A Maya of all encompassing one

The one who is the first deities to be venerated.

 

When a new venture has to see the light of the day

He is also worshipped for getting power and pelf

For the whole family and for self

For getting good health and good days ahead.

 

Ganesha has two consorts

Named Ridhi and Sidhi

Ridhi is for prosperity that is required

Sidhi is for getting spiritual movement upward

Including increasing positive thoughts into actionable results.

 

Lord Ganesha is also worshipped

For bestowing protection

And for increasing the power of recreation

Whilst removing obstacles from one’s path

Because Lord Ganesha

Is considered as the patron

Of sagacity and intellect in abundance

My fond prayers to Thee O Lord Ganesha

Do bestow ease, peace & grace

For all humanity

So that all live in harmony.

 

WHY GANESH CHATURTHI IS CELEBRATED?

Previously, only Hindus used to participate in the festivities but presently there is a community participation in this festival. There is the enactment of concerts; discourses based on intellectual/spirituality related topics, skits, folk dances etc. Dahi Handi competition is another interesting and much awaited by the participants. Here prizes are also given. People of all castes, religions, and color participate in these festivities and this becomes a fertile ground for national integration and engenders understanding between different communities. All these activities have the two-fold benefit. Firstly, it enhances unity in diversity and secondly, it ensures completive fervor between people.

As Lord Ganesh is the embodiment of good tidings, people start their new businesses on this auspicious day so as to have His blessings for the success.

From the above, it is evident that this auspicious day of Ganesh Chaturthi is celebrated for ensuring cohesion/unity between all the communities, encourage non-discriminatory ideas/ideals besides getting the opportunity to celebrate the auspicious occasion imbibing spiritual onward march and finally to get Lord Ganesh’s bounties of unlimited intelligence and wisdom.

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2017 in Inner Thoughts